The Two Gospel Writers Who Were Not Apostles

Questioning What We Assume

The search for knowledge must never cease, but more critically, we must question the assumptions we once held as true without ever examining them, until new information challenges a viewpoint we never thought was in dispute.

Last night, I found myself at the end of an interesting discovery. Although I know a great deal about the Bible, in theory, by osmosis, through tradition, and sometimes through an application that makes the reality of God and the salvation of Jesus Christ the most heartwarming experience of my faith, I remain just as ignorant of some fundamentals.

The Twelve Apostles

¹³ At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles. Here are their names:

¹⁴ Simon (whom he named Peter),
Andrew (Peter’s brother),
James,
John,
Philip,
Bartholomew,

¹⁵ Matthew,
Thomas,
James (son of Alphaeus),
Simon (who was called the zealot),

¹⁶ Judas (son of James),
Judas Iscariot (who later betrayed him).
[Luke 6:13-16, reference Matthew 10:1-4]

There are four gospels of the Lord Jesus Christ, attributed to the named authors in the Bible and traditionally accepted to have been written in the order of Mark, Matthew, Luke, and John, between AD 66 and 110. Luke also wrote the Acts of the Apostles. [Wikipedia: Life of Jesus]

An Overlooked Detail

What I never bothered to check, and what you, the reader, might already know, is that Mark and Luke are not in the list of apostles. They were not apostles at all. Luke was known as the physician who travelled with Paul the Apostle, and Mark is mentioned too. [Colossians 4:14, Philemon 23-24]

This is not an exposition of the facts, which have been dealt with extensively and with a scholarly and academic expertise I cannot expect to match. The theological debates belong elsewhere.

A Discovery Worth Sharing

This is, however, a note in my journal and an introduction to a YouTube channel I discovered a few months ago, Deep Made Simple. Its short videos, which deal with topical elements in the scriptures, have brought me insight and enlightenment I cannot keep to myself. The video "The Gospel of Luke: Why a Doctor Wrote the Bible’s Longest Book " had me scrambling for information.

The shock, the realisation, the quest for more knowledge: the small hours of the morning crept upon me as I listened to the video again before playing back the dramatised New Living Translation of the gospel. [Google Play: NLT Bible with Audio]

Luke could have been a gentile, and he was indeed a journalist, a correspondent, and a meticulous historian.

One last thing, I was on YouTube that I learnt to recall the Ten Commandments by counting fingers and hand signals, in 5 minutes.

Note: All Biblical references are taken from the Bible Gateway.

Luke's Place in Scripture

The Gospel according to Luke is not the longest book in the Bible; by English word count, that distinction belongs to the book of the prophet Jeremiah.

However, the gospel is the longest book in the New Testament, and taken together with the Acts of the Apostles, Luke would have contributed more to the standard Bible, in English word count, than any writer except Moses.

Patterns of Truth: Why Are Mark and Luke Not Named as Disciples?

A Google NotebookLM AI Podcast on this blog

Thought Picnic: When the truth you think it is, is not the truth at all

Dangerous Navel Gazing

We should be cautious of the sort of persecution complex that tends to give credibility solely to our own viewpoint and narrative about matters involving others.

I read a narrative at the start of the week that nearly made me snigger as I shook my head, because, although it was believed by the narrator, the truth was a considerable distance from where they were.

However, to resolve this issue, we need a proper sit-down to talk and an open mind to listen to what the other has to say, considering the facts, their perspective, and their experience.

Our prospective interlocutor lacks the emotional self-control needed for such a discussion. The level of self-absorbed self-indulgence makes that conversation almost impossible; those who have attempted it have been left utterly exasperated.

Breaking free and moving on

Amid a growing trail of unresolved conflicts, parental interference, and sibling rivalries, coupled with a tendency to seek refuge in victimhood without examining where one might have been at fault, it becomes a rather daunting task.

As it stands, everyone engages out of goodwill and good nature because that is the only fallback—apart from completely extricating oneself from the process—and that is what I resorted to, as the bond of trust had been utterly broken beyond repair.

Some might see this as making a mountain out of a molehill, and that’s fine with them, but if you lack the courage of your own convictions, then where does your conscience fit in, if you can be persuaded against your will to do things merely to satisfy others? As this line of thinking led to a conversation being aborted and not resumed, that inclination has not been compelling.

Your narrative is not the full story

To be accused of stabbing another in the back is to level a charge of treachery and betrayal, none of which was evident beyond egotistical entitlement conveyed with deft miscommunication bordering on disrespect.

The person claiming to be a victim was never genuinely one; yet, when allowed emotional blackmail, it was deployed, but I refused to be baited. The tendency for public lamentation with their version of the truth requires a wary reading.

We did not have another conversation afterwards. I gracefully excused myself to tend to my physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Other responsibilities faded into the background.

I am pleased that all proceedings went smoothly, based on the feedback I received without participating in any way. The knowledge that everyone will find their level and support, regardless of involvement, is also reassuring.

In conclusion, just because you possess a narrative does not mean you hold the full story, if viewed from all sides and exhausted through mutual discussions rooted in respect for one another. The truth is somewhere, but rarely in the loudest talker’s mouth.

