An alarm at dawn
What a day it was in
which it has been difficult to collect my thoughts and reflect on life as a
transient. I woke up to the alarm that is both a sound from my mobile phone and
the vibrating wristband tracker, it cannot be ignored and that is at 6:05 AM.
I wake up that early
with the hope that I can get in 10 to 12 kilometres of brisk walking before I start
work, it fulfils my 10,000 steps and a bit more. That is what I had done, and I
was on the home straight with just about a kilometre to get home, when my phone
started ringing.
As my wristband was
not vibrating, it had to be a WhatsApp call, that early, what could be the
matter? I saw it was my brother, my middle half-brother and thought we were to
continue a conversation we started some days before. I had planned to get a
mobile phone for my stepmother and he was going to do some research and get
back to me.
Catching up to
history
Meanwhile, my
stepmother, a young 56 celebrated her birthday on Saturday, we did not get to
chat about her birthday until Sunday evening, but I had sent a message to her
to congratulate her. Her voice was a bit hoarse and I advised just as I had a
few weeks before that she takes some honey to soothe her throat, it was a jocular
conversation, we laughed and bantered, wishing each other well.
The conversation I
had with my brother the day after related to the mobile phone acquisition, he
wanted to touch and feel the phone rather than order it online. He was going to
tackle some legal matters the next day at a place that brought some history
into view. It was then I learnt that my stepmother and my father met in that
town when she was a student at a technical college. Pieces of a backstory were
being cobbled together over the last few days, I was listening, learning, and
understanding.
Opinions in broad
daylight
The union bore some
handsome sons, literal carbon copies of my father in his much younger days. It
was fraught with issues and problems, everyone with their viewpoints. A marriage
encumbered by strife cannot necessarily be the fault of just one. Without bias,
I will suggest my father can be the most reasonable person and at another time
utterly and implacably unreasonable. I appreciate that my opinion will not be a
shared perspective, but at this time, I will not point fingers.
I never met my
stepmother, I heard a lot about her, we were introduced on the phone over a
decade ago by my father, almost 20 years into their marriage. I maintained a
respectful and pragmatic conversation with her and extended my conversation then to
my half-siblings without meaningful engagement.
We talked and laughed
Over the years, we
built a rapport, and I did find a more fruitful engagement with my second
half-sibling. He became the conduit for conversation and communication. My
resolution is my half-siblings are very much part of my family regardless of
the historical issues and the estrangement between my father and my stepmother.
There is a core
responsibility to maintain cordial, friendly and brotherly relations in spite
of and despite our parents, I am wedded to that principle, God give me
strength.
Now, she’s gone
None of this could
have prepared me for what I heard from the other end of the phone, a neighbourly
misunderstanding, some agitation, apparently a fainting spell, possibly a
collapse, an attempt at resuscitation, but no, all to no avail, my stepmother
was no more. The shocking suddenness of it all was like a body blow. I was near
St. Peter Square as I sank unto a bench and keeled over, this could not be
happening, but it had already happened, a life full of hope and promise had
been handed over to the dreams and aspirations of her children.
I could not begin to
imagine the palpable sense of grief and sadness that had enveloped my brothers
as I began to inform people who knew her and understand what needs to be done.
She was interred according to Muslim rites and what we now have to do is
embrace our brothers, celebrate her life and look to the future with the hope
that dreams and aspirations come true. May the gentle soul of Dasola Akintayo
rest in peace.