My Dear Boy: Turning Sixty

Reflecting on Six Decades

I suppose for most people, except those who, as a matter of doctrine or belief, do not observe celebrations, birthdays are moments of significance marked with both reflection and revelry. I would not suggest I am given to the latter except under duress.

From yesterday into today, I have received many congratulatory messages across numerous platforms to celebrate this momentous day. Family, friends, neighbours, the church community, acquaintances, colleagues, and well-wishers have contributed in ways that have made the day exceedingly memorable.

One such endearing message came from my father, including the phrase, "My dear boy." In that simplicity of language, my father had encapsulated the span of 60 years into a single memory and recognition. [Facebook Status]

The surprise of my birth, announced by a telegram dropped through the letterbox at 7:00 AM, invited him to attend the maternity home immediately for formal matters concerning my transfer to a larger hospital for neonatal intensive care for premature births. Then the realisation that that child is now 60 must be profound.

Heartfelt Tributes and Quiet Celebration

Brian, my partner, wrote a proclamation that should, at some point, be recorded as a dramatisation of a town clerk announcing at the entrance of a city hall the significant occasion of a diamond jubilee.

The low-key event I preferred took place in the Manchester Cathedral library within a bible study group, where we had, amongst other things, a cheese platter and cupcakes. Then, in the evening, my neighbours, who had put up "Happy 60th Birthday" banners in our corridor and on my door, took me out for a meal.

As expected, I also made full use of napping time, so I missed many calls on my phone. Some I was able to return much later in the day.

Staying True to Myself

Some who would think one should have had a grand celebration or now prepare for one, but that is not what I want, need, or desire. I am not the partying type; the prospect of it is already draining my resolve, and I hope I can nip it in the bud before it gains support, currency, and momentum.

Thank you to everyone who has graciously afforded me love, recognition, consideration, and greetings for my birthday. May the joy of Christmas and the best things for the New Year be with you, your kith and kin.

On a Tuesday, 56 years ago

Four days to Christmas

On a cold Tuesday morning, a boy-child was born, and for a manger, he had an incubator in which he lay for just over 2 months. Mary, the mother was soon back in the fields of work just after Joseph, the father had handled the hamster-sized boy and signed the papers to have the boy taken out of town. That is my nativity in a nutshell.

My heart is full of thanks and gratitude for the celebration of my 56^th birthday, and what a year it has been, but we cannot dwell on the difficulties and hardships when there is much to be grateful for, for the blessings and the grace to see another year, in warmth, with love, and buoyed with hope for the future.

Do not fold to old

Much as I am excited, a little voice of distraction whispers within that I always strive to interrupt and challenge myself about the possible, the attainable and the achievable. I have to believe that at 56, there is no barrier to adventure, new horizons, long-term planning, fresh perspectives, knowledge and new ideas.

Indeed, things are harder as youth begins to creep away into the distant past, nothing is impossible. Obviously, I have to lay out plans, things to do, things to undo, places to go, lives to impact, even legacies to build amongst the myriad issues of life. My health is good, I have worked to attain some fitness, taken precautions in the midst of a pandemic, applied my energies where they can be productive and profitable.

Thanks and more thanks

My very close friends, Kola, Funmi, Steven, Patrick, and Sola, have supported me marvellously, urging me on through the days to the better and the brighter, they are all so different and yet together in their relationships with me bring a kind of completeness into the things that concern me. Thank you.

My longsuffering siblings and even niblings (nieces and nephews) who all can supplant me as firstborn, not on a pot of soup like Esau, but in my demonstrated childlike demeanour, they give me such purpose, I am fulfilled. My aged parents being who they always have been, I love you all.

Most of all, I celebrate today again with the love of my life, Brian. You are my joy, you have persevered through these uncertain times of limitations, restrictions, and distance. I have truly been blessed with the incomparable companionship of an angelic being. You are the best.

I live like that there are not many tomorrows to come and as each day comes, new dreams tell of tomorrows I could never have anticipated with the hope and assurance that much more would be seen to laud, celebrate, and cherish. I am thankful for the day, today, the blessings, the prayers, the love, the life, and the joy it has brought. Faithful, my God is daily and always.

On my 54th birthday, I give thanks

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Even for this

Unexpected as I was, I became the first child and son of a young couple on a cold winter morning in the UK. I have however learnt to be thankful and full of gratitude for the life that I have been blessed with.