Barabbas trumpets a Golden Age

A day of two commemorations

Considering that I seem to observe events, it would have been remiss not to have noticed yesterday's activities; the unfortunate propinquity of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and the inauguration of an American president. It was totally missable (a word rarely used) and redolent of something to be disregarded.

If anything, it was so totally predictable; someone undeserving of it was accorded the respect and courtesy of being peacefully handed the reins of power that he stroppily refused to do out of a total lack of decorum, at the last inauguration. I guess this already sets the tone for how this blog will go. [The Guardian: Trump says he won’t attend Biden’s inauguration]

The humour in a travesty

As the event would pervade the airwaves, it was impossible to ignore, I had a news blackout and decided anything about it was best viewed through the prism of how the night talk shows depict the events of the day. Like I have handled cancer with humour rather than despair, this was to be seen through the prism of humour before despondency sets in.

At the swearing-in, which was to be hand on the Bibles held by his spouse, at least two talk shows suggested, since the inauguration was moved indoors, the fire services had refused the bibles be touched by the president to avoid a conflagration of the Capitol. We could well assume either the person or the book would burst into flames if they came in contact. Outside, the freezing cold might have extinguished any point of ignition.

The silhouette figure of his spouse cum black chapeau with a wide brim created an air gap to the intended public intimacy between man and wife that did not escape the amusement of a global audience. Many other things were said that require no repetition. Barabbas of the modern age is quite different from the one gambled on by Pontius Pilate who only had a history, this one will have a future that many might view with trepidation.

Blog - Give us Barabbas!

Blog - It is well with my soul

Winding back a century in time?

The full personification of felonious Barabbas came with the pardons granted to the mobs involved in the invasion and insurrection at the Capitol on the 6th of January 2021.

A rash of Executive Orders followed, and a new era of American exceptionalism and isolationism has begun. Leaving the WHO and some predicated on the America First notion. Why it has not reversed straight into the Prohibition era of a century ago escapes me as that would be the Golden Age being sought before it was snatched away by the Great Depression. History will repeat itself as a risible farce and that is not a prophecy. [Wikipedia: Roaring Twenties] [The White House: Presidential Actions]

We shall not be moved

We in a broader sense would refuse to be affected or impacted by the expected dysfunction of that place, while adopting a perspective that should exhibit surprise and mirth. His predecessor bought himself a life of peaceful retirement without regret by the pre-emptive pardons of relations and others in the gunsights of a vengeful kakistocracy.

Lest anyone be deceived, the tech plutocrats of this incoming oligarchy had the front seats, this will not be the government of the people, for the people, by the people, but who wants to listen to the truth when the lies appeal so well to our basest instincts?

Life will go on; most of us survived the first time, as we, and Americans especially, forgot those who did not, because of the heartless incompetence of managing the global pandemic then. We have mostly climbed down the peak of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs towards its base; which is why every similitude of Barabbas in democracies worldwide is chosen over a better person. The day after is a time for reflection and anticipation.

Thought Picnic: Phantoms, realities, or truths

Hitting turbulence and getting bruised

Presented with a situation, a study of your reaction may determine so many things and the eventual outcomes. What the five senses perceive will suggest our grounded and lifelong taught appreciation of our reality.

Yet, that reality might not be the truth, because everything we need to know and understand about the situation may not have been fully reconciled. We battle, in an instant with current information that sends our thoughts racing haywire, like hitting severe turbulence without being strapped in your seat.

How can we have our seat belts of life fastened at all times so that regardless of the turbulences we encounter in our varied journeys, we are unperturbed and unbothered, but steadfast and sure that a momentary or extended unsettling experience will not be definitive of our report?

Reining in turbulent thoughts

It is quite a saving grace that we are the only witnesses to the things that go on in our heads. The questions, even the equations, along with the evaluations, and absurd calculations could render you impotent. [BibleHub: Matthew 6:31]

We can choose to be stricken with fear and submit to the turmoil that surrounds us in helplessness and torment or be strengthened with faith that what we perceive is temporal because we are grounded by God's own perspective of the situation revealed to us. [BibleHub: 1 John 4:18, 2 Corinthians 4:18]

We are too used to close shaves, daring escapes, and heaving that sigh of relief, as objects of fate and occasional good fortune rather than as believing expositors of calling our world into being. [BibleHub: Ephesians 2:12, Hebrews 11:3]

I sometimes wonder if I have ever truly believed for the things I have desired. My instant reaction, like I had before I wrote this blog and later realised was a phantom because the process of reconciliation of accounts had not been completed would suggest otherwise. [BibleHub: Mark 11:24]

From the turbulent to the triumphant

Learning to recalibrate my frame of reference through the renewing of my mind is sometimes the hardest personal pursuit as it involves unlearning practice, tradition, credo, culture, habit, and things once held true. It is a process of transformation that leads to a place of peace in the spirit, rest in the mind, and health in the body. [BibleHub: Romans 12:2]

I intend to win at this and win triumphantly, it is a matter of life and death, let God be true and every man, no matter the news, verdict, or opinions they bring, be a liar. [BibleHub: 2 Corinthians 2:14, Romans 3:4]

Thought Picnic: Choose your travel companions carefully

Sharing with the caring

Choose your travel companions carefully, they are usually rarely blood-related but the bonding that grows between you gives a daring sense of adventure that you won’t wish for another to share the experience.

