Demanding Courtesy

Escalate this!

After the utterly spiteful mail I received from my boss on Tuesday, I had gotten to a point where I would not stand for any of it any more.

There has to be someone in the company to whom I could appeal to redress this situation and make it right, just and good. The idea that occurred to me was to forward it to both the CIO and HR Director, but on the insightful advise of a colleague I included the CEO in the circulation.

Do not get me wrong, all I wanted was for someone to attend to it and create a situation where I could leave the company in the best of spirits, having not burnt any of my bridges. Copying in the CEO was for the effect of having him wonder why he mailbox received this nonsense and have the other parties sort it out forthwith.

I sent the email under the title of Managerial Conduct on Wednesday evening and even copied in my boss, lest he be surprised at what I was stirring up.

By Thursday, afternoon, I was invited for a meeting with the HR Director and CIO. Not knowing what slant it would take, I asked if I could bring a colleague. The meeting arranger paused and then returned later to suggest that the meeting was going to be friendly and completely non-confrontational.

So, giving the benefit of doubt, I had my friend on standby but attended the meeting alone with some biscuits for coffee.

The meeting was pleasant, heart-warming and very positive, apart from condemning the lack of courtesy on the part of my manager, they offered to let me go immediately if I so wished. I however, decided I needed to finish a few tasks before leaving and so set the date for my last working act for the next Tuesday - 3 working days away.

I also asked that the CIO arrange a meeting with my boss to ensure that we met and parted on very amicable terms and that happened this afternoon.

Face-saving addict

As usual, in the persistent, interminable and obsessive face-saving nature of my boss, he consulted with one of my close colleagues, suggesting he allowed the CIO and HR Director to meet with me without him being present. It speaks volumes; as if I would have agreed to attend if he was to make a showing.

The CIO and HR Director had already said they would overrule him with regards to whatever redress I wanted, he either reports to them or the meeting and assurances were a farce. Sometimes the effrontery of the man blows me away.

He also suggested that my need for recognition was excessive, considering there are many more who have done a lot more and have received no acknowledgement or recognition. My point exactly, what is wrong in expressing gratitude to help increase productivity, goodwill and effectiveness at work?

Anyways, I am of the view that I would be well regarded when I leave and apart from referring to my boss, my activities are in a better light with everyone else but probably him.

The Letter what done it

Dear Lady/Gentlemen,

After much reflection, I am compelled to highlight what I regard a gross injustice in relation to my tenure of service at this company which runs to over 2 years.

I illustrate in some detail three particular grievances

1. The way my resignation was handed and how I am being treated by my manager
2. The inability of HR to mediate and adjudicate in conflict resolution
3. The laissez-faire attitude to what could have been a better handled exit and handover process

I decided to seek other career opportunities immediately after a meeting with my manager Mr Boss which included 3 other attendees to defend my implementation of SMS in the Enterprise following standard Microsoft guidelines and 8 years of experience providing this service to conglomerates.

That meeting which was chaired by Mr Boss was a display of the most unacceptable and untenable use of language, innuendo and threats, none of which I have ever encountered on over 16 years of employment.

The way we were treated disrespectfully, shabbily and without integrity was legendary, it was the very last straw in a litany of events that forced a decision to leave.

When I handed in my notice of resignation, it was received with disdain and no acknowledgement of whatever I might have done in service to this company, even though I do have 2 performance review statements that commend my service, loyalty and professionalism.

In working out what is effectively going to be 7 weeks notice, I appealed to the good nature and reason of Mr Boss and well as the record of my service to allow either an early release or a 4-day week of 40 hours to no avail.

This was complicated by the fact that HR was unable to offer any mediation or conflict resolution. The medical opinion of my doctor was that this was creating a stress level impacting negatively on my health and ability to work, but I returned to work anyhow to complete my assignments as best as I could.

I am seriously concerned that nothing was being done to ensure that my activities and responsibilities are effectively handed over to some other personnel.

I suppose there is a difference of opinion between my colleagues who think my leaving would create a vacuum and my manager who by inference contends that my presence or absence is of no significance.

This is just an opinion, but I believe I deserve better than this petty attitude and use of reckless communication.

Whilst I am not under the illusion that anything would be done to redress this matter with a person so high in the management structure of the establishment, I am putting this on record as the view that the company represents of my service until refuted by a competent authority.

