Brian at 49

A Journey Long Delayed

I was out socialising in Johannesburg, a journey I had finally scheduled after vacillating for weeks over the idea of travelling to South Africa, at the end of 2018.

Though the thought was on my mind, I had other pressing concerns. Only a few weeks prior, in October 2018, I had undergone a colonoscopy, and I can testify that the insertion of a tube at either end is thoroughly unpleasant. I speak as one who had also had a camera tube trailed down my oesophagus into the duodenum in mid-May 2026.

This was a time when I was shuttling between Manchester and Cologne. In one of those moments of self-talk, I said to myself, "If you do not book this trip, you'll regret it."

An Unexpected Encounter

While in Cologne, I booked a flight to Johannesburg, flying out from Manchester on Christmas Eve to arrive in Johannesburg on Christmas Day, via Paris.

It was on my third night that I ventured out and, ensconced in a corner as the introvert, I sat and observed others. Earlier, I had seen this man, but I perished the thought of an encounter; he looked already spoken for, and quite out of my league.

Then, probably an hour after I first saw him, and he must have been observing me too, he came round and said hello. I am not good in crowds, but if anyone makes a beeline towards me, I might just be eased out of my shell; and did he not tease me out of my social reclusiveness.

Conversation Never Stopped

We started to talk, then went to the bar and ordered drinks. I would usually be teetotal, but time slipped away until he had to go; he was returning to Bulawayo late the next day. I used the opportunity to ask whether we could have lunch together, before his departure for Zimbabwe.

I was about to hail a cab when his friend offered to give me a lift to my hotel. The lively conversation continued in the car until I was dropped off. Our earlier exchange of phone numbers meant the chatting carried on through the night, until we were overcome by tiredness.

Meeting Brian

Just before noon, I asked whether he was still up for lunch. That was our first date. When I left the UK, I was nine years into grieving the loss of a friend, a loss that carried the undercurrent of never having had the opportunity to say goodbye. I left Johannesburg having made a friend with whom the communication and conversation never stopped.

There was a connection between us and, though we only had a brief moment together, we were back seeing each other in late February. That is how I met Brian, who is 49 today.

Brian Birthday 49.pptx by Akin Akintayo

A Google NotebookLM AI Podcast on this blog

Strength to Endure: A Year of Recovery, Work, and Gratitude

Jolly Off the Year

As my year of work concludes today, I am filled with wonder and gratitude for all it has been. For so long, I have had the opportunity to finish the year on or just before my birthday; that's one of the benefits of it falling just ten days before the end of the year.

A Year of Significance

Many things make this year significant. A year ago, I was recuperating in Cape Town after radiotherapy for prostate cancer. It was also a difficult time; we had barely enough to make ends meet, but for the generosity of friends who contributed to help.

Although I should have extended my sick leave, I was eager to return home and regain some normalcy. From my experience 14 years ago, one of the signs of recovery was returning to doing what you once did: work, travel, the everyday routines, even if there was barely any strength to cope.

The Return Home

I returned to Manchester on the 30^th of December to find my home in complete disarray, and I had a house sitter for the seven weeks I was abroad. After about 20 hours of travel from door to door, I still don't know where I found the strength to run the vacuum cleaner around the apartment while keeping my composure at the state of my home, the occupant aware of when I was returning.

On the 3^rd of January, I signed on my work laptop and informed my managers that I would be back on Monday, the 6^th of January, and we would take it as we went. I did not use a paced return-to-work plan but dove straight in. Aside from the two-week break I took at the end of August into September, I have worked every single day, bar public holidays and hospital appointment days.

The Body's Remarkable Capacity

The body’s ability to adapt and condition itself to the challenges of a working environment, without what I had previously experienced, is admirable. The side effects of fatigue, nightly insomnia, bladder incontinence, and a fluctuating voice, notwithstanding, strength grew to endure and thrive.

There were times I wondered if, by the will of my spirit over the exhaustion of my body, I was doing too much and not adjusting pace, momentum, pressure, and ease enough. Thankfully, I had great support from my manager. He demonstrated much emotional intelligence and empathy as I pushed myself, sometimes being the first in the office and the last to leave.

The People in My Circle

Brian, my daily strength and support; Kola, my friend into the fifth decade; Funmi, who took me from the office at closing during the summer months; colleagues who were kind, understanding, and considerate; and the professional support personnel who listened, advised, and counselled. I could not have had better people around me.

