Thought Picnic: Exercising the luxury of choosing

The things I control

It is with amusement that I watch myself sometimes unaware of the luxury I have to compartmentalise things or even insulate myself from situations I do not need to be bothered about. There are times I had an obligation to play a role to which if I do have the means and the opportunity, I would register my participation, but that should not be for everything.

In the scheme of things, I am the nominal head of our family, however, we do have our elderly patriarch who is the actual head of the family. On many things, we would defer to him, though there are issues where one would exercise variance, authority, and autonomy in order to gain the kind of pragmatic consensus to involve all concerned.

Where presence offers no essence

I thought about a matter to which on the one hand I would have expected to be involved in all the discussions that I learnt after the fact, then I recognise that I wear a smartwatch that measures stress levels and reflect to myself that what I do not essentially need to be part of presents less of a responsibility to be bothered about.

Just being present to postulate is of no significance, I would not have been able to do anything, maybe offer a different perspective or some insight, but people have been able to make their decisions long before I thought I should be involved, my hands-off approach suits me totally.

I take my time my way

I guess it also informs how I take my time to process things, I try not to jump into situations that are in no need of an intervention I can control. Sometimes, all I need is to be apprised of the situation, so I am not entirely out of the loop of prevailing circumstances.

Indeed, I do have quite a luxury of choosing whether I want to be involved and if I do get involved the extent to which I want to be exposed. For my own wellbeing, I can also walk away at my own choosing.

This might exacerbate the thinking that I have never really been accultured to some way of doing things, but then, I am not trying to impress anyone with what I choose to do. I do what I do out of the level of responsibility I choose to assume, at the time of my choosing, with the resources I have personally decided to commit to that circumstance. It would remain my stance for as long as it is reasonable.

Lazy stereotypes lashing the eye

Making lazy choices

When I finally decided to exit my apartment for some domestic shopping, I had the choice of visiting one of two stores in the same store chain, miles diametrically apart from each other with the possibility, one might not have what I needed. I left it to the chance of which mode of transport came first, it happened to be the bus before I got as far as the tram station.

Meanwhile, one annoying feature of the construction boom in Manchester is the council-supported allowance for builders to cordon off complete side streets or pavements with as much as one lane on the street as a safety buffer in some cases. That was a recent obstruction implemented on my way, just as I seethe about the lane which has been lost from my street for over two years.

I think it is more about giving the companies opportunities to utilise their plots fully without losing any space to the construction process. It is in my view a form of corruption that unnecessarily inconveniences the public without compensation or consequence.

Power to a stereotype

Having boarded the bus, as I got off, I had to help a couple on before the bus rode off without them, and then I crossed the road to my intended shop. Having obtained the goods and foodstuffs I wanted, I walked up the road looking for CR2032 batteries for my weighing scales.

I chanced on a mobile phone services shop where on requesting the batteries, I was asked if I needed them for diabetes. Now, I would not know what battery-operated device diabetics use, much I did not want to take offence as to why the shopkeeper reached that conclusion, out of stereotype or just in the quest to be helpful.

Yet, it is something to consider for diabetes along with hypertension are silent killers in our community. The need to care for our health at most times is abandoned for the expedient. There is much we can do with diet, exercise and moderation to control and mitigate these conditions that we ignore for too long until medical science can do little to ameliorate.

Enduring eyelash torture

I have been fortunate, despite my numerous health challenges, and I can do more in terms of exercise to keep fit. I keep tabs on both my weight and blood pressure at home, my biannual check-ups monitor other indicators that I try to understand the trends of, just in case I need to make radical changes to my lifestyle for corrective purposes.

As I left the shop, the wind blowing in my face must have detached a loose eyelash that got into my eye. In these times of the Coronavirus, you cannot be too careful, I had to tortuously resist the urge to touch my eyes until I had returned home and washed my hands. For all the surfaces and things, I had touched from the bus, the shopping basket, the foodstuffs, the doors and so on, it was hard but necessary. The relief of removing the speck in my eye eventually, could not be celebrated enough.

Care and carefulness have become the instructors of our daily experiences for health, keeping healthy and staying well.

Opinion: Education still remains the safeguard of democracy

The worst form of government

Observing things in our world today and how democracy has yielded interesting dividends and results, you begin to wonder whether choice and consequence are properly informed deliberations of the people who exercise the privilege to choose who presides over their affairs.

Winston S. Churchill did say, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.” This would suggest there is no better means of choosing a government except through democracy.