The journeys you venture on in life come with perils and triumphs, you must think about who would support and succour you first in the wilderness and long before you get to the city comforts that mask the true nature of your company.

Know the wolf cries

Fairweather friends are many, feigning interest, love, and engagement, sometimes our discernment and the ability to be a judge of character deserts us and in the process, we face unexpected betrayal and hurt. To know the signs early is to be blessed beyond measure.

When you are following someone, do not follow them too close so that you cannot cut yourself loose when they are determined to end up in a ditch. You do not have to be collateral out of blind loyalty. Fall because of your misstep rather than out of using another’s eyes.

Know the person indeed

If your friends are your relations, you are probably lucky, in every case. judge a person on their own character and integrity and avoid allowing the corporate trust in an environment of allegiances like a place of worship, business, or a club to vouch for your association. Many have had their fingers burnt in being taken advantage of by malevolent people covered by community settings.

Be wary of sycophancy or bias, take the compliments and test the sincerity of anything that attempts to puff you up, between friends, honesty, frankness, openness, and bluntness does crucially matter. You need to know who would pull you out of the fire. They will always stand with you yet will not let you get away with bad behaviour. We all need accountability partners, cherish them with love, honour and respect.

Choose your travel companions wisely, that can be the difference between getting to your destination or perishing along the way.

Thought Picnic: My strength in faith over adversity

And so I learnt

It was information I was already privy to due to indiscretions and the mismanagement of information from departments first and then blamed on computer systems. I suppose, unlike my first encounter with this experience, I was not going to approach it with denial and allow it to take hold to the point of a life-threatening emergency.

At the same time, I contacted the hospital to remonstrate the unfortunate abuse of process, someone should have been proofreading and assessing any communication before the send button was pressed.

I got an apologetic call from the doctor with the offer to have the said indication redacted. Well, how helpful is erasing information you have already read when you are not living in the reality of a “Men In Black” movie?

I know the truth

In any case, I took the information with the view that the battles ahead have been won for me, and my trust in Him will make a way. I will call those things that are not as though they were, rather than call the things that are as if they were not. [BibleHub: Romans 4:17]

This is usually the confusion of faith we need to unlearn, relearn, understand and reaffirm. In matters of life and death, you want to know who and what you believe and be sure that you are believing right.

On the cross of Calvary, He bore our sin and sins. Still, before He was nailed to the cross of agonising death at the hands of the Roman state, He took stripes, a relentless whipping that tore strips of flesh off his body that according to Scripture and observation, he was impossible to behold for the wounds on him. Those wounds represent every manner of disease and illness that visits humankind in its mildness and extremity. [Bible Gateway: Isaiah 53:1-5 (NLT)]

I know I’m healed

Jesus Christ was spoken of by the prophets, and when He came to the world, “He drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick.” Matthew 8:16. This fulfilled the word of the Lord through the prophet Isaiah, who said, “He took our sicknesses and removed our diseases.” (NLT) [BibleHub: Matthew 8:17] Healing is present and available as it was then and it will be until He returns, I live in the truth of what Jesus did for me.

That is why I am not afraid but emboldened to face the hours, the days, the weeks, the months, and the years ahead. I will constantly be encouraged by the Word of God, and by the anointed preaching of the Word on faith, healing, living, and prospering in my soul and body.

I will frame my own world by the Word of God [Hebrew 11:3]. This is His will for me, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” (KJV) [BibleHub: 3 John 2]

Thought Picnic: We will not be deprived of our memories

I beg to differ

Under the guise of misremembering with the advantage of being caught unawares in the heat of the moment or a discussion, you hear things that on reflection you know for a fact were never the situation when what is being referenced is recalled differently.

Oh, that we had the presence of mind to call out those things before they become the new narrative presented as the truth it never was. You do wonder if you are being taken for a fool or if the recollection is working in the assumption that you must have forgotten the reality that you experienced in full living colour.

How it really happened

The capacity of my memory sometimes amazes me, books and records of the senses in motion left apparently gathering dust in the shelves of the mind, at moments of deep thought and reflection get dusted off and leafed through to pages of an instant relived unmistakably as it is real.

It is against that vivid recollection that some seek a revision of the fact to suit a new narrative and press a point of view that is entirely invalid. If one were to look at this charitably, how we are being lied to and taken for dullards is expressed in their talking out of both sides of their mouths.

Our silence buys peace

The lasting effect of that sometimes-inadvertent deception is distrust and anger, for once again, you are discounted in the equation of things as inconsequential and irrelevant. Your restraint or occasion to the unfortunate absence of mind is taken as agreement and acquiescence. It ultimately comes to my writing to redress the false impression, it matters little whether it is read or not.

