The Supreme Court judgement on WOMAN

An impassable terrain

The issue of access to women’s intimate spaces and the participation of natal males who have identified as female by gender reassignment in sport has been a controversial and sometimes impossible issue to discuss.

There are activists in what had become gender wars who had taken such implacably entrenched positions on either side of the debate, making those who even had the simplest, most innocent, or possibly naive questions feel silenced, for fear of being labelled phobic, exclusionary, bigoted or even worse.

Any opinion that appeared to go against the grain of the most liberal view of inclusion was an invitation to censure, ostracism, punishment, loss of status or livelihood, persecution, prosecution, and even death threats. I dare say, to the silent and quite likely reasonable majority, it was like the world had gone mad.

What is sex?

I awaited with anticipation and trepidation the judgement of The Supreme Court in the UK, framed in the context of what the protected characteristic of sex in the Equality Act 2010 explicitly referred to, was it biological sex alone or did it include certificated sex?

The section, as per what the Act refers to as sex, is Chapter 1, Section 11 shown below:

Sex

In relation to the protected characteristic of sex—

(a) a reference to a person who has a particular protected characteristic is a reference to a man or to a woman;

(b) a reference to persons who share a protected characteristic is a reference to persons of the same sex.

The Supreme Court in its 88-page judgement with 268 paragraphs exhaustively reviewed historical and superseded acts and laws that fed into the Equality Act 2010 and concluded that the definition of man and woman given in the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 had not been changed in either the Gender Recognition Act 2004 or the succeeding Equality Act 2010. [The Supreme Court – Judgement - For Women Scotland Ltd (Appellant) v The Scottish Ministers (Respondent)] PDF

In Part 1, Section 5, Subsection 2, the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 declares.

(2) In this Act—

" woman " includes a female of any age, and

" man " includes a male of any age.

There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that in 1975, woman and man referred to biological sex. Every assertion and consequent interpretation derives full context from here.

An appeal to predictability

The Supreme Court was at pains to stress a particular point in Paragraph 12:

Lord Nicholls’ important constitutional insight in Spath Holme, that citizens with the help of their advisers should be able to understand statutes, points towards an interpretation that is clear and predictable.

In other words, there is a need for consistent, clear, and predictable interpretation of words, contexts, meanings, and intention, when citizens read statutes as promulgated by parliament.

That means, if a woman or a man had not been explicitly redefined in a subsequent Act, the precedent definition remains.

Another crucial point made is that the protected characteristic of Gender Reassignment remains valid by force of law in the Equality Act 2010, none of the rights of those persons who have undergone, are undergoing, or are in the process to undergo gender reassignment are impugned, they are protected against discrimination, victimisation, or harassment, as a matter of course.

The difficult question

However, the practical consequences of this situation and judgement will definitely leave people with certain protected characteristics who have had access to spaces of their acquired gender identity in a kind of limbo, possibly requiring a third space.

I would think, this is a matter for The Equality and Human Rights Commission to address, in terms of the changes to rules, regulations, notices, texts, and policies, along with the kinds of accommodations and exceptions that will continue to safeguard the protected characteristics of those whose biological sex has by gender reassignment acquired a certificated sex.

Knowledge is power

It is incumbent on every activist and advocate to study The Supreme Court judgement to appreciate the rationale behind their summation and conclusion.

At the very least, read Section 22, Summary of our reasoning, which contains Paragraph 265 on Pages 84 to 86; the attendant paragraphs informing their reasoning are suffixes to the respective subsections.

While I am not a lawyer and obviously not as emotionally invested in this situation, my reading of the judgement is that it is sound, based on unimpeachable legal precedent, and argued with due consideration of all parties involved, that they have stated, it is not a victory for either side.

It provides clarity that would roll back some unfortunate and extrapolated interpretations of the law that have both advantaged and disadvantaged certain groups with common characteristics; that would always be the result of a petition for interpretation made to the highest court of the land.