To a stranger, they wouldn’t realise this was a man, 18 months after a prostate cancer diagnosis that required active treatment starting 15 months ago. Then, in September, the PSA readings were the lowest they have ever been. I read stories of men whose results were over 40 times the highest reading I had in March 2024.

Gratitude and Blessings

God, I am grateful for Your mercies and loving kindness.

To top it all, I still had 14 days of annual leave at the start of the month and agreed to work five more days this year, with the plan to carry those five days over into 2026. On the eve of turning 60, it has been a wonderful year. I am blessed beyond measure, and that is my testimony, for I live to tell better stories. Thank you to all who made 2025 the year it was, and there is more to come.

Blessed and fortunate is who I am

The Quiet Event

I have been asked several times what I am doing for my birthday, and the honest truth is, I am not doing much; perhaps only if something happens that I probably have no part in. The sense of occasion seems to overwhelm me; I would prefer to withdraw into solitude rather than participate in some celebration.

The last significant event surrounding my birthday was when I turned 49. It was all arranged by a young friend, and there were many guests, most of whom were acquaintances rather than close friends. As the celebration reached its peak at my friend's apartment, I withdrew to rest. I was already in dreamland when the last guest departed.

Yet each revolution around the sun does call for a celebration. I mark each one with thankfulness and gratitude. I am profoundly fortunate and blessed, which I recognise without dispute or argument.

A Dreadful Condition Loomed

When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in June 2024, I was advised to commence active treatment. I told the doctors I had other plans: I was going on holiday, and it was only after returning that I would begin to consider what lay ahead.

My plan at that time was to spend time with Brian, but it was also a difficult period. I was reading correspondence between doctors about my case, and besides learning of the cancer diagnosis over a week before meeting with the specialist (due to mishandling of my records), I also saw that their chatter suggested the cancer was malignant.

To a layperson like me, I did not realise that all cancers are considered malignant in medical terms. Though in reality, the meaning wasn’t far off: it was evil, malevolent, dangerous, invasive, and possibly aggressive as well.

Batting and Battling in the Mind

Not only was the prospect daunting, but it was also frightening. I had to take control of the thoughts rushing through my mind and fill my listening with sermons about healing and living. Sometimes a creeping cloud would interfere, emboldening thoughts I was trying hard not to entertain: the idea that this cancer, which I could neither see nor feel, had the capacity to kill.

I fought off these invasions of morbidity and mortality, encouraging myself that I would see the better end of this ordeal. I would walk through the valley of the shadow and fog of cancer to emerge into the brilliant light of the sun, into green pastures and beside still waters.

The goodness and mercy of God, along with faith in the same, restored my soul and gave me hope. It was not going to be a journey without support for both the good times and the bad.

Looking to the Best Ahead

As it turned out, after completing radiotherapy, I took an extended sick leave and spent seven weeks in Cape Town with Brian. I had wished to celebrate this occasion with him; my hopes did not turn into concrete plans, but I do not view that as unfortunate. Opportunities once lost can be reclaimed, even after a temporary setback.

We will do more of this, not just in visits and fleeting moments, but also in the near future of living together, where absence would be reserved for the mundane and routine daily matters, such as work and university.

Every morning will begin with a smile, a kiss, and a prayer, and every night with gratitude, a kiss, and joy in our hearts. We live to tell better stories, and my mouth is full of testimonies of such stories.

Thought Picnic: Resilience in adversity

Rich in experiences

As I stood outside my apartment a few weeks ago waiting to be given a lift to one of my radiotherapy sessions, a man I did not immediately recognise approached me and introduced himself as one of the estate agents who used to manage my property. He asked how I was, and a short conversation ensued.

I informed him as my voice was weak that I was taking treatment for prostate cancer, and he must have wondered how much misfortune can befall a man? For a time, I was out of work and then found work that was essentially a zero-hours contract, highly paid, but no hours to book, for I was assigned no projects.

Being behind on my rent, the estate agent did everything to lure me out of my sense of independence to seek entitlements from the state. It was humbling but I put myself into it, attended every appointment, and dressed up properly in a suit and tie that they considered taking a picture of me as an example of how to appear at the job centre.

