Thought Picnic: The Dignity of Choosing

The Mystery of Love

One thing I have always held sacrosanct is not interfering in relationships. There is a complex dynamic between people who choose and admire each other for all sorts of reasons that outsiders may never be able to fathom.

The book of Proverbs 30:18-19 in the Bible informs me quite clearly, in the following words:

There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don't understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

In the King James Version, it is written as "and the way of a man with a maid."

In these times, relationships are so diverse that the singularity of heterosexuality is no longer the sole expression of love, nor the only way to choose a partner. The way people choose whom they love, and why, will always remain a mystery.

Duty Rather Than Spark

This is different again from arranged settings, where external parties make the decisions that the participants must adhere to. Familial, customary, societal, political, or financial responsibilities usually influence such unions. People then have to make the best of the cards they are dealt.

Arranged unions are borne of duty, and the spark that arises out of attraction and leads to falling in love hardly fits with this topic. I acknowledge that such unions exist, and that affection may well develop within them over time, but that is a different matter from autonomously finding love for oneself. My concern here is with those who choose, not those who are chosen for.

When Love Turns to Harm

Even where I have harboured misgivings about the suitability of a match, I have always been reluctant and reticent to express a view, except where abuse is evident, and a partner is endangered. By abuse, I mean both emotional abuse and domestic violence, for neither is conducive to a loving relationship, and both can lead to harm of different kinds, including fatalities.

People in such settings need to be extricated before irreparable damage is caused. In those cases, there is no reason to sacrifice the person to an age-old institution for the purpose of saving face; the institution is not worth a life, nor the quiet erosion of one.

I am aware of the difficulty in all of this, for it sits uneasily beside my own principle. If an outsider cannot truly fathom why two people choose each other, that same outsider can seldom read what passes behind their closed doors. Abuse is rarely performed for an audience.

Harder still, the one being harmed does not always recognise the harm; what others would name as abuse can feel, from the inside, like an ordinary texture of the relationship. There is also the matter of shame. To admit to being abused is to admit, as many feel it, that one chose poorly, and so the stigma keeps people silent and keeps them where they are. Choosing to leave is therefore rarely as simple as being told to go.

None of this changes my conclusion; it only tempers how I hold it. The exception for danger stands, but it must be exercised with care, patience, and an honesty about how little we can see.

Freedom to Love

Beyond that, you are free to choose whom you want, and I bid you Godspeed that the companionship will be happy, fulfilling, and wonderful. How a person loves another can only be a thing of joy.

An AI-generated infographic on the blog content. (Click to enlarge.)

I appreciate that there are people who would encounter great difficulty in understanding those who deviate from the heteronormative, but that difficulty does not invalidate the reality of it. Whether it is accepted or not, when one person meets another for the affairs of the heart and falls in love, it is always between them, to the exclusion of others.

A Hierarchy of Choices

It is a hard conversation that eventually has to be had: if your expectation of familial ties is to be chosen over an intimate companion, you have read the situation incorrectly. Once you understand the mystery that brings people together, you fall into a hierarchy of choices. A partner will be chosen first, over all other relationships, including close familial ties and long friendships. People should fall in line and respect that choice, just as they would expect others to respect their own.

What you will not get away with, then, is disrespecting, disparaging, ignoring, or deigning to reduce a significant other to insignificance. I know many will remain unpersuaded by that construct, and so they will land in the irrelevant scheme of things.

Relationships are acts of great determination on the part of the participants. The least that can be done is to accord them the courtesy of acknowledging that they exist, and to respect the one you know has chosen rightly for themselves.

In the end, this is only a plea for individual choice and the respect it is owed, and for the humility to accept that no one, however well-meaning, is equipped to choose better on another's behalf.

Postscript

Ignore this at your peril. The person who insists on knowing better, who meddles where they were not invited and talks down to the one another has chosen, does not preserve the relationship they disapprove of; they forfeit their place in it. You are not owed a seat at a table you keep trying to overturn. Respect the choice, or be left out of the life that choice builds.

A Gemini Notebook AI Podcast on this blog

John Coll: Calling on Herbert Dzinotyiweyi to fulfil his wishes

How we learnt of it

9 years ago, a very dear friend, John Alexander Coll passed on, unfortunately, many of us who knew him did not learn of his passing until almost a month after he had gone. The executor John chose to manage his estate and contacted me late on the 21^st of January 2015 and expected a response from me by the 23^rd of January 2015 for the funeral planned for the 30^th of January 2015.

This presented a difficulty for many who would have liked to attend John’s funeral, we found a circle of friends and eventually were able to have someone in London represent those of us who would have had to travel from afar to honour this amazing man.