What we have been witnesses to, remains an aspect of our participation, that no one thought to ask how we were affected by it lends itself to certain cultural norms that appear to infer that time resolves things and children forget things. Nothing could be further from the truth. We compartmentalise and put things away to save ourselves from trauma, it is a self-preservation mechanism more than anything else.

We saw it all even if we did not offer an opinion then. When they think they have pulled the wool over our eyes, we see through it all, that the perfect is as imperfect as it is given to wilful corruption. What we excuse is for the sake of peace and de-escalation of the confrontational, the day we decide to challenge the presumptions, no one can be prepared for the shock of our clear perceptions.

Drought in bladderland

You’ve seen it all before

I guess when it comes to health and medical issues you must forget to be embarrassed and face things with, well, an injection of humour.

When I was in hospital in late 2009, I needed to have a shower and I was in such dreadful pain being supervised by a nurse. She pulled the curtains to shield me, but in that state of sheer vulnerability, it meant nothing to me.

I simply told her, "In your job, you have seen so much that I do not care for what you see now", as I invited her to scrub my back and hose me down. We can be precious about the common things, when in the hospital, honesty, frankness, openness, and truth matter more than anything to get the right outcomes.

A drought in the bladder

So, this morning I got a call from a nurse at the GP surgery, we know each other, and she wanted a sample that I could not produce on demand. Well, after waking up and everything with the ablutions there is nothing to give.

As the conversation progressed, I asked if this could be medically induced, like cloud seeding the bladder, that sort of thing, you should never give the medical establishment those kinds of thoughts to work on.

For want of a better word, we agreed that I could visit when I am pressed and at the surgery, I’ll be given a container for it. Then, it might just need fear or terror to unwittingly wet yourself, why that surprises me when I once had juvenile enuresis is interesting. All they want to do is take the piss.

Blog - Childhood: Atọ̀ọlé (October 2010)

Thought Picnic: The spirit of living

In spirit of spirit

Spirit, beyond the being that we essentially are is that force of life that creates the situations and pathways that become the testimonies of gratitude and thankfulness we get to tell.

Enlivening spirit is the power and vision of hope, I saw it on the day that I received news of a condition that devastated the community to which I belong over 21 years ago, for against the stark contrast of foreboding and the mountain of impossibility that loomed in the foreground, I saw the light of dawn that said the story was not ending with the news I had just heard.

The spirit of revelation

The knowledge I have gained and the way I find myself reviewing that quantum of legacy in the face of new experiences is such that I am grateful that opening my mind to new perspectives brings new learning, insight, and wisdom to engender change.

One big lesson I have learnt is not to sit in the cocoon of a revelation for too long, every revelation belongs to an instant and a time frame, and it may not outlive its usefulness, but between the immutable that governs our faith and the changing that is the witness of our lives, a new light would always need to be shone on a situation.

When light is incidental on a prism, the beauty of the light is only realised in movement, the movement of the prism and the changing of your viewpoint and perspective, the light, the source of knowledge and inspiration remaining the same.

The revelations that gave me calmness in another period of adversity did not give me peace when brought to bear in other circumstances. Meditation has to be continuous as revelation needs to be renewed refuelling us for another journey in life.

The spirit of living

Coming back to spirit, it is no pleasure going through any period of adversity, difficulty, or incapacity, you almost feel that the world is closing in on you. Then sometimes, you must close yourself to the world around you and settle in the darkness and dampness of the soil in which you have been buried as seed.

A seed in the soil, watered by revelation and warmed by hope, sets in motion the cycle of life, new life, the sprouting of growth and the promise of a harvest in due time. I wonder at the spirit of life that sustains the health of our mortal being, the hopes we have, and the revelations that let us dare to dream, and then believe that those dreams can come true.

I marvel at the spirit of joy that lifts us above everything that deigns to hold us back and feigns at domineering us when we are more usually clueless about who we are and why we exist to reign and overcome. I am a spirit, I have the Spirit in me, and my spirit is triumphant as I find my place by the grace given to me to live and hide in God who is spirit and whom I seek to worship in spirit and in truth.

Thought Picnic: If only we knew the truth

A runaway train at speed

We can so soon be carried away with the media frenzy and the dimensions of how a situation is portrayed, and this along with the commentariat spawns a world of imponderables and the utterly incredible.

Sadly, this is rarely within the context of the event or representative of the truth, but once sensationalism has grasped a story by the scruff of the neck, it runs away at such speed that the truth probably has no chance of catching up and correcting the impression made.

A moment to regret

Sometimes, the principals in the story in a moment of indiscretion, a lapse in judgment, or a poor choice of words with a microphone jabbing at their lips inform a sceptical audience of their intentions only to have opprobrium heaped upon them. By consequence, their causes and mission sometimes suffer irreparable damage, even as reputational risk is heightened.

There was a news story way back in 1987 that became the hallmark of a rather distinguished career that was quite impactful for another two decades. Between a kind of desperation to achieve for the good of the many and for a renowned public speaker, words that attracted derision over praise became a negative by which the person now deceased is remembered by the wider world.

The benefit of the good

In my own opinion, I strive to believe in the best of people and understand that they have faults and failings that do not necessarily make them nasty and irredeemable people. An old saying I learnt from a preacher over 30 years ago, feeds my inclination to ‘have as much sense as an old cow, eat the hay and leave the baling wire.’

