Thursday, 16 January 2014

Opinion: To Be A Homosexual in Africa Today

The freedoms I have
Sometimes I forget that privileges and conveniences I have by reason of birth and location, taking many things for granted that many others desire to see, if they can beyond, the next hour.
The life I have today I cherish, the health I have has been a constant blessing - each day I desire the world is a better place for all people, sadly, for some, each day is a worse hell than the day before.
I have no answers to many of these problems, but I hope for the few I meet, I can seed a word of hope, some encouragement and maybe more to brighten them up towards the things they face.
Justified to do justice
Yet, I have watched as people secure in the sense of who they think they are from their religion, their status, their morality, their identity or their beliefs of superiority bray like an irate mob to consume those who are different.
They have found an easy outlet of convenience, justified in their words and deeds to act in the stead of God and culture to remove from their communities those that do not conform.
The hatred dripping from their fangs like vampires after a feast of bloody abandon, they have whipped up a frenzy of hysteria; we must protect our values from corruption, but the corruption they perceive has always been part of our humanity, from the time there was the opportunity between people to find affection and express that affection as intimately as they dare to care.
Difference and diversity
Before the law that instructs about whether things we right or wrong, we existed almost oblivious of each other yet enjoyed the brotherhood and neighbourliness of our humanity until knowledge came of how different we were.
Some celebrated and embraced our diversity, others exploited and exacerbated our differences, the former was the selfless act of love in the mould of the Good Samaritan, and the latter was the selfish act of hatred giving scope for unimaginable evil.
Yet, we are allowed the courage of our convictions to take the easy path of convenience and follow the crowd of thoughts that would ostracise the other to belong to the many.
We have schooled ourselves to not acquiesce, groomed ourselves never to tolerate, and decided we cannot accommodate those that are to our thinking different, bad, dangerous, evil, degenerate, repulsive, hell-bound and condemned.
A fellow human being
Such is the homosexual to many of us, a fellow human being, who should if we had our way never be fellow, nor dare to be human for their being does not deserve to walk the streets we walk.
But think on this matter; in any population on the face of the earth and the diversity that each unit when compartmentalised might contain, anything from 1% to 10% or more would be so radically different from us – shall we treat them like dogs for their status, their race, their tribe, their handicap, their sexuality, their speech, their beliefs, their views, their culture, their lifestyles, their origin, their mix, their loves, their hates and much else?
Then think on this, if you belonged to any minority where the tyranny of the majority reigned supreme to blackmail, to persecute, to bully, to prosecute, to excoriate, to condemn, to lynch and to put to death.
That is the unbearable existence of the gay African (a fellow human being) in their hostile communities; anything up to and possible more than 80 million* Africans who have always lived in Africa and hardly been exposed to influences outside Africa are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual or intersexual, they have nowhere to go but to live in Africa, where they belong, by birth and by right.
*[The 80 million figure is an estimate of possibly 8% of the total population not being heterosexual. More references appear below the blog.]
Worst examples of leadership
The purpose of leadership in the face of vulnerable minorities is not to accentuate the differences amongst the people they lead that would persecute the few, but to demonstrate the magnanimous virtues of maturity, to offer all the protections of the law possible and to moderate all their expressed views and actions to minorities amongst them.
This is the failure of leadership we have witnessed in politics and governance being demonstrated in pandering to populist demagoguery, for the truth is that homosexuals have always been amongst us in Africa until someone found some political gain in pointing fingers at them.
The almost 80 million African homosexuals are not going to disappear overnight because some law has been promulgated to the glee and satisfaction of the majority.
What are you doing?
The lynching of homosexuals in streets near you, where you have given your support to depriving your own fellow citizen and countryman of life by your words, your actions or your silence would not eliminate them.
By God, if sexuality were a matter of choice like one could change clothes, homosexuals would definitely wear different clothes from what they wear now to conform and be assimilated into your norm.
For all those that debate and contend that homosexuality is a choice and a lifestyle, if you walked a long hard mile in the shoes of a homosexual, your choice and lifestyle would be that of a heterosexual but we have enough science to prove that homosexuality is as set as the colour of your skin – you can tone or tan your skin, but you cannot change your race.
Address your humanity
As we acquiesce to the 21st Century extermination of the African homosexual, each one of almost 80 million of them, the lives lost in World War I which we celebrate the centenary of this year and those lost in World War II combined, along with the gruesome evil of the Holocaust, would not begin to number close to the task of ridding ourselves of this homosexual menace.
This is not about the West, this is about our own, our own people, fellow human beings, their lives, their livelihoods, their existence, their pursuit of happiness, all quietly seeking to fulfil their potential in their own countries, provinces, states and communities, like any other person born into this world desires, given the opportunity.
If you for a moment were homosexual, what would you do?
Address your humanity and with that see the humanity in others.
Thank you.
Other readings