I have also attached for your perusal all email exchanges with Mr Boss, starting with my Letter of Resignation of the 10^th of June 2004.

Thank you for your forbearance and time.

Yours sincerely,

That did it and did it well, I feel vindicated and everyone else who can see through this whole charade knows that it is best not to stand for discourtesy, no matter how high up the cadre the person is or how old-fashioned it seems.

Utterly Spiteful Sower

The Sin of Resigning

You would have learnt over the last few weeks that I resigned my appointment from a cable company in early June and in previous blogs I highlighted reasons why I had to go.

This is all documented the listed blogs

The man and his institutions
Resignation?
No Sir! We would not take the rap
The psychology of resignation
The context of career development

However, I will entertain you to a commentary of events that took place after my last review of the situation in the next few blogs.

Meanwhile, it transpired that my boss who did nothing in the spirit and letter of developing his team decidedly held me to the letter of my notice period, details of our exchanged correspondence and the unfortunate impotence of our Human Resources department in conflict resolution would appear hereafter.

So yesterday, after so much angst expressed by colleagues who felt concerned that a replacement was not being found for my role, I called them into a meeting to help me decide the best way to address this issue.

We finally decided on clearly delineating what is left to be done and highlighting that fact to my boss. I reproduce the complete communication below, you might recognise some of the jargon or even the company this pertains to, if you do, you at least know what enquiries you have to make before joining that department.

My Concern about Handover issues

Sir,

For all intents and purposes, I think I need to address the following basically for your information.

My last working day is the 30^th of July 2004 and there are quite a number of projects and activities that I am involved in and trying to complete, especially those just recently raised.

These activities concern the following:

• The EuroPC for ECC – Completion of the application repackaging set to be deployed on the client – Remedy, Contivity VPN Client testing and refining other applications after the first testing is performed, hopefully soon.
• Repackaging of the Q.mail client, configured for the replacement of the existing server and a client version upgrade.
• Repackaging of the Clarify eFrontOffice client SR1.8 – this would deal with outstanding Derby issues, remove the development tools and conduct the cache cleaning in a better managed way.

Furthermore, I had ideas for the SC&D which would have been in the pipeline execution in the next few months.

• Working on Mozart 2.0 – refining the image, Java Runtime and Acrobat Reader updates, probable Office 2003 upgrade.
• Upgrade to SMS 2003

Whilst, I would strive to complete these outstanding issues, I am not aware of anyone who would carry on any of these functions after I have left, it would be unfortunate that after having given what is effectively 7 weeks notice, this issue has yet to be properly addressed. It is unlikely that I can fulfil the outstanding issues, conduct a handover and fully document SC&D by the time I leave.

The functions PEBO covers are just the operation of the SMS environment.

Finally, considering how understanding and favourable you have been towards my departure, I have now taken the liberty to withdraw the offer made in my resignation letter to help out whoever takes over my role after I have left.

I trust I have duly acquainted you with the situation at hand.

Thanks and regards.

His reply

Hi Akin,

Thanks for sharing your concern for SC&D after your departure, I am sure the company will survive.

Best regards

My response

Sir,

That is fine with me, I never considered myself indispensable. It has been a pleasure working for you.

My best regards

His final response

Akin,

All the best wishes.

Best regards

Commentary

I did forward this to HR just to highlight the fact that our relationship had deteriorated to such a level that one would really wonder what might have gone on before now.

The whole episode speaks volumes, but hey! I only have 8 more days of working for a man who in not coming to terms that I had resigned has mismanaged what could have been the most amicable parting and it only shows that my 2 years of service to him amounted to nothing when the reckoning was made.

It is a good thing I jumped; I wonder what would have happened if I was pushed, I probably would not be here to tell the tale.

The psychology of resignation

Post-resignation horse trading

You will notice in my notice of resignation to my manager, I made a few suggestions on how to handle my notice period. It so happens that my contract of employment stipulates that I give a calendar month’s notice.

The problem with that is the possibility of having to endure up to 8 weeks of not wanting to be where you already decided to leave.

In general, that should give your manager the impetus to arrange for a replace who would take over your duties in order not to precipitate a crisis when you leave.

However, in some cases, the boss busies himself in trying to frustrate your departure considering he possibly was instrumental in frustrating you out of the job in the first place.

