58 revolutions around the sun

It’s a miracle baby

As times come and go, I realise I am a living miracle from the moment I took my first breath, with all the goodness and favour that has greeted me every waking day that has become the story of my life.

I am of all men greatly blessed, highly favoured, and extremely fortunate. Unexpectedly born at 26 and a half weeks at a time when it could have been decided I could not survive, even as the hospital in which I was born did not have the means to sustain me. I was taken to a hospital in another city about 25 miles away where I received the best care medicine could offer at the time.

An outlier to the convention

As a man of faith, every day whether acknowledged or not has had the hand of God sheltering and keeping me, through literally impossible situations, I can hardly count the innumerable blessings.

At another time, I was not meant to see my 44^th birthday, the prognosis gave me 5 weeks when the medical team in charge of my care made a diagnosis giving me the facts of the options before me. The good news depended on me tolerating the gruelling and debilitating chemotherapy for which I would be rewarded with more time.

Even medicine would prove me an outlier and the condition I had from studies at that time suggested the people did not last a decade. There were times I felt like a clock was ticking, it probably is the reason I hate the sound of ticking clocks. What was I learning from Captain James Hook in Peter Pan?

Living to live and thrive

Then, how have I measured myself against others thinking I will be limited by the experience of others when I was to live the life I am given to live and prosper. It is easy to live as if one were dying, yet there is a better story to live as one living and thriving regardless of situation or circumstance.

And here we are today, 58 revolutions around the sun, nothing I could have predicted or expected, it is all the grace of God, the prayers of many, the unstinting support of some, and the amazing love of Brian who plants a smile and grin that never wanes on my face.

I am full of gratitude to see this day and I believe there are many more amazing celebrations to come. In the stories I will write I cannot even begin to imagine the form or frame of words to narrate the miracles that astound as each day passes into milestones for which the praises to God will fill the mouths of many who love goodness, happiness, success, and joy.

This is my happy birthday.

Comments revealing a heart of darkness

Passing time on stories

Sweeping through new stories on my mobile phone as both a form of distraction and maybe disinterest until some usual clickbait headline catches your eye, you delve into it just to read what is being talked about.

Much as I am not into celebrity culture, there is always something to arouse your curiosity and once you have read the story, it never really ends with the story, as you are forming opinions of what you have read, you move on to the comments and that is where you get a feel of reactions to the story.

Comments in the heart of darkness

Reading one such story around a celebrity speaking candidly about their family situation, the first few comments that followed were dismissive, vitriolic, nasty, and horrible. They got me thinking about whether those comments were a reaction to what they had read or a projection of who they were.

The unnecessary nastiness towards people you do not know or will ever encounter in life never ceases to amaze me. How people just need to think ill of others, castigate and excoriate them and have the considered intention to reveal reprehensible views in these commenting sections is a mystery.

Saying nothing at all

I am of the disposition, if you have nothing good to say, say nothing, keep your counsel and let sleeping dogs lie. Where I have felt animosity toward others, I try to reflect on why I feel that way, consider why I have been unable to gain a better understanding and perspective of the person, rationalise the differences of circumstances and hope that it is not elements of the deadly sins seeking expression in my words and thoughts.

Obviously, there are other matters that would elicit comment which in my case would tack towards a generalisation in lessons for our humanity or if I may use football parlance, I got for the ball rather than the man. You might inadvertently foul the man, but it is rarely, if ever, intentional.

Finding light in the dark

Maybe, just maybe, it is a personality trait along with the excess of indolence that drives people to reveal much more of themselves by expressing views about others. It is that finger-pointing paradox, with one pointing out and your other fingers at yourself. If you should have to point with your four fingers and thumbs, it looks like an outstretched hand, one giving directions rather than an accusatory poise.

I sometimes wonder why I read some comment sections because they are majorly depressing and do not help the best of our nature. Yet in the mess of the unwholesome comments are gems of enlightenment and wisdom, they excite and encourage, hopefully, we catch them early before a pall of discouragement descends on our view of the other person.

Thought Picnic: Attitude is a view on the heart

A visit to the heart

I have on occasion being given the opportunity to see the heart of people, a situation that presents itself very often for the good and for the bad. For instance, someone in need asks for something you cannot provide them and immediately they begin to curse and rail.

