Dispute Resolution 101: Make it a reasonable and respectful appeal to their good nature

The sweet fragrance of language

Just a few hours after someone suggested that the way I write is ornate, I had to dig into the reserves of that sometimes flowery and elegant use of the English language to dispute a penalty fine and write an appeal.

As I was about to pay for a service yesterday, I found that my bank card had been blocked, a penalty fine had been applied to my account that my bank in their probably aggressive fraud checks decided was questionable, so they held up the transaction and blocked my card.

Looking up what had happened, our local transport service provider had applied a penalty charge on my card for my journey back home from the hospital, I got a bit emotional.

Banking on prudent checks

My bank sent a text message early in the morning to ask if I recognised the transaction, I knew the vendor, but I did not recognise the one-handed cash grab, something inadvertent had happened, and this was grounds for appeal.

I disputed the charge, called the bank and at the third time of asking the obsequious and unintelligent bot, it handed me over to a human being. It eventually realised, “Can I speak to a human being?” meant just that.

The bank with their layers of security and protocols lifted the pending charge but said I must contact the vendor and be ready to prove that I had done that as part of the dispute resolution process. My card was unblocked, and then I logged on to the vendor site to address the matter of penalty fares.

Circumstances are part of the story

My visit to the hospital left me a bit troubled but I also wanted to stop along the way back home to do some shopping. Using my phone, I tapped the contactless reader at the beginning of my journey and disembarked at the next stop. 

That was where I had forgotten to tap out for that journey. 30 minutes later, after doing my shopping, I was back at the same stop where I tapped in again and remembering my earlier mistake, I tried to tap again, but the system indicated I was tapping in twice.

I boarded the tram and at the following stop ticket inspectors got on and checked passengers for evidence of valid travel tickets for their journeys, my phone bleeped their device and I thought that was the situation resolved. I then tapped out at my destination and walked home. The penalty charge of £60 came 2 days later.

The scaffolding of an appeal

Thankfully, my phone records the exact times of tapping the contactless reader, with all the series of taps documented. After filling in the mandatory fields on the vendor website, these were the characteristics of my appeal and dispute.

• I shared the circumstances and my state of mind after my hospital visit.
• I logged every instance of using the contactless reader and agreed that I might have forgotten to tap out at the first stop out of the distraction indicative of my hospital visit.
• I then detailed all the other encounters before appealing that these were extenuating circumstances to rescind both the penalty fine and any further proceedings related to the journeys of the said day.
• I closed my appeal by thanking them for their understanding.

Appeal by appealing to their good nature

Now, I have seen appeals and disputes written by some rather more erudite and learned people than me, everything suggested their appeal would not be successful for many reasons. They were angry, ranting and raving about the system, projecting their superiority and emotions into their arguments, and making demands and threats.

The whole reason for an appeal is to appeal to the good nature of whoever might read your disputation. You do this respectfully knowing they have a job to do, you invite them to walk in your shoes, so they are persuaded to see things from your perspective and engage others if there is an escalation, to agree with your viewpoint.

You appreciate what they do and ask for their consideration of what you desire, a refund without dragging out the dispute, then close the appeal with thanks.

Do what works not what rankles

The art of effective communication is in the use of language and the appreciation and respect of the reader. It has worked for me in many places, at work, in business, and in my general writing, especially for formal communication. Deploy the skill deftly.

When I need to be fierce, ranting, debunking, condemning, and excoriating, that only applies to other issues where I am not seeking a dispute resolution in an appeal process.

Yes, my appeal was successful, I will be refunded the penalty charge, that is what I wanted to achieve and nothing more. The lesson is that the tap-in tap-out system works best when there are barrier gates at the entry and exit points, else, if you forget, the system is not as forgiving as you might expect.

The person who reviewed my appeal did say, “As it appears you intended to touch in for this journey, we have upheld your appeal on this occasion. We will shortly be refunding £60 to your account and recalculate your charges for the day to what you would have paid had the correct touches been made.” They came onside and were amenable to my wishes. That is what matters.

Barclays Bank has severed its relationship with Core Issues Trust, that's fair

A petition I could not support

I was invited earlier today to register a protest in favour of a British Christian organisation called the Core Issues Trust that according to them works to help people with homosexual inclinations reform and realigning towards what might be pertaining to a norm.