The fight for exclusive and/or inclusive places for protected characteristics as per the Equality Act 2010 must advance beyond protest to provision. I also do not believe the slippery slope argument is relevant to this case.

References

The Supreme Court – Judgement - For Women Scotland Ltd (Appellant) v The Scottish Ministers (Respondent) [PDF]

BBC News: Five key takeaways from Supreme Court ruling

Observer Editorial: The Observer view on Equality Act ruling: A dignified compromise that respects the rights of everyone

Singing to child wish lusts

Pastoral indulgences

In a spurt of scandalously sacrilegious inspiration, I read a tweet earlier that gave sprite to a poem written to the tune of the Christmas Carol - O Come All Ye Faithful.

Pastor Divorces Wife, Marries Choir Mistress And Opens New Church Branch For Her In Delta.

— Instablog9ja (@instablog9ja) June 30, 2021

“Pastor Divorces Wife, Marries Choir Mistress And Opens New Church Branch For Her In Delta.” [Sahara Reporters]

So many themes to pick apart here, the pastor obviously abandoned his marital vows and began an affair with the choir mistress whose melodious talents within the choir made her a suitable mistress to the available and fully tempted amenable pastor, who yielding to his lusts jettisoned his wife for her.

Then by unction or more that we may not know, he generously gave the gift of ministry to his old mistress - new wife who probably will pastor the new boudoir for to call the meeting place a church might be blasphemous even from the most liberal viewpoint.

The evidence of slime

Upon further research, Prophet Evidence Chikason had been consumed of a Henry VIII complex, his third child by his wife Praise Chikason was not the expected boy, as if it is primarily the function of the woman to determine and choose the sex of the child. He took the hand of Helen with whom he had been having an affair and ordained her resident pastor of the new boudoir.

Ex-wife meanwhile apparently performs signs and wonders with holy water merchandise to boot, much of this would have been the stuff of a Nollywood script, but life in Nigeria could be more realistic than the art that imitates it.

The poem

Sing choirs of adultery,
Sing indecent liaisons,
Sing all ye mistresses,
Of heathens in lust.
Just can't behold it,
Living in sin and debauchery.
It is a shocking story,
It is a tale of reprobates,
It is the news of pastors,
Who can't zip it up.

Nigeria: The aftermath of "She Belongs In My Kitchen"

Politics takes in the family

Politics is a very engaging business for both the individual and their immediate family. It is almost impossible to divorce the immediate family from the effects and consequences of an individual entering politics.

The politician will almost definitely have a public life, it is usually unlikely except in a scandal for anyone to see into the home life and how the dynamic in that setting dictates, controls or affects how a politician operates.

However, we have gotten used to seeing the politician’s spouse espouse causes dear to their hearts on the one hand and sometimes to soften the hard politician’s stance to the wider world.

In many places, politicians do not seek public office without the consent and support of spouse and family, it is hopefully in recognition of the reality that seeking office does cause some sort of upheaval in their close-knit setup. Some have on the advice of their families withdrawn from politics to cater to their immediate family and renew bonds.

A politician’s wife with views

In Nigeria, we have had our share of the politician’s spouse, some uppity, some intrusive, some menacing and an atrocious assault on our democratic values, arrogating to themselves power to the status of their spouses and abusing their position peddling influence with reckless abandon, yet, this does not apply to all spouses, many who go by the moniker of ‘first lady’, to decline to licence for titles less commendable.

It is in view of this that one can understand when Aisha Buhari the spouse of the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria gave an interview to the BBC. She expressed concern about how the political maelstrom around her husband manned by people they neither knew nor could trust was making her husband’s political agenda ineffective.

To which end, she suggested that if things continued in this manner, she will not support if her husband chooses to contest, a re-election quest. [Aisha Buhari – BBC]

On a global stage

In the Nigerian society, these are strong views, yet, in my first comment about this, I suggested it appeared pillow talk was no more effective to bringing an obdurate man to understand concerns the family had, that the media might well be acquainted with that frustration.

