Managing oneself back
to work
My return to work
after extended sick leave, was not structured or phased, because I did not
plunge straight back into the work activities before my leave. Considering I
worked through my radiotherapy treatment and for a month afterwards, despite the
fatigue and sometimes-overwhelming side effects, I put in the hours, the time,
and the effort to meet my obligations.
However, there was a
point when I needed more support beyond living alone at home, along with a
proper rest period to really recover. This led me to undertake the long journey
to Cape Town for the care Brian could provide that was beneficial for my
recovery.
I eventually spoke
with an occupational health professional, who suggested we adjust the work
schedule on the parameters of volume, pace, and complexity. I was comfortable
with handling complexity; I was ready for that challenge. However, managing
volume and pace was something I had to learn through engagement.
Handling pressure
before feeling overwhelmed
Implicit in this
approach was a sense of pressure; the way urgencies, priorities, and
dependencies demanded more from me to meet deadlines, often without the usual
flexibility that would involve discussing the reasonableness with relevant
stakeholders.
There was one
occasion when an architect, discovering that a crucial piece of work—on which
the entire deployment depended—had fallen through the cracks, suddenly created
a lot of pressure on me, with the message that everything would pause if I
didn't find a solution.
At that moment, I
felt like a giant had stepped on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
Recognising this reaction, I pushed back at once, saying that we would proceed
methodically, and I would not shoulder the pressure caused by this oversight.
At that time, I
informed my line manager, not seeking support, but making him aware that the
whole issue could escalate because of my resistance to quick fixes.
This architect then
committed a clear faux pas by suggesting he entertain my concerns because he
didn't want me to cut corners. That was a stance I was never going to let slip.
I don’t cut corners; I am a 37-year IT professional. No one at the conference
dared intervene; the message was crystal clear.
Maintaining control
on your own terms
With the space and
time, I was able to find the right elements needed to resolve the problem, and
we implemented a solution within 90 minutes. Exercising autonomy without
letting pace be dictated by either my own failings or others’ is essential.
Despite modulating
elements of my return to work, I find myself in the office for 9 to 12 hours,
sometimes more. I tend to get absorbed in a situation, aiming to resolve,
manage, or finish the task before I leave for home.
This occurs alongside
lingering side effects such as urinary incontinence, bowel urgency, and nightly
insomnia. The insomnia, I manage by sleeping as much as I can on weekends.
Things are not perfect, but I am finding better ways to cope than before.
In terms of
occupational health, I simply wanted awareness about side effects, fatigue, and
hospital appointments. Beyond that, I believe I am meeting and surpassing my
aims and goals, but I also need to be smart about it.
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