Keeping on in crisis

Things were tight, but the little that came in helped to keep a roof over my head even with the threat of ejection looming sometimes too close for comfort. I kept looking forward, availing myself of opportunities to enter gainful employment along with the possible transition from being self-employed after over 20 years to becoming an employee.

For months, I was putting in so many applications for jobs with no responses, my resume had many iterations and editions, even as experts opined that my original profile was good enough. In the meantime, I had suffered a crisis of confidence and unfortunately, some of whom I hoped to buoy me up in those low times also began to lose faith in me.

My partner and my best friend were the constant cheerleaders through these dark times and sadly if one were to be honest, I could not even rely on my mother for that kind of support. To those whose close relationship in bad times became evidently transactional, they were not heard from because what they relied on no more supplied the largesse they had grown used to.

Be relentless regardless

It was tough but I was unbowed, showed up where I needed to, was enthusiastic about things I never gave my mind to, tried things I never considered doing before and began to find a new sense of purpose, drive, and direction. I owe that spirit of resilience to my faith, many examples impactful or basic, from sometimes uncommon places and people.

You can post six hundred applications for jobs, but you must keep posting until you get one and it is just one where someone sees a lot more in your profile than pertains and is ready to find out how interesting a person you are. Indeed, I did post that many applications and had to document them as part of my commitments that secured my state entitlements. You cannot relent.

Live your human story well

Adversity will always be part of man's experience; it becomes part of our stories, but the difference is in how we face such circumstances to determine how we are affected by them. Whatever the estate agent might have thought about my situation, I was living it and decidedly dealing with it.

Cancer was discovered, treatments discussed, and radiotherapy was selected. Get on with it and look back at it in time as part of your human story.

I count my blessings and refuse to dwell on the problems, they will pass, and much will be learnt in understanding where to place one’s confidence and trust. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.” [Bible Hub: Psalm 34:19 (NLT)]

Having a spirit of gratitude

Guy Penrod - Count Your Blessings (Live) Gaither Music TV.

With tears of joy

“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Helen Keller

There are variations of the quote above attributed to others in sermons, books, or articles, however, Helen Keller was profound in the fact that she was both blind and deaf from the age of 19 months old.

What is significant about this saying is having a great sense of gratitude regardless of your circumstances, because there is almost definitely someone quite worse off than you are.

Sometimes, I just watch one of those talent shows to see surprising performances from amazing and extraordinary people who have overcome serious adversity to showcase their talent before what eventually is a global audience. The times I have cried for joy on their behalf are innumerable as you reflect on the goodness of life you enjoy.

Join with the blessed

Learning not to be pitiful, but exceedingly thankful is a state of mind; maybe even the grace of being able to put things in perspective. Giving not too much weight to what is going wrong when you can lift your spirits with what is going right.

Knowing how to count your blessings, great and small, naming them one by one like the old hymn says, can make all the difference to how your day is going. 

I take much encouragement from the beauty and support that surrounds me, Brian, who is ever loving and unstintingly filling my ears with loveliness, friends who have my back through thick and thin, God, my rock, my shield, my shelter, my comfort, and my strength. [Hymnary.org Count Your Blessings]

When the going gets tough, and the outlook seems rough, you feel you have had enough. “Do not be discouraged, God is over all; Count your many blessings, angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.”

Body talk and blessings

The things that wear well

About a week ago, I got sent a picture taken at an event I attended about 3 decades ago, I was both shocked and surprised as I did not know the picture existed.

How I have changed, in all that time and remain more or less the same. I guess one of the things striking about the picture was the jacket I was wearing then and to think that I not only still have the jacket, but it also fits well, I wore it to church just 3 Sundays ago.

That is durability for you, the good sense of spending money on good quality that lasts. Clothes, shoes, hats, umbrellas, or accessories like a pair of binoculars, and I can point to stuff that I bought in the 90s that is wearable or useful today.

The measures that remain true

The other matter is the body, how our bodies change or the way we work on ensuring the body remains fit and trim if you can put the essential work into it.

It is my weight that bothers me more than anything else and then the need to ensure my tummy does not distend and become protuberant.

Except for when I lost 25% of my weight during a bout of cancer, I have kept my weight within 5kg of 83kg, preferring to weigh on the lower side rather than the upper side for a height of 183cm or six feet. In the shops, it appears they do not expect someone with a 32” (81.3cm) waist to be tall, I need according to our UK measurements, a 34” (86.4cm) inside leg.

