South Africa: Enter the soapbox European

We expect and intend

One thing that fills me with pride as a European is the embracing sense of humanity that we tend to have that tends to seek to treat others with respect and dignity. Sometimes, in our rush to help situations we might miss out on essential elements of custom, tradition, beliefs, setting or understanding that could make our intrusiveness and interventions in the quest for the greater good unwelcome. We mean well, even if we are naïve.

I have a tendency to carry around my European world-view wherever I go and where I do observe situations I find somewhat intolerable, you will find me doing something about it.

I returned to my hotel to meet a sense of unhelpfulness that I tolerated until we were hit with load shedding that led to a power outage of almost two hours. I am sure, I read somewhere in the hotel about banishing the inconvenience of load shedding which has been a problem in South Africa recently.

Serving the lights out

When the generators were switched on, only single lights in the apartments were powered, the sockets were dead and well, the emergency lightings and lifts were still operational.

This meant my laptop ran until it conked out, there was no television to watch, but the complimentary wireless Internet service was still operational. Going down to the restaurant, the tables had candlelight, this was not going to be a romantic dinner for one.

The waiter had torches and the kitchen had no hot food to offer. Not a situation I liked at all. I returned to my room to have biscuits when the reception were not as helpful as would have expected in helping me order a takeaway meal.

I was ready to go to bed on an empty stomach when the lights were restored, it gave me time to fix my South African phone and contemplate a second visit to the restaurant. After sitting for about 10 minutes, I got to remonstrate with the waiters to attend to me promptly before I got the service I went there for.

Trying for a pass

The starter I wanted yesterday was again not available today, but the mushroom soup starter and ostrich fillet main course appeared to make up for the unfortunate showing yesterday. By my rating, this is NOT a 5-star hotel, it does not even aspire to be anywhere near a good 4-star hotel either.

Yet, it might appear that I am blinkered by my First World problems mind-set, but knowing what comfort and convenience along with good customer service is, verdict comes in at below par, they are trying, but this leaves many of us in a quite trying situation, whether this redeemable, we’ll just have to see.

The day at work was ordinary and hectic, signing in myself, my computers and other extraneous activities and protocols that tested my patience almost to the point of exasperation. The indignities people suffer in these climes will not be attempted in Europe.

This is not us

However, it was visiting a venue where we engage a number of technical personnel down a convoluted contract chain that left me utterly appalled.

The room had no natural light, the air-conditioning was barely functions, and the air reeked of ozone emissions from an overcrowded computer building facility where the owners or the building had pasted signs prohibiting any kind of recording equipment for recording videos or photographs.

We were watched intently from each corner by cameras in what was essentially a sweatshop by generous assessment. It might have lacked sewing machines, but with my European eyes, I did not believe anyone should be working in those conditions.

More pertinently, I do not believe anyone engaged by my company to deliver the kind of critical infrastructure they deliver for us should be working in those conditions.

Use your leverage for good not for cost alone

It behoves my organisation it impress on the contractual chain to either move this activity to other premises, or make it more habitable. In the first 5 minutes, I was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

Yet, much as the people working there might not have the clout or say in determining the conditions in which they work, we should be ashamed of ourselves that some of my colleagues from the UK had seen these premises have never had the gumption to make this a matter of decency and dignity above the issue of cost.

This is why I hate politics in all its ramifications, from the government to the office, people are pandering and genuflecting, in personal quests for position and authority no matter whose ox is gored, forgetting their humanity and sense of empathy and compassion. It ought not be so, and I will be make representations to my line management to facilitate necessary change with the leverage we have got to make things good for those who are our partners, even if by an arm’s length, to making a success of what we do.

We owe them that much and much more, we lift people up not tread on them like grass, because whatever comes at the end of that, no matter how successful is done on the backs of others without and sense of nobility or honour. That is why, I am proud to be a European and I am proud of the values that has imparted to me and my world view.

Essential Snobbery 101: Anticipated Consideration

A window on our world

This morning, as I got on the train to work, I was offered a view on society that had brought expectations and personality into focus.

Expectations of others and the personality of people, both of myself and the other person involved in the incident. It got me thinking about how things are changing and why some things have come to stay.

Feet off

The schoolboy who could be no more than 12 years old was sitting on a 3-seater, his bag and classical musical instrument case occupying the whole space, and then he had his shod feet on the seat in front of him.

Nothing particularly annoys me as much as people who put their feet on seats, especially where there are clear signs that feet should not be put on seats. Besides, even if they do take their feet off the seats, it is not like they make an effort to clean off the dirt they might have put on those seats.

