Thought Picnic: Exercising the luxury of choosing

The things I control

It is with amusement that I watch myself sometimes unaware of the luxury I have to compartmentalise things or even insulate myself from situations I do not need to be bothered about. There are times I had an obligation to play a role to which if I do have the means and the opportunity, I would register my participation, but that should not be for everything.

In the scheme of things, I am the nominal head of our family, however, we do have our elderly patriarch who is the actual head of the family. On many things, we would defer to him, though there are issues where one would exercise variance, authority, and autonomy in order to gain the kind of pragmatic consensus to involve all concerned.

Where presence offers no essence

I thought about a matter to which on the one hand I would have expected to be involved in all the discussions that I learnt after the fact, then I recognise that I wear a smartwatch that measures stress levels and reflect to myself that what I do not essentially need to be part of presents less of a responsibility to be bothered about.

Just being present to postulate is of no significance, I would not have been able to do anything, maybe offer a different perspective or some insight, but people have been able to make their decisions long before I thought I should be involved, my hands-off approach suits me totally.

I take my time my way

I guess it also informs how I take my time to process things, I try not to jump into situations that are in no need of an intervention I can control. Sometimes, all I need is to be apprised of the situation, so I am not entirely out of the loop of prevailing circumstances.

Indeed, I do have quite a luxury of choosing whether I want to be involved and if I do get involved the extent to which I want to be exposed. For my own wellbeing, I can also walk away at my own choosing.

This might exacerbate the thinking that I have never really been accultured to some way of doing things, but then, I am not trying to impress anyone with what I choose to do. I do what I do out of the level of responsibility I choose to assume, at the time of my choosing, with the resources I have personally decided to commit to that circumstance. It would remain my stance for as long as it is reasonable.

For those without a care

Then I found something

Out the apparent lack of inspiration for anything to write today, when one would have thought the expanse of it could easily provide myriad opportunities to craft the silly to the serious many times over, I found something to muse about.

My slow consumption of The Week magazines that I have on subscription yielded something of interest. That I am still 5 issues behind the current one should neither be a study on procrastination nor propriety. I am on retreat and so the shuffling through old magazines can be a leisurely act, as I am reading curated opinions and insights rather than the news.

In a lighter mood

The consumer page usually presents sections titled, ‘New cars: what the critics say’, with three reviews, ‘The best … any product, accessory, tool, or gadget of interest’, ‘Tips of the week …’, and ‘Where to find …’. Between the last two is the whimsical ‘And for those who have everything …’ which is everything you probably expect to it to be.

I guess it is written for those of a rather leisurely disposition without a care for the cares and concerns that dog everyday life. Though, I do wonder if this particular object of distraction and attraction will present a sense of welfare or safety for the time and times.

An illicit affair, maybe

We are presented with the Lady Arpels Pont des Amoureux Jour watch from the Love Stories collection of Van Cleef & Arpels French luxury outfit. The hand movement of the watch is unusual as it is a scene for a lovers’ rendezvous on a bridge, the gentleman dawdling as a minute-hand back and forth with the top of the hour at the middle of the bridge. The lady, however, takes her time as the hour hand arriving at a dalliance only at noon and midnight.

Bejewelled with precious stones, the function of time is lost to the extravagance of the setting, it might be both something exquisite as it can be quite vulgar. For those who normally can’t keep to time whilst wearing the most expensive watches, this is an opportunity to flash your wares in all its vanity for others to ogle either out of envy and the covetous need to acquire one to the detriment of all else or incredulity of wondering why anyone would deport that much to a vaunted trinket.

One would not in any case begrudge anyone who finds comportment in this choice of accessory or apparel, but an eye-watering £110,000 must come with adequate insurance and security without the possibility of flirting with your mistress on a bridge where the mysterious presages fearful consequences. Even if I had no care in the world, I doubt I would spend any time in this shop.

Why Ask Why Do Poor People 'Waste' Money On Luxury Goods?

A very good question

From Facebook, I came upon this controversial headline, Why Do Poor People 'Waste' Money On Luxury Goods? It is in my view one of the best-written commentaries on the sociology of hedonism and consumption.

I will not attempt to rewrite the article here, I suggest you click on the link and read; however, there some interesting points that the person raised that are good for discourse.

Respecting others in how we present ourselves

The issue of balancing means with acquisition in pursuit of keeping up with the Joneses or putting up a façade is something I have opined about that I think plagues one of the cultures of my ancestry.

Besides, a very robust exchange on Twitter about appearance and respect went along the lines of a lady taking offence at being approached by a man in sagging trousers.

I could understand what she meant, I opined about how appearance is a function of comportment, and the way people might react to us.

Presentable is not exactly acceptable

In this, I see the conflict or the confusion between presentable and acceptable. The article takes a stab at it with this, “Presentable is the bare minimum of social civility. It means being clean, not smelling, wearing shirts and shoes for service and the like. Presentable as a sufficient condition for gainful, dignified work or successful social interactions is a privilege.”

“In contrast, ‘acceptable’ is about gaining access to a limited set of rewards granted upon group membership. I cannot know exactly how often my presentation of acceptable has helped me but I have enough feedback to know it is not inconsequential.”

I have found that there are elements of presentable that ease the way for being acceptable, but one should know the difference between sophisticated and ostentatious, just as the subtlety of understated compares to the vulgar to the Englishman in me.

I believe these matters of presentable and acceptable reach beyond goods and things to personality, the names we bear or the ones we dare to give our children, the way we engage friends and strangers, and it is a function of comportment.

Keeping up with the Joneses

However, we return to the question that highlights another aspect of character, the earn-and-spend culture that means we have nothing in store for the future and exemplified in the immediate gratification of acquiring for status instead of status being the determinant of acquisition.

None of which is entirely healthy regardless of status, if the need to have is to satisfy a vacuous want to be seen having something to be able to belong or show-off.

Yet, there is a market for this type of person because the virtue of contentment and the wisdom that informs better choices for deciding what is presentable and hopefully acceptable is different from what drives the acquisition of things.

What our presentable should do

What we do in striving for the presentable is to allow the gatekeepers open the doors to where we can be acceptable, it requires we either know the defaults of presentable or acquire the Shibboleth of acceptable.

This is quite different from self-aggrandisement, the luxury good from underwear through designer wear, accessories and expensive toys in the quest to belong. Thereby presenting a public face of plenty underpinned by a private penury.

Penny-wise, pound-foolish

We all have our stories, but I tried to sum it up in this tweet that I posted earlier, “The context of presentable and acceptable in terms of the decisions we make and how we spend can be the difference between foolish and wise.”

Back to the article, if you have not yet read it, Why Do Poor People 'Waste' Money On Luxury Goods? – A very good question with a long backstory.