Adopting a healthy work regime after illness

Managing oneself back to work

My return to work after extended sick leave, was not structured or phased, because I did not plunge straight back into the work activities before my leave. Considering I worked through my radiotherapy treatment and for a month afterwards, despite the fatigue and sometimes-overwhelming side effects, I put in the hours, the time, and the effort to meet my obligations.

However, there was a point when I needed more support beyond living alone at home, along with a proper rest period to really recover. This led me to undertake the long journey to Cape Town for the care Brian could provide that was beneficial for my recovery.

I eventually spoke with an occupational health professional, who suggested we adjust the work schedule on the parameters of volume, pace, and complexity. I was comfortable with handling complexity; I was ready for that challenge. However, managing volume and pace was something I had to learn through engagement.

Handling pressure before feeling overwhelmed

Implicit in this approach was a sense of pressure; the way urgencies, priorities, and dependencies demanded more from me to meet deadlines, often without the usual flexibility that would involve discussing the reasonableness with relevant stakeholders.

There was one occasion when an architect, discovering that a crucial piece of work—on which the entire deployment depended—had fallen through the cracks, suddenly created a lot of pressure on me, with the message that everything would pause if I didn't find a solution.

At that moment, I felt like a giant had stepped on my chest, making it hard to breathe. Recognising this reaction, I pushed back at once, saying that we would proceed methodically, and I would not shoulder the pressure caused by this oversight.

At that time, I informed my line manager, not seeking support, but making him aware that the whole issue could escalate because of my resistance to quick fixes.

This architect then committed a clear faux pas by suggesting he entertain my concerns because he didn't want me to cut corners. That was a stance I was never going to let slip. I don’t cut corners; I am a 37-year IT professional. No one at the conference dared intervene; the message was crystal clear.

Maintaining control on your own terms

With the space and time, I was able to find the right elements needed to resolve the problem, and we implemented a solution within 90 minutes. Exercising autonomy without letting pace be dictated by either my own failings or others’ is essential.

Despite modulating elements of my return to work, I find myself in the office for 9 to 12 hours, sometimes more. I tend to get absorbed in a situation, aiming to resolve, manage, or finish the task before I leave for home.

This occurs alongside lingering side effects such as urinary incontinence, bowel urgency, and nightly insomnia. The insomnia, I manage by sleeping as much as I can on weekends. Things are not perfect, but I am finding better ways to cope than before.

In terms of occupational health, I simply wanted awareness about side effects, fatigue, and hospital appointments. Beyond that, I believe I am meeting and surpassing my aims and goals, but I also need to be smart about it.

Thought Picnic: Being here for yourself

All that show

Coming from my left side crossing the road, he began running in front of me to what intent I could not determine. I felt like saying to him, “Dude, I am already in the 8^th kilometre of my walk and on my way home.”

I move at my own pace, with lots of people running past me and into the horizon by the time I have blinked twice. There are people who walk faster than I can, and they are not exercising, they are strolling along and what has that to do with me?

Steady I go

My pace works for me and the benefits of what I do for myself will be noticed on me rather than on other people. I am usually into my 5^th or 6^th kilometre before I meet anyone, I can exchange a greeting with, in the mornings, I am left to my own thoughts most of the time and the riverside sounds of nature.

It reminds me of when I arrived at the Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro to see a junior of mine from secondary school, in fact, the first I exercised seniority rights on, he was in the final year, whilst I had wasted 5 years before. It probably would have been a testimony of karma for him, but I was not there for him, I was there to find myself, make my mark and thrive, I did.

A wonderful life

I have no idea what he went on to do, but the story it became for me was I was minding my own business, there were times I was ahead and winning, other times I was behind and losing, many times failing woefully, but the sum of it all when put in the ledger of life, I have been blessed beyond measure and have lived an extraordinary life. My story is mine, not for others to be written into it to take away my voice.

The chap who ran ahead of me was soon panting and slowed down to a walk, can I even remember what he looks like? It does not matter, live your life, your truth, on your terms and in your own way. It will come good and in the scheme of things, it can be beautiful, wonderful, successful, joyful, full of love and excellent. You run along, my pace suits me well. Thank you.

It's walking and I'm fine - IX

Putting my back in it

“Four kilometres in the time of 35 minutes and 20 seconds, pace for the last kilometre 8 minutes 42 seconds, heart rate 137 beats per minute.” For my walking exercises, I have had my mobile phone aggregate information hooked to my smartwatch to give me a notification of how I was doing for each kilometre.

I switched it off this morning, having stopped listening to music to take in the sounds of nature that takes me by riverbanks and into verdant parks filled with animal life and beauty, this was becoming both a guilt trip and a distraction. The guilt fed by trying to understand why somehow my pace between kilometres could vary by almost 3 minutes and the distraction from the quiet and the thinking as I walk.

Unnecessary stress, it seems

Two days ago, I was going at such a pace appeared I could get 7 kilometres done in 60 minutes, having heard the readings at the completion of the 6^th kilometre, that 7^th kilometre could be done in 8 minutes 30 seconds, so, I pressed in and my walk became a trot, and I was almost running but it was to no avail, 61 minutes and 10 seconds my mobile phone announced. I was crestfallen.

On reflection I wondered why I was competing against myself; the route is the same at a bit over 11 kilometres, my stride is about 73 centimetres, I have a good mental note of each kilometre point, usually before the 8^th kilometre I will have done 10,000 steps with a buzz from my smartwatch and the pounds or kilogrammes are beginning to shift. The circuit is done in under 110 minutes.

On the matter of pace, after 163 recorded exercises between encouragement and achievement the novelty has worn off. I got home, paused and stopped the workout and read the results, it did not seem that different from my typical walks, though with 21 seconds on average added to the kilometre but not something to beat myself up about. I feel fine.

Back to some discipline

Out to walk at dawn

I was a bit of an early riser this morning, being awake just before 6:00 AM, I thought I might just put in the walk and I last got up at that time to perform my walking exercise in the first week of December and holding off for the days before my travel to South Africa, shielding myself to forestall an adverse test result that could scupper my travel plans.

Getting into my kit, with a high-visibility vest and LED armbands, I was out on the road but had to have my hood up because there was a light drizzle, at 4⁰ Celsius, it was best to wear my winter gloves and off I went. I usually can’t understand how I feel I am maintaining the same pace and steps cadence yet could have up to a difference of over 2 minutes per kilometre.

Pace to the familiar

My average is around a 9-minutes kilometre, though I did get in a 7-minute 2-second kilometre on the home straight, that was quite unusual, I had not done anything close to that in months. The fact that for the 11.56 kilometres I walked, I never stopped apart from when I had a short conversation with the lady and her male companion who is out each morning feeding the birds. We had not seen each other for 4 months.

Another regular morning walker is the friendly man and his two dogs, one always on the leash and the other named Tilly excitedly running into my path whenever she sees me. However, today, they had crossed the main road and we acknowledged each other with a wave. I might well return to the early morning walks, there is enough light at that time to do a good circuit. By 15,559 steps, there was a good sweat, a bit of panting, but seeing the effects will take a little longer.