Now, Core Issues Trust has a lot to say about themselves and that is a valid issue, I also want to know what others say about them because they are and the premise of their petition which I do not support is to have the Barclays Bank reinstate the backing services they have allegedly withdrawn from their putative customer at the behest of the agitations of certain forceful LGBTI groups.

Core Issues Trust avers that they are “a non-profit Christian ministry supporting men and women with homosexual issues who voluntarily seek change in sexual preference and expression.” Then reinforces the point by saying, ‘It respects the rights of individuals who identify as 'gay' who do not seek change, and supports dignity for LGBT persons. It does not support gay "marriage" - usually considered an "equality" issue, premised on the belief that being gay is "biological" and is therefore unchangeable.’ [Core Issues Trust]

It is Conversion Therapy

Yet, when I view the Wikipedia entry for the same organisation, I see another face of the organisation, “The Trust claims it is possible to change sexuality and offers "psycho-therapeutic" conversion therapy for homosexual behaviour and feelings. Core Issues Trust states it believes human sexuality in both men and women is a choice; and that sexual preference can and should be changed. The Trust says it does not consider homosexuality a native human behavior, but rather a relational or sexual "damage" that causes "deviancy" that it may be "cured".” [Wikipedia: Core Issues Trust]

My reading of this is unequivocal, this organisation is engaged in Conversion Therapy in everything but name, it is well understood that Conversion Therapy is not only harmful, there are laws being promulgated around the world with outlaw it. “There is no reliable evidence that sexual orientation can be changed and medical institutions warn that conversion therapy practices are ineffective and potentially harmful.” [Wikipedia: Conversion Therapy]

However, I respect the right of Core Issues Trust to render whatever services they deem necessary as their somewhat wholesome contribution to society whilst bearing in mind that many organisations involved in sexuality realignment have folded in comprehension of the reality of what core sexuality pertains.

Freedom to harm others

Core Issues Trust remonstrates that this matter is one of religious freedom and from their perspective, it might be, but I take exception to people and organisations who project their freedoms as the licence to act according to their beliefs that would inadvertently or demonstrably harm others.

I see no difference between their situation and that of hoteliers who provide services to the public but select their customers in line with their prejudices against the broad spirit and letter of trade descriptions laws. It is illegal and they get sanctioned when it comes to the notice of the authorities.

As I have written before, if you want to limit the scope of your services or influence to a particular cohort, you have to be in a confined ghettoised community of that homogenous cohort, the moment your doorway is in the public space, your prejudices would have to be lost to a liberal clientele.

Find a Christian bank

Whilst I do sympathise with the loss of banking services to the Core Issues Trust, it is a matter of reputational consideration that they have also lost the services of PayPal and MailChimp, they have courted controversy for a while that it probably does not need much activism to render them a negative customer to consider a business relationship with. [BBC News: High Court hears 'ex-gay' ad ban 'a political issue']

On the point that Barclays Bank unilaterally without notice or consideration withdrew their banking services, I would quite reticent to think a global organisation like Barclays Bank did not have extensive and involved processes that put this matter before panels of intensive debate and analysis before reaching that conclusion.

It made amusing reading when in their petition they attempted to join issues with Barclays – Qatari deal of 2008 when the Qataris came to the aid of the bank during the financial crisis. It was neither germane nor necessary, yet, interesting.

My advice to the Core Issues Trust who have such high Christian principles is to find a bank that supports their value system, maybe a Christian bank. Barclays Bank is not the only bank in the world, and it is not that Barclays Bank has seized their funds if they do find another bank to provide those services. Petition all you want, the decision has been made, contest it in court, if you’re so aggrieved.

Thought Picnic: Returnee Woes

This is pain

There is an interesting aspect of being a returnee that is quite uncomfortable and disconcerting. When you return home from another country after so many years away, the only thing you probably have is your identity and not much else.

The process of reintegration is being fraught by rules that do not seem to have exceptions. Resettlement is not easy and planning it depends on how you are able to leave where you were to where you want to be and the attendant responsibilities that come with it.

Soul destroyers

In my case, I am caught in a Catch-22 situation that is growing ridiculous by the day. Normally, on arrival in the UK one is to register as looking for work. My experience of the literally soul-destroying concept of being told you are not doing enough to find work that you are matched to jobs that demand nothing of you than to demean and depress you from over 20 years ago was job not what I needed at this time.

