Essential Snobbery 101: The Etiquette of Getting Caught

The Art of Discretion

If one were to court controversy, one could say that infidelity is congenital or consanguineous, but rarely learnt or taught. The debate around that is for another forum.

However, the tendency to stray must surely come with the essential common sense of, first and foremost, not rubbing your partner's nose in it. This means according those liaisons the respect of keeping them at a distance, and being as discreet as you possibly can in order to avoid getting caught.

History, as I have read it, would suggest that the Victorians and Edwardians who kept mistresses made sure their spouses were not disadvantaged in dignity, position, attention, or latitude. It was usually a case of knowing without feeling threatened.

A Cautionary Commotion

What I cannot abide are those who break the rules in wholly unforgivable ways, such as placing their matrimonial bed at the very centre of the travesty whilst hoping not to get caught. What on earth are you thinking? The follow-up question is unprintable.

I was once privy to a narrative relayed to me of a commotion that brought the police to a home, the cacophony having included the shattering of glass, and whatever else might have been flung, in both words and objects, when a hapless fool was caught in the act.

His wife had gone away and was not expected back until the weekend; she returned the previous night, however, only to find her husband canoodling with another woman. There is no need for a graphic replay, at the risk of sensationalising the matter with the aplomb of a village rag.

A Failure to Plan

There must be a reason why she did not telephone ahead to forestall what might have been her suspicions of something untoward. Some people spare themselves the possibility of such situations by making allowances, in the spirit of "out of sight is out of trouble".

He, however, in his careless and carefree manner, played the oily mouse whilst the cat was away. He should have planned his rendezvous for a motel, or somewhere far from home, yet he did not.

Stepping back to view this from an objective angle, the effrontery and audacity required to bring someone else home should always have come with the forward planning of a number of things. First, an alert system that detects proximity, so as to avoid an encounter. Then, easy sequestration, should your spouse enter the house when there is no chance of escape.

Hiding the Evidence

You cannot put the interloper on the window ledge outside if you are on the tenth floor, especially if that was not intended as a final goodbye. Slipping them under the bed, behind the curtain, or into the wardrobe are far too common as places to hide, and so to be found. Just roll a bottle under the bed; if it does not come out the other end, take a look.

Someone suggested the oven or the fridge, which left me thinking of the double-jointed contortionist who performs at the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront in Cape Town, doing such unimaginable things with his body that the spectacle is too suggestive for a polite audience, and yet impossible to look away from.

Perhaps the clothes basket could help, and what you would need next is a snake charmer to play the pungi as your quarry wriggles to the swaying hypnotism of the sound, lifting the lid of the basket and unleashing the scandal that would ensue. You may not be prepared for the confessions.

If you do not have a number of well-planned escape routes, no amount of explaining would extricate you from a complex situation that would serve as entertainment for your neighbours, and inspiration for this very piece. You got caught, pants down, and the only thing you might ever salvage is your dear life, by the skin of your teeth.

A Google NotebookLM AI Podcast on this blog

Brick on Brick, Without a Plan

The Art of Communication

The art of communication is one that should never be left without nurture. It is a skill I have honed since childhood, when making myself heard, and hopefully understood, mattered.

I know the many times in my working life when being articulate, honest, truthful, clear, and detailed about ideas, events, or situations has been the difference between staying put and being walked out of the door with alacrity.

Conflict and the Power of Words

Conflict leers around the office or the workplace, where genuine engagement can easily slide into belittlement and being patronised. Both could be mistaken for compliments, only to be turned into something backhanded or used to upbraid you.

Besides that, there are the power plays and egos, where choosing your words carefully can significantly change the tone of an exchange. Drawing on a wealth of vocabulary with studied deployment is hardly putting the quality of your education to waste.

Finding the Right Analogy

When the going gets tough, and it usually does, finding the correct analogy to depict a situation becomes the best tool to deploy.

Consider a scenario where a user expected us to exhaust every avenue to determine why his anticipated long-running script terminated after two hours, even though nothing on the system had changed.

I posited that when a washing machine does not complete a wash cycle, you explore issues with the device, the water supply, or the connection to the mains; you do not ask for a building inspection.

That thought came to me as I finished taking a shower.

A Managerial and Political Issue

This afternoon, I was met with a complex managerial and political issue. For all my protestations about the guidelines, framework, and structure needed to govern a process that I felt left us exposed, all management wanted was for us to do something, anything, first, before addressing concerns that would fill reams of paper dating back to July last year.

After I had answered a series of questions, the activity was cherry-picked out of a larger case for correct procedure and directed towards a decision to be enforced.

In what I could only term a dare to challenge authority and face the consequences of stepping out of line, the manager, now assuming control where earlier they had failed to provide support, asked on the Microsoft Teams group chat:

The Challenge on Teams

"Everyone, anyone here unhappy with the approach?"

He might as well have said, "Anyone up for a fight? I'm here to bludgeon you."

I was dissatisfied, but this required tact, and there came the inspiration for another analogy.

The Bricklayer Analogy

"To put it another way, we are the bricklayers, and you want a house for which no architect has been engaged to design and no structural engineer has assessed. We are just putting brick on brick and hoping we end up with a shelter everyone can use."