The executor of John’s estate

Sadly, 9 years on, John’s estate and issues have not been resolved as he had intended, his executor Herbert Dzinotyiweyi who used to handle the accounts for the company Connection Software that John founded through the years gave everyone the impression that the estate was a very complex and tax intensive issue, it probably was.

Herbert Dzinotyiweyi who for a while lived in the UK also has Zimbabwe roots and seems to have ensconced himself beyond the reach of scrutiny of his fiduciary obligations to the beneficiaries of John’s estate.

It was in early 2019 that I acquired details of John’s will and the probate that had 10 beneficiaries once the core of the estate had been liquidated, yielding almost £800,000 which if it were judiciously divided amongst those to whom John bequeathed a largesse would have been consequential and life-changing for each of them, most located in Zimbabwe where he once had interests and in South Africa.

Our engagement with Herbert Dzinotyiweyi

I was able to gather all the beneficiaries in conference a few times in 2019 into 2020, some of whom at the time that I contacted them were unaware that John Coll had made a generous bequest to their names.

We did Herbert Dzinotyiweyi to attend some of those conferences from the safety of Zimbabwe, at which no determination was gained or made until he removed himself from the conference groups as if he had no further obligations as executor. Suspicions arose that a professional forensic analysis of the moneys accrued from the estate after probate determined that money had gone, it had not gone to any of John Coll’s intended beneficiaries.

Just account for the estate

Whilst I do not intend to impugn Herbert Dzinotyiweyi’s name, some questions need answering; an explanation as to why John’s estate that made probate in June 2015 has still not been afforded the wishes of the testator, and there is a possible dereliction of responsibility as executor that might border on criminal enterprise, but this is not to accuse anyone.

A dead man cannot fight for his good intentions and wishes, which is why they trust someone or people to administer their estate when they are gone. The fact that John’s registered will was made and witnessed just 5 days before he passed on might have limited the scope of persons to elect as executors of his will. He cannot have thought that the person he selected would not expeditiously manage his estate and adhere fully to his generous desires, 9 years on.

Pattern or sheer coincidence?

I know this is not what John intended and I can only hope that action and justice for what John Coll desired is finalised by the time of the 10^th anniversary of his passing and Herbert Dzinotyiweyi willingly accounts for his superintending of John Alexander Coll’s estate as executor.

The friends of John Coll who remember him fondly as an extraordinary person of consequence in innumerable ways will continue to agitate for the full realisation of his wishes. The matter is not closed by any stretch of the imagination. May John Coll continue to rest in peace.

NB: I am not a beneficiary of John’s will, I am a friend of John’s, we met in mid-1994. Obviously, I will review and edit this blog once all of John’s wishes are fulfilled as he intended.

Meanwhile, a quick search for Herbert Dzinotyiweyi would suggest he has run into some trouble. One cannot speculate on pattern or behaviour, but it is an interesting development to discover today. [ZimNow: Harare man in court over residential stand scam]

Blog - John Coll: Friend, Mentor, Gentleman (January 2015)

Essential Snobbery 101: An Eton mess of people without virtue

A failed assessment

Privilege, entitlement, and omniscience are the qualities or virtues that former Eton master, John Claughton, regretted he had failed to manage or curtail in his wards who have now become leaders in many spheres of life, especially politics. [The Independent: Boris Johnson and ‘entitled’ Tory Etonians have damaged Britain, admits former Eton master: ‘I failed’]

In my view, I think the master is still reading the script wrong, as privilege might come by circumstance beyond our control, and what really matters is to recognise one’s privilege and then use it to the benefit of others.

Entitlement is an interesting issue that could be borne of an environment of privilege. To have entitlement is not entirely wrong, but where it is exercised should be in the support of fairness, justice, and what is right. Though entitlement is usually a vent of the supercilious, it could normally be seen in a negative rather than a positive light.

Omniscience, however, is definitely to be tamed and trammelled by every means possible; the thought that you are unassailable and infallible, incapable of error, all-knowing, and the master of the universe with a God-like complex is dangerous, whatever the degree. It should never have been fostered or helped to develop to the extent that such people should have power or influence over others.

Of a man of no character

In that crop of the poshly-educated at Eton College, come many former Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom, and the one that excites the greatest notoriety today is Boris Johnson, who exited the House of Commons last Friday, pre-empting the sanction of the Privileges Committee that would have recommended a 90-day suspension for misleading Parliament.

Boris Johnson would suggest he is a man hard done by, but like many would say, despite his popularity, Boris does things only for the sake of Boris and nothing more. Boris Johnson’s storied career shows that he has no acquaintance with the truth or any semblance of it. He is both a compulsive and a pathological liar who believes so assuredly that he is a man of trust and candour.

Granted chance after chance

Delusional is what would be attempted because, for all the jobs that he has risen to through various applications of meritocracy and charm, he has several times been relieved of his positions because of a lack of character, candour, values, and virtue.

