The social beings we are

The needs of I

Recently, I have found myself seeking the succour of different support environments that attend to the many facets of my personality and being. It is a realisation that no one is an island, and I have understood quite well that these are not distractions, but engagements.

Spirituality, as a man of faith, I have been developing my personal fellowship in listening to messages and given to prayer; then besides my Anglican inclinations to which I have given much adherence, I have also sought an evangelical and Pentecostal community to involve myself. The morning for the establishmentarian and the evening for the free-flowing and sometimes unstructured, yet quite edifying fare.

And what matters more

Beyond that, for the mind and sense of well-being, I attend a support group that gathers black men living with HIV, once a month. In a way, I find myself transitioning from the hermit sequestered in my apartment for days, into a reticent and introverted social being. 

It is the strangest feeling that to some I appear to easily strike up a conversation with strangers, yet in these communities if I am not approached, I look like a shrinking Violet with a yearning that I can neither express nor commit to any form of networking.

Then again, I am thankful for these different community and support environments, as they address different needs in the quest towards being a more complete person. However, the situation I need the most is the company, companionship, and embrace of my partner and my lover, in whose daily verbal intercourse I revel and need much more. Everything else would always be secondary to the power of love, the place where two hearts are knit in one and nothing else matters.

In the skein of the lifted

Finding your flock of safety

To be blessed with neighbours,
With whom to share the labours,
When fallen by the wayside,
A Samaritan to turn the tide.

Even as you blindly stumble,
Not to be left in a crumble,
It is the joy of our humanity,
To be present to bear infirmity.

Though we might be careless,
That we find ourselves in darkness,
The struggle becomes a blight,
From which we find no flight.

There is a willing helper able,
To address where you’re unable,
We are never left utterly disabled,
To perish as the lost or fabled.

In the skein of the lifted,
We are quite fully assisted,
Living with no fear of the downturn,
As they crowd with you to return.

As you pray for not yourself alone,
And for those with whom you’re known,
That no day of trouble comes,
To which every one succumbs.

When we all band together,
Whatever be the weather,
We know no one with ever fall,
As we lift the weak to stand tall.

Then I asked ChatGPT to work on the poem, “Please, refine the poem in the context of how we support each other in times of trouble. Do not change the tone and minimise the editing the prose. The first line is the title.” Which one is the original and the revision by ChatGPT?

Supporting Each Other

Blessed are we with neighbours,
Sharing life's labours,
When we fall by the wayside,
A helping hand to turn the tide.

In moments of uncertainty,
We find solace in community,
It's the beauty of our humanity,
To be there in times of infirmity.

Though we may stumble in the dark,
We are never left alone to mark,
A willing heart is always near,
To ease our burdens, wipe away our tear.

In the arms of those who care,
We find strength, we find repair,
Living without fear of the storm,
Together we weather every form.

We pray for each other and ourselves,
For a life without troubles and woes,
And with each other's help and love,
We rise above and stand above.

Together we form a strong flock,
No one left to bear the burden alone,
As we lift and support one another,
No burden too great, no challenge too tall.

NB: The collective noun for a group of wildfowl or geese in flight is a skein, when geese are on the ground, they are a gaggle, and in water, they are a wedge.

In the solitude of the solitary

It is just me

It is the silence, the quiet stillness in a place of solitude in the company of just oneself that you find a spectrum of just wanting to be alone and the dread of loneliness. Your thoughts oscillating without any uniformity between a desirous need and an acceptance of lack, it could be disconcerting.

This long weekend presents that very scenario where at one time there was the prospect of receiving guests that was postponed to the next month, at the one time you feel you should jump on a train just to feel the energy of a crowd from afar, the sight of strangers with some purpose giving you a signal that you still exist even if you are not noticed.

It is just so

Then, there is lethargy, an overwhelming sense of inertia, where normalcy is not entirely so, as at least you are somewhat engaged even if you are working from home, but presently you are not. The curtains remain as they always were, undrawn that the outside is a mystery when asked about the weather.

For one Miss Havisham and I can be soulmates on the same voyage, though mine is not out of misery or disappointment and the clocks have not been stopped. It may not be out of commission, quite likely one of omission, as I just allow things to be as they are and trundle on.

I could do some cooking, but it is a table set for one, I could watch television, but the discussion goes on in my mind, I might read something, and the recognition is mine alone, or listen to something on the radio to be taken to a place of nostalgia and new meaning.

