Time always matters.
In the passage of
time lies the recognition of many things: living, living well, and the joy of
living. This is true despite, and in spite of, other issues such as adversity,
disappointment, unfulfilled yearnings, betrayals, and episodes of diagnoses that
lay bare our vulnerability and mortality.
I count my blessings
and celebrate each day as an opportunity to enjoy and behold the goodness in
people, ideas, and places. Having the strength and means to do so places us
among the privileged in ways we often fail to appreciate.
I rarely consider
myself lucky; I am more inclined to think of myself as fortunate, not by my own
doing or ability, but by mercy and grace. I can only express my gratitude that
each day brings opportunity and ease, ample ability, and extraordinary capacity.
The extent of our
imagination and vision defines our limitations; we can only exceed them through
inspiration and revelation. The scope of our influence can be limitless, but
until we believe it and are convinced of that possibility, we resemble chickens
seeking the perspective of eagles.
Once you know, you
know.
A year ago today, I
was reading hospital notes from the consultant I had seen the day before, and
in an instant, I became a victim of computerization without appropriate human
oversight.
A diagnosis that I
should never have learnt about before meeting the responsible consultant
appeared in my records and was something the consultant I visited the day
before should have reviewed before posting.
That is how I
unwittingly discovered the diagnosis of adenocarcinoma of the prostate. A year
is quite a long time when it comes to a cancer diagnosis, as you are left
wondering what it entails, if it is treatable, how you will tolerate the
treatment once you have decided on whatever course is available, and the
aftereffects of that ordeal.
Giving thanks always.
I was not prepared
for a second diagnosis of cancer, but when it came, I encouraged myself with
words and sermons about healing and living, seeing beyond adversity, and
leaving no room for discouragement, regardless of the prospects ahead.
Obviously, some eight
months after completing radical radiotherapy, some lingering side effects
remain; my voice is light, high, and sometimes sounds quite tired, but in
myself, as Brian would typically enquire, I am doing fine. All thanks to God,
my partner, my friends, my colleagues, the teams of medical personnel striving
for the best outcomes, and that earnest desire to tell a better story.
This puts everything
into perspective; each day is a blessing.
Blog - Photons on the Prostate - XVIV - I Just Can't Wait
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