So, I motioned with my cane and intensified that with a scowl for him to take his feet off the seat. I brushed it off and took my seat. Hardly a minute after that, he decided it was too much for him, so he moved to another seat in the train carriage.

As he settled in that seat, I said to him, putting his feet on the seat was anti-social behaviour, and it was important that he knew that, even if he did not like the fact that it was being pointed out to him.

Anticipated consideration

Yet, in that little encounter was a whole set of narratives. A public school-educated boy who had exercised a sense of entitlement in a public space without what I might call ‘anticipated consideration’ and, when challenged, expressed rebellious dissent by moving away.

Anticipated consideration is when, as in this case, you know that you do not put your feet on seats others might want to use, and you do not occupy more seats than you have paid to occupy, especially when the train or vehicle is still at a major boarding port, like a terminal train station. It is having consideration for others long before it is demanded of you to consider and adjust.

Rebellious dissent, however, is the case where, rather than acknowledge that you are wrong with contriteness and apology, you take evasive action to avoid proximity with the challenger of your behaviour.

The fear of challenge

I dare say, we now live in a society where, sadly, many young people will not brook any scolding or correction, and those who dare challenge bad behaviour run the risk of coming to harm by such people lashing out in aggravated resentment. We have a delicate balance to manage between wanting right and yet being fearful of demanding things be done right.

The question is, if as a society we, for the fear of retribution, maintain silence rather than challenge anti-social behaviour, what kind of society will we have?

The other nuanced narrative is in assumptions and appearances, as this young man was a day student at a public school in Hale, there are general expectations of behaviour and conduct. Whilst entitlement is drilled into their psyche, comportment has a particular importance because it moderates behaviour in polite society and defines the quality of integrity, which is what you do when nobody is watching.

Maybe I was a bit harsh

Much as I would like to explore this further, it is best left for now, because it will reflect on not just the school, but on the parenting too. Suffice it to say that having a classical instrument case does not necessarily suggest one has class or has been schooled in the decorum that pertains to performing for sophisticated audiences.

On my part, I thought about my attitude to anticipated consideration and my acceptance of the inconvenience of rebuke when I have been wrong, and I might have been a tad sterner with the schoolboy because he could easily have been one of my youngest sons.

When I was his age, I would never have done what he did, and surely, as another black man, yes, we shared the same racial profile, we are a lot better behaved than this, especially if we have the benefit of a privileged education.

Essential Snobbery 101: Look back in anger

All the loo roles

I know I like to play with alliterations, and a visit to a place downstairs just had me wondering how beneath the veneer of faux-respectability of people milling around, as co-workers are habits that leave much to be desired.

The loo, lavatory, latrine, ladies, toilet, gents, bog, urinal, cottage, water closet (WC) or convenience is a somewhat private place for movements and activity nature intended.

That we have found systems to manage and handle the different deposits is credit to creativity and ingenuity of man to bring elements of sophisticated, yet understated finesse to the handling of foul substances.

Noticing notices of note

Once upon a time, to evacuate really did mean to let things go from the bowels, but now, it is mostly used to mean getting people out of a building, especially out of dangerous buildings or vehicles.

There are things that are expected in these places that people do not feel disposed to do, and you end up reading notices like, “Please leave this place as you will like to find it” or “Please wash your hands”.

I would like to see in the men’s urinals notices that say, “Please do not spit your chewing gum into the urinal, ureic acid does not dissolve chewing gum, and furthermore, chewing gum is not biodegradable.” Men reading this will fully understand what I mean. I don’t chew gum.

Just clean up after you

Now, I cannot say why toilet bowls are white in most cases, but white is an implicit revelation of otherness when some things are not done. Especially when there is the option to flush the toilet and a toilet brush to help, “Please leave this place as you will like to find it” – I guess this notice implicitly suggests anyone visiting a toilet expects to find it clean, no matter how many other visitors have been before, if they all clean up after use.

I swore under my breath when the revelation on white was so unmissable, the earlier user could only have been so uncultured to have taken his anti-social skills back to the day of the Palaeolithic man. Whilst someone is paid to clean up after our mess, I do not think this was the kind of mess they were engaged to clean up.

That I can promptly lose respect for those who cannot look back in anger and ensure the next person looks in with a smile is my way of putting a four-letter word into a blog.

Please, always look back in anger when you have done your thing and “Please leave this place as you will like to find it. Thank you.”