For such people, you think, if for that moment where you felt the world should revolve around you and it did not, maybe you could have considered that others have their own worlds that revolves uniquely according to situations and circumstances in their own lives which do not have to be answerable or accountable to yours.

Manage that attitude

Indeed, humanity brings us together and we need each other much as we need to be beside ourselves. People who may not have to share when you make demands on them does not mean they are unkind, uncaring, or inhumane, they may just not have to give at that time and they do not owe you a story or a reason why.

Then, we all have bad days, rejection, humiliation, or unfulfilled desire might have accumulated into a sense of despair that could end up being exhibited in unnecessary rottenness to other innocent parties. They may be understanding of your situation or just be quite put off. It just takes some consideration to walk a mile in the shoes of another, with that perspective some unforeseen opportunity might arise.

Defined by goodness

Pleasantness, thankfulness and gratitude are things I want to readily give regardless of whether I have benefited or not. There is something about attitude that can make people go the extra mile for you. I can remember some times when just because of the nice response or exchange, I have gone out of my way to meet a need, for out of the goodness in a person will flow goodness that engages and out of the rottenness in a person, they repulse and close the doors to the bowels of mercy.

Invariably, we are reflection of the kind of responses we give, as the responses, gladden or hurt others, we reap rewards and if still for the bad attitude we display, we still get goodness from others, I hope the eyes of our hearts will see that and be thankful for the fact that we have not been harshly judged when deserved. In all, let the good show towards our being better people.

South Africa: Enter the soapbox European

We expect and intend

One thing that fills me with pride as a European is the embracing sense of humanity that we tend to have that tends to seek to treat others with respect and dignity. Sometimes, in our rush to help situations we might miss out on essential elements of custom, tradition, beliefs, setting or understanding that could make our intrusiveness and interventions in the quest for the greater good unwelcome. We mean well, even if we are naïve.

I have a tendency to carry around my European world-view wherever I go and where I do observe situations I find somewhat intolerable, you will find me doing something about it.

I returned to my hotel to meet a sense of unhelpfulness that I tolerated until we were hit with load shedding that led to a power outage of almost two hours. I am sure, I read somewhere in the hotel about banishing the inconvenience of load shedding which has been a problem in South Africa recently.

Serving the lights out

When the generators were switched on, only single lights in the apartments were powered, the sockets were dead and well, the emergency lightings and lifts were still operational.

This meant my laptop ran until it conked out, there was no television to watch, but the complimentary wireless Internet service was still operational. Going down to the restaurant, the tables had candlelight, this was not going to be a romantic dinner for one.

The waiter had torches and the kitchen had no hot food to offer. Not a situation I liked at all. I returned to my room to have biscuits when the reception were not as helpful as would have expected in helping me order a takeaway meal.

I was ready to go to bed on an empty stomach when the lights were restored, it gave me time to fix my South African phone and contemplate a second visit to the restaurant. After sitting for about 10 minutes, I got to remonstrate with the waiters to attend to me promptly before I got the service I went there for.

Trying for a pass

The starter I wanted yesterday was again not available today, but the mushroom soup starter and ostrich fillet main course appeared to make up for the unfortunate showing yesterday. By my rating, this is NOT a 5-star hotel, it does not even aspire to be anywhere near a good 4-star hotel either.

Yet, it might appear that I am blinkered by my First World problems mind-set, but knowing what comfort and convenience along with good customer service is, verdict comes in at below par, they are trying, but this leaves many of us in a quite trying situation, whether this redeemable, we’ll just have to see.

The day at work was ordinary and hectic, signing in myself, my computers and other extraneous activities and protocols that tested my patience almost to the point of exasperation. The indignities people suffer in these climes will not be attempted in Europe.

This is not us

However, it was visiting a venue where we engage a number of technical personnel down a convoluted contract chain that left me utterly appalled.

The room had no natural light, the air-conditioning was barely functions, and the air reeked of ozone emissions from an overcrowded computer building facility where the owners or the building had pasted signs prohibiting any kind of recording equipment for recording videos or photographs.

We were watched intently from each corner by cameras in what was essentially a sweatshop by generous assessment. It might have lacked sewing machines, but with my European eyes, I did not believe anyone should be working in those conditions.

More pertinently, I do not believe anyone engaged by my company to deliver the kind of critical infrastructure they deliver for us should be working in those conditions.