As bricklayers, we know what houses should look like, but without a plan, a lot can go wrong. My job is to paint the picture; how you appreciate that work of art is beyond my ability to dictate, but the work has been done.

It will sink in somehow, and the message will not be lost in the morass of politicking and power plays.

Eloquence as Construction, Not Evasion

Let me be clear about one thing: eloquence here is not a tool of evasiveness. It is the means by which I explain and construct a clear narrative of the risk profile of an activity, one that could lead to penalties, the loss of professional reputation, or a negative impact on business operations and the user community.

Knowledge shared through such communication exposes the blind spots and pitfalls that are usually not taken into consideration.

Nor is this a matter of perfecting a process. There is no process. What we have is a range of assumptions that have not been properly tested or validated, yet are forced into implementation by expediency.

There is a further purpose to all this. By communicating in this way, one is also documenting the issues, so that when the matter of responsibility for any action arises, the points made earlier will show that management was informed and chose to act against the identified risks they had been asked to appreciate.

Experience Speaks for Itself

Many of us might hold junior roles in the multilayered hierarchy of the organisation, but never confuse our positions with a lack of maturity.

After 40 years in this business, where this is probably one of the least significant roles I have held in 30 years, I think I know a fair amount about management, and about being managed, and about getting a point across without equivocation.

We didn't just start at this yesterday.

A Google NotebookLM AI Podcast on this blog

Thought Picnic: In showing is the shown showed

Preparing enough for things

Preparation can easily become the excuse we use for not getting some things done. Decisions on what needs to be done and how to get it done whilst trying to ensure once the process has started, it is not impeded by some unintended issue or circumstances.

How this can so quickly exacerbate procrastination is another thing we rarely acknowledge. A task suddenly seems onerous and the path to accomplishment literally insurmountable. The journey of a thousand miles never gets started because we see the thousand miles ahead rather than begin with the first step and see how each step brings us closer to our destination.

Indeed, we must prepare for the obvious even as the clichéd saying sounds in my ear as I write, “Those who fail to prepare, prepare to fail.” Some knowledge and insight is useful, experience gained from different sources can help too.

Accomplishment must be the goal

The direction of travel should be towards some achievement or accomplishment, bringing things to conclusion or completion would show that whatever effort has been applied to something has something tangible at the end.

Our thoughts are vehicles of many ideas that may never see reality, yet it is our ability to imagine that gives the foundations to the things we build or produce.

The power of the imagination to create worlds of fantasy that become fantastic worlds lived in, is one feature of humanity we fail to exploit and even when we know how the divine can bring to pass the apparently impossible, we limit ourselves to the perfunctory, lost in dreamland with wishes rather than faith.

Showing shows completed activity

The other day, I saw someone with such big ears. I was afraid my thoughts about the ears might be heard by them. I tried not to consider that possibility even if it could be scripted into a science fiction fantasy film with interesting or thrilling storylines.

Then, the many stories or things we have written that never left the draft stage, they are in an incomplete state, they represent activity without accomplishment. We can be satisfied something was done but there is nothing to show others that we have done anything. It is like an assignment done but not submitted for scoring. You cannot get grades for work not given up for vetting.

Likewise, a blog not published is well, not a blog, because no one knows what you have done until it is shown for others to see. So many lights hidden under a bushel, talents buried instead of flourishing makes the reticence to show what you have the gift of not entirely one of shyness that we assume we have but it could also be seen as in the parable of the talents in terms of the unprofitable servant too. {Bible Gateway: Matthew 25:14-30 (NKJV)]

Fleeting thoughts on expectation

The force of expectation

Expectation is a force and when involved with a plan set in motion, it is a powerful force of motivation, optimism, and hope. It sets your sights on a goal and mentally you begin to prepare yourself and everything for that thing.

When this is aligned with the spirit of love, more happens in terms of disposition and feelings, you just have this strong belief that something good is in the air as the countdown towards day, event, rendezvous, and person closes in on you.

Time in its fluidity of being distant and then close works its wonders as it progresses to a set point where things converge in the fulfilment of that expectation. If anything, in the actionable things of life and living, it is good to plan, set expectations, and work towards something. It helps focus and perspective, burnishes hope and enlivens things that give you a sense that things would be alright, for as they come to pass, we add to life's compendium of cherished moments.

I am wholly gratified that we have the means, opportunity, and the good fortune to live a life of great expectations, and long may this rejuvenation of circumstances happen.

Thought Picnic: Knowing where you are from where you imagine you are

Cool this thing down

I remember attending an interview decades ago for a role that honestly paid peanuts with the European Space Agency, it was nothing as promising as if I were invited to work or even do an internship at NASA, the two men in weather-worn suits probably blasted too many times by solar flares and moon dust posed questions to which I responded earnestly and knowledgeably, but I somehow did not impress them.

When the agency got back to me, the report was, I was too laid back, I think I saw that more as a compliment than a criticism, my thinking was, if I was involved in putting a rocket under someone to send them out to space, we need cool heads, not hotheads. In fact, I take pride in being professionally laid back and that does not mean being lazy.