I suggest Spatial-Consideration Intelligence

The rules I break

I believe I have broken a few rules as I remember the words of one of Anita Baker’s songs – She is probably my best musician artiste, “Rules were meant to be broken,” she first says, then you goes on the say, “So many hearts break the same way too, aw baby, I said that you ain't no exception to the rule, yes sir.”

The rules I have broken are mainly the unwritten ones, the ones I have read or can still remember as instruction even if irritating to the point of awakening that streak of rebelliousness in me, I have rarely dared to infringe.

Now, I do not intend to speak about broken hearts, but the taking the exception to the rule or rules does concern me. I love order, I like to see order around, order especially when I leave my home for whatever activity I have purposed to do or just happened to find myself in.

In the way

Starting with stepping out of my front door and not having to ask someone who has inadvertently felt my doorstep is the place to take a standing nap. Then I get on the street and some friends all decide to walk abreast, which is fine but in their chatting excitement become oblivious of others that you either have to alert them or step dangerously onto the street.

That simple element of awareness which should be a rule written on the fleshy tablets of the heart and branded fierily on the jellies of the cranial grey matter, yet so carelessly ignored. People who knowing it is a doorway and take up the space constricting access.

I’ve seen too many instances of the absence of intelligent engagement of the spaces we occupy too, like finding myself in queues when I was in India and having the person behind me pressing against my person for no particular reason that thankfully my towering height helped when I bellowed down at the person, “Hold your space.”

Know your space

I can remember when I touched the man in front of me in a pub and apologised that I could not put my feet in a bag, after he stepped on my toes. A very strange situation where my size 12 feet (European size 46) knows full well not to egress in the pied-à-terre (literally, space for the feet) of others and then to find someone with much shorter feet unaware of where their feet should be.

Space is probably a European concept more than it is for any other place, but I am probably in error when I realise that queues were not the kind of order to find in the Netherlands, it drove me to distraction and brought out the most English of annoyances in me.

You could not get off a train comfortably because everyone wanted to get on, yet, we need to get off for others to get off. That is where my cane sometimes made a violent acquaintance with the shins of others and behold the way opened before me without obstruction.

Consideration and deportment

Public transport does provide a test case for those who are literally spatially ignorant, people who take up more seats than they should or create impediments to others getting access to other seats especially by putting their bags on the seats, worse still is those who put their feet on the seats despite the fact that there are notices clearly saying they should not.

People who bring their caterwauling music unto public spaces who in their enjoyment create the greatest irritation to others, a total lack of consideration, I say. Then, being a cane user, you can imagine when I get on the London Underground and find that able-bodied people have made a beeline for the priority seats and completely ignore the aged, the infirm, the pregnant or the mobility assisted. Those seats are not for them, that is why the signs are put there.

Other views of space

Space is a matter of dimensions and different dimensions of occupancy, manner, appearance and attitude which demands awareness and consideration. The consideration that if everyone else did what I was doing, what would the world be like.

Literally no public seat is safe from the halitosis-ridden oral excrements of chewing gum that you never venture the underneath of a wooden armrest or under the seat, forget the number of pavements with gum and cigarette butts. The former should be banned as they have so done in Singapore.

It manner of dressing is the being assault in public with the sight of cack-ridden undergarments that should be covered up in this rotten fashion trend of sagging trousers. Beyond that, it is those forget to dress for the body they have and end up dressing for what they want their bodies to be – uncouth and unsightly, you almost think you should wear a sick bag like a colostomy bag at the things that things that invade the sanctity of the senses.

Public decorum

Forget those who do not take a seat to make a call or sent a text message on their mobile phones, so unaware that what they think is walking in a straight line is anything but, some have met great mishap as a result when they divorce themselves from the personal responsibility of knowing that each person being aware of the other and acting accordingly is part of the order we all crave in society and community.

Use the bins, press the button if you are first at the pedestrian crossing lights, stand out of the way, give way to others less able to manoeuvre, be courteous, polite and considerate, the list goes on about how I love things to be and what really piques me.

Defining this intelligence

As I thought about this, I was about to give this sense of awareness and consideration on the matter of space, Spatial Quotient as an additional form of measuring intelligence along with Intelligence Quotient (IQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) only to find that Spatial Intelligence is quite a broad field of study amongst other types of intelligence, in what is known as the theory of multiple intelligences, so I back to square one.

Having looked at the nine intelligences listed and the descriptions that follow, for musical–rhythmic, visual–spatial, verbal–linguistic, logical–mathematical, bodily–kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential. I am not convinced this one or a combination of some of these properly address the element of spatial awareness and intuitiveness that I have raised in this blog.

