The benefit of naught

Seeing beyond the plain offer

What looks like an offer may not necessarily have a benefit, as there can be many variables at play to determine if, in the immediate term, the situation might have some credible participation. In the same terms, a bargain, attractive as it may seem, is also perverse; in that, it presents an opportunity to acquire either what you do not need or more than you need.

The utility of that acquisition is elastic, as it might give you the benefit of longer use or better facility, much as acquiring excess beyond what you need can lead to waste. The balance between the durable and the perishable is somewhat lost as consumption might be sped up or storage presages the loss of quality and usability.

Not all offers should be grabbed and taken advantage of, just as a bargain might not be of any benefit to you as it is to those offering the bargain to shift stuff or get more footfall. To paraphrase an old sales dictum, if you are not paying the going and full price of an offer or a bargain on a product, you have become part of the product.

Thought Picnic: How our filters stymie our options

Nothing is for certain

Some things get me thinking about how we have great expectations for encounters in chance situations, setting up stringent requirements to be met, passed on as preferences that invariably lead to disappointment when the options we are presented with give us no choices to select from.

Much as we delude ourselves with the idea that we are open-minded and liberal, in practical terms, we are usually more conservative than would admit to ourselves about what we call preferences. The self-aggrandised level of myopia we select and live with eventually deprives us of the broader landscape of beauty that is laid before us.

Not everyone wins

Too many times, we behave like prospectors at a gold rush, highly optimistic that there is a fortune to be found, ready to till and turn the dirt for that elusive gem and coming up empty-handed after a long day of toil. Yet, we are undeterred hoping that the next day, or the next, or the one after would present in the eventuality that goal for which we might end all toil and witness a different outcome.

Over time, reality sets in that not all of us would be lucky, some might find a gem or two but the rest would steadily be approached by disillusionment as the steady erosion of optimism gives way to a truth we have batted away from the onset. That we arrived with bluster, we may not leave in a cluster, but at a point in stealth, we carry our story back to whence we came either to keep a new found grasp of reality or wait for another dreamy adventure to naught.

Experience teaches hard lessons

I see this is too many places in the quest for the many things that we seek to give life a sense of meaning and being, in career searches, in the need for companionship, or just the momentary fulfilment of lust, and there are many gold rush mines we can visit for which our desires and curiosity would never be sated.

One of life’s greatest lessons is one of contentment, an appreciation of what you have as opposed to what you desire or want, knowing from immemorial that you have a bird in hand rather than the two in the bush, or to paraphrase another saying, if you cannot have what you want; love what you already have.

Appreciate what you have got

Indeed, I need to constantly reassess my priorities and appreciate the many blessings that surround me daily, in the love of my life and our ultimate desire to set up home together. Whilst I would love things to be easier, that easier option may not materialise and we would have to make the best of what we have got for we are not in an impossible situation, we are just somewhere between the dream and the reality that would set things in motion for the next stage of our lives.

Sometimes, I have slapped myself on the cheek to clear my vision, a kind of reset that is usually not as necessary as it seems, if you have given yourself to some reflection and introspection. I have a clear idea of where I want to be, I just need to work at getting there sooner rather than later. Take down the filters and see things as they are, then in the clarity of that vision and perspective do not let the perfect get in the way of the good that you end up with nothing at all.

Be circumspect and realistic with your expectations such that you can manage your disappointments beyond disillusionment, you yourself the instruments of hope that can see beyond the mountain ranges that appear to make your journey an impossible quest to new accomplishments.

Coronavirus streets on Easter Sunday - LXV

Easter Sunday for church

I had all the determination for attending church on Easter Sunday even if I did nothing else, in my mind I had decided on what to wear along with how it would be accessorised to be noticeably different and striking, as one is wont to do because there is rarely the occasion to dress up anymore.

I also remembered that Easter Sunday is one of those Sundays when the major shops and shopping precincts are not open, so, I expected a rather uneventful walk to church even as the weather appeared to present the glory of a fine day to come.

Like the Easter Sunday last year, the church was brimming with activity with most of the seating taken up down the middle and to the sides. I took a seat to the east side facing the altar with a view of that and the pulpit, just as the organist began the fanfare before the processional hymn.

Are we there yet?

One could see that with the relaxation of pandemic restrictions, not many had adhered to the requirement that we all don face masks or coverings as much as possible. The cathedral announced through the dean that we were for the first time in over two years going to have the full Communion with the serving of the bread and the wine, but no dipping of the bread in the wine.