It is just there

What I have been blessed with, though I am given the joy of communication, but I cannot use fully for the distance between us. I have to trust myself that I am fine, though I found out at one time that it could mess with my head and set my emotions in flux, I hope I get my funk sorted long before that which warms my heart presents.

For now, I sail, a lonely mariner on a boat in storms, keenly aware of where I am going, but unsure of when I would arrive. An albatross perches on the mast to indicate, I might have a long way to go, but the winds are in my favour, and I should soon reach a safe harbour and that is where I am heading.

Finding who all matters with

Finding someone special

You get to a point where you begin to realise what matters to you in life. Having done so many things, experienced things to relive and others to forget, priorities and reality begin to fix your perspective.

Nothing excites me more than company and companionship, especially that which emanates from love and a loving relationship. I know I have had the most pleasant and amazing times with a man called Brian. With him, I have glowed more brilliantly than the sun on a cloudless day at noon, all from the inside out.

When love spoke

I found a love that spoke to the deepest parts of me, different as it might be, is significant and completely relevant for us. We have planned to build a life together in societies where we would be free, happy and safe.

These words from Alicia Keys say everything I sometimes cannot find the words to express. Nothing means anything is everything is without him. “Some people want it all, But I don't want nothing at all, If it ain't you, baby, If I ain't got you, baby.”

That is the way I feel, every day and every time with the hope that soon, the pining and longing will be over, and we are together again.

[]

Thought Picnic: The other complements and compliments

The significant others

I have had two significant relationships amongst the many others altogether coming to just about 11 years. The first which was for love lasted 7 years, the second, some 6 years later was out of necessity for companionship.

In chatting to a friend just over a week ago, I reviewed elements of mine in relation to his. In his case, a one-time quite fervent partnership suddenly took an unfortunate turn that in terms affected most of us that knew them, maybe not as much as the parties involved but nonetheless it was quite unsettling.

A love unmade

Then there was one other in-between those two that was intense in its spark but never ignited a fire, it was one where my head was never engaged in the affairs of the heart that it brought much hurt and heartache, we made plans we never saw through, we made promises we never kept and in the end we parted company too long that when I thought to rekindle it, the kindling had gone – death had whisked my love away.

Somehow, that break-up of a relationship that barely existed over a span of 6 years of somewhat unrequited love affected me the most, I had to get well before I had the time to grieve and that took the best part of a year before I made peace with myself and my loss, but for the memories that could have been if we did work at it.

The foibles we suffer

That last relationship was as unequal as they come in background, means and status but it brought with it amazing insight, exposure to things I never before considered important and adventure that brought a smile every time.

We parted company in the pique of unnecessary jealousy, I might have been a tad insensitive but everything I did to convey assurances where the offence was more of the other than myself just seemed to accentuate a sense of lower self-esteem in the other – there wasn’t much we could do.

I have striven to keep the friendship of all those I have met, but it is their prerogative to withdraw their friendship if they so wish, I will not hold it against them – life is just too short to live it in grudge.

Just like that

A year after that break-up, the friendship was rekindled, not for a relationship but just for that good company we once had and it came in very useful when in my greatest time of need, there was help, there was company and there was presence.

However, one evening without notice, the door slammed and it was 8 months before we saw each other again, people can only be what they want to be. I am not perfect and though I have lived a good deal of my life a single man, the much I have learnt about relationships, the need for them and the lack of need for them leaves me with the conviction that they are needed and needed so much.

Definitely maybe

There will be a time when the stories of each relationship will be told in the detail that each deserves from the fleeting to the involved, the ones that connected and the others that brought me to people I will rather not be in company of, all ensconced in my memory where every time we’ve said goodbye I have either died a little or lived a little more.

In the midst of learning much of what I do not want in the next relationship that the list has literally obliterated what I should need in a relationship, the bigger lesson of relationships and companionships that matters to all social beings and has been studied in primates that it got me even more concerned about my singleness is – all good companionships have a complementing and complimenting effect that you can never create for yourself out of singular means or access.

Therein comes my desire to cultivate something new, the reality is, it is not you might think, even I should be allowed an element of mystique whilst matchmakers can keep their matches in the matchbox, I know the kind of fires I want to light. Thank you.

Thought Picnic: Prospects to a company

Exploring a prospect

The difference between mentors and protégé could not be starker as they were corporation men and he, a man in some corporation and many at that.