Giving well, taking little

And back to the lyrics I introduced at the beginning of this blog, there is an element of the absence of this intelligence that is expressed in, “So many times we don't give, we take…” whereas, society works on various levels of giving and taking to different degrees that are usually never equal.

I am tempted to suggest, Spatial-consideration intelligence, however, it probably requires more academic rigour from behavioural experts to properly define this or extend the meanings of the previously defined categories.

Space matters, the giving of it, the giving up of it, the taking of it and taking it with clear consideration of others too.

Thought Picnic: A menacing annoyance of mobile phone abuse

Landing the mobile

I have no problems with people who need to keep in contact with family, friend, colleague, partner or whatever form of relationship defines the need to communicate.

The ubiquity of the mobile phone has offered opportunities once not possible a few decades ago.

Though, then, you probably made conversation in private, out of earshot in a room, a phone booth or an office.

I however still have the mindset of needing to take mobile phone calls undistracted.

Presence of thought

If away from home, I would find a place to sit down to chat. On the very rare situations where I take calls without sitting down, I would most likely be taking directions on how to get to some place.

What I find so irksome is people who do not realise how distracting taking a call on the street can be.

It is almost impossible to given equal attention to a telephone conversation and your surroundings.

Driving to distraction

Studies have shown that concentration is impaired by the distraction of a mobile phone call which can be dangerous for essential reaction when driving but also dangerous for being unaware of ones surroundings.

Wikipedia - Mobile phones and driving safety

Forbes - Science Proves That Cell Phones Are Annoying and Distracting

Yet people do fool themselves into thinking they are in control when clearly from observation they are not.

They are slower to react, slower walking, usually don’t walk in a straight line, more expectant of others not to bump into them as they walk along being carried by the flow of the crowd.

Vexed by texting

There are times I have scolded some to put away their phones as the try to mount stairs, get on escalators or board vehicles.

Those who send SMS messages are worse as they tap or scribble away on their devices ensconced in that world and completely oblivious of others.

A menace indeed

They are a public menace beyond mere annoyance consumed with a yearning that lacks restraint as the moment lost in having consideration of others is an eternity lost forever.

Indeed some things need urgent attention but not at the expense of being controlled, ordered and particularly considerate.

That is what I look for in people without having to demand they recognise where they are.

Thought Picnic: Yet I Celebrate My Handicaps As Signposts Of Thankfulness

The heat of a seat

Vulnerability is what defined today for me, and this to a point that I risked self-pity before I dusted it off as life, and life just happens.

I just about boarded my train and found a comfortable space to seat when the announcement came that the train that had rolled into the platform was in fact not the train I wanted and that another was expected before this left the platform.

There was no need to rush but the crowd had gathered for the other train that the choice priority seats were taken by the able-bodied as is usually the case in London where they ignore clearly labelled seats before they ignore people who clearly need those seats.

At the next stop, people with bicycles got on, four in all, and as the third man tried to fit his bicycle in, you could see he was annoyed that I was sat where I was, completely oblivious of why I did sit there.

Unseen to the mean

Sadly, the pleasure of being picked up in the morning was lost to circumstances beyond my control that I had to queue up for the free bus ride to the office. When the bus arrived, the driver got off to tuck my luggage in the luggage compartment, and as luck would have it, the first seat was occupied by someone who felt the seat next to him was best used by his bag.

No, people with apparent mobility problems are somewhat invisible and thereby not catered for or responded to with consideration or dignity most of the time, so haltingly, I made my way to the back of the bus, where in my more able-bodied state, I would have offered my seat closer to the front to someone who was now how I appeared to get around.

Every excuse to refuse

At the reception, I had hoped the situation would get better but compelling security requirements meant that the receptionist just had every unhelpful excuse even after being informed that I use a cane, I almost waved my cane in remonstration, and my office was on the second floor up two flights of stairs.

Bottling up my emotion, I apologised for expecting any help and eventually lugged my stuff up to my office, and when I closed from work, I did that same again, with effort but maintaining my dignity.

Yet, when we were picked up for our induction session that morning, the leader raced off ahead and by the time I knew it, being the third out of the door, I ended up the last as I quipped, we are never noticed are we? The man ahead of me then considerately decided to take up the rear as we arrive in the conference room, much later than when everyone had settled down.

The day passed without the company of my colleague, but I met up with acquaintances for lunch as I occupied the day with going through documentation and installation until the day darkened.