The many trials and tribulations that have set me up for opportunities I could never have seen from the downturns that could have suffocated me but for the spirit of hope, expectation and good fortune that has guided me to a solid and firm height out of the doldrums.

There is much

I am grateful for the privileges and the accidents, the stories I have been given to tell. I found love and happiness with some who has fixed smiles on my face, my heart and my soul, Brian is a soulmate like I have never ever known before, I hope to share the rest of my life with him.

Here I am giving thanks, a decade after a cancer that could have ended it all, situations and circumstances have become signposts of history, friendships have grown, and achievement has surpassed achievement towards new recognition and prospects.

To be thankful

My heart overflows with thanks and tribute to my parents, my siblings, my friends, colleagues generous with time, space, commendation, and reference, I have been loved, helped and supported much more than I deserve.

I mark my 54^th birthday in the company of my boyfriend, thank you for making every moment count for ones to cherish. I give thanks, thanks, thanks again, I cannot shirk in counting my blessings and having a grateful heart, for life, for health, for love, for hope, for opportunity, for laughter, for joy, for the future and for more things to be thankful for.

To God mostly

I have music in my heart and most of all, I give thanks to God, I cannot have planned this life and many of the ways it has turned out feels like I have been a living miracle. From the day a boy no bigger than a hamster was born at just six and a half months to the day that the Lord as made.

I have been blogging for 13 years

The same story told again

Thirteen years ago, I wrote my very first blog from a hotel room in Berlin. It was not my first foray into writing, though throughout my primary school days, I was much more of a reader and talker than I was a writer.

In secondary school, in my third year, a junior friend came to me about establishing a press club, we started it together and then, I somewhat got bored and left. My friend later became a journalist.

However, I had already started writing anonymous letters to the school authorities about atrocities committed in the boarding house, in most cases, I revealed my identity, but the culprits were dealt with. I did however, get caught once because my unique style of writing betrayed me to some rascally seniors who I had called punks because of their behaviour.

The salvation in expression

For some reason, I was threatened but never beaten up, I guess they realised I had a superior manner of stating my case in writing that they would get away with nothing. Yes, my writing at play and at work has gotten me out of sticky situations, for well over a generation.

Later, after secondary school, I wrote under the pen name of ‘Who Else’ using a marker pen on A2 sheets and nailed my script to boards at the entrance of the dining room, but after that for years, I never really found an outlet for expression until the medium of blogging became one.

In some years, I have been prolific and in others quite lazy, it saddens me that 2016 might become one of the years in which I wrote less than a hundred blogs. It is not for the want of having something to say, I guess I have been lethargic, restless and bereaved, but the spirit has always been there.

More outlets for thoughts

The blog has not been my only channel of expression, I have Twitter and Facebook forums where the snippet or the comment can just be as profound as the treatise.

My first blog, A cliché too many - Introduction! did broadly set out my aims and goals for blogging, I do not think I have deviated much from that apart from being probably less of a libertarian than I once was, certain elements of personal experience and affliction can teach you some very human lessons.

One is the need to communicate, that is important; because you have to take cognisance of your audience; the other is the need to express the richness of the language.

I celebrate, nevertheless

I doubt if I would be able to repeat the feat of having 35 people write a blog to be published on my blog when I celebrated a decade of blogging, #YourBlogOnMyBlog - A Decade Blogs Backstory.

Every anniversary, I seem to have a commemorative story which is hardly dissimilar to the one I wrote the year before, what I lack in originality for this day, I hope I make up for in still being here when many have come and gone.

I will probably have to call out all those who abandoned their blogs after a period of creative output I do not believe has deserted those fantastic writers, you know who you are.

I hope for and look forward to many more opportunities to celebrate this day, even as I grow more aware of my many human limitations.

Thank you!

Thank you to all of you who have visited my blog, enjoyed my posts, left comments and encouraged me through the pleasant and tough times, I am full of gratitude and thankfulness. May the stories in our blogs of life and experience never cease to interest, arrest, protest and address matters that matter to the one and the many.

I say again, everyone has a story and so has a blog in them, getting writing your story in your own style and voice.