This is what allows me to engage with people I may not totally agree with, yet the same people have gems of wisdom and knowledge that can be quite profitable to me. However, having absorbed the stench of the prevailing news story which had become a controversial and trenchant part of his biography I never researched any further but took it at face value of the reportage.

If only we knew

In listening to a message today, I caught a portion where the event was related by a witness with insight into the motives, intentions, and rationale of the person in question. You then realise for every story that gets told about you, there is probably little that could be done to arrest the juggernaut careering down the steep incline of gossipy and salacious interest. Some battles like that cannot be won, but you should not for the noise abandon your determination and purpose.

I put it down to a moment of human weakness and an unscripted poor choice of words. If everyone knew, they might have been forgiven. Then again, when a story has grown hairy and swift legs, it is unlikely the truth would be allowed to get in the way of a story about to breast the tape of notoriety, ignominy, and obloquy. Selah!

Childhood: Standing up to the powerful

The headmistress’ daughter

Certain girls in my childhood experience were big girls, taller and fierce, bullies at times, against whom I could do little if anything. In one case, when I was just 8, and she was probably 10, the daughter of the headmistress would on occasion share the Land Rover school bus with us; my sister and I along with children for 3 other families that met in the front of the ATMN (Amalgamated Tin Mines of Nigeria) offices in Rayfield, Jos.

I presume she would normally travel to school with her mother. However, in the time that we were on the school bus, for whatever reason, rather than be kind and friendly, she would pinch and bruise me whilst I grimaced and winced in pain, just wishing for the journey to school to end and be rid of her menace.

Getting a pinch back

It happened a few more times and I told my dad about it. He simply said, pinch her back. The next time we shared the school bus, she pinched me and quite immediately, I pinched her back. Maybe the shock of retaliation or something hit her, but now she reported me to her mother. I do not think I was called into the headmistress’ office, but the headmistress contacted my father to remonstrate my behaviour.

There was an interesting power dynamic at play that taught me a veritable lesson about not being afraid of people with means and influence, along with power and money. It was in the way my father addressed the issue.

At first, he explained that the girl had been attacking me for days before I reported the issue to him, that she was much bigger than I, that she had been bullying me, and what made the attacks stop was when I retaliated. I think the headmistress understood, and not only did the attacks stop, but the girl also never joined us on the bus again.

Don’t dread the powerful

Another thing, her father was the Managing Director of ATMN whereas my father was the Deputy Chief Accountant, they were all Caucasian, though that is beside the point, I had always been in an international school setting that race or identity in that regard never mattered to me, though I do remember that we as children were quite cruel to those of Asian heritage.

The broader lesson was in the fact that I was exposed to possible repercussions at school just as my father was to such at work, because of who the parents of the girl were. Yet, when he made the case of kindness, fairness, and justice, without fear or favour, for me and for himself, I learnt from that time that if you were in the right and were doing right, you could hold your head high in any place.

Then one thing that has helped me navigate power structures through life has been, to be honest, and true, then, I am only afraid and terrified of people who have two heads. So far, I have met none such and I am glad it is an imponderable of the imagination than a vestige of possibility.

#PartyGate: Of the conceited kakistocrat of 10 Downing Street

He is impervious to contrition

It has come as no surprise, at least not to me that Prime Minister Boris Johnson has indicated that he has no intention of resigning after the submission of the #PartyGate report, in fact, after having escaped the necessity of The Queen demanding his resignation after he lied to her majesty on the illegal prorogation of 2019, it was obvious that he has no character, dignity, integrity, embarrassment, sense of responsibility, or shame that could lead to his relinquishing office except by the loss of an election. [BBC News: Sue Gray report: Drunken No 10 party culture in lockdown laid bare]

What is disturbing is the realisation that the United Kingdom is in the unconscionable grip of a kakistocracy never seen in the performance of government ever. A man who has had an undistinguished record of being unable to acquaint himself with the truth that he would lie with such ease and no pang of conscience, who is ready to abandon international treaties that he himself negotiated and signed because of the inconvenience that has exposed his double-dealing and perfidy is not on a journey to become a better man.

Here is one who does not believe he should be held accountable for anything; he constantly gets away with impunity even as his acolytes have joined in his way of doing things to preserve the perverse. Apparently, we met with Conservative MPs and said he was sorry, just like the boy who cried wolf and they believe him. Boris Johnson in his arrogance and conceit is incapable of contrition, but more fool them, as they know who he is and now choose to vouch for his honesty and sincerity.

An unprincipled lot

When friends suggested his brush with a possible COVID death might moderate his outlook and behaviour, I knew Boris Johnson had no redeeming quality that could help him reflect on infirmity or adversity to see a reform of his character, he is utterly rotten to the core. Sadly, his party has become the freemasonry of the unprincipled that would coalesce rather than rid themselves of this pox on our democracy.

If truth and justice cannot be the lodestar of our government and democracy, you can only wonder what these people would allow to happen, if they ever think there is any need to have any sense or purpose. The handful of Tory MPs that have any semblance of integrity are too few to move the needle.