The regularity of the pay-check as the politics of the firm determined stagnation, promotion, ejection or resignation, the hope for a boss that did not set your blood pressure off to the wrong readings at the risk of shortening your life.

The irregularity of great rewards of risk as your great utility at onset diminishes in significance as problems fall to solutions you proffer and the absence of panic suddenly points you out as too luxurious – a wave of austere angst is the tide that sweeps you back onto the street which becomes the treadmill again.

The talk

Before the last sunset there was a talk, a discussion, a possibility and opportunity, maybe a change to the unusual with the prospect of the interesting.

A deposition like an interview, exchanges that speak of you and who you are, whether the change is good or not, one cannot tell but until explored that land remains undiscovered.

After another sunset one would know if the path is to corporation man or one remains a fireman good for emergencies but never in the garden.

Akin Konsult gets registered in less than 35

Hardly doing business smoothly

Just about a year ago, a report was published about the cost of doing business around the globe from the basic registration of the entity through to getting elements together to make that business function.

The bottleneck impeding the smooth transaction of business registration is the bureaucracy that underpins the system in most cases, but bureaucracies do not have to be all that bad. Properly managed and efficient bureaucracies do exist and function like clockwork.

For instance, with the basic information of being a single man with a salary, a mortgage and no other extraneous liabilities; I file my taxes online from inception to completion in less than 25 minutes, if it takes an hour for anyone else, they must be filing for team.

“Den say” to nothing happening

So, I finally decided to form a company and register one in the Netherlands where I live, the residual Nigerian in me trying to allay concerns about the process immersed myself in asking questions and seeking first-hand information from others.

I sunk into the “den say” complex – “den say” {A pidgin English translation of they said, they being anyone and everyone} the process of accumulating information from everywhere but authenticated verifiable sources till you have enough to knock the courage and boldness out of you to do what should be done. Read this in the light of the residual Nigerian lurking in my seemingly Western outlook.

This silly situation basically kept me from doing this stuff for months because I was waiting to have my hand held through the process when I could have just read up on the stuff in the first place.

Get on with it, yourself

Anyway, I finally went to the company registration website and immediately found the forms I needed to fill for a sole proprietorship – in English.

Bless these people, the English end of the form was filled in and it automatically filled in the official Dutch version so you just got it right – thankfully, ICT Consultant translates to ICT Consultant in Dutch, the aspect of design, architecture and development is easily done with a quick chat on MSN Messenger with a friend and we were done.

I printed out the form and left it a while until I was overcome with shingles, but it was at the back of my mind. Meanwhile, I had a chat to a friend who had just finished a company registration last week, it was a positive ”den say”.

All the help and more

So, this afternoon, as I realised I had strength to do something, I left home for the Kamer van Koophandel (KvK), namely, the Chamber of Commerce which is a few hundred metres from the Central Station in Amsterdam.

As I got to the KvK, I asked in English about company registrations, the friendly receptionist immediately gave me a VAT form to go with my company registration and a ticket signifying my turn in the queue with a warning that it might take 15 minutes to get called. I think I arrived there at just before half-past three in the afternoon – they close at 5 o’ clock.

I filled in the financial projections for the VAT registration and wondered, I had just walked into the Chamber of Commerce a foreign not speaking the lingo to register my company and it would be done in minutes without having had any money exchanging hands to get in the queue, having some urchin demand something to see my forms and then dismiss them out-of-hand because palms have not been greased.

I snapped out of that trance quickly enough to realise, I am in the Netherlands not Nigeria and my number came up E42. He asked if I could speak Dutch, I said badly, and he replied, no problem, we help as many languages as we can speak.

All done in 35 or less

No tension, as we entered his office, he asked if I was registered with the local government, I thought I was, I have been paying council taxes for years, the payer is definitely no ghost.

I produced the forms and my identity, a British passport as I explained the difference between England, Great Britain and the United Kingdom which consists of Great Britain and Northern Ireland – lots of light hearted banter, I signed the form and my company was registered, within 5 minutes, I had the confirmation that I own and run Akin Konsult, an ICT consultancy as a business entity in the Netherlands.

Another 10 minutes, the process had been completed for my VAT registration all in one go and at one basic cost that did not exceed EUR 30.