My anniversary blogs

2015 - Celebrating 12 Years of Blogging

2014 - 11 Years of Blogging - The purist is dead, long live the pedant

2013 - How I started blogging 10 years ago - On my decade of blogging

2012 - 9 years of blogging but I forgot

2011 - 8 Years from the First Blog

2010 - Imagine having blogged for 7 years

2009 - 6 Hurrahs to Blogging

2008 - Five years of blogging - Remember the children

2007 - 4 years of blogging - Thanks!

South Africa: On leaving and the goodbyes I sadly didn't get to make

As much and much else

Much as there is still much to write about my just under 2-week visit to South Africa and much as there is a lot of making up to do when I get back home, I have commenced my return leg back home.

The return journey will be from Johannesburg to Cape Town to The Netherlands and then to England, to be completed in just about 30 hours.

Much as I accomplished much of what I came here to do and much as I hardly had a social life for the duration of my stay apart from a moments I caught with friends that I was unable to make happen again. I regret not being able to make time for more engagement, it was just lots of hectic days that at the end of the day your returned and crashed out.

Face up

On checking out at the hotel, I still had credit left that was given to me as change, the clerk at the desk had such as glum disposition that appeared to add insult to injury after all that I had endured in the first week of my stay, I was not disposed to rewarding such sullenness with any generosity and she probably deprived her other colleagues of something too.

The hospitality business is one where being able to man a desk is the first of many qualifications and the unquantifiable parts are a welcoming, smiling, appearing to be helpful, considerate and engaging personality. Get those wrong and having lost the opportunity to make a good first impression, any other impression will be graded on the scale of the failed first attempt that only the extraordinary can attempt at redemption.

I will be visiting this hotel where I stayed for 13 nights on Trip Advisor, I know I will not return to this hotel or any under this chain, nor will I recommend it to anyone visiting Johannesburg, it was my lesson in tolerable endurance.

Thank you

To get to the airport, I had one of three choices, to allow the hotel book one of their exorbitantly priced taxis, get the shuttle to the Gautrain station where I could board the high-speed train to O R Tambo International Airport or hail UberBlack on my phone and have that service get me to the airport. After very little consideration, I went for the third option and had a pleasant ride to the airport.

As I bid Johannesburg farewell and consequently South Africa and Africa at large, this was an experience I was not particularly looking forward to, but when I leant in, it was one I will always remember. Some of the people I met will become great friends, people who made time and space for me welcoming me as guest with honour and respect, I owe much gratitude I cannot fully pay.

I might return to South Africa, I do not know, but my hope and wish for South Africa is and remains with all that I saw - 'Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika'.

Decade Blogs - Roundup V - All the 35 Blogs and Thanks

Thank you

I start by thanking everyone who offered to write a blog for my Decade of Blogging with the Twitter hashtag #YourBlogOnMyBlog. In the end, I had up to 45 possible offers, 35 delivered in sufficient time to allow me to review, edit and schedule the blogs into five weeks of hosted opinion.

I am honoured and at the same time amazed at the breadth of opinion, ideas and content that can come from these blogs; there are many lessons to take away from these shared experiences.

I hope to use some of these ideas in blogs I write through 2014 to highlight the richness in stories that each bears as part of our individuality and uniqueness in the broader scheme of our humanity.

To all who could act, those who had good intentions and the many others who desired but could not be entertained, I express my heartfelt gratitude and thanks. May we all have many more years to celebrate the joys of writing.

I’m still here

This is the final roundup blog for the #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging. A five-week residency of blogs from 35 different people covering all aspects of life and society, from the trivial to the very serious.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

I wrote a few blogs this week, starting with the issue of trivialising rape in off-colour and atrocious jokes online. The comedian soon learnt that whilst he thinks his audience is local to Nigeria, the readership of his stupidity is global, and he got global condemnation.

Blog - Nigeria: From Basketmouth to Basket - Rape has no place in jokes

I probably should write a comprehensive blog on the pursuit of happiness; however, I found Pharrell Williams’ Happy, and I ended up playing back a good deal of the 24-hour video. If we were in sunnier climes, I probably would have gone out dancing in the street.

Blog - Because I'm Happy

On the 19^th of December, 2013, the Finance Minister appeared before the House Committee on Finance and played to the gallery, garnering sympathy from many, until another video appeared to show she was far from saintly or proper in her conduct. This is a view I always held but did not blog about until this video was made public.