The folly of that kind of attitude is the way it has the tendency to sap all available goodwill left to conclude the contract in the best possible terms.

Everyone who knows you are leaving are offered a forum to listen to every kind of unpalatable umbrage spewed out either by the manager or the leaver about each other.

Interestingly, I cannot suddenly have had a radical change in interest, commitment and loyalty which were in core principles on which my performance review was based without some extraordinary event of trail of events that have prompted my looking for greener pastures.

Our HR department can attest to a number of meetings where I expressed concerns about persons exceeding their brief, difficulties with effective communication and an atmosphere of indifference.

To this end, we have had an exchange of emails relating to the aftermath of my resignation without much progress on the part of my manager. They are listed below, however, with some analysis.

Letter 1 - To all parties with whom I am involved

Titled - For your information

Lady and Gentlemen,

I have formally notified the company of my intention to seek other career opportunities, I believe arrangements would be in place for someone or some function to assume my responsibilities at my departure which is by no means immediate [I have a notice period to serve].

Meanwhile, all already scheduled activities regarding Software Control & Deployment would run their due course to completion, the backlog of events would be cleared as much as is possible and practicable, neither would this development impact on the standard of service you are accustomed to.

It is however necessary to ensure any of your staff who liaise with my functions are duly informed, lest there be any information or service they might require before I leave.

Thanks for all the support and fruitful working relationship we have had.

My best regards

Letter 2 - To my manager

You will recall I suggested a possible negotiation of terms towards an agreeable end-date of my tenure with UPC.

I understand that you have to assess the workload and/or necessary handover processes needed to divest my responsibilities to your appointed successors to my function.

I have already informed all partners that use my services to ensure that they interface with me on whatever outstanding issues they might require my input for before I leave.

However, here are my proposals.

+        Fulfilling the 40 hour week over a 4 day week in the next month; making the end of that month my last working day.

+        Finishing at the end of the second working week of next month

I hope you can ponder these options and provide me a response today.

Thanks for your consideration and anticipating your favourable response.

Regards

Letter 3 - Manager’s response

Excuse the malapropisms, his English expression is not known for clarity

Hi,

I will assess the situation asap, but will not complete this before next week. This means current situation is expectation that you have to complete your work accordingly to your contract's terms.

From at least one of our customers I understand you yesterday have communicated directly to them and without a CC to your manager the re-planning situation for SC&D now undergoing.

Only positive effect from this was a longer list of urgent demands for SC&D actions communicated to me, if this was your goal - it was achieved.

Best regards,

Commentary:

This is a typical instance of making rules on the fly, I am not aware of any contractual obligation to copy my manager in on any of my correspondence as long as I am fulfilling my role and there is no particular need to escalate a situation for resolution.

As for the re-planning situation for SC&D, that is the first I have heard of any such plans, I have always suspected that one of the reasons our working relationship failed was because I am not clairvoyant, we cannot all be that talented.

Since this response given almost 2 weeks ago, there has been no movement on this issue since then.

Letter 4 - My invitation to a pilot leaving party

Titled - The long good bye project

Friends,

Since it appears it is going to be a rather looooong goodbye, I have decided I would first do a Pilot/UAT run before the Goodbye is accepted into Production, in the not too distant future.

This pilot involves putting succulent edibles in nutrition acceptance receptacles, masticating the inputs and ingesting the same after the momentary stimulation of your taste sensors.

Basically, it is cakes at 14:15 onwards today. Please join me in this test run.

Thanks and regards

Commentary:

This was really to make a mockery of the whole racket developing around my notice period. Also, since pilots have always been a luxury in my team before a major deployment.

This was an ample opportunity to introduce pilots as a standard pre-production step in a project.

Letter 5 - My response to my manager

I appreciate your response, even you said you were not surprised by my decision to leave and that my functions can easily be picked up by other personnel when you rebuffed my offer to come in to help in an introductory handover for anyone you might assign to take up my role. I could only assume you had already anticipated and pre-planned for this event.

My 2 years of service to you as affirmed in both my performance reviews should hopefully count for something to allow you consider my proposals more favourably and allowing us to part on usefully amicably terms.

Again, it is within your prerogative to hold me to my contract terms, it would not affect my level of professionalism and standard of service.