A bright dot on a blind spot

Knowing I had to walk to the bed and breakfast inn, I left with little light to spare, but I was aware that the road to the inn could be enveloped in pitch black darkness.

I had to contact GoogleMaps to be sure of where to go only to realise that I had to cross a road at a point where cars travelling at speed came round two blind spots that it was more their lights I needed to be out of sight because I really cannot judge distance from me and the approaching speed of a vehicle to be able to cross a road safely.

That was a 10-minute wait, and it could have been longer as I reflected on the favours I have enjoyed and how I could easily find myself in a very vulnerable spot if the help I had before taken for granted was not forthcoming.

For to be seen by the keen

Nevertheless, whilst momentarily, one has scope for self-pity, one still needs to get on because the world just gets on with being the world with or without you.

It was made more palpable when during the induction we were shown a DVD on fire safety which featured a lady with crutches who needed help, but was obstructed by things that had fallen over in her pathway, it took a while for someone to have the presence of mind to help her.

It is important that one recognises what one can do, where there is a danger or the risk of such, know those who would be concerned for more than themselves to be aware of others and their surroundings to lend a hand when needed.

An attitude of gratitude

I can only feel for those who are less able than I am in settings where people are less considerate and in buildings that are not fitted for accessibility. We need to get on with our lives regardless, and these little indignities would hopefully take no greater significance in our lives than as fodder for a raconteur.

We would live as independently as we can, with patience, with determination, with deliberate effort and stoicism whilst being thankful for the thoughtful, the mindful and the helpful. Thank you for your Good Samaritan humanity.

Thought Picnic: Giving Them A Good Piece Of My Mind

A piece of my mind

Seeing a psychologist gives you the opportunity to speak your mind without prejudice and that is what I did when we met this afternoon.

I relayed to her what happened with regards to meeting with her, the social worker, the doctor and Lewisham Housing Services, then I spoke of my expectations making clear comparisons with experiences I had with similar circumstances in The Netherlands.

The gaping holes in the safety net

The fact is the system for handling exceptional cases like mine where I do not seem to fit into pre-defined categories, but have a compelling case worthy of assessment and consideration is disjointed, incoherent and basically a mess.

New Year's Considerations

Greetings

To all my readers, friends, well-wishers and not to forget my detractors – I bear you no ill – I wish the very best of 2008 – the dawning of a new year bring the realisation of hopes, the strength to meet great challenges and a willingness to end the year well beyond what you have ever thought you could achieve.

Consideration not resolution

I was chatting to my friend who came over from England who smokes like a chimney, even Santa Claus would refuse to be blackened by the soot in this vertical tunnel – he had no resolution to stop smoking but he had consideration.

I have long opined that resolutions are too strong a stricture to apply to our weak will-power and resolve, however, maybe considerations are better.

You can break a resolution but a consideration means you are thinking about it without the self-flagellation and self-loathing that accompanies being unable to do what you "resolved" to do.

My considerations

And so, I have a few considerations, first of which is to manage the issue of my romantic failures, I have been unfortunate in relationships in 2007 – I know what I do not want in a relationship, but as usual one gets confused about what one wants in a relationship – I am learning.

I have a gym membership that has been running for years, maybe it is time to visit, you used a palm-print and pin-code which showed your picture to get through the turnstiles, hopefully, my palm has not evolved into a non-descript identity-less fossil – that would put paid to one area of forensics.

Professionally, there are a few irons in the fire including the possibility of a new role at the company where I am a consultant – we should see how that pans out by the end of the month. Meanwhile, I might get on the certification track of Microsoft again, after 9 years – just for the fun of it.

Blogging, not an English word

Blogging would continue as usual and hopefully with more vigour and enthusiasm, sometimes one is caught up in blog-think but unable to write anything down – been having too many of those lately, might have to try writing shorter blogs; that would be difficult.

I am surprised that blog, blogging & blogger have yet to make it into the standard English dictionaries of word processors – they must be lagging behind the times.

Finally, without having asked the permission of my outrageously handsome baby-face brother – Gosh! I’m jealous – He sent me a text message written in SMS-English but I would transcribe it to traditional parlance – to wish me a Merry Christmas and I cannot but share his words here.

Be it,

Climbing to Attain,

Running to Obtain,

Walking to Retain,

Or Standing to Maintain,

You shall be extraordinarily distinguished,

Amongst Millions.

A few more of those people on earth and what a wonderful place this blessed planet would be. Thank you brother, love you lots.

Happy New Year! Everyone – Hopefully, you have all recovered from the excess of the two nights before, if not, you need a resolution more than you need a consideration.