Monday, 4 June 2012

Thought Picnic: Rehab needed for life


The tough road
I am beginning to think we need a new kind of rehab, the rehabilitation of self in such a way that you able to tread the path of reinventing yourself without too much difficulty.
One thing I have realised about myself is the radical way cancer changed me in terms of health, wealth, outlook, prospect and I dare say, self-confidence.
One cannot begin to list the many things one has lost by reason of the onset of illness and having battled and won over illness how the road back to life, living and earning a living has been fraught with difficulty, uncertainty, doubt and a sense of timidity.
This is not the man that was some 4 years ago when ability and projection were at their peak with purposefulness and determination.
Re-something
I cannot allow myself to believe I have run out of ideas but the ideas I seem to have are not working the way they used to and that means I need new ideas, some help, probably a place to meditate and a new perspective to life and livelihood.
Some 12 years ago, I got some interesting help when an occupational psychotherapist suggested I was suffering a mid-life crisis 10 years early. It appears I have now reached mid-life and the crisis has been compounded by adversity.
Surely, there must be some sort of service that deals with this issue before one becomes listless, aimless, clueless, careless, powerless and tired.
I have never been one to throw in the towel, I have continued to do what I know best, albeit not with as much fervour, I have been weakened and sapped but I am not exhausted and will not expire, if I died fighting, I will hope whatever memory is left of me includes the conclusion, he did what he knew best – God rest his soul.

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Thought Picnic: Good Religious Observance is Always Accompanied by Common-Sense

Sights of London
This afternoon as I sat observing Londoners I saw something worth commenting about and if I expected the tweet to go unnoticed, I failed in that mission.
I robustly engaged all commentary and I have decided it is an issue that should be blogged.
With a number of #SightsOfLondon hash tags I tweeted:
#SightsOfLondon It's 26 degrees and you are in a black hijab. Diagnosis: Heatstroke brought on by religious stupidity.
Immediately after I posted this I was told my comments were inappropriate and that I was ignorant of the subject.
This was one area where I was not ready to back down to insouciance because of the many things that were clearly in that tweet that the reactions missed out of a lack of comprehension first, an inability to contextualise commentary and thin-skinned feeble-mindedness.
The context
The setting is this – the weather, it was hot and humid, without a wind, literally every was dressed lightly, I did not see any extremes of undress of exposure, but people were dressed to ensure they did not overheat, probably dehydrate and possibly suffer heatstroke.
The verdict in terms of diagnosis what I anticipated the possibility that if she was dressed and completely covered in black, the body will not be allowed the opportunity to dissipate heat and hence cool down bringing on heatstroke – if she did suffer heatstroke, one would expect that emergency services and doctors will come to an easy conclusion, but that was from my tweet a future possibility much as she might well never suffer heatstroke for all sorts of extenuating circumstances.
What my tweet did not say was that hijabs were bad and the completeness of my tweet made a clear reference to colour.
Common-sense: The missing piece
Then to address the other surrounding issues in terms of the reactions, I have no problems with people following some religious creed or diktat, it is a matter of conscience but even religious matters require the use of common-sense, that is what we have our intellect for, to be able to reason and make smart decisions in relation to our faiths.
The hijab allows for wearers to express outward modesty and chastity but it should not be at the expense of their well-being and comfort because that will be foolish – I can see no reason why that should excite argument apart from fundamentalist fanaticism that sacrifices every God-given ability to reason for a blind adherence to letter that has not spirit of recognising basic human circumstances, needs and situations – reason allows us to adapt – in very hot and humid weather, sure reasoning would have been expressed in wearing a hijab of light clothing and light colours.
The disabling power of ignorance
It is the same lack of reasoning in the application of religious views that had the Catholic Church in Brazil opposing the abortion of the pregnancy of a nine-year old girl where doctors had clear said she could not bring the pregnancy to term and the risk of loss of life to the girl and the foetus was very likely.
The parents were pragmatic and sensible enough to allow for the pregnancy to be terminated to save their nine-year old daughter than to risk the loss of their known daughter and completely unknown prospective grandchild. Sadly, they were ex-communicated.
The same can be said of the Mohammedan cartoon controversy where people were killing themselves in faraway lands for depictions that could never be true and they should have better not to accept considering the artists were not even adherents of the faith.
Feeble sensibilities
I am saddened that feeble sensibilities, ignorance and the wiliness to be easily offended to the extent of causing oneself undue and unnecessary stress over matters that are particular and easily irrelevant is stifling good discussion but if we allow a latitude of tolerance in our outlooks we gain the opportunity to show that our religion is not driven by fanatical observance to the exclusion of our faculties one will usually expect this of the supposedly better informed.
From time immemorial, religious practices of all faiths have been praised, debated, questioned, condemned, excoriated, blamed or ridiculed – it will not stop today and if the affected are not ready to cast off subjective assessments of the issues and they succumb to the disabling influence of sentiment that negates the use of their intellect and common-sense, they will invariably be hurt and the higher moral ground with be yielded to those who challenge the practices.
Worse still, their reactions might well take what has been questioned into the realm of the bizarre, the outlandish and outrageous bringing even more opprobrium on the matter.
In closing my argument, the tweet was written to a very particular situation and observation but it got blown up into a generalisation by the reactions that it would have been within my rights to take serious offence for the fact that the readers lacked understanding of my tweet and their comprehension of the whole context was wanting – on the other issues of fundamentalism, fanaticism and the use of intellect – the blog speaks for itself.

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Thought Picnic: My Virtual Friends Are NOT Insignificant


Yes I will
Recently, I got involved in a Facebook conversation that was inspired by an article published in the Guardian titled, Should one attend the funeral of a 'virtual friend'? | Edward Collier.
The writer had found out that someone he enjoyed interacting with by reason of their mutual love of cricket had passed on. He shared how their virtual friendship had developed, his liking for his friend and the fact that he will definitely miss his friend before erring on the side of caution and his perception of social mores in deciding that he will not attend such a funeral.
I read the views expressed on the shared Facebook status and then added mine that appears below.
Virtual but not insignificant
There are many friends I have made online that I would definitely want to meet and if sadly I learnt of their passing and found that all that knew my friend were invited to attend the wake, the funeral or some memorial service, I will be there to pay my respects.
Through blogging for almost 9 years, on Twitter for 3 years and now on Facebook for over 2 years, I have connected with people who have gone the extra mile with me especially when I wrote from hospital almost 3 years ago that I had cancer and other struggles post-cancer - I got notices of support, flowers, visits, money and much more from so-called virtual friends.
Virtual they might seem but hardly insignificant, social media just provides another channel of interaction and we have to begin to recognise that it might not conform to traditional roles and norms of friendship but we relate, we communicate and some aspect of life is done with these people - just like with typical friendships, depending on depth of relationship, I will attend and hope that I have made a similar impact on them too to be willing to attend my funeral too.
Be touched and make real friends
There probably is not much else to add to this comment apart from stressing that my virtual friends are not insignificant, I have met quite a few people who started off as virtual friends and besides, I have made other friends through these virtual friends and established bonds of affinity that are just as enduring as those of traditional friendships.
It is important that we realise like I said in my comment that new ways of interaction will create new interrelationships that we can develop, grow and nurture. I believe we will be poorer for it if all we think are good friends are only the people we have physically met whilst at the same time we have literally poured our lives, our time and every valuable resource online into virtual friends and failed to make those beneficial and worthwhile.
On the strength of my comment, I made a new friend, on Facebook, we touch each other with every expression of our lives and we are enriched by actual, virtual or incidental friends. In other words, make the best of whoever you encounter and you can be assured of the best of friendships. That is my story.