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

My love of Whisky


The warmth I knew
As winter days and nights go, the joys of central heating could be such fun to keep warm. Like my apartment in Amsterdam where the insulation and heating was such that one could traipse around the rooms naked without a care in the world.
This was fun until the very last few months when the clatter of my teeth was the makings of an industrial machine, the warmth had left with impending departure.
One desperately tries to keep as warm as possible in England; thermal underwear, scarfs, leg-length socks, sturdy shoes with all-weather grip soles and leather gloves.
My love of Whisky
This time, I have a companion, his name is Whisky, he stays close, offers amazing warmth, lying on my chest, or grabbing my sides in such intimate embrace that no winter night goes without the love.
Flamboyant in dress, receptive in gifts, many a pain he has soothed almost better than a masseuse, deft and dainty, professional and knowing how to knead those achy parts.
He head is screwed on, yet his dexterity feeds my imagination with utility I cannot demand of any other friend. He can’t be shaken and he melts the ice, such is his warmth that is quite hotter than Adonis at the first touch.
I love you Whisky, never leave my side.


Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Thought Picnic: Express expression expressly

Talk well
If I were to visit my alma mater to give a talk about anything, it would not be about the usual fare of overselling my career choices or the art of making money as a demonstration of success but in the need for articulate expression.
I would say that students should carefully choose their language of expression and take time to master its usage in context, in nuance, with wit and in the conveyance of thought and ideas with gravitas and class.
Essentially, they should dispense of slang and colloquialism to major in wholesome, intelligent conversation that shows they have a good grasp of the detail and a way to share that without sending listeners into soporific repose.
Write nicely
Then, we would touch on the art of writing, the use of proper dictionary extant words in grammatical constructs of clarity, concision and context.
The use of expletives is complete out if the question as is crudeness and louche expression. There is a refinement that comes with the proper use of language winning arguments and making persuasive points whilst maintaining an air of comportment.
Reading of Emma Thompson’s two visits to her old school, three years apart, and the way she could not stand the use of ‘likes’ and ‘innits’ and ‘it ain’ts’, goes to show that what we hear you say can determine how you would be viewed. [Evening Standard] [Independent]
Articulate and ready
I sometimes hear people speak and too much can already be deduced about them, some views almost unprintable for the frankness and candidness.
We should put more effort into ensuring that the language of choice for communication is not bastardised by nondescript speedwriting shorthand, homophonic representations of words or text English as if what one needs to write is limited by cost per character type in telegrams of old.
Emma Thompson sums it up in these words, “We have to reinvest, I think, in the idea of articulacy as a form of personal freedom and power.” It matters, and I could not agree more.


Nigeria: Arrest Him! He's Homosexual!