Easy on the busy

I just do not like to be carried away by the clamour and the tumult that surrounds issues, problems, or emergencies at work. We need to be able to stand back to see what is going on, gather our thoughts and methodically approach the issue. After applying ourselves for a full day at work, I would rather we return early the next day after a good break with fresh heads and ideas, beavering away overnight is the stuff of diminishing returns. Lots of activity and no achievement.

It is probably a temperament thing, usually observed at work, but applicable to other areas of my life, I can anticipate, but I do not fret; I could be concerned, but refrain from worrying; when it seems, a situation is getting too much, I would go to bed instead and sleep it over. The things I can control I apply myself to, and the things I at the time am clueless about, I can accept as my contemporaneous incapacity or infirmity, if things change for the better, that is fine, otherwise, we move on.

You are where you are

I guess the way I view things is only to cross the bridge when I am at the bridge, if I am still on the journey to the bridge, there might be circumstances where, in encounter or in realisation, the bridge is just one option out of many to choose from, in which case, it might be easier to ford, to swim, or to ferry, you might even avoid having to cross any obstacle to your destination. You have to know where you are from where you imagine or fear you are.

We are given the moment with all the vicissitudes of life and uncertainty to already deal with, success and progress with that particular moment can determine how well the rest of your journey goes. Like in the game of chess, much as you can think 10 moves ahead, you cannot play the 10 moves in a go.

Be ready and able to change tack

You have to play your move and your opponent play theirs, their move might not have been accounted for in your analysis and then you have to recalibrate the whole strategy you have towards winning the game in which you might well get beaten, no matter how good your imagined 10 moves ahead were.

This applies to many things in life, for the preparation, anticipation, and orderliness in the things we have planned, we need to make allowances for sudden or progressive alterations that could be quite impactful and outside our control. This is not to say we are then helpless against fate, not by the kind of intellect, initiative, and intuitiveness that we have been gifted, we are adaptable, applying ourselves with a good understanding of when a scalpel, a blade, a knife, or a sword is needed.

That is a skill that comes from learning, experience, expertise, mentoring, or just sheer luck, it does not matter, we keep living because we are living and, in the process, write a better story of how we have lived. Selah!

Cape Town reflections: To the point of embrace

With every hope to do

A time to reflect on my recent journey to Cape Town, for this visit for a rendezvous with Brian had been in consideration from the time I returned in mid-January 2021, but the pandemic with its many waves and Coronavirus variants kept everything at bay.

As the year drew to a close, I had at least two essential things to do before I could plan to travel, my biannual consultation was already scheduled for the last week in October and coming due in the second week of November was my vaccine booster shot after which it looked like there was a clear way ahead to plan for the break.

I planned on a 6-week break and had diligently informed them at work about my plans for which a stand-in was recruited for my time away and this gave me the opportunity on approval to book my holiday from the first week of November and the countdown had begun.

We ploughed ahead regardless

Meanwhile, our daily conversations continued, in the morning and the evening as we planned what we were going to do along with the prospect of getting married. It looked like the whole pall of the pandemic was being put behind us until just in the last week of November, the Omicron variant first sequenced in South Africa though from what transpired was already prevalent around in Europe and the US, led to the putting of southern African countries on the UK red list without even knowing much about the variant.

This could have kiboshed our plans, but I reckoned that since I was going to be away for 6 weeks, enough knowledge and understanding of the variant would have helped put some in reconsideration into the knee-jerk reaction in the Global North. Besides, the whole idea of spending 10 nights in sub-standard quarantine hotels did not appeal to me.

Anyway, I kept my hopes up and continued with my arrangements, renewing my travel insurance, helping my stand-in bed-in, taking my Fitness to Travel PCR Test and I was ready to go. My journey to Cape Town was smooth and in just two legs, the first from Manchester to Paris and the newly reinstated Paris to Cape Town leg, arriving just after 22:28 on the 3^rd of December, but without my baggage in tow.

Bags on a merry-go-round

My baggage did not make the transfer between arriving from Manchester to taking off from Paris, and though we arrived late in Paris, I literally had to rush to the departure gate, the transit time was another 24 minutes longer than the scheduled connection and still, I was not reunited with my baggage until Sunday afternoon. The baggage itself took the Manchester – Paris – Amsterdam – Cape Town route. I should have been given Airmiles for that too.

At first, I thought I would need to stay at an airport hotel overnight because of the pandemic restriction curfew, but that was not an issue, travellers were allowed to make that journey to their accommodations. I had arrived in Cape Town safely and was in Brian’s arms that night, that was all that mattered besides the troublesome issue of my baggage somewhere on the planet.

Coronavirus streets on my mind - LII

On the advent of the pandemic

In a way, I want to reflect on my experience of this Coronavirus pandemic; it has been troubling, difficult, and long. If I dwelt on the incompetence of my government that has marshalled and shepherded a death rate still unrivalled amongst its peers in Europe, I would find myself a misfit amongst other things, but I have to think for myself and those in my immediate community.

When the pandemic started, I was first classed in the highly vulnerable cohort and required to shield, but the British HIV Association came out with an update advising that those of us with an undetectable viral load and a CD4 cell count above 250, should not need to shield.