Self-interest rather than national interest is the guidance for most of them and some would be let out like rabid dogs on our televisions to defend the indefensible perfidiously that Beelzebub the father of lies would find himself an amateur to their parselmouths.

Somehow, we are just left with no other choice than to watch and hope that they would exhaust themselves and go the way of oblivion with history judging them as the worst that has ever come to power, the bookend of Queen Elizabeth's amazing reign besmirched by an intolerable government.

Down to the heart of desire

Knowing myself as me

I think about nature and nurture, the knowledge of desire and the things that make us who we are even if we are different and we are different in many ways, but we get along, all the same.

Speaking of desire, I have never thought differently about who I am even if I have questioned why I am who I am. I remember being asked when reviewing the issue of my sexuality with my religious leaders and sometimes with my managers at work whether I have ever been attracted to females, the truth is I have never had that desire, not in the slightest.

Misunderstanding the impossible

I cannot answer the whys or wherefores, but I know that the desire to rid myself of a desire I always had for one I never had was just a recipe for a totally miserable life. That is the complexity of sexuality and the absurdity of conversion therapy.

The idea that you can get someone to totally displace themselves from a desire they have for one they have never had is quite bonkers if not madness. Yet, many attempt to turn people from one thing to another, just because they think they can.

Acceptance is a journey

I guess the bigger struggle is the one of acceptance, first the one of accepting oneself, then the one about others accepting who you are, if they have the wherewithal to. At the end of the day, you are who you are and whether accepted by others or not.

Then at the same time, I observe the conflicts, the confusion, or the conflation of desire, even the fear or shame of the same desire that keeps people from being true to themselves first and then to others. The consequence being a double-life with the opportunities for exploitation and blackmail that makes for a secretive, paranoid, and unhappy existence. Many of us know about this.

Caught between desires

Along the way, there is the cohort that cannot extricate themselves from ambivalence, straddling different aspects of satisfaction of their desires that it becomes fetishized. Maybe I was a bit terse when someone asked if I like stockings and suspenders to which I responded without skipping a beat that I only do it with men.

In fact, I have been asked to dress up and nothing annoys me as much as anyone who expects me to pretend to be someone else for them to get their kicks. At the same time, I have to recognise that it is each to their own and move on. What I cannot completely put out of my mind and memory are times when I have been invited to meet someone casually only to see that in the absence of their spouse and kids, these men are playing the field with ‘taboo’ activities unbeknownst to their wives or girlfriends.

Here I was in a matrimonial home, in their bed, a cot with kid’s toys strewn around the house and well, there is life as you know it and desire as we seek to find it and satisfy it. It is a funny world and the journey to acceptance and being openly happy with it is still a tough one for many to begin, talk less of complete. C’est la vie!

Not acting on what is remembered of them

We see only the good

Through affinity and familiarity, we acquire the kind of subjectivity that blinds us to certain characteristics of personality and integrity. The people we seem to know by whom we have determined they can do no wrong, we hoist them on plinths of adoration, unimpeachable and perfect despite their flaws being evident to others.

The searing truth of the character of our somewhat familiars escapes scrutiny and challenge, we are left totally unpersuaded of the truth and maybe that is necessary for the kind of relationships we need to maintain for the respect or the mystique the person presents to our opinions and adulation of them.

Speak the truth always

Yet, I am of the rare disposition of not speaking ill of the dead whilst not supporting false encomiums and epitaphs that suggest a life lived differently from the knowledge we have of such persons. The needful must be done, to bury the dead. However, to praise them beyond their lived human expression is to at once attend to falsehood and do them an injustice.

The evil men do remains the evil they have done, just as the good they have done is the good for which they should be lauded and appreciated.

Do well with all

In the many stories I have heard of people who have heretofore seemed worthy of praise because their deeds are concealed in the secrecy of acts that others remember them for, I have been astounded.

All I can say is that for all that they might have done wrong, we should find it in our better selves not to act as they have done to us and so become like them, but to rise to a standard for which we might be found good, faultless, and exemplary.

The sands of time will always archive the record and in the way we have been made to feel, by those who have contemned us, if we cannot forget, we can attempt to forgive.

It is magically beyond real

We live so true

Spirits move me to a plane of excitement and expectation I cannot find the words to express. There is a joy in life that seems to find its circle of completion in the person and the companionship of one such who indeed has stolen my heart away.

The strain of distance and the length of time that we have been apart has its effect, but we stand strong in the knowledge that much of what we see will pass, the constraints that prevent would give away eventually to allow the inevitable. Two hearts meant to be as one will be as one in the fulness of time.

We believed the truth

In yearning and desire, we have sat, urging each other on and encouraging each other of how the time away dissolves into the closeness of the time together. Dreamy thoughts and pictures of what we have done and will do begin to take the shape of a reality that we long to share.

At the time one proposed, it floated like an idea to be challenged and negotiated, then I realise I work with people as human as I am, with feelings just as I have, who know the need for fulfilling companionship cannot be exercised for so long at the distance for it does need proximity to rekindling and renewal.

