Thought Picnic: The result of excusing bad behaviour

When we excuse the inexcusable

I have sometimes been concerned if not worried about the way we reward bad behaviour by excusing things because of our better nature, accepting things because they are out our control, commending things because another characteristic of the person appeals to us, or through some lack of moral fibre in us, we allow such until that behaviour becomes commonplace.

From the observation of many things as close as within my family or further afield in political leadership in places that would have been bastions of good manners, the vilest of characterisation has emerged that one is both filled with revulsion and disgust as one recoils into some sort of recluse unable to comment about each particular issue.

How broken fences cannot be fixed

That I deployed myself to specifically address one such instance, which was the culmination of a series of mistakes and mishaps we had allowed to fester and had been fostered more by filial relationship than anything else had drawn the most out of our better nature, we had to draw the line somewhere.

It is too easy to be taken advantage of because of the familiarity and the reading that we cannot follow through with the inconceivable. It only takes a little more disrespect and discourtesy to breach that thin curtain that veils what we conceal of the worst of what we can be.

For safety and self-preservation, which might be selfish and sinful, we find that essential resolve against emotional blackmail.

Witchcraft cannot be understood

Rebellion, the good book says, is as wicked as witchcraft, and in witchcraft is an unmistakable recognition of the inexplicable, because nothing reasonable or logical is understood from what you find yourself perceiving.

The thought that people might recognise and seek a space for self-reflection on their own flaws rather than regard themselves under siege is one we rarely find as the appropriate resort.

In certain relationships with friends and even leaders, elements of affection and regard will wane, in family, it creates drift and exacerbates rift. Does one have the energy for making peace?

This only depends on whether things are redeemable from an initial point of people willing to engage and listen. You cannot get far if the default at the mountain is obstinacy, and some mountains are better not climbed or scaled, there are other meadows for appreciation.

Facing down the schoolyard bully

On the leadership front, on which I would rarely want to comment because too many are entrenched or enthralled, my heart goes out to Volodymyr Zelenskyy. He has come from a comedy to exemplify Ukraine's fighting spirit.

To stand up to bullies who have become so powerful because we have always excused bad behaviour and accepted an inexcusable narrative masquerading as truth is the greatest danger we now face, but only a few can face down.

There comes a time when bad behaviour should never be excused again, I know where my red lines are and where they have been crossed, I have done the selfish and sinful, yet within the human sphere of things, it is a needful and rightful thing.

Facing down the schoolyard bully just takes one person, courageous enough to challenge the seeming potentate and call out the abuse of power, to the wherewithal to stand their ground. Of such men, few remain.

Dispute Resolution 101: Make it a reasonable and respectful appeal to their good nature

The sweet fragrance of language

Just a few hours after someone suggested that the way I write is ornate, I had to dig into the reserves of that sometimes flowery and elegant use of the English language to dispute a penalty fine and write an appeal.

As I was about to pay for a service yesterday, I found that my bank card had been blocked, a penalty fine had been applied to my account that my bank in their probably aggressive fraud checks decided was questionable, so they held up the transaction and blocked my card.

Looking up what had happened, our local transport service provider had applied a penalty charge on my card for my journey back home from the hospital, I got a bit emotional.

Banking on prudent checks

My bank sent a text message early in the morning to ask if I recognised the transaction, I knew the vendor, but I did not recognise the one-handed cash grab, something inadvertent had happened, and this was grounds for appeal.

I disputed the charge, called the bank and at the third time of asking the obsequious and unintelligent bot, it handed me over to a human being. It eventually realised, “Can I speak to a human being?” meant just that.

The bank with their layers of security and protocols lifted the pending charge but said I must contact the vendor and be ready to prove that I had done that as part of the dispute resolution process. My card was unblocked, and then I logged on to the vendor site to address the matter of penalty fares.

Circumstances are part of the story

My visit to the hospital left me a bit troubled but I also wanted to stop along the way back home to do some shopping. Using my phone, I tapped the contactless reader at the beginning of my journey and disembarked at the next stop. 