Yesterday, as the news media took its soundbites from Aisha Buhari’s forcefully independent opinions Muhammadu Buhari was on a state visit to Germany. He could not have been oblivious of his spouse’s interview and I would have expected that his media team and advisers would have intimated that the world press in Germany might well broach the subject.

If Muhammadu Buhari were visiting Germany for a purpose, it would have been incumbent on them not to let any other issue overshadow that purpose and be on the trajectory to a successful state visit with the world press concentrating on that. They fell at the first hurdle.

The joke in the other room

With Muhammadu Buhari standing beside the foremost female politician in the world, Angela Merkel, he was asked about his wife’s views in that BBC interview. Given a global stage, President Buhari mustered all the patriarchy and chauvinism he could at the expense of wit, tact, diplomacy or even common-sense and let rip an anachronistic embarrassment of verbiage.

“I don't know which party my wife belongs to, but she belongs to my kitchen and my living room and the other room.” He said, amongst other things about his political struggles, his losses, his victory and his opponents. Angela Merkel, if we could have read her mind might have been thinking in German, “Warum habe ich stimme diesen Chauvinistenschwein zu treffen?” [Muhammadu Buhari – BBC]

A very sad analysis

For me, there are many angles from which to view Muhammadu Buhari’s comments, but I see a wider consequence of expressing such views on a global stage and it led me to ask a few questions on Twitter, because I already knew that the main takeaway from this Nigeria-Germany summit would be, “She belongs to my kitchen.”

When a leader of a nation says a spouse of 27 years belongs in the kitchen, what do you expect the girls of that generation to aspire to?

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

Let's get it straight, if a spouse of 27 years cannot express independent views without being sent back to the kitchen, what gives?

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

What does President Buhari have an entourage of advisers for if none of the lot anticipated he would be asked about his wife's views?

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

I know there are men who would excuse the inexcusable belittlement of Aisha Buhari on the world stage, I will not.

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

Just imagine if Bill Clinton suggested Hillary Clinton belonged in the kitchen, just because she had the audacity to have an opinion.

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

The undercurrent of "she belongs to my kitchen" is probably a religiously heartfelt desire to have a woman in purdah in 2016 Nigeria.

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

The widest implication and consequence of Muhammadu Buhari’s comment can only be encapsulated in the next tweet.

I hate to think of the consequences of Buhari's 'she belongs in my kitchen' view on an unfortunate girl-child needing to go to school.

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) October 14, 2016

The deeper ramifications

Nigeria has many girl-child disadvantages and challenges, we still have almost 200 Chibok Girls abducted by Boko Haram in captivity for over 2 years, girls are getting abducted, religiously converted and pressed into matrimony by paedophiles and there is no criminality imputed. [Premium Times]

The problem here is this septuagenarian in a changing world failed to lead and chose to follow patrimony and by his pronouncement that some have dismissed as a jocular retort, some men will decide there is no need to invest in their girls if the leader of the 7^th most populous nation in the world believes the woman belongs in the kitchen, the living room, and the other room.

The attempt at a joke here was the use of ‘the other room’ instead of ‘bedroom’, but the ramifications are deeper than that and that is why there is no excuse that can excuse what Muhammadu Buhari said in Germany.

Our culture expects the elderly to be smart, wise, wily and tactful, let us not let fealty to the man obscure the grave errors of the man.

Let’s do better

Now, I am not advocating that there should be no gender roles in the home, but a home life is only part of the total makeup of both the man and the woman. A lot is lost in the wealth of nations when only the patriarchy can decide who has opinions and whether they can be expressed so independently in public.

We must emancipate ourselves beyond this and give equal opportunity to a fulfilled life of achievement to everyone regardless of status, gender, beliefs, culture, traditions and unfortunate anachronistic views expressed by visionless leaders.