Blog - Nigeria: That Finance Minister and House Committee Meeting

It is a prayer and a desire because until now I have acted in haste and suffered in waste long afterwards.

Blog - Thought Picnic: Moderating my decision tree

I have not written about my therapy sessions, and I’ve had a few of those; change is on the way, it sure is.

NAFDAC withdrew all the drugs manufactured by one company nationwide, replacing them with drugs that hopefully will arrest the decline in health brought on by the usage of poorly manufactured drugs.

Some viewpoints

The theme this week is life and perspectives from a hospital ward, gender equality, strikes, persistence, blogging, Twitter and the education emergency in Nigeria.

Here, for your pleasure, are all 5 weeks of Decade Blogs, 35 of them from wonderful people and amazing writers.

To everyone who has honoured me in finding the time to write for #YourBlogOnMyBlog, my thanks and more. I might find the words of appreciation and gratitude, eventually, and they would still not be enough.

Decade Blogs – Week 5

Decade Blogs - Oyedeji Aderemi - Killing Ourselves Softly

Decade Blogs - Jesse Oguntimehin - On Gender Equality

Decade Blogs - Chuba Ezekwesili - The Hidden Costs of University Strikes

Decade Blogs - Kunle Durojaiye - Keep Running!

Decade Blogs - Ayo Sogunro - Gone Blogging, Back Soon

Decade Blogs - Nike Olatunji-Akioye - Twittersphere

Decade Blogs - Seun Fakuade - Groping in the Dark

Decade Blogs – Week 4

Decade Blogs - Dupe Killa - The Broken Ones

Decade Blogs - Kola Akinola - My Friend

Decade Blogs - Chioma Agwuegbo (Chuka) - 10 Years

Decade Blogs - Henry 'O'Jew' Olamiju - Greatness - A Life Waiting Us

Decade Blogs - Olu Ximena - The Trade

Decade Blogs - Editi Effiong - Dear religious people, let's kill all the gay people

Decade Blogs - Saratu Abiola - On Nigeria and Why Writing Matters

Decade Blogs – Week 3

Decade Blogs - Sira Sokari - Writing is the Liberator

Decade Blogs - Abubakar A. Musa - Challenging the humanity in us

Decade Blogs - Japheth J. Omojuwa - The Power of Purpose and Persistence

Decade Blogs - Mister Mobility - Not all those who wander are lost

Decade Blogs - Annie Emmanuel - Loyal To A Fault And Daring To Do

Decade Blogs - Akin Oyebode - How Will You Measure Your Life?

Decade Blogs - Ayo Oyalowo - What exactly are we looking for?

Decade Blogs – Week 2

Decade Blogs - Monike Charles-Binitie - Taking the leap

Decade Blogs - 'Seyi Shimoshi - On Faith, Fiction and Friendship

Decade Blogs - Raymond Inkabi - Ten Years Of Blogging

Decade Blogs - Blossom Nnodim - The Guardians of the Future

Decade Blogs - Pearl Ijeoma Ezeokeke - The Employer Atrocities of She

Decade Blogs - Ikhide R. Ikheloa - This life, London, tribes, and the Internet

Decade Blogs - Bisi Alimi - 10 Years of Blogging

Decade Blogs – Week 1

Decade Blogs - Babatunde Rosanwo - The Market‏

Decade Blogs - Waffarian - Just Another Day

Decade Blogs - Emeka John Okoye - Welding Relations

Decade Blogs - Chikere Ezeh - Exhuming Blogs of Old

Decade Blogs - Nkem Ivara - The Power Of Words

Decade Blogs - Tolu Oloruntoba - Royalties at the end of a river

Decade Blogs - Feyi Fawehinmi - Daddy 2.0

At 48, my health is the greatest present of all

O for a thousand tongues to sing (YouTube)
Words by Charles Wesley [Hymnal][Wikipedia]

Reflection

No day goes by without some reflection and introspection as to how and why I am still here and what a miracle it constantly is to be someone who at diagnosis had only 5 weeks to live in the worst-case scenario and yet is at his 5^th birthday since then. [21^st December]

Such is the magnitude of what gives me the reason to be thankful and full of gratitude to God, to friends, to family, to neighbours, to strangers and even those who have passed from life or acquaintance for without these life would have been meaningless.