It is a great blessing

It is a struggle to find that fitting off-the-peg, Brian who is trimmer and taller can wear my trousers, he just needs one more hole in the belt, I think. He always looks so cute beside me.

I do wonder how people cope with the excess that they carry around, the belaboured breathing and other encumbrances that are associated with tending towards obesity.

Maybe I have just been blessed with a body that sticks close to form, even my neck has stuck to 16.5” (42cm) for as long as I can remember.

In everything, I am thankful and blessed be the name of the Lord.

Thought Picnic: Whilst in the midst of life unkindly, I look up still

Keeping it to ourselves

Typically, we are advised not to talk much about going through issues, trials, and tribulations whilst within the mix of the experience as they make for better stories when told after the fact. In the secrecy of what we hold somewhat sacred to avoid shame, embarrassment, ridicule, or pity, we soldier on in life batting away in the hope that we make an innings of significance.

Yet, the life of man is made up of events too many to number, even as we highlight the exciting ones more and the depths receive nothing but silent contemplation where even ignorance or unfamiliarity limits understanding of how to get help or assistance through the hardest of times.

Live life for the better

At one point, I was even counselled to present my situation as more pathetic, the thought made me feel like a fraud, bad things happen to people regardless of where they are in life, in the depths of misfortune there is hope and blessing to consider, for as one has life, there is much more possible beyond the present circumstances.

Indeed, I find myself at crossroads, buffeted from every angle and needing to make some consequential decisions as there is what I would want to happen, what I want to achieve, where my heart wants to be, and options laid before me that challenge many frames of reference. Yet, none is that new to me, just that the apparent solutions seem less easy to access than they seemed to be before.

Make a story of you

This morning, I encountered three sets of new stories, an entertainer I knew from over 30 years ago, who as drag queen Lily Savage, performed at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern before they made a successful career on television and radio passed on [Paul O’Grady], the legal position that might suddenly render me homeless was deemed valid, and a titan in Pentecostal circles, who founded the Hillsong Church and has met with increasing misfortune was landed with a drink-driving charge [Brian Houston].

Whilst it gives many opportunities to reflect, the cycles of life are interesting; where there is an end, others are left to mourn and celebrate your legacy, however, whilst you live, you face the journey ahead of you, in Manchester, in a possible California, or in a likely Cape Town, there is a story itching to be told and I guess I am the man for all his experiences to tell another interesting story again.

For all that I have suffered with the bad experiences, it does not make me any less grateful for the wonderful blessings that have given me much to celebrate and that is what I would do, count my blessings as I step up and out to new experiences.

Blog - Homeless! My exciting life takes a new chapter

Blog - England: How Lewisham Single Homeless Intervention Prevention humiliated me

Blog - Opinion: We cannot for our comfort ignore the homeless

55 years of blessings

Every day a blessing

Every day from Tuesday the 22^nd of September 2009 has been a blessing for it was the day I was admitted to hospital presenting aggressive cancer as a result of complications of HIV/AIDS for which the prognosis was probably only 5 weeks to live if I could not tolerate the regimen of medication and chemotherapy that was required to give me a chance of living.

Then again, each day from Tuesday the 21^st of December 1965 has heralded blessings innumerable even on days I would never hope to relive but each and every one of them has passed into history to become a story, a testimony, a reflection of gratitude for the grace and mercies that have filled my life with wonder even if in the telling it rarely gets a feeling of awe. I was born at just over 26 weeks and here we are.

Thankful for the year

2020 has been a year of strangeness and difference, days became months of uncertainty but buoyed by hope and a sense that Psalm 23 revealed anew to me than it was a passing through a valley of the shadow of death from exhausted green pastures and stale still waters to fresh green pastures and refreshing still waters, we press on forward speaking of goodness and mercy that follows all the days of our lives. See the links below.

Blog - The changing texts of religious meditation

Blog - Psalm 23 comes alive with new insight

Writing today of my 55^th birthday fills me with such joy and happiness, celebrating it with my lover and partner, Brian means everything to me. Yet, in everything, through sometimes strained communication and relationships, my parents have been beacons of amazing support, my many siblings give me a sense of family weighty at times and honourable in everything.

