Saturday 3 April 2010

A message to my children yet unborn

They want for what I don’t
For some people it is probably very bad news, in my case, it might just keep me out of trouble.
Each time I talk to my loved ones there is this expectancy for procreation, the need to carry the family name forward which fortunately is being sired with excellence by my brother without any quibbles from me.
Somehow, there are people who think my happiness would be so fulfilled when I become a father or in other cases I have to daintily sidestep the clamour for “regular” relationships which some people just think would work out because they are supposed to.
A life without a wife
My recent illness has made it all the more a bugbear, how wonderful it would have been to have a wife said he for times when one cannot help oneself – well, how wonderful indeed but that just does not happen to be my life.
To have a prospect of marriage to any selected person depicted as a necessary evil just makes one revolt against the evil and attack the need to have any evil necessary in ones life.
Suddenly, one has some information to put paid to this matter, maybe my specialist really should have discussed this with me before recommending the treatment I received but at the time the most important thing for me was getting well not getting hitched.
At 44, surely if that was something I was so interested in, I would definitely have done it just as I do not see my not being able to drive the most enfeebling handicap to have befallen my most fortunate soul.
Chemotherapy stops multiplication
So, having decided not to conform to the norm by living a life too painful for my comfort and debilitating for the person who is made to suffer the partnership for the sake of pleasing others, this piece of news is so welcome that it might well buy me some peace on the subject other people cannot seem to leave alone.
It is really the last bit of stress I need on my mind, apparently, the course of chemotherapy I had does radically impair fertility and there is a possibility that I may not be able to sire children.
No, I do not cry, neither do I jump in elation but I will not start running round clinics looking for signs of extraterrestrial life in my sperm and committing another person’s life to the anxiety of a rapidly ticking biological clock.
To Mini-me
The message to my children yet unborn is do not queue up in my docket for your visa into earth, the border control office does not exist and no plans are being made to create one for that purpose.
The fact is, I do not want children, I do not need children and basically the knowledge that I may not be able to produce children might just put paid to all the influences and inferences that endlessly bother me.
If I did have a garden like this seasonal time offers, I know the cup from which I would drink to stay in the life in which I have so become accustomed and love.

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