I have generally communicated with our customers with whom I have developed a good working relationship over the years and either of us would have had to inform them anyhow; the influx of urgent requests would have come anyway, either front-loaded to this time or back-loaded to my last few days.

What can be achieved would be achieved, the rest would have to be devolved to your appointed successors to my functions, the period of notice is to offer us all and good opportunity to handover effectively, not to suddenly try to perform miracles.

Best regards

Commentary:

My point exactly, we both have a responsibility to inform all users of my services that I would be leaving the company. If he had not made the about my role being easily picked up by others within the organisation, I would have been jumping the gun at informing people of my departure.

As a manager, if you decide to shoot yourself in the foot out of spite and ingratitude, I certainly would not be trying to save your face in order to inconvenience myself.

I want to give this job a clean break and move on, I do not intend for the regime of frustration to becloud me horizons no matter how much he now tries to redeem a failed situation.

Unfortunately, I have received no response to this reply. To fulfil all righteousness, I sent him a copy of the letter I send to our partners with a cover note. Also, by this time, my boss had still not informed HR that I was leaving.

Letter 6 - Cover Note

Hi,

This is the email I sent to the customers I deal with, it states that the already scheduled SC&D activities would be dealt with and the backlog cleared up as much as can be done.

I would be going off on holiday from Wednesday, I would like to know your decision on my proposals on Tuesday and I would be away till the first working Monday of next month.

Thanks and regards

Commentary:

No response. I do wonder when he would realise that I am not more affected by this immature "political" stalling attitude. In a masterstroke of acrimony, all this can eventually be forwarded to his manager the CIO.

Basically, if you cannot reason in a reasonable manner with someone, then all reasonable means of bringing reason to bear might have to be employed.

For now, I am exercising extreme restraint, after from the fact that I am off on holiday, nothing should mar the pleasures of rest, recuperation and preparation for the future.

Letter 7 - Before I left for a 2-week holiday

Hi,

I do not know if you have been able to assess the requirements and planning for SC&D in relation to my pending departure.

I am off on holiday from today and returning to work on the first Monday of the next month, you can contact me about your considerations by email and I would also be available on my mobile phone to discuss any new developments pertaining to this.

Thanks and regards

Commentary:

I am yet to receive any response to this after a week of sending this email. This also happens to be 4 working days after the next week referred to in Letter 3.

I suppose we only have to observe how this all plays out eventually.

Mind games numbing reason and killing feeling

I would suppose I have served due process and diligence in this matter, with my notice, my suggestions, my recommendations and patience.

I have offered him the initiative to dealing scrupulously with a situation that can deteriorate into a farce.

I do not intend for my standard of service to be compromised or deteriorate, but the simple decision to leave means I have lost all enthusiasm for that role, a last gasp at megalomania would not in any way improve this situation.

The only option left is compromise, for me, this is a dead duck manager who has run out of aces that could impact my future career.

Watch for a future blog reviewing my past managers.

No Sir! We would not take the rap

Experiences at work

If you have been a follower of events on my blogs you would realise that my experiences in my soon to be concluded job have produced insight about the workings of management and staff that militates against due process and needed progress.

You will find in an example below a typical email I addressed to all concerned about an inordinate rush to implement a half-baked idea in order to gain kudos that would fade as the problems and cracks begin to show up just soon after it has been declared a success.

I would hope that my 15 years experience in IT would count for something, though I find it interesting also when my younger boss speaks in that kind of time frame, you’ll think he finished university at 13 - but then nothing is impossible.

The Background

As we had done many times before, the team I belong in has been a battering ram to impose, conquer and implement grand schemes of IT prowess. Some have been glaringly successful and others have just been nominally OK.

My boss is not a believer in collaboration; rather, all other existing implementations where we have been called to introduce change are discounted for what we can offer. The main thinking is, if we are not the ones implementing the idea, we are irrelevant and others would be called upon to do the job.

That, one would think is understandable for new projects, but surely, duplicating a process to see who gets there first or better in the same organisation is just wanton wastefulness but the stuff of internal political sophistry, presumably.

In this instance, we were to roll out a desktop platform with the attendant back-end infrastructure to co-exist with an already working setup, but without proper co-operation with the staff in that remote location.