Health

Yet, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, buffeted from all sides by adversity, by lack, by penury and by incapacity, but I am unbowed. For the night cannot go on for so long without the dawning of the day, the wonder of the warmth of sunlight and the infusion of life into things that once seemed dead. That is the overwhelming power of hope, of that, I have plenty and more to spare.

Besides, in the midst of what is materially little, I have for myself, the greatest birthday gift that I have come to cherish the more each birthday since 2009, my health. My health is strength, my health is wealth, my health is peace, my health is expectation, my health is desire, my health is adventure, my health is renewal, my health is love and my health is good.

Pursuits

I am a wonder that I exist to express the miracle of the gift I have, that I have never fully put to use, talent that abounds in the realisation of knowing myself better. Moreover, I am less afraid to engage in the pursuit of happiness, of love, of joy and of that someone to have and to hold, yet somewhere and yet unknown.

But, I must celebrate and celebrate I must, giving thanks, for a life so ordinary yet extraordinary, for each day is a blessing and each year the working of kindness, mercy, grace, love and prosperity beyond my wildest dreams favour undeserved, yet available in undiminished and abundant provision and goodwill.

Wow!

To my friends, far and near, seen and virtual, lasting and fleeting, thank you - say a prayer, make a wish, drink to my health, send a message on Twitter, Facebook, email, Skype, a comment on this blog or join me if you can, somewhere in London, to celebrate this day.

For this day and beyond, let there be laughter, let there be fulfilment, let there be dreams come true, let there be wonder to behold, let there be courage to do and let there be stories to be told by no one but ourselves, to ourselves and to others of the wonderful gift of life we all share and enjoy.

Wow! I am Akin and I am 48.

Decade Blogs

As this falls within the time of my celebrating a Decade of Blogging, I have listed below, all the birthday blogs I have written since I started blogging. 2009 is probably one of the ones that gives everything perspective. Enjoy!

2012 - My own history began on the 21st of December, 1965

2011 - The day after 46 with gratitude

2010 - Having a sense of fun at 45

2009 - 44 Reasons to give thanks – A must read.

2008 - Four before three, I am 43 today!

2007 - Six Sevens are ...

2006 - Two Score & One - on the shortest day

2005 - Life begins again with 40 refreshing breaths

2004 - 39 Steps

2003 - Birthdays - A lot more people were involved

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

How I started blogging 10 years ago - On my decade of blogging

I hated writing

When I was in primary school, I was a voracious reader but I hated writing, it felt like a tortuous exercise as bad as my visit to the dentist when drills were like pneumatic hammers, to fix the badly chipped teeth I acquired as a result of misadventure.

Blog - Childhood: Defanged by Misadventure

I remember the first serious essay I wrote was about our class 4 excursion to the National Veterinary Research Institute at Vom, it was interminable with minutiae that left the teacher flustered; it was down to the detail of flies on the hides of sows in the piggery, I had recorded a film in words.

When it came to examinations, my dislike for writing was most evident, I wrote the shortest answers, used the least amount of paper, and I was out of the examination hall just a little over half the allotted time for the examination.

It grew on me

It was later in secondary school that first, a writing competition where I won the second prize and the interest in forming a press club kindled seeing the value of expressing my thoughts in writing beyond the articulacy of my speech.

However, I did not do much writing; I did more song writing and eventually gave my album of about 30 songs freely to a group that believed they were going somewhere, because I simply had no need for the material again.

I was up to lots of mischief in from late secondary school into my political polytechnic days, writing under the pseudonyms of Philip Bucknor of the Bucknor & Bucknor Chambers of Inquiry along with my partner Larry Bucknor and Who Else later on.

Bad investigations got many others in trouble as we railed against abuse, everywhere we were with threat and much else to call people to order, though once I was on the verge of getting a very serious beating but I was spared.

Finding a platform

About 11 years ago, I used emails to friends to write about my life and many other issues with a religious slant; it probably ended up in their junk mail boxes as each day brought my nuisance to them; it was not sophisticated at all.

Then on a long weekend holiday to Berlin, having heard about the new phenomenon of blogging over the previous months, I found a little hosting company in Scotland called Blog-City and I penned my first blog on the 8^th of December 2003.

Blog - A cliché too many - Introduction!

Blog-City is now defunct, but it was a labour of love moving almost 1,500 blogs to its current location at http://akinblog.nl.