That sense of omniscience seems to have equipped him with daring impunity for which his privilege appears to confer immunity from sanction or accountability. It is one exclusionary act of nature that, rather than be schooled by the infractions and punishments of the lower cadres, it is at the pinnacle of powers, prestige, and popularity that a man has been held to full account for his dishonesty and missteps.

Duty and service tames us

Before we get to the lesson to be learnt of men who throw caution to the wind, daring the whirlwind to a whistling contest, anyone can attend Eton with privilege, entitlement, and omniscience. What Eton College has patently failed to do for more than a generation is imbue its wards with a sense of responsibility, duty, and service to their fellow man. A willingness to face up to their failings and be held accountable where necessary, without questioning the fairness and justice of due process.

The lesson, it is always necessary for such flawed men to be met with a catastrophe of their own making; each downfall Boris Johnson has had has been by the hapless engineering of his own hand. His pomposity denies him the introspection necessary for self-awareness and self-correction. What leaves one more baffled is the fact that to some, he can do no wrong, no matter how wrong he is.

The Platinum Jubilee in perspective

A platinum jubilee to all

The Queen, Elizabeth II represents an epoch-making example of duty, service, responsibility, and fortitude as we celebrate with her the platinum jubilee of her assession to the throne. Usually, we celebrate 70 years of age, maybe even 70 years of marriage to some, but 70 years in office is a uniquely different thing that it might never be experienced in many lifetimes and generations to come.

When His Royal Highness, The Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh, the Queen’s consort passed on at 99 last April, one could only celebrate his public service and more particularly, his steadfast support of his wife for 73 years. They were only in their fourth year of marriage when she took on the role of monarch, at which point their devotion to each other was supplanted to their devotion to duty.

Blog: In the life of HRH, The Duke of Edinburgh

Longevity in our humanity

At 96, The Queen exudes the frailties of our humanity that comes with old age, much as she has promised to serve, she has had to hand over many tasks and duties to members of the royal family to represent her. This morning, she could not attend the national service in commemoration of her reign at St. Paul’s Cathedral, she was represented instead by the heir apparent, Charles, Prince of Wales accompanied by his spouse, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.

I appreciate monarchism especially in the United Kingdom as it gives us a kind of leadership that is essentially above the political fray, she has appointed 14 Prime Ministers during her reign, and whilst there could have been cases for republicanism that gives the leadership of a nation to popularly elected person, the kind of person that gets elected might not imbue the standards and qualities of leadership necessary for the role.

The less said of the current Prime Minister on principles, integrity, service, or responsibility, the better for all, and probably that alone represents why we need a monarchy. My only concern is that the monarchy is appearing to be political neutral might well be politically negligent, for I still suggest that when the Her Majesty’s Government was found to have acted unlawfully and by inference had lied to the Queen on the matter of the prorogation of the Parliament in 2019, the government that could not be trusted to act with candour and honesty should have been asked to resign.

The Second Elizabethan Age

That might well be the only blemish on this amazingly distinguished and extraordinary reign of Elizabeth II. I have no arrangements to join in any revelry, there would probably be a service at the cathedral to celebrate and pray for the Queen. Even as we sing ‘long to reign over us’ as part of our national anthem, we know we are coming to the end of an era.

History would characterise this as the Second Elizabethan age that represented the second half of the twentieth century and probably the first quarter of the twenty-first century. That we are so different from the royal houses of mainland Europe is instructive as abdications are typically the norm there as has happened in, The Netherlands and Belgium in 2013, and Spain in 2014. The year of three kings of 1936 (this was the fourth occurrence of 3 kings in a year, the last being in 1553 [Wikipedia]) remains a recently sad and forgettable history for our monarchy, the pall of which hangs over this monarch as a childhood witness of that change.

I can only wish the Queen more strength, good health and the soundness of mind that allows her to continue in her role for as long as she can. My hearty congratulations to her and God save the Queen.

Thought Picnic: No fighting with my parents

My parents are stars

There is one amazing gift of life that I probably do not appreciate as much as I should, the fact that I do still have my parents well into my golden jubilee years, they are both active and contributing to their communities, probably less agile by reason of age, but so totally with their faculties to participate in many things and dispense wisdom at no urging, besides the stories they can tell about life.

Even so, I am enamoured by their sense of adventure and willingness to try new things, like for instance, my mother went on a pilgrimage to the holy lands late last year, the trip sponsored by a class from the school where she was the pioneer principal.

Over Easter, my father launched a book he authored about the history of our hometown, Ijesha-Ijebu in Ogun State, not to be confused with Ijebu-Ijesha in Osun State. The well-attended event offered the opportunity for us to showcase the achievements of our patriarch.

