Count Binface and The Farce That Defines Us

A Comical Contender

Count Binface might seem comical or ridiculous to you, but in my view he is a send-up of the farce that sometimes defines British life and politics. That he had to give up the aristocratic title of Lord Buckethead for the more continental title of count was an unfortunate result of a humourless copyright dispute.

Count Binface courtesy of countbinface.com

A popular figure in significant elections, contesting against sitting prime ministers in their constituencies, standing in the London Mayoral elections, and more recently in the Makerfield by-election, the count has emerged as the only candidate who will stand against Nigel Farage in the Clacton by-election, a contest that hinges on Mr Farage first being appointed to the position of Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds.

Update for 10^th July 2026

Nigel Farage has since been appointed to the office of Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead, an alternate position created for handling the departure of an MP from the House of Commons, so the by-election goes ahead.

Death, disqualification and expulsion are the only means by which a member’s seat may be vacated during the lifetime of a Parliament. [UK Parliament]

An Ancient Escape Route

That appointment is an ancient office, one that serves as a legal fiction to handle the departure of an MP from the House of Commons; under a resolution of 1624, it is illegal for an MP to resign or wilfully give up their seat. The appointment is approved by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and there is every likelihood that Mr Farage will not be permitted to resign until the parliamentary regulator on standards in office has reported its findings.

Nigel Farage announced on Tuesday his intention to resign and trigger a by-election in which he would run again, seeking to escape or forestall the parliamentary sanction he was likely to receive for failing to declare properly some of the various streams of finance and payments he has received from the year before he became an MP to the present day.

Dementors in Politics

While Nigel Farage purports to speak for the people of Clacton, he is, in effect, a dementor who feeds on human happiness and joy, leaving those he represents to relive their worst memories; Brexit is a case in point for the people of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

He is not alone in this cohort of depraved malevolence, for he attempts to re-enact tropes from the playbook of Donald Trump, no less a dementor of the worst kind. The Americans have offered a recent illustration of just how this dementor operates.

The FIFA Fiasco

With the FIFA World Cup hosted in the United States, Canada, and Mexico, the president persuaded FIFA to rescind a red card given to the American star striker. This unfortunate development brought unnecessary focus and opprobrium upon everything representative of the United States, tarring FIFA with the deserved taint of corruption, while giving Belgium the impetus to trash the United States 4-1.

That intervention sucked the spirit, resolve, and ability out of the US Men's National Team, so that whatever wherewithal they might have had to make an appearance was served back to them as just deserts for choosing exception over acquiescence to the rules of sportsmanship, fairness, and good conduct in football.

A Serious Manifesto

Count Binface should not be dismissed as laughable, yet his manifesto has included punishments for the public use of speakerphones, the return of 99p Flake ice creams, the restoration of the BBC Ceefax service, a cap on the price of croissants, the linking of ministers' pay to nurses' salaries, the building of at least one affordable house, the nationalisation of Adele, and the moving of the hand dryer in the gents' toilet at the Crown and Treaty pub in Uxbridge to "a more sensible position". [The Tab: Everything to know about Count Binface, the ‘space warrior’ standing against Nigel Farage]

These are serious issues that have garnered votes from serious people, and the odds of Count Binface winning against Nigel Farage present the kind of likelihood that inspired the British public to vote for Boaty McBoatface as the name of a £200m polar research vessel.

The Dustbin of History

If Nigel Farage's political career is consigned to the dustbin of history in his defeat to Count Binface, after a lifetime of pretending to represent people he has deluded and exploited with half-truths, conspiracy theories, and simple solutions to complex problems, no better story could have been written of British politics since the bulb of lettuce outlasted Liz Truss's premiership.

In his quest to escape accountability, after intense scrutiny of his financial arrangements, his ignominious undoing would come in the farcical match-up with Count Binface. He could then return to his grift, never to appear on our screens again except as a pantomime character, a parody of hubris shipwrecked on utter humiliation. I endorse Count Binface.

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The UK: My thoughts are with David Laws

One revelation and a story

I have just read with sadness the resignation of David Laws the coalition Secretary to the Treasury on the matter of claiming expenses for accommodation on the premises of his partner.