Use your leverage for good not for cost alone

It behoves my organisation it impress on the contractual chain to either move this activity to other premises, or make it more habitable. In the first 5 minutes, I was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

Yet, much as the people working there might not have the clout or say in determining the conditions in which they work, we should be ashamed of ourselves that some of my colleagues from the UK had seen these premises have never had the gumption to make this a matter of decency and dignity above the issue of cost.

This is why I hate politics in all its ramifications, from the government to the office, people are pandering and genuflecting, in personal quests for position and authority no matter whose ox is gored, forgetting their humanity and sense of empathy and compassion. It ought not be so, and I will be make representations to my line management to facilitate necessary change with the leverage we have got to make things good for those who are our partners, even if by an arm’s length, to making a success of what we do.

We owe them that much and much more, we lift people up not tread on them like grass, because whatever comes at the end of that, no matter how successful is done on the backs of others without and sense of nobility or honour. That is why, I am proud to be a European and I am proud of the values that has imparted to me and my world view.

Thought Picnic: Minded mindfulness, mindless mindlessness

A vile mind

I sometimes marvel at the machinations of the mind, the workhouse of activity too vast for expression in word and in deed.

This factory whose gates are closed to all but the principal is at its worst, a snake pit of poisoned prejudices, a cockroach haven of distaste, and a rat’s nest of disgust.

The things we see and hear that are processed in the mind yet tempered by good judgement in what we do is a sign of not only maturity, but of the unique advanced cognitive and reasoning capabilities of the human-being.

A managed mind

It is why we never really say what we are thinking or find ways to say what we are thinking in order not to cause offence or to be seen as stupid.

It is for this that many are grateful that whatever goes on in the mind usually stays in the mind, screened from prying eyes and disconnected from the presumed hacking genius of supposed mind-readers. Just the horror of having your mind read out aloud.

A better mind

At the same time, we are all capable of thinking better thoughts, of good, of niceness, of beauty, of consideration, of wisdom and of love. We can direct our thoughts in such a way that it does not dictate the wrong actions.

Yet, the mind is what it is, a factory whose function is only really known when the products come out at the end of the line.

The Gift

I have a gift

It dawns on me daily as I write that I have a gift, a great gift like talent put to my care, to tend, to nurture, to grow, to use, to do many things to the glory of my creator.

They call it cognitive dissonance, the idea that we believe what we cannot logically explain, inexplicable but wondrous. Yet all around us nature breathes miracles of order and disorder, my perspective not dimmed that as order prevails over disorder, each day is a blessing to be thankful for.

Unforced expression

I know the power of originality, the spontaneity of inspiration, the presence of flow that comes with each moment I set my fingers to my keyboard with a thought seeded in my mind and growing on my screen as if possessed of something beyond conscious arrangement.

For many a time, I have started with something and ended with something else, the direction like a boat on the water, resting on the rocking of the waves even though a rudder ensures we reach the place, the place called a destination.

The gift comes in the first draft, a rough diamond of a gem, if that draft is lost to the ravages, imperfections or careless use of technology, I am left with signs that a gift has been used but I can never reproduce that original stream of inspiration. My memory only recollects what it believes it has seen rather than what my brain has first processed, it remains a wonder when I read back to myself what I have done.

The talent

Yes, the gift shows up in many of the things I have written, that is because of use, it is not because it has been perfected but because there is a realisation that ability exists. God-given ability.

Then I confessed to a niece as I have confessed to a friend and maybe too many others in one way or the other about this gift. For it is not one that comes for the reason of money, of fame or of glory, for it brings something greater, it brings honour. I have learnt to be grateful for the absence of popular recognition but the abundance of honour from those who know and know it well.

“I am coming to the realisation that somehow I have been blessed with a gift, yet, like the one talent given to that servant, it has been buried for the fear that I might not use as well as I am supposed to.”

Such great honour

Each time I recognise the blessing of the gift I have, I feel like the servant who was given just one talent according to his ability.

I know I am no accomplished author, no distinguished writer, no recognised commentator, I would win no prizes, I would make no lists, but the gift has enduring quality. Buried as it seems to be, the talent has not increased like it increases for many whose talent feeds them, but its value is undiminished.

One talent, used for over 10 years, giving words to deep things of experienced life from the ordinary to the deep, from the joy to the pain, and now, I come into 2014 full of gratitude as I unearth this one talent and pledge not to be fearful and ungrateful, but to find ways to use it better and increase it.