Duly turning up

There is a likelihood that all of us would have attended if we were in the country because the occasion is more about him than us, it is one of those settings where we get to celebrate him amongst peers, in the community, and to the whole world.

I was left a bit disappointed by the fact that a certain one did not avail themselves of the opportunity to grace the occasion out of umbrage which would most definitely presage outrage. Their absence was noted and journaled, consequences would ensue but that is not for me to indicate.

However, I do remember that 40 years ago, on the birth of my baby sister, now of blessed memory, I absented myself from her naming ceremony having caused grievance to my parents the week before. It felt convenient for me, but my absence did not go unnoticed, everyone who could remember me from that precocious kid asked after me and my parents did not have the easiest excuse to render for someone who was also in the same city, hardly an hour away.

Wrath comes swiftly

I had stored up wrath for myself that when I next visited home, I faced severe and retributive justice from not just embarrassing my parents, but from not appreciating that there are things I am dutybound to perform as part of the family even if roles are not clearly defined, you step up and engage, you make yourself present and contribute, especially if you are at that time not of independent means.

There are expectations whether you choose to fulfil them or not, but what you cannot afford is to have your absence reckoned as a slight and disrespect to the family to which you belong. Strangely, for all the liberal views we might have, we are quite conservative on the matters of the composition of our family and show up mostly by being compelled even if the courtesy of politely asking in the remit of the patriarch. The many times, I have tried to make the point that he cannot order people around like he used to.

I suppose what stunned me in my father’s reaction to my not attending my sister’s naming ceremony was he headbutted me, I stumbled and fell backwards, literally dazed. Of all the means of discipline at his disposal, that was the strangest one and totally unforgettable.

Example for learning

Now, I do not expect an 82-year-old to go around headbutting his younger sons, much as I sometimes envy the musculature of his age and bearing, I fear for what might ensue for which I have not yet found the construct of admonition and advice to address the matter to the concerned. The attitude is not out of character, rather, it has been overlooked and essentially not imputed even as narratives and experiences would have dictated, because we are of better breeding than the pettiness things like this would entail.

Our parents provide examples, but an example is not a call to imitation, rather the study of example should allow us to follow the good and discard the bad, learn lessons, determine not to repeat their mistakes and end the vicious cycle of confrontation, conflict, and irritation.

We need to find accommodations of acceptance, agreement, and engagement for there is little we can demand of them than guidance and prayers, as essential responsibilities begin to devolve to those of us in our prime. We now have to take up the mantel, make the appearances for the family, find the means to attend to needs, wants, and provision, keep the family arrangements in good order and we do this with a sense of duty and humanity that it requires.

Play for the good

When I speak to either my father or my mother, I am regaled with prayers and blessings, their happy voices warming my heart and for all the trouble I was through my teenage years into early adulthood, I may not have made all the amends, but I am grateful that they appreciate me, just as they appreciate my other siblings.

At this juncture in their lives, it is just totally unnecessary to find oneself at the wrong end of their tongues. Indeed, we do disagree and respectfully so, but not to the extent of disagreeableness, they are in the twilight of their years and whatever would bring them comfort and joy stays paramount on our minds. We unite to fight against, not divide to fight amongst, a distinction that might be lost on the psyche of those poorly schooled on non-nuclear family constructs.

Choose good example

For all the conflict that has existed between my parents in their marriage and there is much to review, I have resolved never to take sides, be influenced, or persuaded by either party, to each I have a working and productive relationship and it has served me better than to allow either conscribe me into their battles.

They have their faults and that is for them to resolve not for me to accentuate and project for either, it is a principle of relationships some fail to learn and suffer much not understanding and differentiating between learning from example and repeating bad example.

Thought Picnic: Separated from many roots and cores

Things that made things

One cannot suggest it is a matter of estrangement for it is not, there is a useful and productive relationship with one’s forebears even as it appears nothing necessitates proximity or visitation with the passage of over three decades.

Deep in the recesses of unfathomed reaches of memories probably long forgotten yet consequential, attitudes and demeanours might well have been conditioned to the contemporary.

It is a matter of medical certainty that a truncated gestational sojourn required being situated away from maternal succour for over two months. Then in periods of farming or fostering, addressed in the link following, the guardians for reasons best known to them starved their ward. [ITV: Why thousands of West African children were privately fostered by white families]

Groomed in the briars

The conditioning of lack presented a fear of need and in view of that, every opportunity that presented sustenance was exploited even though it was wrong. Trust reposed in many was abused as victims were made of the innocent.

By terms, initial bonding was deprecated, the consequent associations seemed contrived even if for responsibility, love, and parentage, a relationship developed with all the strains of conflict and troubled adolescence. One belongs without feeling a sense of belonging apart from what is defined by affinity, obligation, or duty.