Recently, I read of the experience of a PhD holder expected to do menial jobs and not considered to be utilising his job-searching time productively if he was researching and preparing for interviews belying an inferior and pedestrian system in the UK whereas in the Netherlands they fully appreciated your skills and offered help and advice to job-seekers to help them flourish in what they really do know how to do.

Hitting the ground running

I arrived on a Friday and took temporary accommodation with a relation, by Sunday, I had obtained a mobile phone SIM and a new phone number that allowed me to update my CV with an address and number – enough to give it some freshness.

On Monday, I was getting calls and by Tuesday the inquiries were gaining traction that I landed an interview on Thursday after which I was offered a job, what had to follow were mere formalities – terms, contract and other essential personal details.

Proving an improbable

No one on entering a country within days is able to provide a proof of address in that country without exceptional circumstances to that effect. The social services will only consider a returnee habitually resident in the UK only after 3 months of arrival, before which that have no obligations though asylum seekers in dire need seem to get prompt attention.

I could not open a bank account without a proof of address and the company that was supposed to handle my payroll then said they will not release payments for my work until I could prove where I lived, however, I cannot claim many of the official documents like utility bills, job centre correspondence or government agency letters when I am in temporary residence still trying to find my feet.

Exceptionally unique circumstances

In essence, even though I am ready, able and engaged to contribute my bit to society, I am being treated like a homeless man, my independent streak to just get up and do not appreciated and there does not seem to be some exception to cater for people with my kind of unique circumstances.

The unintended consequence of anti-money laundering laws are hitting on honest and innocent persons ready to earn a living but frustrated by the system. Meanwhile, we read of looters of African treasuries washing their ill-gotten wealth through British banks with amazingly breath-taking ease.

Do something

I have put the onus back on my employer and Payroll Company, having offered my identification and met with their personnel, they know what I will be earning and it is unlikely that with the contracts I have signed with both, I can at the same time be an agent of money laundering at their behest.

What is required is a bit of common sense and intuitiveness on their part to validate my existence and facilitate my reintegration.

When I moved to the Netherlands over a decade ago, my employer stood as surety guaranteeing the necessity I had for opening a bank account and consequently securing rental property – that is what I am asking of them – the emails will go back and forth until I have gotten them to stand and stand tall on my behalf. I should not be agonising about these things, I want to concentrate on my new job and perform excellently in what I know to do.

Editorial: Religion and custom that savages humanity

The Customs of the Dark Ages

This just tore at my heart, the unconscionable evil that society allows in the name of religion, custom and tradition where men in their seemingly patriarchal superiority have the ability and sometimes that amazingly absurd but inalienable right to batter their spouses and project a sense of honour at their deeds.

Certain societies are so ensconced in the Dark Ages they almost have no prospect of arriving in the age of enlightenment, knowledge or development, they are so wedded to their customs for the purpose of serving selfish virtues in the name of misplaced honour.

The concept of shame is so warped and it never emanates from actions of the males and it is always considered the burden of the females who are then punished severely from actual bodily harm to heinous homicide by male relations who in their communities are automatically exculpated from guilt having restored honour to their clan through unspeakable violence.

Speaking up for against the unacceptable

As long as these communities generously called conservative but in reality are more savage than the wild uncivilised jungle of cannibal and fetish conclaves remain silent, women will continually be abused, forced to live inappropriately with domestic violence and made to take unreasonable rage from their spouses and male relations because that has always been acceptable, accepted and condoned with justice never intervening for the rights of the victims.

Rumana Monzur [1] of Bangladesh and her family have been convinced to go public and tell her story of the way a jealous husband with uncorroborated evidence attacked his professor wife, gouged out her eyes, bit off her nosed and launched into a character assassination of her trying to play victim.

These acts committed in the name of whatever belief system these nasty people adhere to must stop with the full force of criminal law visited on the perpetrators of this kind of violence – no human being’s existence is worthless enough to be sacrificed on the altar of this barbarity for the purpose of redeeming some virtue – my thoughts are with Rumana Monzur and my hope and wish is that she will find encouragement and all the support to pursue full happiness despite her tragedy.