Opinion: Thank you, Kellie Palace Maloney for accepting who you are

I see

I just read that Frank Maloney, the boxing promoter is now undergoing gender reassignment having apparently been living as a woman for a while.

Now, Frank Maloney would in all terms be regarded a tough man with regards to his career as a boxing promoter, that business environment is at best brutal, if not quite difficult too.

However, she is now to be known as Kellie Palace Maloney which is both brave and interesting.

The conflicts of before

The Wikipedia entry for Kellie Maloney which has been revised to accommodate the feminine gender of the person, reads as an interesting struggle with inner turmoil between what was presented as publicly hard-faced whilst privately conflicted.

Besides having been a boxing trainer, manager and promoter, she made uncomplimentary comments about the lesbian and gay communities and when she dabbled in politics, she stood for the UK Independence Party (UKIP) whose right-wing populism is fearful and worrisome.

It would be curmudgeonly to suggest that publicly, Kellie had been a vocally strident opponent of the things she was as a person, in what is a bizarre form of aversion therapy bordering on rank hypocrisy, yet, people do have a long and difficult journey to realising who they really are and are ready to be.

Coming to terms

Coming to a point of self-acceptance where one does not care for accusation, abuse, stigma or shame is a personal victory of sorts over the wider influences of society that persuades people to conform and toe the line.

Surprised as I may be at this development, I can only congratulate Kellie Maloney for taking this decision in the pursuit of her happiness and the fulfilment of who she really believes she is.

However, like many us on the journey to openly accepting who we really are, there are some well-rehearsed lines of why we conform and how we get to the point where we are ready to live.

Offloading burdens

“I was born in the wrong body and have always known I was a woman. I can’t keep living in the shadows, that is why I am doing what I am today. Living with the burden any longer would have killed me.”

We could find different paraphrases of these lines spoken by Kellie Maloney to address many choices we have made under pressure to conform, for careers, for relationships, for coming-out, for gender reassignment and the much wider spectrum of human endeavour and expression.

Whether society is open-minded and accepting of it is the different topic, but too many of us have sacrificed ourselves to living with a burden of who we are not and it has left us unhappy, depressed, despairing, ashamed, guilt-ridden and sometimes suicidal.

The amazing thing is how easy it is to breathe when we release ourselves into living the truth of who we are and just get on with enjoying our lives.

Kelli Maloney, thank you for accepting and becoming who you are.

Thought Picnic: In praise of high heeled jinks

And I cried

I am not a great fan of reality television and the rapid descent from the real celebration of talent to just feeding our innate voyeuristic proclivities has made this type of entertainment the staple of mass broadcasting.

However, every once in a while, these talent shows, one of which is Britain’s Got Talent does reveal a piece of common coal about to metamorphose into a glittering diamond.

Usually, someone sends me a link to a YouTube video and as I watch, tears come to my eyes as amazingly raw talent without any polishing is revealed in a gift to humankind that we can only appreciate and celebrate.

Even watching Paul Potts [YouTube, he won in 2007] or Susan Boyle [YouTube, she came second in 2009] today still fills me with emotion, as you see the yearning to be recognised and acknowledged earnestly demonstrated, time and again, your faith in humanity is renewed. The very best are usually not the pushy, notorious, gregarious or extrovert ones.

Men doing girlie better

Yesterday, I got to see one of those gems of talent, some French guys came to England, Yanis Marshall, Arnaud and Mehdi, Yanis being the lead dancer and choreographer, they join the ranks of men who would supposedly beat the other gender at what they are supposed to be good at.

As I was busy getting over the spectre of Conchita Wurst [YouTube] who won the Eurovision Singing Contest 2014, bearded with a body any woman would die for, the voice of an angel and the dress … it just takes your breath away, these men were dancing in high heels, I would wager that they would beat Beyonce in any dancing matchup.

Having seen Beyonce dance in high heels and wondered out loud how anyone could do that, these guys have perfected the art to the point that Yanis Marshall gives choreography lessons around Europe.

