Sunday 1 April 2007

Not any Joseph will do

Hit me again

Yes, the masochist in me was sentenced to watching the first few minutes of Any Dream Will Do and it became clear that the audio mugging I was receiving made the aural version of the Spanish Inquisition sound like nursery rhymes.

The soppy supportive guardians, or even parents who would call a droopy faced talentless half-trick dog a genius, almost made me shed a tear, albeit in recognition of love and somewhere near disgust; well, one needs encouragement from somewhere, but really, it has to be objective and truly sincere, blood-ties apart.

By the time the show ran for 10 minutes, I had had it, the wailing, caterwauling, screaming and crescendos like meteors whistling through the wind to create utter destruction. At one time, it was like a banshee's convention, but like a dark night sky, some stars began to twinkle from the depth of the large dark mass of the universe of deluded people who had convinced themselves beyond their safety.

A tall order

Maybe, they should have heard what Baron Lloyd-Webber was looking for, a cross between Justin Timberlake and Michael Jackson, when Michael Jackson's talent was so annoyingly in-your-face genius, critics committed suicide if they could not see the raw talent.

Many who appeared at the auditions should really keep their day jobs, it takes years of meticulous determined planning to make a career, these lotteries of the Pool of Bethesda where the crippled would never get in the water after an angel stirring are games of chance at first, but really, this requires serious talent, a good deal of money is going into this stuff and the discerning paying public would not be thinking of amateur dramatics.

Bellow of the bellows

In fact, one can see that the reality show format does help to introduce the performer to the public over 4 months and hence he would not be a complete unknown at the end, but the many who have made fools of themselves would have give us entertainment that consists of a cringe and a laugh.

Lungs are an essential organ for voice and singing as they feed the vocal cords to make sound, but I thought some lungs might have a more fulfilled calling in an ironmonger's shop as bellows to heat the forge and mercifully bellow to call out about the din of the shop.

I would now just watch this for reviews and probably the final when some talent might just be evident, but like the Baron said - Not any Joseph will do. My ears need a rest.

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