That was where I had forgotten to tap out for that journey. 30 minutes later, after doing my shopping, I was back at the same stop where I tapped in again and remembering my earlier mistake, I tried to tap again, but the system indicated I was tapping in twice.

I boarded the tram and at the following stop ticket inspectors got on and checked passengers for evidence of valid travel tickets for their journeys, my phone bleeped their device and I thought that was the situation resolved. I then tapped out at my destination and walked home. The penalty charge of £60 came 2 days later.

The scaffolding of an appeal

Thankfully, my phone records the exact times of tapping the contactless reader, with all the series of taps documented. After filling in the mandatory fields on the vendor website, these were the characteristics of my appeal and dispute.

• I shared the circumstances and my state of mind after my hospital visit.
• I logged every instance of using the contactless reader and agreed that I might have forgotten to tap out at the first stop out of the distraction indicative of my hospital visit.
• I then detailed all the other encounters before appealing that these were extenuating circumstances to rescind both the penalty fine and any further proceedings related to the journeys of the said day.
• I closed my appeal by thanking them for their understanding.

Appeal by appealing to their good nature

Now, I have seen appeals and disputes written by some rather more erudite and learned people than me, everything suggested their appeal would not be successful for many reasons. They were angry, ranting and raving about the system, projecting their superiority and emotions into their arguments, and making demands and threats.

The whole reason for an appeal is to appeal to the good nature of whoever might read your disputation. You do this respectfully knowing they have a job to do, you invite them to walk in your shoes, so they are persuaded to see things from your perspective and engage others if there is an escalation, to agree with your viewpoint.

You appreciate what they do and ask for their consideration of what you desire, a refund without dragging out the dispute, then close the appeal with thanks.

Do what works not what rankles

The art of effective communication is in the use of language and the appreciation and respect of the reader. It has worked for me in many places, at work, in business, and in my general writing, especially for formal communication. Deploy the skill deftly.

When I need to be fierce, ranting, debunking, condemning, and excoriating, that only applies to other issues where I am not seeking a dispute resolution in an appeal process.

Yes, my appeal was successful, I will be refunded the penalty charge, that is what I wanted to achieve and nothing more. The lesson is that the tap-in tap-out system works best when there are barrier gates at the entry and exit points, else, if you forget, the system is not as forgiving as you might expect.

The person who reviewed my appeal did say, “As it appears you intended to touch in for this journey, we have upheld your appeal on this occasion. We will shortly be refunding £60 to your account and recalculate your charges for the day to what you would have paid had the correct touches been made.” They came onside and were amenable to my wishes. That is what matters.

Dear Sergeant Adebisi of Ajiwe Ajah Police Station, please do your job

Dear Sergeant Adebisi,

I am writing to you to appeal to your good nature, your sense of duty, and your commitment as a police officer to public service to rise to the challenge of doing your job.

On the night of the 23^rd of May 2017, my sister and brother-in-law were burgled, or to use an Americanism, they were burglarized by armed robbers. My brother-in-law in the encounter received head wounds that needed immediate hospital treatment and amongst the things stolen were electronic goods, phones and wallets containing bank cards. I reference the crime in the link below:

Appeal: My sister and her husband are being terrorised by an armed robber gang

This would have been the standard-issue armed robbery in Nigeria that rarely takes up police resources, but we have something to work on here. In the morning of the 24^th of May 2017, between 5:57 AM and 7:47 AM, 5 money transactions were made from my brother-in-law’s account with the Guaranty Trust Bank (GT Bank) to a recipient account with the Fidelity Bank; that recipient account belonged to Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema.

This is where your duty as a policeman begins to matter to matter to Nigerians along with the training you received and the experience that has elevated you to the rank of sergeant with the opportunity for more laurels.