The safeguard of democracy

Yet, a quote I came upon this morning through the post of a tweet which had the picture of a London Underground notice board with an inscription encapsulated in one thought what I have been trying to say for months.

“Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

Franklin D. Roosevelt was a contemporary of Winston S. Churchill and in the quotes above they seemed to grasp both the inadequacies and the consequences of democratic choice.

The absence of immediate feedback

Unfortunately, when a voter enters the privacy and sanctity of the ballot box to place a tick or a cross against the name of a person, a party or a plebiscite option, there is no immediate feedback as to the consequence of that choice. The kind of feedback you will get from sticking your finger in a live electric socket would by terms be the necessary democratic component for those who have not bothered to safeguard their democratic choice through education.

The knowledge that sticking one’s finger in a live electric socket would cause an electric shock leading to possible death through electrocution can be one gained from personal experience, the experience of others or facts about what electricity can do. That becomes the applied wisdom that prevents us doing harm to ourselves and what compels us to inform others of the impending harm to others who might not be aware of the dangers of playing with electricity.

The new anti-intellectualism

Yet, in the recent rancorous #Brexit debate of 2016, we had the then Justice Secretary, Michael Gove, of all people say that, “I think people in this country, have had enough of experts.” In a nutshell, Mr. Gove had defined the strain of anti-intellectualism that feeds the populist mantra of politicians who were once confined to the fringes who have now taken the spoils of democracy and won at the polls.

With some of the recent democratic results, it is amazing how many have eschewed education, logic, truth and facts in making their choices. We have adopted the better of the worst form of government and made choices that appear to have not been done wisely, or where we have fully convinced ourselves that we are wise, it does not appear to be wisdom based on fact, truth or evidence.

The rhetoric has won us over and like someone hypnotised or mesmerised, we have confidently and collectively stuck our fingers in a live electric socket, the consequence of which would be lasting.

The dangers we face

We must, in the end, respect the majority decision of the electorate, but we must not ignore that in some cases where life and livelihood depend on these choices, the wisdom of fools in the setting of a rampaging mob on the move, has won the day.

It goes without saying that democracy is the worst form of government and it will get no better with anti-intellectualism, misinformation, propaganda, rhetoric and outright lies captivation our ability to reason with the reasonable and exercise all the virtues of reasonableness in the voting booth.

Thought Picnic: Wondering about life

Desirous of something

Sometimes, you wonder about life, the choices, the options, the opportunities, the fears and the desires. Many things that make you think and think again about whether life is as eventful and fulfilling as one will want it or not at all.

Desire seems to take the fore when there is a yearning for some sort of companionship, the desire to have someone to share experiences with as is the fear of being alone.

You sometimes strive for it and at other times you are frustrated out of it unsure of which tactic is the right one, because what works for others might well not work for you.

Love to get

The quest for love is a trying process and knowing that one opportunity was lost because we were not daring or bold enough to take the bigger risks for long-term gain, you are sometimes beaten down for failing to capitalise on what was within grasp.

Choices come from things you have or things that are presented to you as options, what you choose might lead to exploiting opportunity or it might be an end.

Opportunity offers the prospect of uncharted waters, maybe new experiences and probably adventure. The hope is that one is not too old in body and mind to chart an adventurous course that brings new meaning to life and existence.

Banish the fears

We cannot however be governed by our fears, either real or imagined, for fear constrain us and imprison us the cocoon of the familiar and comfortable which for a moment might be convenient, but in the long run, we lose out on the better things beyond the façade of uncertainty.

We need to reach, reach out, reach beyond, reach for and breach the limitations that leave us incomplete and unfulfilled in the many things that bring happiness, fun and love.

Sometimes, you wonder about life, how you really could make it better.

Thought Picnic: By chance, for choice, to certainty

The chance unsure

Chance is very unpredictable being the harbinger of luck or disappointment, the effect which can presage significant life-changing situations, it is the precursor of uncertainty.

Yet, we leave a lot to chance with the hope that things would yield a result we have no certainty we would get. Even if we are not certain, it probably cannot be planned to ensure the outcome we desire.

The choice-less chance

In a lottery and many other areas of life, we get hopeful, raise our expectations and sometimes begin to daydream, building castles in the air, even daring to create kingdom and empires in our minds, drifting away from our reality and almost succumbing to delirium.

Sometimes we think that abundance offers options and take the chance that we might find suitable choices, yet having many choices does not mean we would find a suitable match.

Know your chance from your choice

This is evident in trying to start relationships and finding out that we might be in vast populations and yet be alone and lonely, not finding a partner we can choose from the chances we have to meet many who come into and leave our lives.