That did not make me any less vulnerable as anyone with HIV is immunosuppressed to a degree, we still need to continue our medication regimes and attend our scheduled check-ups. I had returned from South Africa by mid-January 2020 and within 2 weeks I was down with a water infection that required an albeit short hospital admission and weeks of weakness that took a while to recuperate from.

The choices that chilled

If that illness had happened in April, I would have been asked to stay at home and hope for the best when intravenous antibiotics and two sessions of electrolytes would have been needed to get me back to normal. The thought that doctors had unilaterally placed Do Not Resuscitate on a whole swathe of vulnerable patients on their register to apparently save the NHS sent a chill down my spine.

Blog - Thought Picnic: From chills to thrills in health updates

I for one kept isolated as much as I could, wore a face mask everywhere, avoided crowds and enclosed places. I even took to walking exercises as I longed for the opportunity to return to South Africa to be with Brian and that was not until mid-December. If I had not left in the week that I did, I would have been caught by the lockdown in the UK that fuelled another wave of infections and deaths.

Personal precautions, all the time

In South Africa, we had a lockdown too, with a curfew and an alcohol ban, though we could not visit the beach, we could the parks and botanical gardens which we took advantage of. Everywhere we went, we had to don facemasks, had our temperature taken, sanitise our hands and leave our contact details for track and trace purposes. There was a variant on the loose, but we were not careless about our health and welfare.

The only time we ended up in anything like a crowd was when we had to take fitness to travel PCR tests, for at that time, only one laboratory offered reliable tests accepted for travel purposes. This was before there was a vaccine and when we had not yet been offered the option to take it.

On return to the UK, I had to self-isolate at home for 10 days, but I was invited on the 5^th day for a test that proved negative and so earned an early release from my isolation. All the while, I was working from home and doing my best to thrive, despite the circumstances.

Every measure for safe living

Through this year, I had my first Pfizer jab in the last week of February, the Delta variant turned into a community threat from April into May, requiring another lockdown and in the first week of May, I got my second Pfizer jab. Much as we planned for another rendezvous in South Africa, it was beginning to look like we might not meet until the end of the year.

I had my hospital consultations for HIV in April and October, my annual flu jab and then took my third Pfizer jab or the booster shot in the second week of November. From October, we had decided December was the earliest we could meet again, and I put in my plans for holiday for the whole of December and the first two weeks of January. I would suppose I was granted the time compassionately with respect to my circumstances and the agency has provided a stand-in for the time that I am away.

Much as we are vaccinated, we are not throwing caution to the winds, as the same precautions we observed last year when there was no vaccine, we have observed diligently even as many we see on the streets seem to care nothing about the pandemic that has hardly gone away.

Calm in the face of turmoil

Just a week before my departure from England, South Africa and neighbouring southern African countries were placed on the red list that required any returnees to the UK to take up exorbitant hotel quarantine for 11 nights regardless of vaccination status, it could have scuppered our plans, but as my absence would be for 6 weeks and we were still learning about the Omicron variant, I felt that things would change during that period. I had to field many enquiries about my plans, but I remained calm and sanguine.

I changed nothing about my plans and flew out on the 3^rd of December, I am glad to note that the red list has been completely depleted from this morning and it is my hope that no radical changes occur for the rest of my sojourn here. Despite what the governments in many countries think they should be doing regarding this pandemic; I think they should be giving us advice and full information about the state of the pandemic.

Not getting too smart about it

However, I think it is now down to personal responsibility to take the utmost and particular attention to one’s health, to get vaccinated, to take precautions, and to navigate out Coronavirus streets with moderation, common sense and every safety measure to avoid contracting this virus.

Much as I cannot understand the inclination for vaccine hesitancy from the unlearned, talk less of those in the health services, I can only wonder how they expect to fight a virus with a naïve immune system, but each to their own, I know, I need vaccines against many things and some I cannot take like the yellow fever vaccine because it has a life though attenuated virus.

We are making the best of the time we have together and that is also for our health, our wellbeing and most importantly, our mental health too.

Blog - Quarantined in my self-isolation

From a Nigeria 30 years ago

The outlay

I really thought I will not write a blog today, but Brian said, I could do it and it will be an auspicious thing because it commemorates the day I have not forgotten.

It was a Sunday, the 30^th of December 1990 that I took a delayed flight with Nigeria Airways from Lagos to London and that was my departure from Nigeria. Things moved quite quickly in the space of 7 or so weeks.

I was a partner in a desktop publishing firm we called NextStep Limited when we decided on updating our equipment by making a trip to the United Kingdom. The activity would have been performed by a former business partner of the principal, but at the last minute, I was added to the trip, somewhat to protect our interests.

The situation

On the 18^th of November, I had arrived in England for a business trip that was to last a week, however, that stretched to two weeks because some of the kit we had acquired was to be delivered later than our previously scheduled stay. That night, Chris Eubank beat Nigel Benn in a boxing match.

That former business partner once worked for Nigeria Airways and knew his way around, all the VAT returns for our purchases of over £4,000 went into his UK account. Laden with our kit, I returned to Nigeria on the 2^nd of December, by which time John Major had supplanted Margaret Thatcher.