• Who is Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema?
• How did Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema’s account come to be the recipient of unauthorised fund transfers a few hours after an armed robbery?
• Could Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema be in cahoots with the armed robbers or is he under duress to have his account used for laundering proceeds of crime?
• Why is Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema not being apprehended for questioning, maybe interrogation and possibly held for conspiracy in committing an armed robbery?
• Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema is the only link to the armed robbers and at the very least should be made to return the sums of money transferred to his account back to my brother-in-law’s account.
• Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema should be eliminated from being a person of interest with regards to the armed robbery, but that requires he be questioned and the stolen money returned at the very least.

As you can see, this is all police work, not what you or anyone would expect civilians to do. This matter is complicated by the fact that my sister after much agitation was able to get GT Bank to correspond with Fidelity Bank, the result being Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema’s account was restricted, but the funds have not yet been transferred back to my brother-in-law’s account.

When Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema’s account was restricted, the armed robbers returned to terrorise my sister, my brother-in-law and their neighbours. We were lucky no one came to any harm because as the armed robbers were trying to gain access to their building, everyone was alerted and so my people escaped harm.

Not only have my people (my sister and brother-in-law) lost things, he was wounded and had to be operated on twice, they have their money stolen and locked away in an account owing to inertia on your part and that of the banks and they have been so terrified of reprisal attacks from the armed robbers that they have been rendered homeless, just 8 months into their marriage.

I have it on good authority that you had to be persuaded by more senior officers to be interested in investigating this crime, yet for one reason or another 5 weeks after the armed robbery, we are nowhere near any resolution, in apprehending the link person Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema, in returning the stolen money or even retrieving the stolen goods.

The devastating impact on the lives of my sister, my brother-in-law and their neighbours is one that every reasonable person would expect that you are the senior police officer in their locality to be concerned about, but you have been scolding them for seeking justice and going above your head to encourage you to do your job. It is an unfortunate reading of events that are within your power to remediate.

I would think you want an easy life and this looks like an easy crime to resolve if you can rise to that challenge.

So, Sergeant Adebisi of Nigeria Police Force Office in Area A, Ajiwe Ajah Road, Lekki Expressway, I appeal to you once again, please for the sake of your reputation and the reputation of the Nigeria Police Force, get engaged, get involved and help resolve this matter. You have the details, you have the evidence of a crime having been committed, perish the thought that an inducement is required to do your job from the victims of crimes or worse still that anyone in your office is in cahoots with Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema or the armed robbers.

Obviously, there is an alternative, if you are not interested in being a policeman, you can offer your resignation and allow others with a bit more enthusiasm in police work and bringing a sense of professionalism to the police force to take your place. Any well-meaning Nigerian would applaud the solving of crimes, most especially ones where the evidence is handed to the police on a plate.

Sergeant Adebisi, the ball is in your court.

Thank you for your kind consideration of my appeal and I look forward to the opportunity to celebrate your work as a policeman.

Yours sincerely,

Akin Akintayo (Brother and brother-in-law of the victims of crime in your area of influence.)

Appeal: My sister and her husband are being terrorised by an armed robber gang

My people robbed

On the night of the 23^rd of May 2017, my sister and brother-in-law were brutally attacked at home by armed robbers, he was inflicted with head injuries and the bandits made away with their mobile phones, her laptop which contained her PhD programme activities, her glasses, their bank cards and identity cards.

The thieves or an accomplice of theirs then raided my brother-in-law’s bank account and the money was transferred to a beneficiary account number (6018594851) with Fidelity Bank belonging to a Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema, this apparently happened between 5:57 AM and 7:47 AM on the 24^th of May 2017.

They are terrorising them

My sister and brother-in-law on finding that moneys had been transferred out the account, informed their bank and a block was placed on the account of the beneficiary. Since then, the robbers returned and my family was saved because they were sighted at the point of breaking in again, but they are terrorising my family and that is just unacceptable.

Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema needs to be picked up and interrogated to reveal who his actors and accomplices are to stop terrorising my sister and my brother-in-law. They are living in constant fear away from home and other places where their identities might compromise them, terrorised by criminals who have been thwarted in their atrocious enterprise.