One is neither bound nor compelled, the celebration of them is one that keeps the conscience from being seared, in the much that is owed and the little that is spared, the accounting for what is done, whilst frequently misunderstood, cannot occur between any other. For all the apparent excuses that are available, the truth is in a life experienced than in the situation desired.

On my honour

On the word of a gentleman

After a 5-week stay in South Africa, I am homeward bound in a changing world of requirements, restrictions and reassurances. On the latter, I had one duty to perform to be able to check-in, I had to affirm, ‘On my honour’ that I did not have any CoVID-19 symptoms and I had not been exposed to anyone who might have had symptoms in the last 14 days.

We are being asked to rise to a gentlemanly and sportsmanlike code of integrity, truth, and honour that we are honest and true, caring and unselfish, considerate and courteous of others even to our detriment if any of the questions asked of us elicit answers that will put us at disadvantages of cost, time and much more.

The path of lies to power

I think about this and wonder about what example we have from people we have inadvertently put into leadership, people who exhibit no virtues or values, whose acquaintance with the truth and facts is as alien and distant as the east is from the west. It is in the hands of these people with the teams of similar disposition that we have laid the trust of governance and policy with the hope that they will do right.

We live in a tragedy of the times when that which is demanded of those who sit in power is lacking and depressing. Yet, as individuals, we cannot give up, relent, or allow the preponderance of the reprehensible, the irresponsible, and the unconscionable to become our guiding light.

We must stand apart

As the silent majority, we must work to bring the truth to light from under the heaped rubbish of verisimilitude, the ploys and propaganda of taking their many lies told too many times that they almost sound truth.

We can make that solemn oath that our word is our bond, shake hands and know that what is agreed will not be reneged on. Maybe we are old-fashioned, but these things matter today as much as ever. I look around me and for all the people I see, I hope they feel the same way too.

Decade Blogs - Saratu Abiola - On Nigeria and Why Writing Matters

Decade Blogs

If it has not yet occurred to readers of my blog, one of the reasons why I thought of this #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging was to encourage writing. Writing our own stories, in our own way, with our own voice, the best way we can.

I am proud to say that I have a few first time writers and some relapsed writers who have since revived their dormant blogs, then I have the veterans who write either for a living or for pleasure and we are all enriched by the experience.

Blog - To Celebrate My Decade of Blogging

I have known Saratu Abiola as both a voracious reader and an incisive writer, more so a very good reviewer of books, novels, texts, award shortlists and opinions. I am always in a mad rush to see what she has put up on her blog.

Besides maintaining a blog titled Method to the Madness she tweets with the Twitter handle @saratu and is the Political Editor for Nigerians Talk that “provides a Nigerian perspective of issues, and we feature opinion and analysis with a distinctive Nigerian point of view.”

The first paragraph of her piece here is a litany of the typical Nigerian story at any point in time, but as she weaves her thoughts into a narrative, we are given a perspective of what is the Nigerian psyche, our survival instinct and what writing does to give us a clearer perspective of things. This is good reading.

On Nigeria and Why Writing Matters

Another day, another scandal. Someone stole U.S. $50 billion from the crude oil account mere months after someone bought two armoured vehicles that seem to be covered by an invisibility cloak since no one has ever seen them. Let’s not forget, of course, the many days in which schools have been closed, the number of days since the constitutional review process has been abandoned, the impending nationwide strike by doctors, the number of heists pulled that we do not yet even know about. [Reuters] [Vanguard Nigeria] [Vanguard Nigeria] [Premium Times Nigeria] [Premium Times Nigeria]

There is a lot that ails Nigeria and if one reads the news daily or even engages with one’s political environment at all it is sure to be overwhelming. So out of step are our collective reaction to our national malaise that it is tempting as someone who writes – be it fiction or on a blog – to dedicate one’s life to attempting to find the right words to shaking ourselves out of our collective national slumber. What, then, brings about the impetus to write?

There is a recurrent conversation in circles that I orbit about what exactly our responsibilities are to our country as politically-conscious, young Nigerians who want better for Nigeria in creating the country of our dreams. It is a good question, and one worth asking in a country where we are all complicit in the mess that we find ourselves in.

I’m quick to shrug off any moral and/or ethical responsibility ascribed to me, because I know I owe neither a group nor a narrative any room in shaping my life. But I do understand that when you’re in a situation as dire as Nigeria is, with a leadership void as wide and as open as the hungriest mouth, the desire to mould yourself into what is missing in your environment even if it means bending yourself well out of shape.

Writing has helped in seeking answers to this question, but it has also helped to re-centre priorities to more personal aspirations in important ways that I don’t always see. In the daily hustle and bustle of my life, as I jump from one project to another, it is easy to forget that in our pursuit for a better Nigeria, it is important to first seek a better us.