Address men and dressing women

Which brings me to another matter of the Nigerian Minister of Aviation, Princess Stella Adaeze Ogiemwinyi who appears to have adopted a no-nonsense hands-on approach to her portfolio talking tough, eschewing unnecessary ceremony and getting down to the brass tacks.

As so she arrived in Kano, in the north of Nigeria and a one of those apparently conservative societies where her albeit practical and functional apparel [2] acceptable in so many places seems to have caught the displeasure of the keepers of community mores who have termed it “offensive to their cultural values.”

She was in a “smart dark long sleeve shirt and dark jeans trousers”, a picture would have spoken louder than words but I have none to display but if as the news story indicates, the governor of the state is a moderate Muslim, one would expect he would attend to the minister’s courtesy call without much fuss, as for the Emir of Kano, you have to wonder if the mountain would come to the 21^st Century or we all have to time travel to the origins of the world where cavemen modelled exotic underwear and well, the womenfolk probably never needed what we modern folk call a brassiere.

Men should take responsibility

There are people who might be concerned about conforming to certain customs and deigning to integrate to be tolerated but the real issue is the refusal of men to take responsibility for self-control in the presence of ladies who refuse to don dowdy apparel no matter how decent, cultured, fashionable and respectable they appear.

The extrapolation of this irresponsible adherence to so-called customs is exemplified in the unfortunate castigation of victims of rape where they are get blamed for the offenses committed against their person because of their appearance and rarely because of the uncontrolled and rampaging conduct of the perpetrator.

Set alight the embers of Islamic Banking

Then the Islamic Banking debate in Nigeria has escalated beyond the angst-ridden concerns of those who were opposed to it.

Now, Nigeria has always been a combustible cauldron of anxious religious uneasiness that does not need the introduction of even a pinch of peppery religious policy of any kind before the battlements are set up and the war of words accentuate the wedges of discord within that nation.

Islamic Banking thrives in many countries, however in Nigeria, the idea has failed to appreciate its community; my advocacy has always been that Nigeria is such a country that requires probably the strictest separation of religion and state just because of the way religion excites uncontrolled passions, intemperate utterances and unreasonable conflict leading to destruction of life of property – Nigeria is just a very volatile country when it comes to religion.

Nigeria’s Pandora’s Box

The smarter idea should have been to secularise the concept of Islamic Banking, define it as Participant Banking, lay out the rules of engagement in the most expansive terms and then offered that this banking concept was compatible, similar and analogous to Islamic Banking – it would be been a master-stroke of the genius of semantics – sometimes words use matter more than their deeper meanings.

However, as usual, Nigeria’s Pandora’s Box of various items of religious import has not been completely emptied and every time we find ways to slam it shut with objective discourse and reason someone kicks it open spilling it contents with some religiously-biased initiative that just heats up the polity.

The Supreme Council for Sharia in Nigeria (SCSN) is probably a matured, reasonable and objective organisation that has decided to abort the consideration of conciliation by allaying fears or educating the ignorant whilst dealing with sometimes unwarranted suspicion and suggested that Muslims are ready to go to war if Islamic Banking does not materialise as promoted by the Central Bank of Nigeria.

Jihad lines drawn

This Jihadist tone is at best unfortunate and bordering on incitement as they declare that they are ready to “defend the implementation of the Islamic banking system (also known as non-interest banking), with the last drop of their blood.”

Sadly, this would have certain Nigerians pushed forward to be sacrificed for this cause as the instigators stand back washing their hands in the blood of fellow countrymen in the name of religion the government now doubly blackmailed caught between the fears of non-Muslims and threat of war by the Muslims.

The core lesson that remains unlearnt after all these years is that Nigeria is in no way ripe for the easy accommodation of religiously-based systems be they legal, financial, economic, social or commercial as other less volatile nations may be where Islamic Banking thrives like the United Kingdom for instance apart from purely Islamic countries.

And …

Jaiz International Bank PLC with its website having exceeded its bandwidth which was incorporated in 2003 as the vehicle for Islamic Banking once had as its chairman and one cannot say if he remains so the father of the Christmas Day pants bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, not that anything should be read into that connection at all.

This is going to be a problem that extends beyond the ructions that the introduction of Sharia Law in the North of Nigeria caused, it was avoidable and manageable, if the initiators were conscious and committed to peace and unity within Nigeria – one wonders if some are ready to break the back of Nigeria on the altar of religion with the SCSN already signifying the tyranny of the majority is ready to make insignificant the concerns of the minority.