Grateful for life and living

Then my friends, Kola who I have known since time began, there are many trials I would never have seen through without his friendship, Funmi who I have missed for over a year since before the pandemic began, a confidante, and more. Patrick who especially in this year was available in every way to nurse me back to health early this year, fight my cause in the tardy response of the NHS, he became my neighbour and family for these strange times.

Beyond the named friends, many who have contributed in no small measure to giving me a sense of fulfilment and have contributed to the sense of gratitude that makes this day so special. Let us celebrate life even in the midst of a pandemic and most of all cherish every moment we have been given for the possible opportunity of telling a better story. Thank you for celebrating with me, the joy of living.

Music is the portal to my happy garden

How could it not be there?

I found myself running ragged not around the house but in my head, a song tailed off in my head, not one I have heard in a while, but it reminded me of a very happy place. I think of smells, conditions and music that take me to a happy sense of warmth and ease.

It was a song by Prince, so I thought I would play it back from my music cache in the cloud, I could not understand how I could not find the artist or any album. How could it not be in my collection? That is how my head got racing, quite perturbed, it had to be somewhere, on a disk or USB key, but I was not ready to start a search for that.

Alright, on another day

I do remember years ago, I used to play the music back on my mobile phone, but this was my third or fourth phone since then. Surely, I must have transferred the music files too. As luck would have it, it was on my current phone.

Next, get the files to the cloud. Not that easy, the file management on my phone does not offer raw access to the data. I plug it into my laptop, the music shows up in Windows Media Player, but the album information tag is lost. Not tonight.

We’ll just let it play off the mobile phone speaker even though it does not offer the best sound. Another day to fight that battle of merging all my music in one place. Meanwhile, I have merged the prolific output of the 3 albums of Emancipation in a playlist of the same name in shuffle mode and my dreamy self goes back to Christmas 1996.

The happy place, again

It was a Christmas present from my then partner’s parents. I could say I love every song on the albums, but some just stand out in musicianship and lyrical prowess. Nothing like the screeching falsetto of my classmate in secondary who should have been unheard singing, Ain’t got no money.

The best compendium of Prince music is PrinceVault and everything you need to know about Emancipation is there. [PrinceVault: Emancipation]. My favourite remains the mystical and spiritual The Holy River. I could meditate on the lyrics, the music, the story on constant replay. The thought of being drowned in a holy river to be delivered to a new life is a rebirth I love. Music is definitely the portal to my happy garden.

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Blog - Thought Picnic: Find your holy river in which to drown

Blog - Prince (1958 - 2016)

Blog - Chasing waterfalls of life

I'll be just fine

Getting to my happy place

Sometimes, caught in the solitude of being alone your mind drifts in search of something that makes everything feel good or right. There are no easy finds because it is much like the hopes of a fisherman who pushes his boat out to sea in the hope to land fishes in his net.

Then I realise I do not have to be so forlorn, as I look for my happy place. It is not a destination but a reckoning, I count my blessings. The wonderful happening to me, the good that has come to me, my appreciation of those who remember me, my friends of great consideration, and the man who in my thoughts always brings a smile to my face, warming my heart in this quest of love in which we have agreed to walk together.

Indeed, there are many blessings of the past to count, but the present is a continuous blessing of life, of hope, of love and of beauty. I can have the expectation that when I cast my net, I would catch a bountiful harvest of fish. I’m sailing back to the pier happy and laden with fat fish.

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Thought Picnic: I own my stupid choices to overcome my human weaknesses

Count your blessings

In our seemingly ordinary, uneventful and mundane lives, a bit of introspection, reflection and recollection can reveal a life of adventure and enchantment, in the moments, events, experiences and adventures that have engaged us.

As the old song goes, “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.” The many times we forget to be appreciative of the little and large things that have come into our lives to give us a sense of contentment, maybe happiness or even the joy of living. There is much to celebrate about life that we could so easily forget.

The human misery

Beyond this, there is another matter of serious import that pertains to how we see ourselves in the world, in relationships, in friendships and other interactions in the community, in society, at work and within the expression of the expanse of the humanity we might have.

Each and everyone might have encountered something in the spectrum of adversity, of crises, of infirmity, of incapacity, in failure, in disappointment, in despair and whatever negative situation has tested our sense of self.