Sometimes, we might find that chance in life for happiness that sometimes eludes many, but we cannot live by chance and hope that choice would create certainty.

Use chance sparingly, take choice with wisdom and celebrate certainty as a blessing, they are gifts to life.

Thought Picnic: Knowing your cards

What to give and what to hold

A friend as he was thriving in his mid-level executive role once said to me, “I always go into meetings with three points in mind. The things I ready to negotiate, the things that are non-negotiable and the things that are open for discussion.” In essence, he knew what to give, what to hold and what he could afford to lose.

There is a discipline that goes into preparing for meetings if at the end of that meeting you intend to come away better informed and better prepared to tackle the issues discussed.

Degrees of tolerance

This discipline however does not just pertain to meetings, it pervades all spheres of life and can be recast as what one is willing to accept, what things are just unacceptable and the things in view of the situation or circumstance one is willing to tolerate, endure or even excuse.

It takes a good sense of self, self-worth and self-esteem to project in those ways and generally that is what is viewed as character and or principle in makeup of that person.

Chaotic is not living

Yet, I wonder about the distractions of life and of technology in some cases that makes many things negotiable and very little constant. That some people thrive on upheaval rather than stability is not only strange, but it could well be that the life is more chaotic than engineered.

The inability to commit, when stability is in the horizon because we are presented with more choices yet no choice. The quest for better over the good in anticipation for the best and ending up worse is an unnecessary precursor to stress and depression.

Where we think we are making decisions, we are sometimes running away from our reality and engaged in pursuit of Utopia in life, in relationships, in our work life and many more areas of endeavour.

Stand somewhere to run anywhere

It is unhealthy. We need to find a platform of stability to launch ourselves from, a steady boat on stormy waters, something that is part of routine so that we can work better on our creativity and creativeness to be better people to ourselves and our communities.

We need to limit the distractions so that we can become involved participants rather than spectators and worse still, voyeurs ogling at the experiences of others. This is not to dampen our sense of curiosity, but if curiosity is for titillation rather than the opportunity to learn something new, we would be left with mirages and images of the lives of others and nothing to talk of, of ourselves.

We need to stand somewhere to be able to run anywhere.

The UK: My Serious Concerns About HIV Home-Testing Kits

Deep concerns about this

On reading a news item HIV Home-Testing Kits: Law Change Proposed, I found myself seriously concerned about this development that there is need for a debate as what this means for the UK.

As it stands, The HIV Testing Kits and Services Regulations 1992 prohibits the sale or supply of kits to members of the public who are not in the business of providing services as regulated under the following laws - the National Health Service Act 1977(1), or the National Health Service (Scotland) Act 1978(2) or the Health and Personal Social Services Order (Northern Ireland) Order 1972(3).

Fundamentally, I think it is a good thing that HIV testing be regulated and kept within the ambit of the law where the usage of kits will have a proper chain of custody from purveyor to deploying the tests for whosoever might need it whilst guaranteeing the elements of anonymity, privacy, secrecy and confidentiality having made the person fully aware of the implications of taking an HIV test.

One-sided views

My concerns are even more palpable when the foremost HIV/AIDS charity, the Terrence Higgins Trust celebrates this news on their Facebook Page having lobbied for this change in the law which in terms includes a possible conflict of interest by reason of the fact that they also provide HIV Postal Tests by blood sampling leveraging mobile telephony tools to provide results to gay men and Africans living in the UK.

The following quotes in that news story seem to have really good intentions but leave many questions unanswered:

“I hope that by removing the ban on self-testing kits people will be able to choose the right time and right surroundings to take a test and, if positive, help them get the best treatment available.” Public Health Minister Anna Soubry.

“People deserve to have a choice about how and where they test for HIV and proper regulation will make self-testing a safe and supported option for many more people across the country.” Lisa Power, policy director at Terrence Higgins Trust.

“We know that some people are already buying poor quality self-testing kits online from overseas which is why we have campaigned for a change in the law.” Deborah Jack, chief executive of the National AIDS Trust.

Hardly addresses the matter fully

I can relate to the sentiments expressed by these three significant HIV/AIDS specialists but offering choices and options is just half the story, I see nothing in these statements that provide safeguards against misuse or abuse when it becomes open-season for the unregulated and the public to acquire HIV test kits and use without restraint to elicit information that would have been protected in a more professional and organised setting.

Last year, Bisi Alimi, the renowned HIV/AIDS activist and human rights campaigner touched on a significant element of self-testing that goes beyond choice and control in this piece for the Guardian - An HIV home testing kit won't give you emotional support.