The unfortunate consequence is that Mr. Laws has inadvertently been outed as gay in a long-term relationship with the man purported to have been his landlord.

There are many angles of looking at this story but the one that most draws my sympathy is that Mr. Laws who is just a month older than I am had settled into the convenience of being in the closet as a single man in public office without any of his close relations knowing of this secret affair – however, it is all now exposed and ones thoughts are prayers are with all concerned.

An ambiguous rule of life

Obviously the commons rules about claiming accommodation expenses require that claimants do not do so when with partners, relations or business associates.

Technically, if Mr. Laws had not declared his residence in plush Kensington to the West of London people might have said there are a quid pro quo scenario developing leaving a Member of Parliament open to influence, his claiming expenses however has lead to this rather human tragedy of sorts from which I do hope he does recover well.

The nation has lost a smart and possibly very able minister to scandals and the plural is deliberate – the scandal that prevents people from being confident of acceptance as gay if they should so choose to declare that fact, the scandal of claiming expenses whilst living with one’s partner even though there is no legal or common law basic for same-sex relationships in the UK except where a civil partnership has been entered into and the scandal of newspapers that have no compunction in exposing anything that would help sell their copy.

The Daily Telegraph has averred that it had no intention of outing Mr. Laws but there is no way that story would have made any news without that consequence as part of its sensational import and interest.

Politicians are not saints

I do not believe that our politicians should be subject to the kinds of moral standards we should expect of the clergy, they are not saints, they are people like you and I who have offered to serve our country in whatever capacity they have been elected and selected to serve.

This would obviously not encourage capable and competent but seemingly flawed people to enter politics for the fear of being mauled by the rabid dogs of the press pretending to be cuddly kittens.

It reminds me of the resignation of Lord John Browne from the chairmanship of BP when in trying to conceal the matter of his sexuality he perjured himself and was vilified for perjury despite the more personal issue at stake.

Acceptance is not a given, even in the West

There is no doubt that even though the middle-classes in the general sense might have the liberality of accepting and tolerating homosexuality, those with influence and in authority, politics or even international sports are not that at ease with revealing who they truly are – it leaves them prone to blackmail and possibly ignominy – the saddest case of those consequences of declaring ones sexuality can only have one looking at how that revelation lead to Justin Fashanu’s suicide in an abandoned garage in East London.

The fear of rejection looms large, more so the threat of homophobia which has not been eradicated even from Western societies and the misfortune that might accompany being disowned by loved and trusted ones – it is not an easy life and our humanity is the poorer for how difference stops people from being the best they could ever be by first being truly themselves.

Sources

BBC News - Treasury Minister David Laws resigns over expenses

Other references

Lies - Between human frailty and the law [akin.blog-city.com]

Obituary: Justin Fashanu - Obituaries, News - The Independent

The UK: The evidence for radical electoral reform

A difficult poll

Even the mother of all parliaments and one of the world’s oldest democracies is fraught with problems, issues and irregularities.

Yesterday, the citizens of United Kingdom of Northern Ireland and Great Britain went to the polls to elect representatives for their parliament called the House of Commons, however, the people did not give a clear majority mandate to any one political party and with that comes what is know as a hung parliament.

Sadly, there are people who did not get to vote because of the poor logistics of not anticipating the possible turnout such that there were long queues and polls had to close at 22:00 hours leaving hundreds disenfranchised.

Certain councils catered for students quite differently from residents even though all were selecting representatives whose work would affect them locally and nationally – there is no doubt that the system is broken.

Change and reform required

Balloting has to move from papers but electronic ballots must have a paper trail for verification and confidence in the system and there should be more flexibility to extend times of the polls if voters have arrived at polling stations before the deadline.



The most disturbing part of this election is the discrepancy between votes cast and seats won – the leading party polled 36.1% of the votes and will take 47.2% of the seats whilst the third party which polled 23% of the votes 8.8% of the seats.

This is manifestly wrong and does not reflect the clear and express wishes of the electorate; it calls for a radical reform of how our votes are translated to representation with a proper correlation between votes and the acquisition of power.

