Could have danced in a dress

When Reality is Good

There are aspects of Reality TV that have served as entertainment, for instance, Strictly Come Dancing on the BBC had me looking for my dancing spirit as my body twitched as I imagined myself twisting hips for the Rumba and all that footwork for the fox trot.

I would not have minded being in a coat and tails or some regal dress – don’t get ideas – doing one of those many moves, it was good clean fun and the judges were not mean-spirited humourless know-it-alls, it is unlikely that a complaint was ever registered for that show.

Not really me at all

I watched a few episodes of the UK version of The Apprentice, but I could not identify with that naked ambition and the Jekyll & Hyde nature of teaming up at one time and back-stabbing later on – I expect better of humanity in all walks of life, which is me being naïve.

The US version of The Apprentice was a complete turn-off, if The Donald does not have an honest friend or employee to tell him to get rid of that comb-over then, they are either so fearful of him or he is completely intolerant of basic truths – I cannot work in such an environment.

I have been through a lot less for better paying jobs that would not carry that much stress and would be just as challenging.

Another reality wreck

However, it would appear Channel 4 reaches for the underbelly of what is all too rotten in human expression; Celebrity Big Brother would appear to be just the tip of the iceberg of revelations that might soon reach your screens in the expected episode of Shipwrecked.

In Shipwrecked, groups of people are supposed to be marooned on islands and through survival skills and other activities get voted off till the team with the largest number wins the prize. There was a similar genre episode that plumbs the depths of bad history when the teams were separated by race and pitched against each other.

If we could, the future, see

However, from the snippets we have seen on television of the one to be aired, an 18-year old gap year student – the gap being where her brain should be – has been schooled in the vitriol of race supremacy when she says things like, “When I look out at what Britain is, it's just a complete mess. I don't appreciate how people come into our country and take over our country. Britain's really not Britain anymore. My mind is completely open to different cultures, but I don't think they should bring them to Britain.”

Well, I have news for that girl, I do not like what Britain has become either, such unschooled, pig-ignorant, brainless kids being born into my country by irresponsible parents without an iota of societal responsibility or any gumption to bring up their kids properly, animals in the zoo present themselves in better light.

Neuter them all

And I have been a Briton for at least 22 years before that oaf was born, I am utterly distraught, if we could see into the future, no greater service could have been done for the memory of the British Empire than for her parents to be sterilised.

Then she goes on to say, “I'm for the British Empire and things. I'm for slavery, but that's never going to come back.” Well, I wonder what history book she has been reading and since it is possible she has been reading history backwards, I’ll give a version that sits well with me, I will bring back the old times, I am also for slavery and I’ll have her for a slave, not for a nickel, not for a dime, not for a farthing but for a shovel of guano and I would have paid too much.

We are told she was redeemed during the show as her views changed after she was challenged by other contestants, I wonder if that is good or it is better she had never been born.