Admit your choices

One would not be remiss to state that where many issues might be unfortunate, there are some where we must honestly admit responsibility for. The courage to admit to one’s choices and the consequences that have resulted from those choices then face up to them even if it reveals ignorance, foolishness, stupidity, obduracy, truculence, hypocrisy, vulnerability, selfishness, cowardice, or evasiveness on our part is probably the beginning of self-awareness.

In my own life, I have made many bad choices that have resulted in life-changing circumstances, I am gay, it is no impediment. I chose on certain occasions to practice unsafe sex despite the risks it posed. By reason of this, I discovered in 2002 that I was HIV positive.

Freedom by truth

Then, there was no policy to adopt immediate treatment, out of fear, possibly ignorance and maybe even a sense of invincibility, I allowed over 7 years for HIV to ravage my body whilst I lived in denial of what might happen. Then in early 2009, the discolourations on the soles of my feet which I first ignored and then thought was Athlete’s foot fungus was then diagnosed as Kaposi’s Sarcoma, a kind of skin cancer and a clear indication of full-blown AIDS.

I could say I was unfortunate, yet the truth is I allowed this to happen because of the choices I made and the resulting consequences of loss in many areas of my life that I had to rebuild my life again are part of what I must face as my own folly for which I found remediation and treatment to give me a new lease on life. I own my faults, to first forgive me, to then understand myself better, to learn from my mistakes and misstep and hope that the knowledge gives me a better respect for life, in me and in others along with a spirit of encouragement to impart to others that come across my way.

Our burdensome responsibility

Owning our choices in career decision-making, in choosing partners for friendship, companionship, relationship, marriage, or business is another area where was should not seek to claim all the benefits when they come and be quick to blame others when things turn sour. If it did not work out, such is life, we move on rather than cultivate resentment to others and allow bitterness to take root.

Too many people are hurting from all sorts of experiences, the wrongs we think have been done to us by family near and others not so near in the many encounters we have in life, we tend to think we can assuage our hurt by hurting others. Even in my own experiences, there are things that still rankle and hurt, yet, I must find the peace I need in myself through forgiveness, through not reacting to every provocation, through finding a positive seam in a negative situation, sometimes by laughing through the pain because the apparent delirium is a surprising painkiller.

Lemonade from lemons

Yes, making the choice to walk away after the choice that made you walk into the pit of indignity and every inconvenience that heralds the most uncomfortable place to be is quite within our power to exercise and execute, albeit with difficulty, but it must be done for the story of our lives to get better than they seem to be when enmeshment in turmoil.

Indeed, from where I stand today, I have been given a better story because accepting the humility of my stupid choices have given me the capacity to have a vision, a hope and a path that starts from this moment into a better version of myself and the possibility of dreams coming true.

I count my blessings, embrace my privilege, I do not condemn myself in the things I have allowed, I don’t repudiate my identity, I honour my expression with candour and count myself among the blessed, the fortunate and the lucky. I am full of gratitude and thankfulness; this journey has been one that is appreciative of everyone friend and foe that has taught me to be more human.

Thought Picnic: God's Grand Plan of Fixing my Slashed Tyre

The plans I made

Despite all I have seen, if I had to be told I live a wonderful life and not realise it myself, I would have failed to count the many blessings, small and large that waylay me at every turn and bring me such happiness, fun, joy and encouragement.

I planned to attend prayer meeting at church this evening and had arranged to meet up with a friend two stations further on to journey together to church.

Usually, I cut it fine with just enough time to ride my bicycle to the station, lock it up and catch the train, but I also needed to get tickets so I made much more allowances for that and just some time.

The plans overturned

I got ready, unchained my bicycle and one look at the front tyre showed that someone had found the bizarrely twisted pleasure to dig in the tyre and slashed the inner tube – that this should happen in front of my house was just cutting, I had never in my 12 years of living in the Netherlands and many times of securing my bicycle outside had my tyres slashed and it is only in my first year that I ever and only once had my bicycle stolen.

I reported the event on Twitter, got sympathy and I never thought it could ever have been a hate crime; my street does have quite an international feel to it.

New plans working fine

Putting my cane together, I walked up to the bus stop informing my friend that I might not catch the pre-arranged train, but I was just in time for the bus, to get my ticket and catch the train. The clouds were looming ready to belch their store of rain and I did not think I was that prepared but my trusty umbrella was in my bag. We met up and travelled to church, my umbrella saving us from getting drenched to the skin.