When the boss sent the project team to consult with us about this, he also briefed them against me, saying they would encounter difficulty with me and they should railroad whatever I had to say.

Interesting situation, well, I ask difficult questions and I want sensible answers, I was employed to THINK - that is give expert advice - the day I stop thinking is the day my job is done.

The email below was written in December 2003 and the reply from my boss soon after, his promise to answer properly, the issues I raised was never fulfilled.

The email

Subject: The Project - Some truth explored.

Gentlemen,

After reading all the notes from Austria IT personnel and seeing the urgency to deliver impressed on us over the last few days; there may be one thing not accounted for in all the proceedings and possibly the one that could be at variance to all the political machinery brought into force to execute this project.

Everybody who has a technical interest in the project is doing everything to protect and highlight the quality of our profession judgment, expertise and standard of service we are accustomed to giving our customers.

It is the reason why we would test every facet before we sanction any action as delivered and the same reason they would want detailed insight into every process before they go ahead.

These interests would sometimes run counter to the management purpose because they represent realities closer to the ground than is available in executive overviews or project profiles, difficult to articulate but essential to resolve in order to fulfil all requirements.

This strata of the project is what project managers are supposed to have the responsibility of understanding, recognising and diffusing; serving properly as the communication channels and arbiters of the truth of the situation.

Where this is lacking, we (the technical interests in NL and AT) are called upon by our sides to manufacture excuses or half-truths that put a spin on reality and create the opportunity to be able to blame the other party.

You will all appreciate that we all want to deliver what works and if we are to take lessons we have learnt from the previous deployment; none of this is a turn-key deployment - too many parts are linked together to offer this solution.

Once it goes live we will encounter issues that can only be discovered in THAT live situation. {The problems I had to resolve yesterday evening regarding Office XP and the Anti-Virus are case in point.}

This is why even when everything worked in Region 1 and we cloned the scenarios to all the other 4 regions; they all presented different challenges and we would encounter some challenges with Austria no doubt.

Unfortunately, we have had no opportunity to fully document those challenges since we are still within the deployment phases of the present and have now picked up Austria.

What has not been articulated in this note simply presents food for thought regarding the way we have adopted high-visibility projects.

Regards.

The Reply

I will reply in detailed when ever more time is available, but can state I don't support several of the statements made.

Best regards

The Boss

The Analysis

I have planted thoughts of concern in the minds of about 8 people who received my email and what we get is a lame rebuttal, but carry on regardless of what was said.

Well, hardly 6 hours after my email was read, the outrageously ambitious but unachievable time table for the rollout was first moved back a week, then another 4 weeks within 2 days.

What I find amazing is the inability to marry desire with reality on the part of management, such that having a pilot for any project our team embarks on is considered a luxury.

In the end, we started getting information that this roll out was not as successful as it should be, but this is one time where after all we have done, and continue to do in a conscientious and professional manner.

The blame lies squarely at the feet of the boss for the way he politically mismanaged the issues that could have been better received and accepted if we were allowed to cooperate and collaborate with teams that provide support in the areas where we are introducing change.

Once again, No Sir! Technical solutions cannot make up for failed political and management issues.

How to brew a conspiracy

The boss is up to no good

This was in the making for quite a while, that is was all coming together now was no surprise to all affected, but why?

Well, January is the time of yearly Performance Reviews in our organisation; yet, the characteristics that govern our execution or rather muddling and fumbling through projects are evident in performance review workflow.

The logic really follows that one should not expect that phase to run counter to the grain, especially if you are not if you are not on the greasy pole of corporate enhancement.

Being a time when managers exercise the most latitude without giving anything away, the dissimulation beggars belief, thinking you are hoodwinked, everyone can see the lie as well as you will see the enemy coming if you were atop a mountain – from all direction in which your gaze is cast.

The notices about the review arrived about two months before, but no stirrings to act until five days before the deadline.

The more perceptive of us had asked HR if this issue had been shelved, the advice came to be patient, because the whole process now in motion would impinge on us like an avalanche.

Therefore, it did on Monday with the proviso that further information about the review would follow. It did not.

Always be prepared

Having seen other teams obtain forms in preparation, which were filled in well before the meetings, the boss became accountable for not allowing us that level of preparation.