Whilst in the UK, I learnt that I had the skills for a thriving computer technical support market if I ventured the idea, I got a copy of my long birth certificate as it was not obtained my parents when they got the short version. With that in hand, I applied for the Certificate to the Right of Abode which only had a 3-week processing time compared to the 18-month waiting list for a British passport.

The execution

The interview was a breeze, more the exchange of banter about failed interviews and with my special visa to hand, I bought my one-way ticket to London for the price of NGN 3,200. I was ready to go even if very few believed my plans would be executed. I had determined I was going to leave before 1990 was over.

My 25^th birthday was given prominence at the Christmas party for the staff of Deji Sasegbon Publishers, a legal publishing outfit for which I was a consultant and through whom I had the bulk of my airfare to travel to the UK, as part of our contractual agreement signed some 14 months before.

The memory

The exchange rate then was NGN 15 to £1 and though I have left for a generation, Nigeria has not left me, I am impacted and affected by many things in Nigeria, most completely out of my control by inimical policies that take no consideration for the people. I cannot report that things have improved for the majority even as some have prospered.

On the matter of returning, even for a visit, I am undecided, and the passage of time has made it quite unlikely regardless of the event or the occasion, I think and dream of Nigeria, it is not home, just a place of memories, attachments, and influence. My hope is still that Nigeria finds peace and prosperity and hopefully at the hands of people who know what they are doing and will not squander the rare opportunities to do so.

My boarding pass from the 30^th of December 1990.

Belief Review Interest Anticipation New - I

Then came a plan

I think about the time I helplessly fell in love at the end of December 2018. The trip I made to South Africa was one that had been on my mind for months, but it was difficult to plan for. As the year closed, I was put on a new regimen of pills that simply messed up everything normal about me and then I underwent a procedure that required a two-week rest, especially from air travel.

Immediately, after the rest, I was in Germany for work and it was there that I decided, if I did not take that holiday, I risked regretting it. I jetted out on Christmas Eve and arrived in Johannesburg on Christmas Day. Meanwhile, I was back on my old pills and feeling good in myself.

Mona Lisa is mine

Three days later, I saw this amazing person, not that I dared approach because he just looked like he would have eyes for something else. I resigned myself to the equanimity of a museum visitor. You can view Mona Lisa, but you cannot take it off the wall and walk home with it.

Reticent and shy as he suggests he is, he was the one who made the first move, saying Hello and that was the beginning of history. I just had a crazy thought that for the days until his birthday, which is the 7^th of July, I might just write something about falling in love.

Unanimous points scoring for my TOGAF® 9 Combined bout

Catching up with the times

It would be easy to write a motivational post, but that is not really my way of doing things, rather, I will just tell my story.

As I related in my previous blog on passing my PRINCE2 Practitioner certification last Thursday morning, I was suddenly furloughed a month ago and rather than sit at home twiddling my thumbs, I considered going on a PRINCE2 course and when I was booking the course, I was offered a bundled deal to do both PRINCE2 and TOGAF certification which just happened for fall on consecutive weeks.

Like project management, I was first introduced to TOGAF just a few months after recovered from cancer by an ex-colleague. I went as far as buying the study guides and registering on The Open Group website, that was just 9 years ago, but nothing really came of it. I even explored doing the course in South Africa then, I eventually went to India instead to attend courses for Microsoft and Cisco certifications.

Keeping the faith

I suppose what made TOGAF a bit of a chore was the volume of theoretical processes that I thought only a classroom training environment could help ameliorate. The Knowledge Academy for all its poor customer service record does appear to have some really good trainers. Mustafa Ahmed took our TOGAF course and from the first day, I began to have confidence, it could be done.

This was my second week of courses and something seemed to have triggered an immune response in me that by the third day of the course, I was coughing, spluttering and running a fever that I had to return home early without acquiring anything. The trainer sent me an update of what was covered for the day and I was able to return for the fourth and last day of the course.

His advice was to take the test within two weeks of the course, or we’ll begin to forget what we had learnt. I first had to get PRINCE2 done from before I could begin to think of scheduling the TOGAF test.

Brought to the edge

It was an exasperating ordeal to get the Exam Bookings department of The Knowledge Academy to forward me the test voucher, it took 3 emails and 4 phone calls over 8 days to get that resolved. The service is an atrocity that makes an appalling review appear too generous for words.

You’re tested to the point of losing your cool and in my view, the staff care not a jot about the frustrations of their customers. It is a test of patience that one has to pass.

When the voucher arrived, I found I could not get a test window at any of the Prometric Vue test centres up north in Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds or Birmingham. Only one test centre London had availability and so I chose to travel to London to take the test today. The test centre could do with bigger monitor screens.

Tested to the limit

I was caught in a quandary of my preparedness, having acquired the official study guides, the full standard documentation and a pocket guide. Something seemed to be missing until I found a YouTube video TOGAF® Level 2 Exam Questions – Tackling Those Effectively! This in addition to the tips I got on the course meant I could be boxing clever to win this match.

The TOGAF® 9 Combined Part 1 and Part 2 Exam is 40 questions for Part 1 in 60 minutes, immediately followed without results for 8 scenario questions for Part 2 in 90 minutes. I raced through Part 1 reviewing a few thorny questions and was done in just under 33 minutes. Part 2 was harder, the recommended approach is 10 minutes per question, I spent 18 on the first and had squandered 30 minutes without a satisfactory answer for the second. Open book tests don’t mean easy results. You will in some instances be told where to go in the TOGAF standard document, it doesn’t make it any easier.