To give voice to the voiceless, to give hope to the hopeless, to encourage those facing defeat, disease, despair, disgrace, debt, denigration, denudement and much else, for I know by experience and observation many of these things have tried to take cornerstones in my life, but have been smashed to smithereens.

As I began writing this, I was listening Steven Furtick of Elevation Church on the New Year’s Eve party and he said, “Count your battles* and consider them blessings.” @stevenfurtick

*The battles that didn't beat you

*The beatings that didn't break you.

This is God

This is beyond counting our blessings, and yes I have had battles, prominent amongst them is my battle with cancer in 2009. I have had many other battles and beyond measure I am blessed above anything I have ever deserved to wake up each morning to new life, to new hope, to new things and new inspiration.

That is grace, that is favour, that is mercy, that is kindness, that is love, and that is God.

Take it or leave it, believe it or not, because Albert Einstein is considered one of the greatest minds that ever lived, soon after he died, his brain was removed by Thomas Stoltz Harvey for analysis. Then, he did not think there was much special about the brain until recent science suggested differently. [NPR]

In the knowledge of 1955 pathology, that gray matter was no different from that which we all have except for what the man who lived in the body that had the brain did with it.

Know your gift

And so, as we realise the gifts bestowed on us, let us know to use them better for application, for usefulness, for increase, for good, for honour, for goodness, for humanity and for the glory of God, whether you believe or not.

The talent you have is useless when there is no life in the body that needs to utilise and express the wonder of the unique and amazing gift you have. Each of us is unique, as you can read from the stories shared on my #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series, 24 to date with 11 stories to go to commemorate my Decade of Blogging.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

Use your gift

This gift opens doors, as I was made to realise after discussing how I got 35 people out of 44 confirmed interactions to submit blogs from the 9^th of December to Christmas Day inclusive.

This without as much as a strict deadline but through sheer persuasion with the greatest latitude given them to write anything that takes their fancy. I am blessed, and I am thankful, full of gratitude the gift has not given me enough words to express yet.

You have a story, you have a gift, you are talented, let it shine. That is my resolution for 2014, to be as expressive as I can ever be of this amazing gift and bring increase to the talent placed in my care. My responsibility can no more be left to others to wonder why it is being wasted or being left unused. Think on this.

Happy New Year, Happy 2014.

Decade Blogs - Abubakar A. Musa - Challenging the humanity in us

Decade Blogs

One of the reasons why I gave everyone offering to contribute to my #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging free rein to write on whatever issue, topic or story that they like, was it opened a window into the diversity of our human existence.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

Indeed, I have loved reading the blogs that have showered underserved praise on me, but just because I provide a platform does not mean I should take the best seat. My job here is to introduce, to curate, to edit, to schedule and to publish – I do this with a great duty of responsibility that people would trust me with their opinions, a sense of honour that people would respond to my request to write for my blog and with deep gratitude and thanks for the many who have appreciated me enough write.

I wish I could say more about Abubakar A. Musa, I cannot, apart from some exchanges we have had on Twitter, but after reading this blog, I found this is someone I would love to meet, in gain and in pain, for a person whose eyes are open to the recognise the core of our humanity is the person that can be true in all things.

We have had five Popes in my lifetime, they have over their reigns done maybe significant things, but Pope Francis seems to have reached deeper into the soul of our humanity with his touching and simple compassion, he has become the Good Samaritan example of our times.

Blog - Pope Francis taking us back to the core of our humanity

Abubakar A. Musa brings to this page, many pictures of suffering, pain and grief, the vulnerabilities and frailties of our humanity and asks that we begin to understand what people go through, how it affects them and how it affects us. Most of all he asks us to visit the sick, offering comfort and succour to them. We must become considerately responsive with humaneness and our humanity.

I completely relate to this, I have been in a situation where a visit, a word, a touch, a smile, a hand was all I needed to ease the pain, if only for a while.

Blog - Thought Picnic: What the gravely ill need

Abubakar A. Musa, once had a blog, but he sometimes contributes to Omojuwa.com and AfricanLiberty.org and his Twitter handle is @blinkingam

Challenging the humanity in us

I was just a little under ten years old, my father held my hand and walked me through the various wards of the then, Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital Kaduna (now in Shika, Zaria). Ward after ward, bed after bed, lots of people lying down with relatives and love ones rendering their support and immortal comforts.