Sources

[1] Muslim ‘Honor’ Crimes: Rumana Monzur Allegedly Mauled by Her Husband - The Daily Beast

[2] allAfrica.com: Nigeria: Minister's Dress Sets Tongues Wagging in Kano

[3] The Punch: Islamic banking: Muslims ready to go to war – Sharia Council

Nigeria: Banking on some assurances

Some progress

I can report that following the unfortunate episode of scamming that my mother suffered yesterday and my communication with Stanbic IBTC Bank some progress has been made.

The first response I got from them did not appear to satisfy my need to be convinced that the bank was taking the issue seriously that I both responded and blogged about the situation expressing my dissatisfaction with their actions.

This morning, I received a more proactive email that suggested I rest assured that the matter was receiving the diligence it deserves – it was as assuring as it was obscure in meaning but I decided to give it time just in case subsequent readings of the email would persuade me of their growing commitment to tackle this matter with resource and enthusiasm unprompted but for the sake of integrity and reputation.

Contact

Just over 20 minutes ago, I received a call from an official of Stanbic IBTC Bank who was on this case and I was given more convincing assurances that they intend to see this matter to a resolution, even a more satisfactory resolution, if I dared dream it would happen.

I can understand that the bank would prefer I instituted legal or criminal proceedings to apprehend the criminal but that would be costly and stressful enough for my mother to handle in Nigeria and quite an extension of my ambit to manage from abroad.

Rather, the ideal would be for the bank to recognise that unlike other scams that use the less secure and less trust-reposed services of Western Union or MoneyGram; the criminal latched onto the reputational capital of Stanbic IBTC Bank to perpetrate a criminal enterprise that victims on realising they were dealing through a bank would have thought the whole scheme was above board.

Where the onus should lie

Obviously, the criminal might not have realised that there were ways to glean together all the bits of information to create a formidable investigation file and case for apprehension and arraignment.

Though, I believe that it should be the onus, initiative, duty, obligation and in the exclusive interest of the bank to pursue relentlessly those who tap on their reputational capital as a channel for their criminal enterprise; we as victims cannot in and of ourselves fight for maintaining the integrity of the Nigerian banking system; there is much more at risk and at stake for the banks than whatever individuals have lost through unfortunate and vulnerable circumstances.

Meanwhile, I have been promised useful and effective communication in the investigation of this issue.

A good resolution would be to apprehend this man and his network of accomplices, the better resolution would be to regain all the funds that melted away into the hands of the criminal and the best resolution would be a banking system in Nigeria that would brook none of this criminality, the ability to write glowingly about this and whatever else can put a smile on people’s faces – at home and abroad.

Related blogs

Johnson Ademola Babatunde - I'm on your case

Nigeria: Banks in Fraudulent Enterprise

Nigeria: Banks in Fraudulent Enterprise

Taking on reputation inertia

Nothing annoys me more than when I get fobbed off with some legal refuge of unconcerned apathy but institutions that would rather I disappeared than engage and rise up to their responsibilities.

On a personal note, I am devastated by the fact that some confidence trickster was able to use a mother’s anxiety to con the lady out of a large sum of money by playing out a story about her son being in some serious trouble.

Now, nothing will please me more than to have that cretin hunted down and brought to book but that requires the proactive and ready cooperation of certain trust-dependent institutions to happen.

Happy to bank on fraud

One would think in the case of a bank when criminal activity is reported as the case of the use of a bank’s reputational facilities like a bank account for the promotion of criminal enterprise the bank would move mountains to retain its integrity and hard earned reputation by pulling all stops to avoid being labelled an organisation that aids, abets, supports and fosters the means for fraudulent and nefarious activities.

Rather, I was offered the platitudes contained in the following sentences, with my comments in parenthesis.

Saying nothing with much

Please do be assured that we have handled this suspicious transaction alert within the confines of our internal policy as well as the regulatory and legal framework of our business operations.

[Having read this statement a good few times, I really cannot make any sense of it or what it means. Whilst it appears to suggest they have done something about it, it really reads like they cannot be bothered and all the fuss I am kicking up can buried within the highfalutin “regulatory and legal framework of our business operations.”]

Kindly be informed that our fiduciary obligation prevents us from disclosing information pertaining to any of our customers to third parties.