Stop this lawlessness

This is lawlessness that cannot be allowed to continue any longer and I appeal to anyone who can initiate, expedite and help apprehend these people to save not just my sister and brother-in-law, but anyone else from being terrorised by this brigandage of menace.

The key person is Izuka Chukwuemeka Onyema, his account number 6018594851 with Fidelity Bank should have other pertinent details as his photograph and address where he can either be picked up or the investigation that start to build a picture of his contacts towards stopping this criminality once and for all.

Obviously, in nabbing this man, it is also possible that lots of stolen property can be retrieved and hopefully returned to their rightful owners.

Help me nab them

Now, this touches me more because, my sister and brother-in-law are newlyweds, who just started a new home, it is only over 7 months ago that we lost our baby sister. My brother-in-law is recovering, but they both need to be back safe in their home without being fearful of armed robbery reprisals.

My appeal is to the good offices of the law and process to get these criminals off the streets and allow the citizenry live their lives in peace and happiness.

As with most things Nigerian, we are left to do our own do-it-yourself detective footwork and investigations, the police have been redolent and nonchalant even with the evidence we already have to hand. The only alternative left is to drive a social media campaign in the hope that a resolution is possible. It is my hope that you will be engaged, interested and help bring these criminals to justice. Thank you.

Reeva Steenkamp: Sorry, still no justice for your murder

The rebuke and the circus

The greatest rebuke one can ever receive is one given to you by your professional peers when they question the decisions you have made and advise you to review your original conclusions.

Nowhere is this more obvious than to have the decisions of a judge firstly reversed on appeal, but to have the same case sent back to the same judge for reflection, review, and reconsideration.

The popular circus of Oscar Pistorius and the bit-player wielding the gavel in the person of Judge Thokozile Masipa returned to the glare of global media again today.

When the circus first came to town, it was incredulous that having had an introduction to Latin on the spectrum of offence resulting in the death of a victim and we need not go over that, Oscar Pistorius was found guilty of culpable homicide and a few minor offences resulting in a five-year jail term and a probationary period of three years for the other offences.

The appeal for justice

Oscar Pistorius did not languish in jail, he was out in about a year and fighting to stay free. Meanwhile, one can only commend the tenacity of the National Prosecution Agency that would not give up on the case, but appeal the judgment to a higher court.

When the court returned a judgement on appeal, it suggested Judge Masipa erred in her reading of the issue and concluded, Oscar Pistorius could not have been oblivious of the consequences of his actions, therefore, it could not have been culpable homicide, but murder. Oscar Pistorius’ appeal to the constitutional court failed and he returned to the court of Judge Masipa for sentencing. [Independent][CriminalLawZA]

Now, Oscar Pistorius has been sent to jail for the murder of Reeva Steenkamp for six years, just a year more than what he originally got for culpable homicide and nine years short of the recommended prison term for murder.

Mercifully unjust

It is clear that Judge Masipa has in many ways been sympathetic to Oscar Pistorius, in both the first case and this new sentencing, serving the needs for justice in her conception for Oscar Pistorius and seriously at the expense of the victim Reeva Steenkamp who died a horrific violent death at the hands of her boyfriend.

Justice, in order to retain its humanity, must be tempered with mercy, however, where the victim has no voice to state their case or grievance, it behoves the judge to give the greatest consideration to the voiceless, especially where the perpetrator has hired the best legal guns to shoot down the prosecution's case to smithereens.

For whatever Oscar Pistorius might have lost in career, in earnings, in freedom and much else, it cannot come close to having deprived a young woman with all to live for of her life in what was essentially an evil domestic violence situation. I have no cause to believe Oscar Pistorius’ explanation of the events of that fateful Valentine’s Day of 2013, everything he did was reckless in the extreme to be completely unforgivable.

We mourn still

However, for whatever reason yet unfathomable, he finds favour, grace, mercy and compassion at the actions of Judge Masipa, it feels like Reeva Steenkamp has become a side issue when the whole reason why we have had this odious circus was because Reeva Steenkamp was mercilessly slaughtered.