As we walked through, I saw certain family members in shatters and disarray. While some were trying to comfort others, many were in high degree tears. Poor me, my brain couldn't comprehend any bit of the actions of those people nor the ones that surrounded them. I decided not to remain silent by asking my father why those people were crying. I remember vividly, yes, I won't forget, how my dad shook his head and said to me “at this stage, you will never understand what they are going through.”

While walking through life, those words of his keep shaping my thoughts and actions. Each time I was to be taken, either as a patient or escort, to the hospital, the feeling of seeing people crying and or in pain always echoed loudly in my head. True, I've seen many others since, but being my first contact with such incidents and at my developmental stage of life, that first event was my greatest TURNING POINT.

Today, I clearly understand such feelings. Today, I know what it means to be lying on a sick bed battling for survival. Today, I totally comprehend what it means to lose a loved one, a close associate, a companion, and even an enemy. Ironically, it's today, after I can relate with such feelings and reflect on its effects upon the humanity, that such incidents are becoming more than regular to my eyes.

Every time I walk through our hospitals, public or private, the sympathy of human souls battling for existence always met my first step. From the less disturbing to the most severe ones, people screaming, others seeking comfort and some saying goodbye. At that stage, the words of my dad always reverberate in my head. But, unlike then, now I clearly understand what the sick ones are going through, and what the relatives of the recently died are also equally going through. Each time I find myself across certain wards of the hospital, the feelings aren't just frightening, but the core of my humanity is always shaken.

Going through the oncology ward, the sight of many Cancer patients will always make you weep, if only you're the strong type. Going through the special care units and special care baby units, infants that are yet to know the meaning of their existence and parents alike battling to exist against deathly ailments. Walking through the female, labour, and the obstetric/gynaecology wards are equally deeply painful and emotionally scary episodes. Mothers and primers trying to escape the sword of maternal mortality.

While some deliveries are as successful as Michael Jackson in the music industry, others end up with difficult complications leading to many kissing the world goodbye. At the anti-retroviral screening (ARS) centres, the story is less comforting. Depression upon depression, and the fear of stigmatization are well embedded on the faces of the usually many patients. Many couldn't just understand the meaning of life any longer while the few that could, end up facing the challenge of societal rejection.

Of all these, one needs a deep human perspective to understand what they and their relatives are going through. Unlike then, I do not need to ask anyone anymore, because now, I understand what they are going through. I understand their feelings and that of their love ones. I understand that life could be so cruel when you least expect it. I, now, understanding that no human soul is more important than any other. The words of my dad had made me to understand that no flesh is immune to illness much as no soul is immune to dying. But above all, my constant visitation of the sick ones has helped in shaping my positive reactionary human tendency.

Should anyone visit the above mentioned hospital wards and not feel touched to the core of their human compassion, such person should re-examine their human moral consciousness. Looking at my general looks, the healthy lifestyle I'd lived and still living, I feel much lucky as a person. In between, I'd fallen sick and might still do again, that I know. But I've every reason to be grateful for the journey so far.

If you find yourself healthy today, if you find yourself comfortable at this moment, irrespective of your past turmoil and challenges, cherish it, live it, enjoy it, and be grateful to your creator as well. But do remember, you aren't much wiser than those lying on the sick beds or those passing away every second.

It could easily be you on that sick bed, it could be you going through that pain, and it could have been you that passed away. Everyone would, at a point, go back to where we all came from. Reeling the feelings of good health today shouldn't becloud our trait of sympathy towards those being tested by nature.

We should be thankful to God for such opportunity and ensure regular hospital visitation to rewire our virtues of humanity. In the theory of relationships, there's always a point of first contact. Your visitation to hospitals today and fervent prayers could change some other person’s live. Challenge the other side of you and explore the virtue of humanity within your composite make up. This life is nothing but a test of our collective thoughts.

Thought Picnic: In the mists of the lost

Masts of mists

The thoughts wander marooned in the wildernesses of the mind, wells of knowledge and memory too deep to draw from that stretch to the limits of imagination only constrained by active engagement of the senses.

There have been good times and there have been bad times, they interweave and interleave with each other in recurrent clockwork motion as if there is a continued certainty that each time will have its time. The hour hand crawling through the bad times just as it races through the good times.