We cleave to life

I can have the time I have required to go and do this and more whilst a stand-in is recruited to cover for my absence. It is a kind of magnanimity much appreciated and one I cannot but be thankful for. It is in this vein that the countdown has begun. I am buzzing like a bumblebee, it is something you cannot fully contain, it just bubbles out of you with effervescence and brilliance.

The light of my world and the smile that comforts with the touch that soothes, love is a many-splendored construct of the completely inexpressible made true and lived large. I am thankful for the good fortune and favour unto me and mine.

Warning! My blogs might shock you

I find the words to say

My blog may not necessarily be my undoing, but it is a journal and compendium of snippets and snatches of memory, experience, and observation that if I could commit myself to the rigour of an autobiography, there is little else I might need to put in a book apart from flesh out some stories for content, context, and contemplation.

In the versatility of the use of language is the revelation of much that might elicit inquiry and confirmation, yet, what is read should be taken at face value, for there is neither obfuscation nor dissembling, just some finesse, and if one could rise to that standard, the sophistication to make the usually unspeakable readily palatable.

Too many assumptions exist that in the spectrum of believing the worst to fairy tale bliss, the truth is not so much a search for a needle in the haystack, it is in plain sight once disbelief is suspended for accepting an unconsidered reality. It is quite likely a variation on the art of storytelling.

Did you really not know?

There are discussions and difficult ones they are that have made a showing on my blog before they have become a conversation with certain close ones. Too many things to learn about me that it is surprising that the profile texts of my blog and Facebook do not seem to have had the in-depth reading and comprehension desired.

On my blog, I have a play on the meaning of my name Akin in English and any other translation or interpretation you might consider. “Essentially similar to what is known, compatible to what is expected and related to the unexpected…” It would be supercilious to consider myself enigmatic, but the ellipsis at the end is both deliberate and suggestive of much more about me that is unknown.

The Facebook profile changed some time ago because acquaintances from long ago had impressions about me in need of addressing forthwith. Adopting a broad statement was supposed to stem the tide of inquiry, even as I pruned my following to contain aggression and disapprobation. I could not be clearer than this: “I thought and concluded, do not presume you know me, this is really not a biography, it is guidance.”

Shock is the wrong reflex

Then comes the other conundrum, I write quite openly about very personal stuff that gets read by an audience beyond those I am directly in contact with. Even amongst those I know, I do not know who cares to read my blog, though the statistics suggest I have a readership in as far-flung places as Indonesia in the last week, that country taking the lead with the UK, the Netherlands, and Nigeria where I have lived coming 5^th, 7^th, and 9^th respectively. I cannot begin to fathom why the interest from these places, but something is engaging them.

This is my advice to those who read my blog; you will probably learn more than you expected to see, if you have any doubt you might want to give it the benefit of the doubt that what you have read needs no further explanation than what it has said at your first reading. Mental gymnastics are a cause for unnecessary angst, we can agree, your writer does not mince words.

The thought sometimes crosses my mind to be reserved, reticent, or dabble in a form of self-censorship, but rather than curtail, I usually prevail by finding a form of words for whatever I want to express. Finally, I ask for some open-mindedness and the need not to make a shock your first resort in the acquisition of knowledge; the world is a big place, some things might extend your worldview to places you never thought possible. That is the biggest teaching about our humanity.

The truth in another story

The way we see things

The pieces that make up the story are fragments of personal experiences, some individual and strange and others are interactions with people known, barely known, or unknown. The circumstances and contexts of encounters are ones of perspective, reflective of the owner of the narrative.

Some of that narrative might be kind or unkind, pertinent or irrelevant, the dispute arises where what is honest and true becomes inconvenient to others, either because they would rather than was not known or it paints them in some rather poor light.

Between the truth and what is told

The question then becomes what is the purpose of the truth and in whose hands should it conveyed without kneading or moulding? For the truth of one might well be the nightmare of another. Then to differentiate between the truth as a matter of perception from the facts as a matter of record from recall if there is no congruence between them.

How will one welcome a peremptory requirement to redact, to obfuscate, to rewrite, or to withdraw from publication the story as it is written? It is funny that in an episode of Murder, She Wrote, one of the protagonists that became a victim of a murder,  said to his stepdaughter, “Your play was amazingly written, but to have trashed your mother like that is unforgiveable.” By that, he disowned her. She wrote an inconvenient story and I know many of us have stories that touch raw nerves too. Would we dare tell them?

Coconut heads clashing

Botanically speaking

So, Brian wrote a beautiful poem that does not tell the whole story about coconut heads. We had to knock our coconut heads together and this is the result of the clash of fruits, nuts, or seeds, depending on how you see the coconut. [Brian’s Point of View: Coconut head]

Ere the talk of a coconut head,
Was that of oils once hair is shed,
The advice you so easily give,
By which you choose not to live.

Digging for news from much dirt

It really is not news

What passes for news nowadays when I scroll down my newsfeed more than grieves me, there are titbits of information, knowledge and ideas shared but in the main, it is about forgettable event and people seeking notoriety, controversy, conspiracy, and gossip.