Blog - Brick by heavy brick

Thanks

Ten years down the line with over 2,200 blogs of stories, opinions, tales and silliness, I find I have a body of amazing work that I can be very proud of.

And so goes the tale of how I got into writing and how it has become a way of life, of expression, a form of therapy and a joy of fulfilment. Yet, as I write, I know there are many more stories seeking the right level of inspiration and drive to be written – a book, they say, I must write, eventually.

I express my deepest gratitude to the many readers, browsers, commenters and sharers who have come to my blog and found something to interest, inform, annoy or infuriate them – I would not have it any other way.

To the next decade of useful writing, let the fun begin.

Through the years

Blog - 9 years of blogging but I forgot

Blog - 8 Years from the First Blog

Blog - Imagine having blogged for 7 years

Blog - 6 Hurrahs to Blogging

Blog - Five years of blogging - Remember the children

Blog - 4 years of blogging - Thanks!

Blog - Read My Blog Themes

Ten years of terminating the terminal with thanks

The news

He was prepared for what the news might be, which for many is sad and terrifying, he was ready to receive the truth and look ahead of what it really meant.

A strange situation for two weeks before the tests were conducted and they needed another week to really confirm those results.

That has become the significance of September the 20^th for as long as he can remember, it marked an opening, a birth and now this.

Reactions of many

He could see tears of concern, maybe sympathy or even pity in the eyes of the bringer of the news and he talked of the issues this kind of news brings.

Anger, despair, denial, blame, depression and whatever else that followed the negative decline of self to nonentity but he heard and then spoke asking, whatever happened to hope.

There are many things to hope for starting with the news not immediately destroying you to miracles which could be far off but there is much else that life offers that the news of something terminal should not necessarily terminate.

Things can get harder, trials might get tougher, losses do get bigger but hope takes you beyond the limitations imposed by circumstances to possibilities beyond what one could ever wish for.

Lift up and thank

Now, the Grim Reaper has harvested many afflicted but not without a fighting chance and today marks for that man, 10 years ago he was told the Grim Reaper beckons by reason of that news but that has been 10 years of living life to the full like there is no tomorrow just as if again there will be many more tomorrows to fill another 10 years.

The news must never been the end, it must be the beginning of a new acceptance, a new life, a new hope and living like the living rather than dying daily as if one were the walking dead.

To his friends, his well-wishers and many more who have come and stayed as well as those who have come and gone. He is thankful, grateful and happy. To those who can – lift up your heads and thank God too. 

Thought Picnic: We cry in the eyes of goodness

A friend in the way

For probably 5 or 6 years he has stood at the entrance of the supermarket on the ground floor of my apartment block, sometimes dishevelled but with an easy disposition, friendly and amiably from the first time I saw him my heart just melted.

He sells magazines apparently priced to help the homeless, I have never really seen anyone buy a magazine off him, but he stands, greets and never begs or forces his wares on passers-by – on occasion someone has struck up a conversation with him.

Pass the Dutchie

The magazines are in Dutch and my grasp of Dutch is elevated to the level of Double-Dutch such that I could well read most of what I see but never get the context right – Dutch has a way of reusing the same words and ending up with completely different meanings, I am always stumped.

The other day, I wanted a steak, the Dutch menu happily announced kogelbiefstuk – the biefstuk part I got as beef steak but the kogel I know is bullet, as my brain went into overdrive as to how on earth bullets will end up in a beef steak and get presented as food, I dared to give voice to my confusion – how bullets and rump correlate is beyond me – I stopped wasting brain power on it and found that rump and round are used interchangeably for the same kind of steak – so I ordered my rounds of bullet-steak medium-rare and carried on with my life.

Plenty and little

In any case, my friend, yes, I will call him friend because I have chatted to him a few times, learnt of his birthday, found out how his circumstances were changing for him to get his place, his hopes, not necessarily desires but he was a man I knew had many needs that selling the magazines will not meet.

In the years of plenty, I easily parted with a €50 note each time I went shopping and saw him, though it did occur to me that for whatever immediate needs he might have, it would have been better to break it down into smaller denominations.

Then years of famine came where even I had very little, there were times when I only had a meal a day and for a person surviving cancer and on medication, it was dire, difficult and hard, but my friend in my heart seemed to still have greater needs than I, he must have noticed that what I parted with was a lot smaller, I sometimes prayed he would not be at the entrance to the supermarket because I had so little and literally nothing to spare, I could not face him with my situation but I believe he understood that if I did have to give, I would definitely share.