[I did not ask that any information be revealed; I simply informed them of the reputational risk they are open to by the use of their accounts for criminal activities.]

They just don’t get it

However, should you employ legal means to resolve this matter and we are expressly requested to provide information relevant to an ensuing investigation we would be obliged to do so.

[This seems to prove that they are doing nothing about it because they are waiting for me to institute legal proceedings on a matter they for them should have been of the greatest concern if word begins to get out that this bank probably should begin to rank as one of the easy targets and conduits for 419 businesses.

There are enough fraud watching sites out there to raise this bank’s profile to and at some time it would come to the notice of rating agencies, potential business client and financial auditors that the management of the bank does not project a healthy atmosphere for transparent and honest business engagement in Nigeria.

They simply do not get it, they will eventually.]

We believe this clarifies your concerns.

[No, it does not; it obfuscates the matter and shows your apparent lack of concern.]

They really don’t

Thank you for choosing Stanbic IBTC Bank Plc.

[One would think they are writing this to the criminal that used their banking services. I chose to inform the bank that their reputation is at stake, the criminal chose to use Stanbic IBTC Bank Plc. to funnel criminal proceeds and somehow it has not occurred to them that a great cost might well hit the bank if they do not proactively work to protect their reputational asset, if they ever had any at all.]

A profile to chase

I have gone further to provide the bank with more detail about the criminal, Johnson Ademola Babatunde who seems to have a number of bank accounts littered around the Nigerian banking space to funnel the profits of criminal enterprise.

At Stanbic IBTC Bank Plc with the Savings Account no. 9304743966

At UBA it is 03170520116389

He also has a FinBank account but he has not yet divulged the number of that account.

Obviously, there is need to escalate this matter if the banks are that unconcerned, but I hope that this albeit minor episode would begin the reputational clean-up of Nigerian banking through proactive monitoring and tracking down of criminals rather than wait to be compelled to fight for their business integrity.

Related blog: Johnson Ademola Babatunde - I'm on your case

Editorial: Thirteenth of May 2011

The guilty roam free

The credit crisis which has been felt globally for the past few years still has the architects of this catastrophe rolling in the quids without a care in the world.

Many have wondered how this happened and why it was pre-empted as the professionals have continually feigned that it caught them unawares.

The investigations of a US Senate committee have yielded grounds for indictments to be brought against first Goldman Sachs for basically playing both the market and their clients in fanciful financial products whilst divest themselves of their liabilities and cajoling other institutions to buying up what they knew for sure was worthless.

Untying the Gordian knot

The Rolling Stones article lays out the case of The People versus Goldman Sachs in such fine detail with the use of useful vivid analogies that the layman would catch on to what an almighty confidence trick this was.

This was work that the regulators and the Department of Justice should have done but were both derelict in their duties and suborned into a dastardly evil capitalist enterprise that has robbed everyone blind and made the gangsters of banking otherwise known as “Banksters” the masters of the world.

Now that the case has been made and all the footwork done, one would hope the cajones exist in the boxers, briefs, jocks or I dare say panties of those who matter to visit the full force of the law on these people and they should not relent until every dime as been paid including interest.

The world would never forgive us if these banksters get away with the biggest highwayman’s looting of the bullion ever.

Roam to Rome

Schengen, a town in Luxembourg where in 1985 European countries agreed to relax border controls allowing free movement within European borders, it represented a kind of unity amongst Europeans between 22 states.

It has worked a treat for Europeans as a sign of integration and unity without the encumbrance of passport checks, inane questions at customs and every other inconvenience that pertains to traversing borders.

The Arab uprising on the Southern coast of the Mediterranean Sea has been a matter of concern already but the unrest in Libya has brought it to a head.

Apparently, Colonel Gaddafi, the besieged and buffeted leader of Libya is allowing the untrammelled flow of sub-Saharan Africans and others across the sea to Malta and Lampedusa in Italy creating panic on those islands along with the administrative and logistic nightmares of processing these asylum seekers.

Visas made wiser

With no one responding to Italy’s concerns about this influx, the Italians granted temporary visas to these aliens who under the Schengen agreement could cross borders to countries where they might feel more comfortable by reason of joining relations, being able to speak the language or recognising a country as a soft target.