Just the headlines alone are off-putting, affairs of inconsequential people laid bare and publicised for no particular benefit, but it appears to sell. I see some that talk about the decline rather than the rise of people in their looks, their worth, or their fortunes. More sinister is the opinion mine of suggestion and supposition with no basis in truth to create feuds and turmoil in the lives of others.

A place for the nasty

If you deign to read any of it, the copy is just the beginning, scroll down to the comments and they are vicious, nasty, and horrible. I have come to accept that there are misery vampires out there who seek lives to suck the joy and happiness out of.

In other ways, it is just projection. What people say about things is probably more a reflection of themselves than of the issue they are commenting on. I still believe in the view of if I have nothing good to say, I will say nothing. However, if there is a contrary opinion is needed, it should be delivered in the nicest way possible, without malice, spite, or prejudice.

Putting my filters to work

Maybe, what I need to do to work on better filtering the kind of news I get, though there isn’t much I can do if random links are delivered as part of the advertising and marketing streams that even the somewhat salubrious sites need to exist.

In other ways, I think, about the following things:

• Is it newsworthy?
• Why is this important?
• Who? And that is many more questions, some you do not voice.
• What is the intention for this piece?
• What is telling or teaching me?
• What is the information shared and how does it help me?
• Is there anything here that can help make me a better person?
• Is this about the human experience of the marketing of misery?
• What good can come from reading this and then sharing it?
• Maybe I have an opinion on it, how can I express it well?
• Are these people just overexposed and in seeking notoriety?
• What is the example here worthy of my attention?
• Can I learn anything useful from reading this?
• Is this factual, truthful, an expose, or just opinion masquerading as such without the expert underpinnings to make such assertions or commentary? These pandemic times make that is a serious question to ask when we consume anything that purports to be news.

The list is neither complete nor exhaustive, but one should avoid clickbait, fantastic headlines that have no bearing on the story. Then one last thing, apparently informational pieces that cannot be placed on one page, requiring you to click through multiple pages weeding through stupid and uninteresting advertisements exploiting your apparent curiosity. I’ll be honest, I do not waste my time on that anymore.

The Horror Apprentice is cancelled

Something to celebrate

Today heralds a new dawning in the world order and global leadership with the inauguration of President Joseph R. Biden as the 46^th President of the United States of America. We need to take time to let that sink in, it is significant.

The outgoing president in his bitterness and truculent will hopefully slink into obscurity only to be noticed when his many legal and financial troubles are given the burning tails to chase after him and whether he is able to escape opprobrium or justice is left to be seen.

A piece of work

Donald J. Trump was an aberration visited upon us with a temperament most unsavoury even if entertaining for many. We had completely different worldviews, he’s was entirely self-centred with the pretensions to public service he was never disposed to. Apart from ambition, there was nothing exemplary in his conduct, demeanour, attitude, or deportment.

In speech, his excessive use of comparatives and superlatives with repetition for emphasis showed a man who did not read, was ready to dish out but averse to receive, he had the bully pulpit of the presidency and wielded it with a tyrannical ferocity attacking anything that did not serve his ego or redound to his personality. Basically, he had no humanity.

Vote with knowledge

The thought that he could have been rewarded with a second term was scary until it became obvious that he would not so be granted that opportunity.

If anything, we learnt of how power in the hands of one who breaks all the rules and does not subscribe to the orthodoxy can radically affect our lives. The vote is not something to be gambled away on the whim, for it is not enough to just assume power, the responsibility that pertains to power is tested when met with a crisis. That crisis became the Coronavirus pandemic.

401,777 people have died of CoVID-19 disease to-date, there had to be consequence and repercussion for this. [Johns Hopkins: Coronavirus Resource Centre] It is therefore gratifying that he lost the election to the person he nicknamed Sleepy Joe and has to the very last day not conceded to him. The systems and institutions have stood strong against the Trump onslaught and his quest to undermine democracy in America. He came into power with his party in control of all arms of government and he departs having lost it all for them.

No new season

Personally, it was essential that Donald Trump’s tenure end in disgrace with all the accoutrements of his malevolent character in global display as lacking in grace, in deportment, without gallantry, and full of calumny. He had no acquaintance with the truth, the Washington Post says President Trump has made 16,241 false or misleading statements in his presidency. When the truth is absent from our leadership and democratic system, we are left with little to trust about how we are being governed and the policies implemented that affect our lives. [Wikipedia: Veracity of statements by Donald Trump]

This became the hallmark of this woebegone presidency, an antithesis of decency in every ramification and a black spot on civility. He cannot be gone soon enough and to many it is good riddance. One however must not forget those who hitched their wagons to this apology of wanton excess, who believed every word he uttered, bestowed on him cult followership, and sacrificed everything to his cause. Some paid the ultimate price others will pay more than they bargained for. It is a veritable and cautionary lesson and tale to be told for history and wisdom.

In closing, one can only wish President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris the very best on their tenure, my prayers follow them and we hope that the leadership we have always excepted of America will be restored for some semblance of peace and the embrace of our common, yet diverse humanity. The future beckons as The Horror Apprentice has been cancelled for a second season because the ratings were rotten and the host was indescribably atrocious.