An opportunity to share

Today, I visited the supermarket again and he was there, I had not seen him for a while, I warmly greeted him and went about my shopping, I also consciously wanted to give him something even though I do not have that much.

I cannot say how many hours he had spent standing there but I have even in my own life learnt so well that there is someone out there concerned, involved, engaged and empathetic about me, none of which I can explain than to be grateful and thankful that the most desperate situations just seem to have amazing solutions wending their way towards me.

So, I palmed some money to him, we seem to have developed to concealed exchange which was good enough for me and then I told him I am leaving Amsterdam for good - again, maybe he put two and two together, I cannot say but there was a quick expression of two emotions I did not miss, one of sadness as to why I had to leave and one of thankfulness for what we have shared – his voice trembled as he just about stopped himself from crying.

Floods of kindness

He grabbed my hand and shook it very warmly, wishing me well with whatever I go on to do. At the same time, I saw myself in him, in great need, almost desperate, almost destitute but always blessed for the people who cross my path with gifts, grace, favour and much more – I have many a time been lost for words as I have been overwhelmed with amazing goodness from other people.

It is like when I am at my wit’s end I begin to experience a flood of kindness that I am fully aware that nothing I could have done could have created what makes me smile, laugh, cry and give thanks – there is love in this world beyond compare and people who just give, give and give to give hope, to give happiness, to give joy, to give peace and to meet somewhat insurmountable needs.

Today, I learnt anew, the joy of giving and the joy of receiving all at the same time and because of the way some things work I believe that someone somewhere will fill in the gap created by my absence because my friend has an angel just as I do.

Thought Picnic: Thoughts of Thankfulness

A loneness and togetherness

There are times I have been threatened with the idea that I am alone and lonely in the things that I have seen and experienced.

Of a truth, in the realms that we majorly interact in, there are many that have suffered the privations and loneliness that I have encountered but few who can say they have through it all been blessed, small or large when things did not look like they could get any better.

Thankful always

For all the stories I can muster the strength to tell, the greatest is of thankfulness for the mercies I have received, the friendships that have come to the rescue when things were so dire and the life that has survived and thrived against all odds.

Gloomy as some days seem, there is a resilience I cannot explain and an assuredness that trumps all circumstances that says all that is contrary will pass and that which is of goodness will come.

Suddenly, great respite

God knows, there are things that I would rather have suddenly and come up with certainty but time is an elastic variable, when it is due, it will not shift, not for a second.

For those who have little and out of that have given much your brotherly love is greatly appreciated, I am grateful beyond words can express.

Thank you for reaching out and lifting me up.

Thought Picnic: Where there is life

The life we see

Sometimes, it looks like staring into the abyss, every road seems to have a road block, every idea seems to be fully disputed before it is voiced as a thought and you strive doing everything you know how as if to no avail.

The world with its demands and desires is completely oblivious of you, you are a name and an address; never a person always expected to answer calls, respond to inquiry and react to threats but it is unwilling to appreciate where you are.

You rise

Yet, within you lies strength you can never fully account for but you know that this vivid nightmare cannot go on forever; day always follows night and there is always a waking moment though perception will suggest the night is longer than it has ever been.

Mistake, mishap, misfortune have crowded at your till to pay for the goods, the comfort they have come to relieve you off but a fight within you says you will not be bereft of the solutions you desire.

Maybe you believe, maybe you do not, but someone somewhere is praying for you wishing you well and bearing the burdens you think you alone have borne – you cannot afford to despair, you cannot entertain disappointment for too long and discouragement should pass by long before it has had time to drop its unseemly baggage.

Breaking out and breaking through

You feel overwhelmed and at the same time you believe you will not only survive but thrive as a whole set of good circumstances that at one time seemed completely divergent and unrelated suddenly begin to form a new kind of amazing reality that you can only be thankful for.

As so on Tuesday, for a job I never sought, for pay I could not demand and for a trajectory I could not envisage but was offered the free encouragement of a willing mentor I start to help an organisation I once worked for implement change as a change comes to my circumstances.