We were on time to help set up the meeting room and the meeting started as I thought about how to get the bicycle to the repair shop just about 2 kilometres away and how long it would take to repair the bicycle before I could use it again – all sorts of permutations of solutions tried to take away my concentration but I persevered in prayer all the same. The prayer sessions were exciting, different and really edifying before we had a break.

My friend returned home and then I asked another friend residing in my city if I could have a lift back home. That was arranged when I saw that my neighbour arrive for the leadership and volunteers training session.

Altering the plan

After the session, I asked if I could have a ride back home and he obliged, I cancelled the other arrangement, we got in the car where I told him the tale of my slashed bicycle tyre.

He just about encouraged me enough to get my hands dirty after he shared with me how he learnt to be a handyman having known nothing about maintaining and repairing motorbikes just two years before.

I was not sure but I was willing to try, I really did not have to wheel my bicycle to the repair shop or remove the wheel and hump that by bus to the repair shop, I just needed to find out what size of tube I needed, get that from the shop, remove the old tube, take out the wheel, put in the new tube in the tyre, let in some air to set it on the wheel, then put the tyre back on, fix the wheel and then pump the tyre to the right pressure.

The part about letting some air into the tube was quite useful information borne from experience; I was somewhat ready to try something very different.

An unexpected plan

When we got home, I showed him my bicycle as he concluded it was a slashing rather than a mere puncture. He read the measurements for the tyre and then it suddenly occurred to him that he might have a spare tube in his car.

Apparently, a few weeks before, he bought two different sizes of inner tube for his bicycle being unsure of which size will fit and on fitting the right one he had lost the receipt he needed to return the other tube for a refund.

That tube just happened to be the right size for my tyre as I planned that I would fit it on the morrow only wondering about where I might have put my bicycle pump. The lights were down and the dark of the night had come as he offered that we do it there and then.

So I wheeled the bicycle into his backyard and he set up the lights, got out his tool box and disconnecting the brakes, he got out the old tube, loosened the wheel and put in the new tube, applied manly grease to the nuts and threading and basically put my bicycle back together again.

You cannot make up such as story if you wanted to, Buddy who might not have known for sure why he obtained two tubes and that he will have a passenger in his car on his ride back home, but he was the answer to the incongruous, the improbable and literally uncanny – maybe God does move in mysterious ways His wonders to perform, but at the end, it all came together in a grand plan none of us could have contrived.

Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?

I know that I was distraught, probably annoyed and at a time confused as to why anyone would find any pleasure in the wilful destruction of another man’s property but I was never bitter. There was going to be a solution eventually but it never went according to my plan and it was solved long before the day was over without me having to worry much and spend anything apart from the wheeling of the bicycle to the backyard and lifting the wheel ignorantly off the frame before checking where the washers were.

My friend, Buddy was a God-send beyond anything I could have imagined and I was grinning from ear-to-ear after it was all done with care, consideration, charity and kindness in an expression of unconditional love. "Buddy, you've been a great buddy," I said. Yes, that is his wonderful name lived out to reality.

In the last two months, goodness, mercy, kindness, favour and goodwill has chased me down and overtaken me so many times, as a man of faith, I can only say God has my back and has my concerns to mind – it is just amazing that God had already set in motion the plan to fix my slashed tyres long before it happened and it is a wonder how many times we have missed latching onto the good things He has planned for us long before we reached the difficult paths, situations and circumstances we come up against in our daily lives. 

My Shehecheyanu - 7 Dutch Years

On Saturday the 20^th of May 2000, I set sail for a land far away from home, to live with people of a strange tongue, they welcomed me, succoured me and gave me new perspectives, vision, aims and goals. Home was London the land was the Netherlands.

I am thankful for the way things have turned out; I am still a wayfaring man at heart looking for ways to continual remain relevant in the many spheres of my life.

Whilst my religious inclinations are in an abeyance of sorts, deep down in my heart and soul, I thank the Almighty God for all the blessings and favour that have come my way and sustained me through funny, happy, strange, restless and crazy times, which are many.

I can with gladness of heart say my personalised version of the Shehecheyanu, the special Jewish prayer at august occasions.

Blessed are You, My God,
Creator of time and space,
Who has supported me, protected me,
And brought me to this moment.

I love the Netherlands.