I tried some and skipped some that I returned to for review, by the end, I had just 3 minutes to spare and passed both Parts. Part 1 presents a bit more difficulty as it relies upon memory and specifics from the TOGAF documentation, Part 2 is about the application of the TOGA methodology and I did much better on that by far.

They helped me do it

On reflection, I marvel at the determination and daring that saw me decide to take two highly process-driven courses with much documentation, standard and theory, just 4 weeks ago and in that time clear both tests that give me certifications in project management and enterprise architecture.

Yet, without the amazing support of Brian my partner and my friends Funmilola and Kola, I probably would not have had either the courage or determination to see this through. They are my cheerleaders, constantly telling me I can do it and do it well. It gave me such great pleasure to share my successes with them.

Now to new challenges and rewarding prospects. There is the minor issue of a holiday in South Africa to plan now. Phew! It’s done.

On becoming a certified PRINCE2® Practitioner

The tough thing

This morning at 7:40 AM, I clicked the ‘End Test’ button of my PRINCE2 Practitioner 2017 test, responded to a survey about my experience and waited for a few seconds for the test result to show.

It was a somewhat tough test, but I did not think I needed anymore study after all the work I had put in towards passing this test. However, I believe by process and application, I should be able to put my knowledge to good use and by that become an effective project manager.

My projected life

My working life has generally been impacted to various extents by project managers, ones who follow process and procedure and some that care nothing for the orthodoxy, they blag their way with offering the customer the impossible, harass their technical personnel to produce gold from dross and their ultimate goal is rarely to deliver a product or service but to tick boxes.

To say I have little time for such project managers would be an understatement. Whilst, I have not come to blows with any, I have found the unspeakable to say straight to their faces. I know the quality of work I want to deliver, and it would not be shoddy no matter who the project manager is. If you cannot first understand what it takes to deliver before you promise what can be delivered, then you will have to take up the consequences for why tolerances have been stretched and exceeded.

Schooled in hard knocks

My first encounter with formal project management processes was during my postgraduate course some 15 years ago, I took it as my second module, and it was an exercise in stress management and control towards delivery.

We were a team of 5 who had to take up the slack for one of us who was never present, never engaging and never delivering. Yet, he had the effrontery to demand that we make all allowances which could have left us all failing the module. The lecturer decided not to mediate but watch how we handled the tough issues.

We delivered our goals despite the issues, but the biggest lesson I took away from that experience was that I did not want to be a project manager. Our project management module was based on the Project Management Institute (PMI) Project Management Body of Knowledge (PMBOK® Guide).

Not wasting time

Then, just 3 weeks ago, I was notified that I would be furloughed, on knowing this, I decided I would spend the time attending some courses. There is probably a lot I can do on the technical side, but I also need to leverage elements of 30 years of expertise in the coordination of projects, programmes and portfolios.

After taking some advice from a colleague project manager, I looked around for PRINCE2 classroom course and ended up with one provided by The Knowledge Academy. My enquiry led to being offered a deal that allowed the back-to-back courses for PRINCE2 Foundation and Practitioner combined in the first week and the TOGAF 9.2 Part 1 & Part II in the following week.

Getting ready for love

Apart from the preparation for the course, I had access through my PluralSight subscription to the retired PRINCE2 2017 course which I could run and learn from, then I also found the Projex Academy Prince2 Masterclass at cost, which had a rather innovative approach to covering the PRINCE2 syllabus.

The Projex Academy YouTube video PRINCE2 2018 MASTERCLASS Foundation Exam Tips and Hints, gave me the confidence to decide I had done enough to go for the test.

I had passed the paper test for PRINCE2 Foundation at the end of the second day of the course and then had to wait for the exam voucher from my course provider to schedule the PRINCE2 Practitioner test.

What a bother

This was fraught with a few difficulties as it is proctored online giving you the opportunity to run the test from home. However, to have a sterile enough environment to sit for a test for 150 minutes without being disturbed whilst keeping the setting clean enough not to contaminate the examination setting with material that could compromise the integrity of the test looked like an insurmountable problem.

I also could not find test centres to fulfil that need apart from opting for a paper-based test. I needed to find a hot desk office or boardroom. However, to schedule an online proctored test, one needs to find a slot that makes a proctor available for that slot. My solution after much uncertainty was to schedule the slot first, which I got for 5:20 AM, then I booked myself into a hotel. I ensured the room had a table and chair, an executive room or apartment hotel would do the job.

Testing hotel

This meant I would have no distractions and I did not have to do a spring clean of the room to have the setting that meets the requirements for online proctoring. Next, I downloaded the Exam simulator and ensured the setup with fully compatible, my laptop required .NET 3.5 and a Visual C++ distributable for the exam simulation to install. Then a number of tests for the audio, web camera and Internet connection were run. A wired connection is preferred but not compulsory.