The sketch
Alice More (Wife): Arrest him!
Sir Thomas More (England's Lord High Chancellor): For what?
Alice More: He's dangerous!
William Roper (Son-in-law): For all we know he's a spy!
Margaret More (Daughter): Father, that man's bad!
Sir Thomas: There's no law against that!
William Roper: There is God's law!
Sir Thomas: Then let God arrest him!
Alice More: While you talk he's gone!
Sir Thomas: And go he should, if he were the Devil himself, until he broke the law.
William Roper: So, now you give the Devil the benefit of law!
Sir Thomas: Yes!
Sir Thomas: What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?
William Roper: Yes, I'd cut down every law in England to do that!
Sir Thomas: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat?
Sir Thomas: This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man's laws, not God's! And if you cut them down (and you're just the man to do it!), do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then?
Sir Thomas: Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake!
Sketch from A Man For All Seasons about Sir Thomas More from What Delicate Balance? by John Loeffler.
Signed in silence
I watched on social media yesterday as word got round that the President of Nigeria had signed into law the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Bill (SSMPB) which had wide ranging powers to persecute and prosecute Nigerian citizen homosexuals and their sympathisers with threats of jail sentences of up to 14 years. [The Nation] [Wikipedia] [SSMPB (PDF)]
There is no point dwelling on the minutiae of that law, because there is a wider issue at play that we fail to recognise can be the unintended consequence of this type of law.
At no time was Nigeria under the threat of sweeping homosexual matrimony invading the sanctity of temple or place of worship for solemnisation, the majority of the population is well schooled in the revulsion of homosexuality from a sexual perspective, that they would willingly gather in mobs to lynch in the name of whatever deity they worship to mete out just justice without repercussion.
Stones in hand
At tip of the tongue and with means to act, they have chapter and verse from any religious tome of your choosing to commit the homosexual instantly to the abyss of infernal perdition. We need no encouragement in what is innately our natural disposition.
Homosexuals in Nigeria have no pride marches, society takes no pride in them, the family can’t have pride for them and in essence the person so afflicted in the minds of the assailant is not proud of who they are. They are stuck in labyrinthic closets or acquiescing to societal pressures fulfilling the rites of passage of marriage whilst satisfying a deeper need on the down low.
Yet, we have a law for what does not exist, which can never get popular and has little chance in this generation of becoming acceptable, in our statute books. An exercise in legislative indolence signed off to the hysterical mesmerisation of the people who think this is the best thing the government ever did.
Now they've come
They have come for the homosexual with the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Bill and because many are not homosexual they like the crowd that gathered at the trial of Jesus before Pontius Pilate have been excited by the leaders to cry out loud until they are hoarse – Crucify them!
One cannot be oblivious of history, for the persecution of the minority, the different, the castigated, the powerless and the other has allowed tyranny to lay hold until there is none to stand true for justice.
The words of Martin Niemöller come to mind in all its contexts and ramifications and for this piece, may I prefix it without necessarily changing the whole premise to the Nigerian setting, because there would be people to eventually fill those cadres of offence when sufficient momentum is gained for a new moral law on dressing, on sayings, on actions and much else, in what is becoming a sham of a democracy.
First they came for the Gays, and I did not speak out—because I was not gay.
Then they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
No business of the state
For the state has deviated from civil law to moral codes as much of the debate that fuelled support for this law had nothing to do with civil coexistence of the diversity of humanity and human nature, but some selective affinity to Mosaic rules designed specifically to differentiate the Israelites of the times of Exodus from other tribes. I digress on this essential matter of conscience above all else.
Where this becomes a problem is whilst in general, we have agreement amongst religious beliefs, we have no consonance of systems of worship and essentially do not believe the same.
For each person to their level of adherence can decide that they subscribe to their understanding of God’s law to do whatever they will or think is God’s mind about issues, even if others do not so subscribe to that system of beliefs or believe in any of that stuff. Yes, to some, stuff is article of faith and to others, it is just stuff.
Thinking for ourselves
When a man suggests he is only answerable to God or his religion, the state loses the power to provide the impartiality of justice to all its citizenry. For God’s law when taken to the street imposes sanction without appeal, empowering abuse without redress, yet self-justifies the presumably self-appointed custodians of those laws.
This was well argued in the submission of Lord Justice Laws on the issue of separation of religion and state.
“The law of a theocracy is dictated without option to the people, not made by their judges and governments. The individual conscience is free to accept such dictated law, but the state, if its people are to be free, has the burdensome duty of thinking for itself.”
In other words, these laws whilst appearing to be founded on firm moral principle, they offer no protections for the people in a democracy when they are caught on the wrong side of it, either by reason of being criminalised or by the abuse of process to persecute the innocent.
Arrest him, he’s homosexual
This takes us back to the sketch at the beginning of this blog on the use of the law, the misuse of the law and the abuse of authority.
The Lord High Chancellor had his family appeal to his sentiment to arrest a man because he was dangerous, and in terms, the homosexual in Nigeria is deemed dangerous not for anything that affects us personally, but for the satisfaction of our moral sentiments.
And by God’s law in the arguments proffered when debating the bill in the legislature, we have created something to ensnare people by criminalising the bedroom of others who do not subscribe to what is our norm or our normality.
In the voices of Margaret More, Alice More and William Roper, we seek to persecute, prosecute, impugn, damage and criminalise deploying every fallacy available to justify our stance (against everything different, unusual, misunderstood, reviled, especially homosexuality), by appealing to every sentiment to suborn the objective assessment of the facts, but there stands amongst us a Sir Thomas More.
This is a very bad law
He brings down every fallacy from hysteria to tradition, upholding the primacy of man’s law and its purpose for justice and fairness to all. For our wider humanity which easily finds ways to exacerbate difference and punish the same is better served in finding unity of purpose, in according fundamental human rights to each existence, to every expression and to the pursuit of happiness.
The Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Bill whichever way you want to look at it is a bad law, it is odious, inhuman, unconscionable, contemptible and celebratory of the worst of our human expression in the name of some presumed morality – the fight for its repeal has begun.
Every Nigerian homosexual in the 21st Century should have a right to exist and thrive in their own country, fulfilling their potential without hindrance of the state through the criminalisation of who they are.
For all the sentiment we might have about what is the reason for homosexuality, science and psychology has gone beyond that to prove it is natural, sticking to the age-old religious acceptance that the earth is flat does not change the scientific fact that the earth is round, and it is the earth that revolves around the sun rotating on its axis to make night and day. 
I stand for the diversity of humanity expression, the protection of the rights of all, similar, different, powerless, powerful, heterosexual, asexual, celibate and homosexual, old and young, the many and the few. Repeal the law!