The journey still looks long and difficult, threats that have been promises exacted and others that loom but I have always known one thing; where there is life, there is hope; where there is faith, there is possibility and where there is love, it conquers all.

Having a sense of fun at 45

Giving thanks a year on

I just read a blog I wrote exactly a year ago and realised that much had changed to that time and much more had changed today.

A new day of reckoning has come, one in which to offer gratitude as a year of long days, which had longer hours and the longest seconds, has past like it was just yesterday.

I write giving thanks to God, to my ever amazing neighbours, to the ever considerate medical staff, to my ever sustaining friends far and near, to my ever supporting family and relations and my ever expanding network of colleagues, acquaintances and what do you call that Internet-based list of the many people who have given, commented, elicited and sometimes abused me on my blogs, Facebook or Twitter?

You all gave me strength, helped my will to live, given me scope to express the joy of living and much more that words fail me in expressing.

An imp colouring my beard

And to what do we owe this day of thankfulness than to the fact that another bleak winter day like the one in 1965 has come again and lo and behold, hardly in a manger and not expecting wise men because it is too foggy to see a guiding star, the boy is 45.

I allowed myself to go unshaven the other day and noticed in my sleep someone had been colouring each strand of hair of my growing beard grey, mischievous imp, wait till I catch him.

I have moved into that bracket of age-based surveys that allow you to tick the box 45-54, I am going to enjoy it as I contact those many others I share this day with, Rachel, Rosalie, Jan and not forgetting Marie of fond and blessed memory.

On this day

Many things have happened on this day as far back as history can record the year of four Roman emperors, the fourth being crowned on this day in 69 AD; and if you have ever been stuck in a crossword puzzle, the first was published in the New York World in 1913; Apollo 8 took off with the first manned mission to the moon in 1968 and sadly a bomb went off on a plane over Lockerbie in Scotland 1988.

An interesting day to be welcomed to earth and you can see what else happened on this day for your entertainment since many would be not be here to share my wonderful day with me for all sorts of reasons.

Thanks and I love you all, you all make my life such a wonderful living story. Did I just take a call from my mum at 2:51AM? Yes, we are that peculiar and have fun too.

In hospital a year on

That day last year

It was the fourth Tuesday of September 2009 when I went in for an appointment at the Internal Medicine Department of OLVG (Our Lady of Apostles Hospital), I was in excruciating pain quite unaware that I was so close to death if I had picked up an infection that touched my lungs.

The consultant had one look at my sole and another at me and told me there was a bed prepared for me upstairs, I was in no condition be left without round-the-clock monitoring.

There began my road to recovery which culminated in a diagnosis of skin cancer 9 days later, my first session of chemotherapy after 13 days and my return home on the 18^th day.

This day this year

Today, the third Tuesday of September 2010 and the eve of that day in September 2009, I returned for what was essentially an annual check-up after the November, February and May, what a journey it has been.

My consultant was pleased to see me, complimented my dressing once again and we settled down to the detail of the progress of my treatment and recovery.

My blood pressure was good, the level of Vitamin D had improved dramatically, other indicators with my liver functions and so on were fine too. I was not aware that I was anaemic in December, I suppose the doctor releases only so much information to avoid worry and concern that my impact on the recuperation process.

My weight has now gone from the lowest measurement of 64kg in October to 80kg which he felt was encouraging though I probably need to get some exercise to avoid the Michelin Man modelling of my body.

The pills remain

The matter of the immune system was still of concern, despite all other indicators looking good, there has been a slight dip but I have been told it takes time for it to strengthen appreciably.

So, I remain on the same medication I started on in May with the need to monitor the psychological effects of it and as far as my feet are concerned, they both look quite well healed.

I returned the excess medication I had from the discontinuance in May and I learnt it was better to give this to the hospital than the pharmacy, since the former would find good causes to donate the medicines to and the latter would destroy the stuff on the premise that they cannot prove the medicines were adequately stored.

Thanks to all

I am still most grateful and thankful for the wonders of medicine, the expertise of the consultants, the care of the nurses, the compassion of family, friends and neighbours, support of well-wishers and tender mercies of God that have seen me through some of the most trying times of my whole life – I cannot be thankful enough.

However, my Treatment Advisor still wants me to take things easy and not embark of any large-scale projects for at least another 6 months – here, the mind is urgent but the body needs times, I hope I strike the balance between them all.

Next check-up – December.