Once that was done, I was ready for the test and I went to be bed early, my dreams overrun with PRINCE2 project scenarios. I did no additional revision, but I did tab my official manual, the Principles, Themes, Processes, Appendix A and C along with a few other pages. As the PRINCE2 Practitioner test is an open book exam, but that is as deceptive as it comes. You could easily run out of time rifling through pages looking for the piece of information that helps you answer the question.

The die is cast

When all was set with the capture of my identity document, the online proctor communicated with me by audio, he did not once show his face, but he could see me throughout the duration of the test. I turned my laptop around 360 degrees to show the room, then the table I was working on. Flipped through the official manual showed the blank sheets I would be working on and after typing in my middle name in the chatbox, I put my phone out of reach and started the test.

I wasted a lot of time on the first 10 questions out of 46 but eventually got a good pace, skipping one question until I had finished. By the time I was done, I had about 13 minutes to spare. I did not believe there was much else to review. I ended the test and my result came back as a pass.

Phew!

When I was scheduling my test, I was offered the option to resit the test for 25% of the normal cost for a resit, the offer was valid until 15 minutes before the test. It is not refundable but serves as an insurance policy. I took it, but I will not cry over the loss of it rather than getting to use it to pass if I had failed. It would have knocked my confidence a great deal if I had failed the test, but I was not going to beat myself up for it. I have failed many times before and returned to take the prize.

However, for all the activity that presaged this situation, I am happy that my PRINCE2 Practitioner certification is in the bag. Now on to new things. The support of my partner Brian and best friends Funmi and Kola have been so invaluable, I am blessed to have these wonderful people cheering me on, through the good and the bad. Thank you. Meanwhile, I lament the inglorious step down from queen to prince.

Thought Picnic: It Can Wait

Frenetically consumed

I sometimes wish certain things did not so occupy my mind that I begin to pull all stops to want to do or achieve that goal.

Now, I know that travel serves a crude sort of therapy for me, taking me away from the routine and the mundane into an adventurously renewing situation.

However, most of the time, I travel on impulse, and I have done this over and over again, more times than I have deliberately planned for travel. I once embarked on a European tour of 8 countries with just 10 hours to plan it and go. When you are not travelling alone, you do need to align schedules with your companion.

Pathetically excused

Yet, to break away and get away has always been one of the freedoms of being single and unattached that I have exploited whenever I have had the means to do so.

This attitude sometimes drives me to distraction, flights not when you want them, hotels on the outskirts of town except of you want to break the bank and other kinds of inflexible options that are not options but restrictions, you begin to tire of all the permutations and finally come to the conclusion – it is probably not worth it – leave it until some other time in the future.

This is where planning comes handy, because having seen the restrictions of immediacy, you probably can mitigate for those by getting better options than shelling out at high cost for minimum satisfaction and fun.

Yes, I do want to get away as soon as possible, I have decided, it can wait. Peace!

Thought Picnic: By chance, for choice, to certainty

The chance unsure

Chance is very unpredictable being the harbinger of luck or disappointment, the effect which can presage significant life-changing situations, it is the precursor of uncertainty.

Yet, we leave a lot to chance with the hope that things would yield a result we have no certainty we would get. Even if we are not certain, it probably cannot be planned to ensure the outcome we desire.

The choice-less chance

In a lottery and many other areas of life, we get hopeful, raise our expectations and sometimes begin to daydream, building castles in the air, even daring to create kingdom and empires in our minds, drifting away from our reality and almost succumbing to delirium.

Sometimes we think that abundance offers options and take the chance that we might find suitable choices, yet having many choices does not mean we would find a suitable match.

Know your chance from your choice

This is evident in trying to start relationships and finding out that we might be in vast populations and yet be alone and lonely, not finding a partner we can choose from the chances we have to meet many who come into and leave our lives.

Sometimes, we might find that chance in life for happiness that sometimes eludes many, but we cannot live by chance and hope that choice would create certainty.

Use chance sparingly, take choice with wisdom and celebrate certainty as a blessing, they are gifts to life.

Holiday Snaps: Location still serves vocation

Tribes in the sun

Location, they say, is everything. This could not have been more evident than in my recent visit to Playa del Inglés on the island of Gran Canaria.

Much as this part of the island offers hotels, sun, sand, mostly in dunes and the sea, there are sections around the place that are tribal, clannish or native.

We are left in no doubt that the Germans frequent this island more than other nationals considering the number of signs in German compared to English, Dutch or Scandinavian signs.

Whilst, many other nationals do visit for the sun and surprisingly we met up with Americans who had somehow found this out-of-the-way European sunshine paradise, it is was something of a surprise to me.

Traces of places

When it comes to night life, there are places to go where a lot is going on. I could not however fail to notice that beyond these central places that the tourists throng, some enterprising and entrepreneurial spirits had thought to attract custom to other places in town.

These new places I found were considerably better in standard, facility and variety compared to the crowded places that proprietors could not care to maintain or update. However, they have so much footfall that they cannot be bothered to differentiate themselves from competition to attract more clientele. Complacency had set in.

Whereas, these new places strive to convince us that they are close to the centre and in the process miss out on providing the critical detail that might persuade people to visit their premises.

Failing to listen

I took it upon myself at one such venue to state that the instructions given for their location were not clear and sometimes confusing. The indications use referred to a building that had a name spelt top-down rather than from the left to the right as most of us read words.