After watching their performance on YouTube, I did not cry but I might be off to a cobbler to get me a pair of high heeled shoes. This was not drag, this was cheeky and camp elegance with a touch of professionalism – this has taken them into the final.

I wish them good luck, besides, I guess everyone secretly wants to dance in high heels like that. Enjoy their first performance and how they got to the final.

Decade Blogs - Roundup V - All the 35 Blogs and Thanks

Thank you

I start by thanking everyone who offered to write a blog for my Decade of Blogging with the Twitter hashtag #YourBlogOnMyBlog. In the end, I had up to 45 possible offers, 35 delivered in sufficient time to allow me to review, edit and schedule the blogs into five weeks of hosted opinion.

I am honoured and at the same time amazed at the breadth of opinion, ideas and content that can come from these blogs; there are many lessons to take away from these shared experiences.

I hope to use some of these ideas in blogs I write through 2014 to highlight the richness in stories that each bears as part of our individuality and uniqueness in the broader scheme of our humanity.

To all who could act, those who had good intentions and the many others who desired but could not be entertained, I express my heartfelt gratitude and thanks. May we all have many more years to celebrate the joys of writing.

I’m still here

This is the final roundup blog for the #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging. A five-week residency of blogs from 35 different people covering all aspects of life and society, from the trivial to the very serious.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

I wrote a few blogs this week, starting with the issue of trivialising rape in off-colour and atrocious jokes online. The comedian soon learnt that whilst he thinks his audience is local to Nigeria, the readership of his stupidity is global, and he got global condemnation.

Blog - Nigeria: From Basketmouth to Basket - Rape has no place in jokes

I probably should write a comprehensive blog on the pursuit of happiness; however, I found Pharrell Williams’ Happy, and I ended up playing back a good deal of the 24-hour video. If we were in sunnier climes, I probably would have gone out dancing in the street.

Blog - Because I'm Happy

On the 19^th of December, 2013, the Finance Minister appeared before the House Committee on Finance and played to the gallery, garnering sympathy from many, until another video appeared to show she was far from saintly or proper in her conduct. This is a view I always held but did not blog about until this video was made public.

Blog - Nigeria: That Finance Minister and House Committee Meeting

It is a prayer and a desire because until now I have acted in haste and suffered in waste long afterwards.

Blog - Thought Picnic: Moderating my decision tree

I have not written about my therapy sessions, and I’ve had a few of those; change is on the way, it sure is.

NAFDAC withdrew all the drugs manufactured by one company nationwide, replacing them with drugs that hopefully will arrest the decline in health brought on by the usage of poorly manufactured drugs.

Some viewpoints

The theme this week is life and perspectives from a hospital ward, gender equality, strikes, persistence, blogging, Twitter and the education emergency in Nigeria.

Here, for your pleasure, are all 5 weeks of Decade Blogs, 35 of them from wonderful people and amazing writers.

To everyone who has honoured me in finding the time to write for #YourBlogOnMyBlog, my thanks and more. I might find the words of appreciation and gratitude, eventually, and they would still not be enough.

Decade Blogs – Week 5

Decade Blogs - Oyedeji Aderemi - Killing Ourselves Softly

Decade Blogs - Jesse Oguntimehin - On Gender Equality

Decade Blogs - Chuba Ezekwesili - The Hidden Costs of University Strikes

Decade Blogs - Kunle Durojaiye - Keep Running!