If we were to be honest with ourselves, the HIV home testing kit is not the equivalent of a pregnancy test, the results of both might well be life-changing but the beyond teenaged pregnancies and pregnancies by reason of the violation of the person, society is more accepting of the news of someone expecting, it is something you announce to as many as are close to you and well-wishers, it is not something you do for an HIV test result that proves positive for the many issues that it brings into the life and the immediate community of that person.

An unsatisfactory response

I engaged a number of activists, support workers and specialists in this field on Twitter before I decided to post a comment on the Terrence Higgins Trust – Facebook Page about my concerns, which appear below.

They did respond but I found their answers unsatisfactory laden with bloated organisational speak rather than the expected nimble adaptation responsive to the serious and real concerns that should be their core competence.

I posted a second comment, clarifying the fact that I am not against self-testing per se, but if there are no safeguards against the abuse people who might be coerced, compelled or put under duress by those with influence to take such tests outside a properly regulated framework, the consequences can be dire for those concerns.

It is not enough to say there are laws that safeguard abuse and protect the abused, if there are no immediate means to prevent and challenge overreach by the unscrupulous engaged in unconscionable activity, the damage would have been done long before redress can be sought, if ever it gets to that stage, by which time criminality has gained the edge of impunity just because those we have expected to ensure protection have prioritised choice and control over the duty of care, concern and compassion to play around with HIV infection and detection rate statistics at the expense of real people.

Safeguards or nothing

The law might well be abrogated, but we must not allow for this to be done without ensuring that the least, the powerless, the defenseless, the vulnerable, the helpless, the unfortunate and the disabled are adequately protected to pre-empt egress and abuse – that in the least should be the prime directive of any self-respecting HIV/AIDS organisation in the UK that considers humanity and human rights above all else and it is not too much to expect the Terrence Higgins Trust to be the greatest advocate to safeguard and protect before control and choice.

My Facebook Comment to the Terrence Higgins Trust

Akin Akintayo >> I think there are serious social and cultural ramifications for having HIV Home-Testing Kits beyond the idea that this puts control in the hands of people to determine how and where they want to be tested.

Having a HIV diagnosis is best managed in a professional setting, whilst it might be likely that those who discover their status might seek medical attention, there is no guarantee that they will, if they do not sink into mental depression and other issues in tying to handle the result outside of counselling environments.

An HIV self-test is in no way equivalent to a pregnancy test, the social ramifications of having a pregnancy test are hardly grave apart from in socially compromised settings like in teenaged pregnancies or those resulting from abuse.

In other settings, just as virginity tests are abused to violate women, I could see instances where these tests are administered under duress by those with influence over the tested, the consequences of which might be dire and grave.

I worry that this drive is being aimed at statistics rather when this is fundamentally beyond numbers to people and the way they exist within their communities along with the social dynamics that run within those communities.

Beyond home-testing, it just fills one with trepidation that some on discovering their status outside of medical supervision might also find ways to self-medicate by importing medicines from abroad and yet not know the progression of the disease in their system - their hubris in having such control might make them even greater vectors of the disease to the unwary - that will be unacceptable.

I will say again that THT should concentrate on persuading people to go for tests where they will have control, privacy, confidentiality and full protection of the law away from undue coercion and duress exacted by those who have undue influence over the lives of the people who need to test.

It is the harder part of your job, but at the same time it is the noblest part of your charitable activities if you chart this course.

Thank you.

Their response

Terrence Higgins Trust >> Thanks for your comment, Akin. We will continue encouraging people to test for HIV in the way that is most appropriate for them - GUM, community clinics, home sampling and - once established and properly regulated - self-testing. We believe all of these approaches have a role to play, and people have the right to decide for themselves how they want to test.

My second comment – awaiting a response

Akin Akintayo >> I appreciate the seemingly overarching view that "people have the right to decide for themselves how they want to test" the issue is how have you mitigated for the possible abuse, misuse, duress and coercion that I highlighted in my original comment and how will such people be protected?

Fundamentally, I am not against self-testing, per se, but I see no considered and detailed safeguards that makes this direction safe for those it might be imposed upon who will not have ready access to the essential legal protections in the immediacy of when they are abused.

There are social consequences and they must not be ignored to the point that whatever course is taken appears dogmatic.

A Beckham choice

What an opportunity of a lifetime, to choose from a job where you are grudgingly accepted and just paid appearance fees to a job where they all believe you can make a world of difference and they are paying you the bank.

Would you think twice? David thought right – Good luck, young man.