My writing allows me time and tools to process my thoughts; it is my way of keeping my brain-space tidy. I write infrequently, so the jumble of thoughts in my head is like a tornado just swept through it, so the pressure is on each piece of writing to count. Not always a good thing, as it adds undue pressure, but here I am.

Nigeria is very much like that tornado, because it is easy in the aftermath of yet another week of not having light [In Nigerianese, light and electricity supply are synonymous.] or a trip somewhere that makes you wonder why more people are not taking up arms and throwing rotten tomatoes at every government official they can find, to feel the pressure bunching up in your shoulders that must find a way to be released. For me – and I imagine it is so for many bloggers – writing is it, even if it what I’m writing about is not ostensibly about politics.

A friend said to me once: “Saratu, we are all surviving o. Even rich people! IBB [Ibrahim Babangida] and OBJ [Olusegun Obasanjo] and Otedola [Femi Otedola] and Dangote [Aliko Dangote], they are all merely surviving. Look at how we are all scrambling to get all the money we can possibly get, as if we need it to hibernate in winter! If they were sure that they would never be broke and that even if they were less rich it won’t be the worst thing in the world, they’d stop stealing. But that’s not the country we live in. Money rules all. Nothing else matters.”

In a country where we are all in survival mode, the most important relationships we have are transactional ones that help ensure our survival. But what if the urgency we feel about this need for survival was translatable into other less tangible, less capitalistic pursuits? What if we found that our hunger for relevance, for respect, for pride, could be sated in other less avaricious ways?

The urge to write always serves for me as a constant reminder of a more personally fulfilling goal that I could attain from a well within myself. Knowing that it is there and knowing what it does for me is invaluable.

Nigeria: Ekiti elections, a case of conscience before responsibility

Ekiti is not in the kitty

An election rerun took place in Ekiti State in Nigeria and it seems to have sunk into a morass of confusion and chaos. It is amazing that South Africa conducted national elections just last week, the results were released within days and one has not heard of any serious disputes concerning how free or fair the elections were.

The question then becomes why Nigeria just cannot seem to conduct elections successfully without it being mired in some controversy no matter how small the constituency.

However, I would not concentrate on that but on another aspect of public service, responsibility and character.

A resignation to review

It has now transpired that the Resident Electoral Commissioner for Ekiti State has resigned [1] and the less than respected chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has halted the polls indefinitely.

The NEXT news organ obtained a copy of the letter of resignation and it would be the subject of my blog.

The ex-Commissioner, if the President to whom she addressed the letter accepts the resignation goes by Chief (Mrs) Olusola Ayoka Adebayo, I would not deal with the significance and prominence of titles here.

The letter

The text of the letter reads thus:

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing to inform you of my resignation as the Resident Electoral Commissioner for Ekiti-State.

IN accordance with the rule of law, the on-going election in Ekiti State was suppose (sic) to be the election that will enhance the image of INEC, electoral process in our dear country Nigeria and the whole black race. Unfortunately, the circumstances changed in the middle of the process; therefore, my conscience as a Christian cannot allow me to further participate in this process.

I thank you and my great country Nigeria for giving me the rare opportunity to serve.

Yours sincerely.

Heavy hearts

It might be a turn of phrase but I am sometimes concerned when a seemingly formal letter begins with an emotive introduction, however, to follow in the same sense of levity I have decided to consult the Urban Dictionary rather than the usual references for a definition of “heavy heart” [3]; it offers – melancholy, depressed and sad.

Melancholy [4] applies to the mental or emotional symptoms of depression and despondency; the other meanings for depression and sadness are generally clear and accepted.

Now this is the Resident Electoral Commsioner for Ekiti State whose duty it is to conduct elections and return results reflecting the will of the people. In Nigeria, this can be considered a very serious and onerous task; only the bold should take it and they should in my view stay the course unswerved, incorruptible and resolute till they have delivered that will, no time for melancholy, here.

The rule without reference

I cannot really appreciate the context of the second paragraph, if a letter of resignation from a public official should use the phrase “In accordance with the rule of law”, I expect to see the reference to the constitutional provision that underpins that rule allowed for that public official to offer a resignation.

The elections in Ekiti State are still ongoing as it seems and one picture of eligible voters [5] as reported by the NEXT news organ gives a lie to the idea that proposed by the government press that the elections were in any way peaceful.

It also appears the most disturbances and disruption [6] to the electioneering process is in the home city Ido-Osi of the candidate of the ruling party – not good at all.

Great expectations

The Electoral Commission seemed to have great aspirations for her job, she really did think that the elections in Ekiti State would enhance the reputation of INEC, that is naïve in the least considering as the polling descended into chaos and the results were withheld, the INEC Chairman announced the Resident Commissioner was indisposed, which does not seem to have been the case.