For giving each other the sign of peace, a majority still refrained from shaking hands, preferring to clasp hands and bow, or just wave to fellow congregants. During the offertory hymn, we also had the collection basket passed around. A return to some sort of normalcy had begun even with the reticence of many.

Everything with wisdom and caution

I passed on having the wine for Communion as did others that I observed, I guess we are not yet at the stage of cocking a snook at COVID-19. It is still out there, and my neighbour had just recovered from it. The canon who preached was delivering his last homily before retirement at the end of this month.

As to the atmosphere, it was electric, the singing heavenly, and the crowd warm, if not exuberant. Then, everywhere in the cathedral was open for the first time after the pandemic lockdowns began. We pray for God’s protection and safety as the times change. Viewing from Bulawayo too was Brian, it is a comfort to know he was there in spirit. Happy Easter break.

The unquantified cost of replacement

Price versus value

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray.

There is a tendency to view the quote above in terms of materialism alone, but I have been thinking for over a year of a perspective of value that some might consider, the cost of replacement.

Whilst this scenario could be extreme in its application, it best represents the discourse I am put on this blog. I bought some wines from South Africa a few years ago, most particularly South African port wine referred to as Cape Ruby. My intention was to present these as gifts to certain important people in my healthcare history, when I next saw them, with the view that the rarity and exclusivity would redound to my greater sense of appreciation and thanks.

Downed and out completely

However, that wine collection was decimated and quaffed down without my permission, the person thought if they left one of each on the wine rack, that would be fine. But, herein is my dilemma, the wine is not available in our shops and not on order. I had to visit the wine estate in South Africa to replace the wine and that was put off by 11 months because of the pandemic. This is considering I was in South Africa four times in 2019.

When I finally got to South Africa in December 2020, the country went into lockdown with an alcohol ban, so that was a missed opportunity. Another 11 months of pandemic restrictions ensued before I jetted off to our rendezvous in Cape Town, we immediately booked a wine tour and on arrival at the muster point, we learnt that our favourite wine estate had been acquired and its inventory was being moved to another location.

Invariably, there is no indication if I would ever again get my hands on the now more exclusive, if not elusive Backsberg Cape Ruby [PDF], which I have now determined has been discontinued. Basically, the replacement cost is now astronomically high, if not impossible to meet due to scarcity and circumstances beyond my control.

An escalating cost

I now appreciate the fuller value of what I have lost, not just based on the nominal cost, but in the passage of two years, the pandemic, and the discontinuation of the wine that the person who drank my wine cannot begin to understand. It breeds resentment and much regret at the kind of access I have granted them.

Even if they paid a premium for the Backsberg Cape Ruby, I cannot replace it, and that is the enduring annoyance in this matter. We may never recognise the full value of acquisition if we do not know the possibly considerable cost of replacement. It is a thieves’ mentality, the penchant for wanting for themselves without any consideration for others to the extent that armed robbers would maim and kill to steal material things as they place no value on life or property for their own ends.

Blog: In Nigeria, we've lost to all of them

To mitigate this, the lesson I took was to make provision for locally available wines whilst prohibiting drinking any of the South African wines though I might have considered putting them in some storage at additional costs to myself.

The cost is that of replacement

In the scheme of things, there are other privations for things I acquired for my personal use that have been squandered and lost to this lack of consideration. As one cannot predict availability, people should think before they use or abuse things, they either do not own or have not received the express permission to take.

The price of everything is easy to know and pay for, the value of that thing can however change due to various situations and circumstances, some not predictable and usually not accessible until the need to replace that thing, and it is not available. Indeed, I feel quite resentful about it.

In the solitude of the solitary

It is just me

It is the silence, the quiet stillness in a place of solitude in the company of just oneself that you find a spectrum of just wanting to be alone and the dread of loneliness. Your thoughts oscillating without any uniformity between a desirous need and an acceptance of lack, it could be disconcerting.

This long weekend presents that very scenario where at one time there was the prospect of receiving guests that was postponed to the next month, at the one time you feel you should jump on a train just to feel the energy of a crowd from afar, the sight of strangers with some purpose giving you a signal that you still exist even if you are not noticed.

It is just so

Then, there is lethargy, an overwhelming sense of inertia, where normalcy is not entirely so, as at least you are somewhat engaged even if you are working from home, but presently you are not. The curtains remain as they always were, undrawn that the outside is a mystery when asked about the weather.