That got France to sit up since a good deal of these aliens speak French and by the time you knew it, Gaddafi’s deftness had sown division amongst NATO allies on the immigration front as they try to enforce the no-fly zone in Libya.

Fresh blood for right-wing vampires

Then every little-minded country with their right-wing populist fear-mongering personality with their villager-visits-city mind-set stepped into the fray stoking angst and horror at the hordes invading their sacred lands of purity and superiority – time to race to the lowest common denominator.

Shut the gates, batten down the hatches, pull up the draw bridges, barricade the doors and let the rabid dogs roam to bite any that dare walk the streets.

Globalisation is going into decline and the nation state rises again just because the Arabs have awoken to the possibility of self-determination. What a strange world we live in.

Acknowledgements

The fantastic report about the Senate committee’s unravelling of Goldman Sachs’ con-job was published online by the Rolling Stones Magazine. Wikipedia has a webpage that explains the Schengen Area and the Schengen Agreement.

The Guardian announces the news of the furore that has erupted about the influx of aliens and the possible radical revision of Schengen.

Banking on new local realities

The difficult rebirth

Getting my mail out of the post box the other day there was a letter from a once familiar organisation with I had not communicated for about 4 years, because then they sent me a letter that they were being absorbed by another bank.

This one had a new logo but more or less the same name it had from when it was an autonomous entity – the credit crunch is doing things radical to the banking sector, in this case Fortis Bank which is now essentially a public utility rather than a bank since it needs government support has had to regurgitate the ingestions it took in over the last few years.

All these onetime seemingly well run banks that were acquisitive with reckless abandon using management models that made the acquired banks look like they were being run by charlatans now all seem to be run by charlatans – it is appalling to say the least.

Show me the building

So, my mortgage bank that was once in the belly of Fortis is now back as an autonomous entity alas I do not get a bailout that closes my mortgage book and lets me consider other things to do with my money.

Though we are all keen on the flexibility and convenience of online banking, I like to know that my money can still be found in some building built of bricks and mortar able to weather storms and having some human being with whom I can converse if I have issues.

I do however commiserate with those who had to queue up for miles round the streets for hours to get into their bricks-and-mortar bank when things seemed to be going belly up – a man cannot be persuaded of a greater cause to run to than to know that there is a run on the bank that he banks in.

Fought for by four

Walking down through the local shopping centre where I live we have 4 automated cash machines representing four banks, one of those banks – PostBank – has now formally absorbed in the bigger ING Group conglomerate but the cash tills have been retained – letters declared that too, sometime ago.

So we have PostBank, ABN Amro, ING Bank and at the far end of the shopping centre, RaboBank, all with walk-in offices apart from PostBank which is now part of the ING Group.

ABN Amro, the subject of the worst banking constipation and expectoration including the discomfort of food poisoning that could hit any bank, the nemesis of the Royal Bank of Scotland in the United Kingdom and Fortis in the BeNeLux had always had the longest opening hours including Saturdays.

Imagine my surprise when I found that my local ING Bank had refurbished its offices, extended its opening hours for the shopping evenings and also will open on a Saturday.

Crunch is global, service is local

Amidst the global consequences of bad banking decisions made by professionals who had forgotten the fundamentals of client service and risk, I would presume the seedlings of competition on the high street have been sown once again between banks.

Less of the adventurism that left many shipwrecked in waters far from home and back to the trusty, thrifty, parsimonious simple local customer who needs basic services, wants easy answers to nagging questions and likes to see the manager rather than being fobbed off by some personal assistant that has created the mystique of financial deity around the boss that their hubris resulted the chaos we now grapple with.

Methinks one should call in on Saturday for a hair cut even though I have none to lose – there should not be much between banks and the barbers, we have all been given severe hair cuts already – now, if I decided to move my account from some far-flung place to my local bank, there might just be a beer mat and pen in the bargain – such extravagance for pennies with the potential of pounds.

On reflection, I think Not!

Paulson Bailout: Don't buy that rope

Ropes and cows

Note: Some sources of the ideas and opinions in this blog appear below the text, there are no links in the general opinion piece itself.

One must not be the one to gloat over serious issues but it does remind me of a story that I sometimes tell to illustrate a point we fail to see when we are to make big decisions.

A young man went to confession having battled with his conscience for longer than he could bear.