Other notes


Monday, 13 January 2014

Thought Picnic: The Love I Lost


My relationships
At my last therapy session we continued on the topic of relationships, something I thought we should discuss beyond the many other sessions we had covered in the previous four meetings.
I would cover the other issues we talked about in another blog, but in this case, we had gone over a list of long term lovers, the beauty of each relationship, the uniqueness each lover brought into my life and the things I still cherish of each of them.
Three significant relationships, I have had, the beginning and end of each left different scars. Many scars I brandish with the honour and good fortune of having been allowed to be part of their lives and yet feeling loved for their willingness to share mine with the seriousness and levity that I bring to the pursuit of happiness.
Free to be with me
One can live in regret of what might or might not have been or recognise that some relationships run their course, some long before we are ready to pack it up and others just have outlived their usefulness.
Most critical to me in every relationship has been the need that my partner not feel imprisoned in our partnership, I cherish willingness and freedom. I am comfortable with the times we spent together and the space needed to spend apart. That is my disposition.
I have remained close friends with one, another I cannot only grieve for what might have been but now is a memory and the third simply vanished, such is life.
Saw and liked
Recently, I have been exploring the possibility of a new relationship and one caught my eye. That is it, attraction is the first thing, then exploration into possibility.
This person appeared to tick all my boxes but I was disadvantaged in that we could not meet as frequent enough to consolidate what started off as a spark of interest about to ignite the kindling of love.
I retained some hope that something might happen but before that opportunity came, my love interest that I had left without the essentially nurturing the interest to keep it going and growing strong has found a new love interest and what was I supposed to do?
The pursuit of happiness remains
I read of it on Facebook, I was slightly saddened that for the second time now, as happened to the one I grieve, I failed in my pursuit of happiness with all the vigour and ability I could muster, in the process I lost out to the fact that others do have to get on with their lives in the pursuit of their own happiness.
The love I lost was a sweet love, yet, I wish them the very best and the quest for love continues.