For the kind of justice that Oscar Pistorius has received, we might well say Reeva Steenkamp has now for a third time suffered an injustice, first at the hands of her boyfriend and twice at the hands of Justice Masipa.

We in our hearts mourn Reeva Steenkamp knowing she has been wronged again, just as many other women in South Africa and beyond have suffered fatalities in a domestic setting and are literally invisible as their murderers traipse off into the sunset getting away with murder.

Reeva Steenkamp – Rest in peace, it seems we would never get the justice you deserve and that is a deeply sad shame.

An appeal: My sister, Feyike is fighting end stage renal disease

My sister, my daughter

One strange evening in a moment of unusual mother and child interaction and that was probably the first and the last for a long time, my mother called me into her room and told me in confidence that she was having a baby at 40.

Until that time, my youngest sibling who is now noticeably obstreperous was already 6 years old.

The arrival of Oluwafeyike was not particularly auspicious for me, I did not attend the naming ceremonies of my last two siblings, besides I was a somewhat problem teenager looking for ways to be away from home and I literally had ceased permanent residency from the age of 10, this was final by the time I was 19.

The almost 17-year gap between us, Feyike or 'our little mummy' as we nicknamed her, had her implicitly as my daughter, though I took no responsibilities at any time to act as overbearing big brother or 'father'.

Many life issues

Soon, I learnt that she had health challenges and she was in and out of hospital, something to do with her kidneys and the body's ability to rid itself of impurities. I was not taken into confidence about most of this detail, I was just expected to play some ill-defined part on fuzzy filial affinity.

With time, medicine and extreme religion on the part of my mother brought some respite, she had seasons of wellness and occasional relapses.

She as the last child and I as the first were preoccupations of my mother, God bless her, as we travelled to temples and grottos, seeing prophets and shamans, engaging in all sorts of rituals to find solutions to first my psychological health problems and then my sister's life-threatening physical health issues.

This she did, running a secondary school, trying a distribution business, raising 6 children and always as it seemed to me, fighting for her marriage from the moment I noticed I had parents.

Where we are now

As a first child, I was privileged in many ways, however, it goes without saying that Feyike as a last child with her attendant condition, was to an extent spoilt.

With a bit of discipline and common-sense actions, her condition could probably have been managed, but we are where we are now, with complications of end stage renal disease and anaemia that will require a kidney transplant.

She ideally should be on dialysis thrice a week, but we can barely afford it once a week. Without the removal of waste products and excess water from her blood, we have had a psychotic episode, difficult to understand until I read up on some of the symptoms of chronic kidney disease.

My appeal

I having once come through cancer, I can well appreciate and understand the seriousness and urgency to find a lasting medical solution to this condition.

Therefore, I am appealing to you all who read this blog in whatever way you can, to help and contribute towards the fund for treatment and kidney transplant that Feyike requires in Nigeria.

The breakdown of costs are as follows:

We have opened a GoFundMe account to receive donations towards her treatment, and your generous donations will be greatly appreciated.

She brings love, fun and joy into our lives and despite her challenges, is well in the prime of her life at 32.

Thank you for your help.

With the kindest regards,

Akin Akintayo.

The accompanying letter from her medical consultant:

To a very personal cause

A situation, an appeal

It has not really been clear to me how to generate income from my writing and my opinions. However, I have been happy to maintain a kind of consistency on my blog that precludes the use of advertisements and other gadgetry that might obscure its purpose.

Every once in a while, someone has left a comment saying how they have enjoyed reading my blog or found some usefulness or reference with material I have published and for that I have been very grateful.

I found that Paypal offers a means by which donations can be made with regards to my blog and writing – my cause is not some major disaster to which a massive appeal to compassion and sympathy is being made; it is for me a personal and life-changing situation that started almost two years ago.

The major cornerstones to full recovery and ability are still being laid and this presents the most basic opportunity for anyone if so persuaded to contribute through the Donate button at the top-right hand corner of my blog. [The button now supports International access in English.]

Every little helps and each contribution is greatly appreciated, I might even eventually make a living out of my writing.

Thank you.