Decade Blogs - Ayo Sogunro - Gone Blogging, Back Soon

Decade Blogs - Nike Olatunji-Akioye - Twittersphere

Decade Blogs - Seun Fakuade - Groping in the Dark

Decade Blogs – Week 4

Decade Blogs - Dupe Killa - The Broken Ones

Decade Blogs - Kola Akinola - My Friend

Decade Blogs - Chioma Agwuegbo (Chuka) - 10 Years

Decade Blogs - Henry 'O'Jew' Olamiju - Greatness - A Life Waiting Us

Decade Blogs - Olu Ximena - The Trade

Decade Blogs - Editi Effiong - Dear religious people, let's kill all the gay people

Decade Blogs - Saratu Abiola - On Nigeria and Why Writing Matters

Decade Blogs – Week 3

Decade Blogs - Sira Sokari - Writing is the Liberator

Decade Blogs - Abubakar A. Musa - Challenging the humanity in us

Decade Blogs - Japheth J. Omojuwa - The Power of Purpose and Persistence

Decade Blogs - Mister Mobility - Not all those who wander are lost

Decade Blogs - Annie Emmanuel - Loyal To A Fault And Daring To Do

Decade Blogs - Akin Oyebode - How Will You Measure Your Life?

Decade Blogs - Ayo Oyalowo - What exactly are we looking for?

Decade Blogs – Week 2

Decade Blogs - Monike Charles-Binitie - Taking the leap

Decade Blogs - 'Seyi Shimoshi - On Faith, Fiction and Friendship

Decade Blogs - Raymond Inkabi - Ten Years Of Blogging

Decade Blogs - Blossom Nnodim - The Guardians of the Future

Decade Blogs - Pearl Ijeoma Ezeokeke - The Employer Atrocities of She

Decade Blogs - Ikhide R. Ikheloa - This life, London, tribes, and the Internet

Decade Blogs - Bisi Alimi - 10 Years of Blogging

Decade Blogs – Week 1

Decade Blogs - Babatunde Rosanwo - The Market‏

Decade Blogs - Waffarian - Just Another Day

Decade Blogs - Emeka John Okoye - Welding Relations

Decade Blogs - Chikere Ezeh - Exhuming Blogs of Old

Decade Blogs - Nkem Ivara - The Power Of Words

Decade Blogs - Tolu Oloruntoba - Royalties at the end of a river

Decade Blogs - Feyi Fawehinmi - Daddy 2.0

Decade Blogs - Jesse Oguntimehin - On Gender Equality

Decade Blogs

Then, another mobile phone propeller head like Mister Mobility, Jesse Oguntimehin is probably one of three people I follow on Twitter that I would go to for advice about mobile phones, mobile telephony, apps and accessories.

He comes across as soft-spoken, knowledgeable, quite engaging and fun, yet, he mostly keeps to his core expertise with the occasional foray into life topics that would always attract interaction.

From my observation, he has probably made virtual friends in as many places as the Internet would allow freedom of access, he should hopefully travel the world.

Jesse Oguntimehin blogs at jesse.com.ng and his Twitter handle is @jesseoguns.

In his piece for my #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging, Jesse tackles gender equality and the changing perspectives of the issue in Nigeria, in the face of a learned and practiced history of unrestrained patriarchy.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

The changing roles of men and women in Africa has been a hard lesson for the dominant patriarchy with a tendency to male chauvinism to appreciate. As we discuss the issues, some highlighted in this article, we probably can begin to grasp what amazing talent and ability we have left untapped, unused and wasted where the need for such is critical and expedient.

What I have learnt about gender equality; ongoing discussion

It is easier for me these days to compose my thoughts in a series of tweets, than to open my laptop and compose my thoughts in a full article. In writing an article to be featured on Uncle Akin’s Blog, I have ruminated over different topics; and after seeing several awesome articles already written on his blog, I wondered if mine would stand.

The inter webs has shaped my life in the last few years—starting from 2010 when I got my first personal laptop and a USB Internet dongle. I got the laptop and Internet dongle after finishing my National Youth Service Corps (N.Y.S.C) posting with the intent of making money on the Internet as a blogger. I’m making the money now, and I have also been able to get a job through my blogging. What more, my thinking has been greatly influenced through the interactions I’ve been having through blogs, blog comments and on Twitter.