#YourBlogOnMyBlog - A Decade Blogs Backstory

The idea
When I thought of how I wanted to celebrate my Decade of Blogging just over three months ago, the idea of getting people to write for my blog would have looked like a very easy task, all I had to do was receive their write-ups and publish them.
Nothing could be further from the truth, the job of persuasion was not easy; at least, I had nothing to publish on the day of my anniversary of blogging apart from promises from a handful of friends.
Yet, all hope was not lost, the 8th of December 2103 passed without much event, and then on the 9th the first blog came in and for each of the following for days after that, I had to wait for the blogs to arrive as I worked on my friends to write freely, about anything without as much as a deadline but a sense of urgency.
This is work
By Christmas Day, I had 35 blogs and with that was the magnitude of the work I had set for myself and the possibility that I could be swamped under a load of developing interest. I decided to close entries for new submissions on the 27th of December to allow me to handle what I already had.
First was the issue of management, from the time the 6th blog arrived, I set up a spreadsheet to manage requests, responses, submissions, editions, and publications.
When the blogs arrived, I reviewed them, edited them, filled in explanations, crosschecked quotes, added links to help in understanding contexts, and hardest of all, wrote introductions to each of the blogs to talk about the person, our relationship, what they do and what their online presence was.
Then I created a schedule on my spreadsheet juggling publication dates as each blog came in so as to give some diversity of view and opinion for each week.
Establishing order
Once this was done, I set the blogs to go out daily at just around midnight and followed up their publication with tweets. The tweets were first the titles of the blogs and then excerpts from the blogs, each drawing some attention to aspects covered by the blogs.
At the end of each 7-week day of publication, Sunday in this case, I did a blog roundup first for the activities I was involved in during that week with an emphasis on the fact that I had not deserted my blog. This came under the caption – I’m still here.
Then for each successive week, the roundups included all the previously published blogs until the last one which had 35 blogs in all.
New ideas
Beyond these 35 blogs, many others wanted to contribute to my celebratory blog residency of #YourBlogOnMyBlog and unfortunately, I could not take any new entries after the 27th of December.
The original plan was to take commemorative blogs until the end of December; that would have been 23 blogs that grew to 35 and was in danger of going to 50, considering I had 45 interests on my spreadsheet and the many others who got interested afterward.
I regret I was unable to accommodate new blogs in this particular tranche, but I would set up a format to admit new blogs to make 2014 a celebratory year of blogging on my blog.
Thank you
This has been a wonderful experience for me and I cannot thank the contributors enough for how they acceded to my request and honoured me with the responsibility for publishing their thoughts.
For as long as we can write, let us celebrate the joy of telling our own stories in refreshingly unique ways on the many available forums of expression for we each all have a story to tell.
Thank you one, thank you all.

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Decade Blogs - Roundup V - All the 35 Blogs and Thanks

Thank you
I start by thanking everyone who offered to write a blog for my Decade of Blogging with the Twitter hashtag #YourBlogOnMyBlog. In the end, I had up to 45 possible offers, 35 delivered in sufficient time to allow me to review, edit and schedule the blogs into five weeks of hosted opinion.
I am honoured and at the same time amazed at the breadth of opinion, ideas and content that can come from these blogs; there are many lessons to take away from these shared experiences.
I hope to use some of these ideas in blogs I write through 2014 to highlight the richness in stories that each bears as part of our individuality and uniqueness in the broader scheme of our humanity.
To all who could act, those who had good intentions and the many others who desired but could not be entertained, I express my heartfelt gratitude and thanks. May we all have many more years to celebrate the joys of writing.
I’m still here
This is the final roundup blog for the #YourBlogOnMyBlog Series commemorating my Decade of Blogging. A five-week residency of blogs from 35 different people covering all aspects of life and society, from the trivial to the very serious.
I wrote a few blogs this week, starting with the issue of trivialising rape in off-colour and atrocious jokes online. The comedian soon learnt that whilst he thinks his audience is local to Nigeria, the readership of his stupidity is global, and he got global condemnation.
I probably should write a comprehensive blog on the pursuit of happiness; however, I found Pharrell Williams’ Happy, and I ended up playing back a good deal of the 24-hour video. If we were in sunnier climes, I probably would have gone out dancing in the street.
On the 19th of December, 2013, the Finance Minister appeared before the House Committee on Finance and played to the gallery, garnering sympathy from many, until another video appeared to show she was far from saintly or proper in her conduct. This is a view I always held but did not blog about until this video was made public.
It is a prayer and a desire because until now I have acted in haste and suffered in waste long afterwards.
I have not written about my therapy sessions, and I’ve had a few of those; change is on the way, it sure is.
NAFDAC withdrew all the drugs manufactured by one company nationwide, replacing them with drugs that hopefully will arrest the decline in health brought on by the usage of poorly manufactured drugs.
Some viewpoints
The theme this week is life and perspectives from a hospital ward, gender equality, strikes, persistence, blogging, Twitter and the education emergency in Nigeria.
Here, for your pleasure, are all 5 weeks of Decade Blogs, 35 of them from wonderful people and amazing writers.
To everyone who has honoured me in finding the time to write for #YourBlogOnMyBlog, my thanks and more. I might find the words of appreciation and gratitude, eventually, and they would still not be enough.
Decade Blogs – Week 5
Decade Blogs – Week 4
Decade Blogs – Week 3
Decade Blogs – Week 2
Decade Blogs – Week 1