To suggest that the election would be an opportunity to improve the electoral process in “our dear country” Nigeria is fallacy, the whole system is flawed, the chief executive of the organisation is discredited and serious reforms to INEC are still lacking, it was unlikely with the highly charged situation in Ekiti State that things would turn out well, but one can give marks for trying.

I am quite affected by the qualification of Nigeria as “our dear country”, maybe it shows a love for motherland, a desire for greater things in the fatherland and quality of patriotism, we all love our country, only if we could love her more to really get lasting change for the better.

The addition of the phrase “the whole black race” is superfluous and delusionary as it is representative of Nigerians generally given to hyperbole. How anyone could aspire to creating examples for a race when we could not successfully implement a process in a tiny region escapes me.

The examples to the whole black race are those in elections conducted in Ghana and South Africa, if we cannot reach that baseline standard; we have no business in delusions of grandeur.

When the going gets tough

And unfortunately, what she set out to achieve seems to have been disrupted and was about to be derailed so she absconded the process and basically has now left the situation to degenerate into what she was primarily there to prevent.

Any person who takes office as an Electoral Commissioner should be under no illusions about the pressures they would be under to skew the process in favour of vested interests, when the going gets tough in a position like that, the tough stand fast, they do not bolt.

It is in the power of official to declare the fair results and leave the rest to legal contest if need be – it simply helps open the whole electoral process to proper scrutiny and the facts would help declare who really won.

This resignation left the whole process in limbo and it has handed the initiative to interests that would definitely move into dictate their will rather than the will of the people, it is interesting that the Electoral Commissioner in now wanted by the police as announced by the Inspector General to substantiate her allegations probably concealed in the phrase “the circumstances changed in the middle of the process”. Nigeria is a place of intrigue.

Conscientiously objecting to responsibility

The letter ends with “my conscience as a Christian cannot allow” this is the part that really gets me; your religious convictions should be of no consequence in the execution of your tasks and responsibility as a public official.

Your integrity and character is not derived from your religious convictions and should not be a feature of formal representation even if your religious convictions give you a moral baseline from which you operate.

We need to separate our religion from our legal responsibilities, especially if our responsibilities are not in the clergy. We get blind-sided by religious references such that we end up not enquiring deeper about the character and intentions of the person.

I do not need your religion

I am not interested in a Christian, Muslim or pagan Electoral Commissioner, I want a commissioner who in the face of pressures and inducements is about to use the conscience they portend to possess to overthrow nefarious activities and sue for the truth to be exposed and upheld in the office that they have been called to serve in.

Nigeria cannot have any progress when people with great aspirations and goals buckle under pressure and cop-out with the excuse that their conscience precludes them from fulfilling their duties and seeing those responsibilities through to an honest, just, fair and truthful conclusion.

In the worst case, the Commissioner should have worked to release results she believed to be the true reflection of the will of the people regardless of what the national commission might have decided to do.

Chief (Mrs) Olusola Ayoka Adebayo was given a “rare opportunity to serve” and I would not be waiting for history to judge that she failed to seize that opportunity and make something of it, the resignation complicates matters but it is also a reflection of religious convictions that constrain people from resolutely and courageously assuming and fulfilling their responsibilities.

In that, I am disappointed for our dear country, Nigeria.

Sources

[1] NEXT: Why I resigned, by Ekiti State Commissioner

[2] Nigeria: Ekiti INEC Resident Commissioner Resigns Under Pressure | AfricanLoft

[3] Urban Dictionary: Heavy Heart

[4] Melancholia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[5] NEXT: Tense Ekiti chooses a governor

[6] Resident Electoral Commissioner Resigns | Sahara Reporters

[7] Channels TV News : Police Declares INEC Resident Electoral Commissioner Wanted

Commending the civic Nigerian

Arise, O Compatriots

First, I must commend ordinary Nigerians, for their longsuffering, unquenchable hope, infectious optimism and sense of civil duty.

The vote was arranged and despite the rotten lack of preparation and planning that would outrage any paying customer, they went out to their local polling stations queued up, waited and eventually some got served, they voted and moved on, they had done their part.

The next level of optimism is in expecting that single vote to count along with all other legitimate votes to produce the for majority will of the people, that person that has ministered the prospective best for Nigeria or the probably aspiration to improving the lot of Nigerians.

I got a feel of this expectation and hope when I spoke to my mum yesterday morning, she was half-hoping her vote would count and half-worried that whatever counts would not produce a mandate accountable to Nigerians, such that the elected once in office would go out to line their pockets as those before them.

The coverage

The BBC and CNN gave considerable coverage to the elections in Nigeria all through the day and I had a suspicious feeling that this was as a result of the shameless gaffe of the Chairman of the INEC when he let out on Friday that the ballot papers were still in South Africa.