How I use to view Women

I grew up in Lagos, Nigeria. It is customary for women to be looked down upon and treated as a lesser human—this is what I have been exposed to. I have always thought the woman to be the lesser of a man. The man calls the shot and decrees over the woman at home, in the office, in the community and at religious gatherings—while I am going to leave that of religious gathering out of it, I will talk about how my thinking changed in the other areas.

It was my habit if someone was driving sluggishly I’ll say: it must be a woman driving. If she drives well and smartly, I’ll assume it’s a man that’s behind the wheel. Men have dominated the women for long, but women never stood up to challenge themselves until in the recent times.

Things have since changed. There are women bosses that do very great work and help businesses succeed; women are the breadwinners of some homes; women pay their own bill and live independently.

If a woman decided to rent her own apartment and live alone, leaving the home of her parents, it is frowned upon that she’s likely to start prostituting, or she’ll not get a man who’ll be interested in her.

If a woman is earning a good salary and living comfortably, men become scared as if that is going to make the woman head over them and they won’t be able to subdue her.

How my views have morphed

I started hearing about feminists and feminism when I became active on the inter webs. At first, I was often irritated by them and the ideas—women who do not want to subject themselves unto the headship of a man; that’s how I used to think about them.

Today, I’m seeing women who have risen to the challenge, accepted more responsibilities and build businesses, families, economy and societies. Women are contributing a lot to the conversation and the development of our societies.

I am now in support of equality of the sexes. How do I mean? A woman shouldn’t be stopped from aspiring to a certain height just because she’s a woman. If a woman wants to be a bus driver, allow her; if she wants to fly a plane—now they do—allow her; if a woman wants to work a nine to five job, allow her. Never say: because she’s a woman, she shouldn’t be allowed to do this or that.

What I am not changing yet

A man is the head of the woman—in the home/marriage setting. She’s to accept the man as the head of the family. A husband and his wife should therefore have an agreement about the role of a man and a woman in marriage before agreeing to be yoked together.

It will be a lot of stress on their marriage if a man who believes women are lesser men, gets married to a woman with can-do spirit; a woman who can make a lot of things happen by participating in many of the tasks that have once been reserved for only men—managers in big organisations, pilots, earning better salaries than many men, a woman who believes women should be treated fairly and equally with men—she’s not asking to be the head of the house, but to be given opportunity to do as much as the man.

Is there a man (married) among us, who will refuse the woman (wife) the opportunity to contribute to the upkeep of the house financially just because you think that will make you less of a man? Are you as a man of the opinion that the woman should not work, just because you do not want her to earn more than you and then have more power than you around the house?

The coming together of a man and woman as husband and wife means that two different people are coming together. They may share similar views in some areas and have different views in others. They must be ready to sacrifice and know how to make things work out for the two of them—be ready to be partners and not rivals.

In concluding, I am for women being allowed to do things that used to be reserved to only men without calling them women or judging them—that they’ve succeeded at it or failed at it because they’re women. The next times a woman drives poorly, try not to say: after all she’s a woman. There are men who are poor drivers as well.

Women too should stop looking down on other women. While should you as a woman say: he’s so slow, when he’s not a woman. Are women expected to be slow? Is slowness a function of gender?

While women should be allowed to pursue their interests—to include the one once reserved for me—we should not forget that the women still carry the babies; it is the women that menstruate; and there are many things different in the physiological make up of both gender...

Questions and further discussions:

• If we thus want equality of both gender socially, economically, and politically, why don’t we advocate for men to have paternity leave when their wives are pregnant too? Are we saying we should let the women go on maternity leave while the men can’t? Is that being fair to the men?
• A man is expected to open the door and draw the seat for a woman. Is a woman expected to do the same for a man?
• A man proposes to a woman. Are we going to change that too and ask that a woman should be allowed to propose to a man?

Obviously, there are things we can’t change. We can’t ask the man to choose to carry the baby during pregnancy: except there’s a culture somewhere that I do not yet know of. The woman doesn’t engage herself to a man; it is the other way round.

What are your thoughts?