Supplicant: Father, dear Father, bless me, I have sinned

Confessor: Be at peace, my son, what have you done?

Supplicant: I stole a rope.

Confessor: Hmmm!! [He pauses in meditation then asks] Was anything attached to that rope?

Supplicant: A cow

The facts beyond the talk

It may be a cow, a bull or something completely unexpected; the fact is the confessor could have absolved the supplicant of the offence of stealing a length of rope not knowing that a good tug on the rope would bring a resounding Moo! From the other end.

How many times have we been sold rope believing that was all there was to it, till the cow stirred and dragged us across the field, we having played mock prisoner binding our hands in masochistic revelry?

But there is too much evidence before us of ropes attached to cows, Iraq being a case in point.

The rope about Iraq

The Americans were sold the idea that Saddam Hussein was in cahoots with Al Qaeda, he was culpable in the 9/11 attacks and constituted a great threat to American national security and interests.

They were going in with overwhelming force to liberate the Iraqis who were going to come out onto the streets singing Hosanna! – Bull!

After 5 years, America has lost more men in Iraq than they lost in the 9/11 disaster and people still seem to be cajoled with the idea that President Bush has prevented another attack on American soil – well, give me a break, the terrorists do not need to create some great logistical spectacle in America, they have a ready supply in Iraq and Afghanistan for a lot less planning and expense.

However, the issue here is, of all the money that has been expended on the Iraqi war a good deal of it has gone into American contract firms who are minting money like it is going out of fashion.

The war has been shamelessly privatised whilst American families back at home blinded by the rope story receive the sadness of their dead sons and daughters, the wounded in spirit, soul and body, meanwhile on a staple diet of rope someone else is running away with the cows.

The parallel between Iraq and the suggested financial bailout of banks should not be lost on anyone.

Running off with the cows

We have a great financial disaster brought on by the greed and sleight of the private sector that jettisoned the basic tenets of trust, integrity, truth and verification for the quick wins of bonuses, profits and an unending supply of gullible customers persuaded of their false wealth.

The customers were being fed rope whilst the bankers ran off with the cows, now the people have tugged on the rope and found that they are being dragged bound and gagged into the abyss – no respite in sight.

Meanwhile, the bankers having found that they have no more cows to fool others with rope have suddenly run out of business and all their models are collapsing around them – only today, the whole concept of an investment bank was completely obliterated from the financial landscape of the United States as Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley changed status to holding banks.

This is bad rope, seriously bad rope

But the worst case of rope is happening before our eyes, the Treasury Secretary who at one time lead Goldman Sachs now wants all the dead and rotten cows that the banks once touted as prime stock put in a pit somewhere to create some sort of fertiliser in the future – wishful thinking.

These dead cows are liabilities that have a conservative estimate of $700 billion and really no one knows how long the rope would be, but anyone who has a head had better pause for deep long thought like the confessor and find out what is at the end of the rope.

Cows, you can almost tame, however, methinks the rope has been surreptitiously place round the neck of a sleeping leviathan – the markets that were fed rope at the end of last week creating a rally of the markets have suddenly started tugging on that rope and I think some of them have cottoned onto something.

He meant quick and dirty

Mr. Hank Paulson must be playing with words here; we all know that nothing that is quick can really be clean – he has offered a quick and dirty solution and wants the Congress to sign off the rope without tugging at the rope to find out that it is attached to a beast in slumber.

Besides it is completely disingenuous to engineer an outrageous confidence trick then try to persuade everyone of its legitimacy by encouraging others to play the same tricks, it is brazen in its execution as it deigns to cajole with a face of respectability.

I am not buying that rope and I hope anyone else being offered that rope gives it a right old tug prepped with running shoes and a good gun because you might be familiar with the sounds of a mooing cow, I doubt if you have ever heard the sound of a leviathan.

Sources

USATODAY.com - Poll: 70% believe Saddam, 9-11 link

iCasualties: Iraq Coalition Casualty Count

Iraqi Body Count

What Does Iraq Cost? Even More Than You Think. - washingtonpost.com

The $1 trillion question: Will this gigantic bailout work? - Business Analysis & Features, Business - The Independent

US bail-out plan provokes doubts

Paulson: Plan Needs To Be "quick" And "clean", By Patrick O'Connor - CBS News

Credit Crunch Blogs - akin.blog-city.com