In all, I probably spent 35 minutes from the time I walked in the KvK and left the proud owner of a fully registered sole proprietorship all managed and steered by people who are a members of a bureaucracy no doubt but are satisfied with their jobs, willing to help, very friends, deftly efficient and quite knowledgeable about their tasks.

Most importantly, they were doing me no favours and they were asking for no favours, they were just doing their jobs and I left extremely impressed with what should be an everyday circumstance anywhere in the world.

I would indeed want to find out the experiences of company registrations in other countries especially the one that leaves the residual Nigerian awakened from dormancy when it should have been extinct.

Corporate inversion to produce excellence

Losing that Corporate umbrella

Having worked in a number of organisations, conglomerates and enterprises, one has seen the tyranny of pointless political battles, internal markets, Russian-doll-empires and departmental rivalries that beset all good intentions of the board of directors.

The Organisational Chart

The Organisational Chart, possibly created in that dreaded PowerPoint or this time Microsoft Visio (See earlier blog on PowerPoint), creates the fertile ground for the at times credible generalisations that:

• Working for the same organisation does not mean you gel as an organisation.
• Each departmental function is an unchallenged monopoly in that organisation.
• Collective responsibility of corporate goals is dispersed amongst departmental heads who work a double agenda of both trying to be efficient and the desire to succeed the incumbent corporate officers.
• Responsibility is aggressively acquired from other units for successes and promptly evaded and blamed on other units for failures.
• Employee value and talent is lost in the bean counting of cost-centre accountancy.

One is saying that the comfort of working under the umbrella of ABC Corporation is failing the corporation and stopping the corporation from evolving fast enough to respond to the change necessary for its profitability and survival.

The logic of proper outsourcing

Imagine your organisation being changed into something completely from what it is now. It now just consists of a board of directors with the ideas and capital for a particular venture.

• The facilities department becomes a facilities management firm competing in tenders to provide a block of offices and run all the facilities necessary for a corporate headquarters and the satellite offices.
• The legal department becomes a law firm providing legal advice to the company and any other companies needing that expertise for a fee.
• The personnel management department becomes combined talent resourcing and payroll management firm managing all Human Resourcing needs for a market that includes your organisation and the departments that have become firms.
• The finance department becomes a corporate finance advisory firm and facilitator for managing the board's capital interests in this venture.
• The IT department becomes a service provider of end-to-end IT services to the organisation and all the firms employed by the board for the organisation. The IT firm also competes on the open market.
• The marketing, sales and publicity departments become a PR firm with professional research and marketing facilities, holding a respectable PR budget.

This is the same organisation with a centralised core of the board with a clear set of goals, requirements and principles. Now, each firm competing on the open market to fulfil the requirements is faced with tougher choices to either perform or face extinction from competition.

The Organisational Chart is no more a hierarchy but a star with one reporting line between the office of the board of directors (the customer) and the firms that provide customer service. The complete inversion of corporate government.

The Board Expects

 For the fee the office of the board pays for each service they have acquired they should expect the following:

• Clearly set contract service levels and penalties for default.
• Professional customer service with performance metrics, which include bonuses for exceeding expectations.
• Well planned and organised project deliveries that cut the muster of competitive market scrutiny.
• Firm managements that can negotiate realistic timelines, costs, requirements and deliverables.
• Considerable improvements if the service contracted is provided or the option to renegotiate or fire the service company if they under perform.

The Firm

The firms face the continual test of if their service is worth paying for; they have to cost and value every negotiated settlement balancing the provision of service with staying competitive.

 This would do wonders for the erstwhile department in these ways:

• All resources that have survived for so long under the corporate setting but brought no value to the company would be exposed and offered severance terms.
• Projects properly researched before any negotiations begin and only within the resources available to service that project.
• Poor management within the firm would be under pressure to perform or depart.
• The level of service required or the firm would require skilled personnel on better remuneration to fulfil contracts signed.
• Market forces would compel the firms to adapt to trends more quickly.
• The organisational issues which plagued the larger organisation and were buried the weight of internal rivalries would have a smaller field of play, but its impact would be immediately felt and dealt with.

The individual

How this affects all the individuals involved depends if you are on the board to demand or in the firm to provide a service.

If on the board your question would be - If I had to pay for this kind of service from an external firm, what should I demand and expect?

If in the service firm, your question would be - Would one get away with giving this level of service if someone had to pay for it?

The Utopian Organisation

The mindset of the organisational entity is completely changed and that is outsourcing in Utopia, if only the world were a perfect place.