For he has walked the mountain tops and strode the plains, just as he has found his paths traversing the deep valleys under the gloom and dullness of life overcast by the sometimes terrifying shadow of death. Life cannot ebb out yet.

Lists of losts

Yet, it is life that he lives, not uncommon to many but precipitous and rocketing like the undulating frenetic adrenalin producing roller coaster given a name to strike fear in the hearts of those who drink lion’s blood for tea.

The day seems long, the future seems short, the hopes begin to fade and the hunger is all the more palpable because it was once three, then two and now one from dawn to dusk with the hope that ursine hibernation sets in to make it last until the next when the little left will do a little more.

For where is he a year on from that day, not much further, not much better, not much having, very much roaming and just another excavated mine of memories from which minerals are have been exhausted, he is faint in body but strong in mind and all he knows to do is bare his soul.

Thought Picnic: We cry in the eyes of goodness

A friend in the way

For probably 5 or 6 years he has stood at the entrance of the supermarket on the ground floor of my apartment block, sometimes dishevelled but with an easy disposition, friendly and amiably from the first time I saw him my heart just melted.

He sells magazines apparently priced to help the homeless, I have never really seen anyone buy a magazine off him, but he stands, greets and never begs or forces his wares on passers-by – on occasion someone has struck up a conversation with him.

Pass the Dutchie

The magazines are in Dutch and my grasp of Dutch is elevated to the level of Double-Dutch such that I could well read most of what I see but never get the context right – Dutch has a way of reusing the same words and ending up with completely different meanings, I am always stumped.

The other day, I wanted a steak, the Dutch menu happily announced kogelbiefstuk – the biefstuk part I got as beef steak but the kogel I know is bullet, as my brain went into overdrive as to how on earth bullets will end up in a beef steak and get presented as food, I dared to give voice to my confusion – how bullets and rump correlate is beyond me – I stopped wasting brain power on it and found that rump and round are used interchangeably for the same kind of steak – so I ordered my rounds of bullet-steak medium-rare and carried on with my life.

Plenty and little

In any case, my friend, yes, I will call him friend because I have chatted to him a few times, learnt of his birthday, found out how his circumstances were changing for him to get his place, his hopes, not necessarily desires but he was a man I knew had many needs that selling the magazines will not meet.

In the years of plenty, I easily parted with a €50 note each time I went shopping and saw him, though it did occur to me that for whatever immediate needs he might have, it would have been better to break it down into smaller denominations.

Then years of famine came where even I had very little, there were times when I only had a meal a day and for a person surviving cancer and on medication, it was dire, difficult and hard, but my friend in my heart seemed to still have greater needs than I, he must have noticed that what I parted with was a lot smaller, I sometimes prayed he would not be at the entrance to the supermarket because I had so little and literally nothing to spare, I could not face him with my situation but I believe he understood that if I did have to give, I would definitely share.

An opportunity to share

Today, I visited the supermarket again and he was there, I had not seen him for a while, I warmly greeted him and went about my shopping, I also consciously wanted to give him something even though I do not have that much.

I cannot say how many hours he had spent standing there but I have even in my own life learnt so well that there is someone out there concerned, involved, engaged and empathetic about me, none of which I can explain than to be grateful and thankful that the most desperate situations just seem to have amazing solutions wending their way towards me.

So, I palmed some money to him, we seem to have developed to concealed exchange which was good enough for me and then I told him I am leaving Amsterdam for good - again, maybe he put two and two together, I cannot say but there was a quick expression of two emotions I did not miss, one of sadness as to why I had to leave and one of thankfulness for what we have shared – his voice trembled as he just about stopped himself from crying.

Floods of kindness

He grabbed my hand and shook it very warmly, wishing me well with whatever I go on to do. At the same time, I saw myself in him, in great need, almost desperate, almost destitute but always blessed for the people who cross my path with gifts, grace, favour and much more – I have many a time been lost for words as I have been overwhelmed with amazing goodness from other people.

It is like when I am at my wit’s end I begin to experience a flood of kindness that I am fully aware that nothing I could have done could have created what makes me smile, laugh, cry and give thanks – there is love in this world beyond compare and people who just give, give and give to give hope, to give happiness, to give joy, to give peace and to meet somewhat insurmountable needs.

Today, I learnt anew, the joy of giving and the joy of receiving all at the same time and because of the way some things work I believe that someone somewhere will fill in the gap created by my absence because my friend has an angel just as I do.