For one Miss Havisham and I can be soulmates on the same voyage, though mine is not out of misery or disappointment and the clocks have not been stopped. It may not be out of commission, quite likely one of omission, as I just allow things to be as they are and trundle on.

I could do some cooking, but it is a table set for one, I could watch television, but the discussion goes on in my mind, I might read something, and the recognition is mine alone, or listen to something on the radio to be taken to a place of nostalgia and new meaning.

It is just there

What I have been blessed with, though I am given the joy of communication, but I cannot use fully for the distance between us. I have to trust myself that I am fine, though I found out at one time that it could mess with my head and set my emotions in flux, I hope I get my funk sorted long before that which warms my heart presents.

For now, I sail, a lonely mariner on a boat in storms, keenly aware of where I am going, but unsure of when I would arrive. An albatross perches on the mast to indicate, I might have a long way to go, but the winds are in my favour, and I should soon reach a safe harbour and that is where I am heading.

Thought Picnic: On these sententious Nigerian streets

Skeletons on the streets

I have watched aghast, disappointed but probably not too surprised a series of exposés about rotten corporate leadership, workplace abuse, untrammelled impunity, corporate malfeasance, domestic violence, and generally reprehensible conduct that leaves one gasping in astonishment.

Whilst I do not intend to revisit any of the issues, I have noticed that the concept of a moral compass is totally missing from the biases that emerge from the sides and neutrality of those who are either invested in the situation or cannot hold their counsel for the need of notoriety or to exacerbate the situation for their continued entertainment.

Private misdeeds revealed

What is more galling is the vaunted public morality and uprightness of the persons involved as juxtaposed with the private atrocities and mendaciousness of the same people. A total lack of integrity and character with the feeling that they are inviolable, infallible, and untouchable by reason of the means they have and the influence they can peddle.

However, social media democratises even if not for the best, the information space, but with the way things are, someone somewhere needs to keep us honest even if the methods and means are not to our liking. If those with means, power, or status cannot find in themselves the necessary controls to demonstrate good virtues whether under observation or not, then, some external feature needs to engage their minds to redress the situation.

It might well be that such people need to step back from the public coalface for a time of reflection towards possible redemption, if possible and that after contrition and genuine apology, along with restitution to set things right.

Messing more with the mess

Besides, the sententiousness of the commentariat leaves much to be desired, in the excusing of the inexcusable or the defending the indefensible, the absence of a frame of reference that gives regard to humanity and virtue is an astounding thing to behold, with unrelated issues, joined to distract and a penchant for the disingenuous revealing a default for dishonesty, dissembling, and a mockery of anything wholesome or good.

As we are so schooled to respond, deploying the device of argumentum ad populum becomes the refuge of the scoundrel, they appeal to our patriotism or beliefs by trotting out religious texts to find some cover from scrutiny by calling the divine to witness. That you have taken an oath is no guarantee that you would not perjure or suborn. They seek to deflect rather than address and we have seen this many times before.

Fix up or shut up

No one is interested in what you believe, however, if you are the object of scrutiny, it is only right to address in particularity the issues, allegations, or accusations made with simplicity rather than with sophistry and solipsism. We have seen it all before, who are you when no one is watching and as we are not gifted with omniscience to see as the divine sees, you are left to speak for yourself in the language we understand or admit you have been found out and face the consequences of your decisions with a sense of responsibility.

There is a lot more to be said and exposed, they who think they stand should beware lest they fall by reason of the things that come to light that are questionable and below the standard of equity and probity. If your hands are dirty, they will only get washed at a prominent public faucet in an overcrowded Coliseum of the baying mob asking for your head. Selah!

You send me, yes, you do

You send me

I get caught in my thoughts about things I wish and hope for, the dreamy world of thrills and happiness envelops my thinking looking forward to something special and the stuff of wonder, miracles, fortune, and goodness that is love.

I have been consumed by this feeling like no other, even the memory of many loves past all put together does not attain my exhilaration at this, for they all add up to my understanding of what I know and believe I want and need.

The love and companionship that has lit up my world is amazing, and for all my skill with words, I am lost for the ability to express myself as well as I would want to. I know I am in love, and I am loved beyond measure, unconditionally, and so completely. I find myself wondering if I am deserving of all this, then I just go with the flow and feel the glow.

Thank you, Brian, for making all matter, making it make sense, and stealing my heart away to the place where it is nurtured, refreshed, rejuvenated and strengthened. You send me, darling you do, to places where dreams are dreams of realities too few would ever get to live. I’m in clover.