An expired system

The first-past-the-post system might have worked for past but there is no way how this can be the system for the 21st Century.

Today the Liberal Democrats have the opportunity to demand a change that allows for the people have their wishes fully expressed when they form a coalition with whatever party can garner the support and will to run the country after this election.

Dividends of democracy

In the graphic that shows the rewards of proportional representation, the UK Independence Party and the British National Party weigh in with a possible 32 Members of Parliament between them.

Whilst they constitute a right-wing of almost unsavoury politics, the people who voted for them are part of our democracy and as I did say in comments I made on Facebook, having these parties with representation in the House of Commons is enough a price to pay to ensure that the voice of the majority is heard loud and clear.

All the dividends of a democracy cannot all be profitable but any other system that takes better account of the percentage of votes polled nationally must be better than what we have now – electoral reform is inevitable, the people must demand it and get it.

The UK: I endorse democratic reform

How does your vote count?

For the very first time in a very long time, the elections in the United Kingdom have been gripping, everyone has been offering a message of change but the real change required has not received the airing required.

The parliamentary system in the UK makes politics very local rather than national, you vote for a representative of your constituency who happens to be a member of one of the established political parties and the party with the most representatives has its leader crowned the Prime Minister.

There are ways in which the party leader is the charismatic face of your local representative who might not even be local but parachuted in to represent the party to the people – there, if any of the contestants has a track record in that locality, it is possible that a political upset might arise.

Change from ideology

However, it appears voting intentions might have moved on from political fastidiousness and ideology, personalities might matter and policies are interesting but the force of mandate sometimes allows for legislation that we would never have wanted if we had the choice.

The economy, immigration and public services have been given all sorts of glosses and opinions but no one party seems to have all the answers that would really work for the national as a whole – we need a system that allows for the best people to be called into the service in these tough times regardless of party affiliation.

You have to be a member of parliament (MP) to be a minister of the crown and thereby you are accountable to the House of Commons, however, if you are not an MP, you have to be bumped up to the House of Lords and in some ways, you are beyond accountability to the elected chamber.

The choices are not people

For the first time, there is a possibility that two men younger than I am will take the reins of government, the likelihood is that David Cameron of the Conservative Party will be Prime Minister – after 5 years as Leader of the Opposition, he is hardly representative of change – but he will be a change from 13 years of Labour government.

Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats the usually third party was an absolutely fresh face especially after the Leaders’ debates and I think he won 2 of those three debates – what was refreshing was he addressed the questions, engaged the people and spoke sensibly. He had not become a sloganeering beacon of clichéd sound bites that seemed to sound profound but had no substance.

Gordon Brown comes with baggage, much from the way Labour was swept to power in 1997 through the economic prosperity to the crisis and humongous deficit that the UK now has. He does have experience of leadership that others do not have, but one wonders if he holds the keys to a greater future for the UK.

Democratic reform is what I want

I have no man to endorse of the ones we have to choose from but I endorse radical electoral reform – one that allows for votes to count both locally and nationally, one that moves us from the silos of political ideology to better considerations for all options that might be presented for the good of the people and one that is centred on progress that allows the unity of all talents as war cabinet with representatives of all major parties.

This electoral reform can only come from forcing cooperation between the parties by the strength of the numbers that they poll, their popular support rather than their number of MPs, for instance the Labour Party took a parliamentary majority with just about 35% of the vote in the last election.

That was hardly representative of the 65% that did not vote for the Labour Party but they have held power with an assumedly strong mandate for 5 full years.

Change comes with the Liberal Democrats

Honestly, a strong turnout for the Liberal Democrats holds the key to better electoral representation because it would force reform where we need it in representation, in purpose and in accountability; it is that once in a lifetime for the people to demand and get change in democratic reform.

The Conservatives and the Labour Party benefit disproportionately from the status quo without carrying the full resolve of the majority and the real intentions of the people, for once, a hung parliament might well force the agenda in the direction of what is good for the people at home and abroad and this is why I endorse democratic reform – by consequence it comes by giving the Liberal Democrats your vote.