It is interesting to note that Nigeria seemingly does not have the kind of facilities secure enough to produce sensitive ballot papers keep those under wraps till needed, for a country that has such a large number of law enforcement agents and armed forces, one would have thought; first a secret location for the activity would be found, then a rotation of personnel would keep the place secure.

However, one might surmise that those personnel could have been persuaded to turn a blind eye to highly place miscreants who want to steal the ballots, though printing the ballots in South Africa would only have put that out of sight of poor resourced bandits.

The wayward ballot

As the day began we heard about a failed attempt to blow up the INEC headquarters with a petrol tanker; I do not know the layout of the area, but one would wonder how such an important building could have be erected in such a vulnerable place at the foot of an incline. Ijebuman has a very interesting take on why the attack was not successful - it would have funny if it were not so tragic, said Chxta; it would have been tragic if it were not so funny, said I.

The ballot papers did arrive in Nigeria at 16:00 on Friday and there began the frenzy to get the ballots out to the polling stations which were to open 2 hours late. INEC even suggested the Air Force might to called upon to help get the papers out to the nether regions, well they should not have been on standby, they should have been engaged in the logistics process as a sure run.

However, a BBC correspondent only had to go to a polling station on the outskirts of Abuja to find that the papers had not arrived hours after the station were supposed to be open.

When some voters learnt that the ballot papers provided who not go round the number of registered voters, they went into a rampage, one of the violent reactions resulted in the death of a few policemen.

Forbearance and patience is giving way to frustration and that gets taken out on hapless officials who have to stretch resources to accommodate the criminal failings of the centre.

All lights come from CNN

When the vote ended, the shame of it all was exposed with an innocuous news item on CNN, the ballot enumerators were seemingly counting in the dark and the lights from CNN were used to help them do the tallies - Why? The most critical infrastructure problem in Nigeria which is the distribution of electricity had failed at a point where Nigeria's great democracy was being exposed to the world.

In secondary school we had lanterns for nights when the light were out, the enumerators could have been given high luminosity lanterns - the quip the the followed the report highlighted the long trail of un-preparedness that the Chairman of INEC would eventually come out to declare a success.

One Ambassador Young appeared on CNN in an interview and tried to equate the irregularities in Nigeria with happenings in Florida 2000 and Georgia, the interviewer did not buy any of that trash.

Religious men or men of integrity

This brings me another issue, about the vote and the progress of democracy. When I called home the undercurrent I received in terms of who people would vote for was that everyone wanted to vote for a godly man.

In fact, it was not so much a godly man because that is a representation of character but religious men, people who wear their religion on their sleeves, whose every waking word includes God vouching for their every deed but whose reality is probably a deceitful lip-service that counts for too much in Nigeria.

It occurred to me that what we really need are men of integrity, honest, truthful and with a sense of responsibility and duty regardless of if they go to Church everyday, pray at the mosque 10 times a day or make chicken sacrifices to animist gods in the deepest jungles.

Basically, religion does not make an honest man, however, if it forms the basis of the principles that guide a man of integrity that is fine. Unfortunately, a lot of religious people would be voted for and if there be a man if integrity amongst them, hopefully that person also has a deep sense of responsibility to know that it is call to serve the people.

Nobody is building Rome again

Rome was not built in a day we hear, time and again, my question is who is trying to build Rome again? That Rome has come and gone and new Rome exists hopefully built on the lessons of the Romes of the past.

In the same vein, nobody goes about reinventing the wheel; we take the same principle and apply to the unsophisticated push cart, the bicycle or expensive automobile.

Why is it that when it comes to democracy in Nigeria we cannot take lessons from other democracies and brains from the conduct of elections even in places like South Africa and Ghana, probably India or the new democracies of Eastern Europe, perhaps the young democracies of Spain and Portugal?

I left out America, Australia, Canada and the UK because the countries mentioned have hardly practiced democracy from more than 60 years, in fact, most have been doing so in the last 10 to 30 years.

Using the experiences of others

It is not as if we do not utilise the best technologies in our banks and business or use the best gadgets to make life easier in Nigeria, at least during the voter registration exercise some bloggers commented about the use of fingerprint technologies.

If for our individual and business good we adopt all these methods, process, procedures and technologies why should the most important common good of Nigeria be left to expectations of poor performance and everyone subscribe to the excuses rather than a clear determination to do things right having learnt lessons and acquired expertise from those who have done it successfully before?

We cannot continue to rely on the hopeful miracle of everything turning out right when adequate planning can do a lot to ensuring that everything does turn out right.

Meanwhile we wait for the legitimate count of the votes, but if 24 instead of 25 presidential hopefuls appear on the ballot papers, we would be doing this again very soon - If the keeps bottle anger permanently corked is another matter entirely.