My friend, new to the island had more recognition for the building name that had the word spelt horizontally from left to right rather than for the building name spelt vertically, prominent as it appeared to be, but I could not get that point across to the owners, rather, I was pushed back as being probably stupid.

Missing the essential

You then wonder if their market research despite the quality of the product took cognisance of that minor detail of getting people to come or whether it had any strategies for persuading people to leave the beaten paths to the less well-travelled places.

Yet, with owners who appear to know too much that they cannot appreciate a simple observation from a customer concerned enough to make a point about the directions to venue, there is no wondering why despite how good and fantastic the new places are, not many are venturing beyond the central hubs of activity.

They’ve created paradise in a desert and expect people to leave the comforts of tried and tested venues for an unknown. Unknown, they would remain until they rethink the whole scheme because they present no competition as at yet to force the popular places to improve, upgrade or make attractive offers to customers.

Requirements of requirements

Finding the requirements

Any situation requires that we appreciate what the requirements are and so we asked for the requirements. As we discussed what the requirements might be, we ended up with someone else creating requirements that did not look like the requirements we thought the requirements should be.

The requirements are simple. We simply require the requirements that are required. Without such requirements it becomes almost impossible to determine those that are required without initial exposure to such requirements. I require the requirements that are required in order to fully appreciate the requirements.

[Paragraph from comment by Gareth Terry on Facebook.]

However, because no requirements were forthcoming, we defaulted to a set of requirements that were the requirements of a different list of requirements detailed in the requirements of another entity.

There we were, completely exasperated, how hard could knowing your requirements be?

Using any requirements

That became the requirements from where hopefully after testing they would eventually see if their requirements are met or they can be forced to clearly state what their requirements are and by so doing, we would have the requirements we should have had in the first place.

As we progressed, we began to see unforeseen requirements, the requirements that extended the narrow scope of requirements they assumed were fulfilled, but now glaringly were never considered requirements that anyone would immediately appreciate are the fundamental requirements of any set of requirements.

Maybe these requirements

Requirements are an active and determined set of requirements because requirements cannot be divined as chances or the preponderance of luck, though we would be lucky if at the end of the day, any of the requirements where we cannot see the clear usage that demands those requirements would result in requirements that meet the requirements that are the best requirements for the requirements of the situation.

Nonetheless, the requirements would be organic and through trial, testing, iteration and review, we would have some requirements and they might well be good enough.

New requirements just released. We are to first produce a time machine, talk about changing the goal posts.

[Paragraph from comment by Gareth Terry on Facebook.]

Decade Blogs - Kunle Durojaiye - Keep Running!

Decade Blogs

The number of times I have missed the opportunity to meet Kunle Durojaiye, I would not count, yet, he is one of those young and amazing thinkers (thematic as his Twitter profile suggests) I would so love to meet.

I was quite pleased when he responded positively to my request that he write something for my #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

Kunle, a Cranfield alumnus holds court on Twitter with the handle @kunledee and blogs at http://kunledurojaiye.com/.

Here, Kunle writes about keeping at it, and whilst I have kept at blogging for 10 years, there are other areas of my life that I have been a poor starter, a worse planner with rotten persistence, like going to the gym, even if I still look a bit trim.

There is much for me to learn from this as I believe it would find some deep resonance with you. Thank you.

Keep Running!

Consistency, the name of the game! Life and its many self-appointed coaches have often taught us that the starting point to any endeavor is a vision, a concept, a dream, an idea, and perhaps rightly so. How come history remains replete with numerous accounts of ventures that started, but were aborted midway?

Of course, there could be many factors responsible for such but what remains an instructional lesson is the fact that starting is essential but certainly not everything.

There are people who are excellent starters. They do not suffer from the typical inertia many others face at the starting point. They think it and get it going; nothing stops them. Then, there are those who are slower to get running, they spend a great deal of time planning, preparing and re-preparing.

Of these categories, the jury may be out on which is preferred and recommended, but what will distinguish them eventually is staying power - the ability to run and keep running.

How else do you judge the success of an endeavor if not via results produced and sustained over time?

The ability to remain resolute and committed to a vision is a key quality of achievers and performers. They know that the goal set for/by them is worth weathering the storm for. As such, climbing over rocks and hard places is part of their race. They manage to stay fixated despite everyday challenges and by large, the law of diminishing returns. They exude staying power.

Again, there is some relativity to this. People think up ideas and within a year or two, the concepts are dead and gone. The extraordinary few probably linger for up to five years. So, keeping at something continuously, consistently for 10 years is indeed laudable... and this is what Akin Akintayo has demonstrated through his blog www.akinblog.nl.

For some, writing is an inherent trait, an inborn skill that requires little effort to activate and sustain. In Nigerian parlance, 'it isn't an easy something'. The ability to stick with a concept and run it through in spite of down time, challenges, life lessons, discouragement, and whatnot is a commendable attribute

As this milestone is celebrated, one hopes the lessons apparent are being noted and served to readers, and all as pointers for future endeavors. Don't just start, stay! Don't just begin, progress! Don't just initiate, execute! Don't just think, do! Don't just run, keep running!