Being a master of the black arts of management, with the preparedness that foxes the fox that the hounds caught; the race was over by the time the gun went in a short sprint when his head start was at the finishing line. A victory lap he does, you bemoaning your tardiness.

Our team holds the initiative for all innovation, so in spite of the apparent lapse on his part, we surreptitiously obtained the form anyhow from others and prepared.

Herein is the conspiracy, fuelling resentment, bitterness, anger, retribution bordering on a compulsive obsession to unleash a self-destruct move.

Our man in the echelons of power knew we take time to prepare to meet with him, and when on projects or official issues he is not remiss to desiccate and pulverise, the individual has more control over this personal subject with the right to refuse to endorse an unfavourable agreement.

An option includes bringing in HR for arbitration, not good for either party.

However, lest one succumbs to the pervasive hypnosis brought on by praise that is damning if objectively reviewed, alertness to the facts with a waver of thought becomes a focal issue.

To forget is human

For the boss to gain ascendancy in such a way as to be able to withhold rightful remuneration is poor, though the game of subtlety involved is not for the faint-hearted or boys.

In the end, it had slipped his mind, not before everyone had their heads shaking in disgust and the quest for the counsel of the wise left one rueing one's potent ability to generally think things through and avoid the concealed disaffection, which masquerades as respect.

Ready, we were for the day and for those who battled, some drew blood, but none was harmed.

The day after is a tomorrow of promise, the promises you have made to yourself and not the ones about to be broken in the heat of your ego being massaged.

Temperament Sorters and Personality questionnaires

For one, before such assessments, one reviews once again the personality of I using the Keirsey Temperament Sorter II – An Artisan Performer one is, but do not believe that one is that much an extrovert, appearances are usually that deceiving.

Caveats

The temperament sorter provides a free mini-result, but the full analysis costs about $15 and is well worth it.

One's Temperament is Artisan (SP) and the Character Type (ESFP); more detail is available on The Keirsey Home page.

An additional sorter based on the original results to define your kind of career aspirations is obtainable from your profile page for under $20.

One has found this useful and is no sales pitch.

R - E - S - P - E - C - T !

Can he pass the respect test?

Hired as an expert to offer solutions for the benefit of the organisation that employed you, when do you begin to realise that you are the valued asset or part of the corporate dunghill?

Treating RESPECT as an acronym, we put the boss through his paces.

Recognition

If the boss has to recognise your worth and talent formally, then he has to consider ways of compensating you. Compensation is easy; however, the power to withhold compensation is even a greater intoxicating boost to the boss's ego.

This is the first aspect of respect where it is evident that you doing your job bring kudos to the boss, but the line is that you should grateful you have a job.

Expectation

There are two sides to expectation; one to do with unachievable goals set by people who have not appreciation what it takes to get a job done and the other to do with you being challenged and mentored to produce your best and excel.

Maintaining the first expectation comes from the boss not engaging you in the process of decision-making though you are the expert. The second comes from the boss who recognises that bring out the best in his troops involves developing their potential even if they end up excelling beyond the boss.

Significance

Is your boss the one-man island of taking all the accolades or a team player that knows that the team with all its significant members and everyone in any one team is significant?

Where the boss recognises your contribution, you are significant and respected.

Participation

This depends on when you are called in to participate, if involved in the decision-making process your significance is recognised because it is expected that you have the ideas needed.

However, if you only participate when you receive orders to execute a task little account is taken of whom you are.

Encouragement

A boss who is in no fear of his position would encourage ideas to bring the best out of his team. In building the team, he would also encourage individuality to promote creativity, which brings the best results.

This boss respects his team and works hard to ensure that mentally, emotionally and professionally, his team are in top condition.

A boss who discourages by continually threatening his team with their jobs or disparaging their work would end up with clones and Yes-men.

He will not get good counsel and would miss the truth he needs to make the team create value.

Consideration

A boss who thinks you are wedded to your job alone and deserve no time to a life outside work is inconsiderate. He mortgages your free time and weekend for his own ends with consultation.

Takes no time to communicate issues that affect you and freely plays your secrets out to others in guise of making others think they are part of the trusted inner-circle.

Trust

When you need your boss to back you up on any issue no matter the political fallout; he is there risking the consequences for the name and honour of the team.

He is someone you can trust and he can trust you.

Has your boss passed the respect test?

Soon we would find out if you have passed the respect test.