Nigeria: Do him for vagrancy

A typical prodigal son

It is difficult to pick up where to begin to do this story any justice but it represents a microcosm of malaise that affects Nigeria, to ignore it is to condone a greater injustice where debate is necessary to deal with the ills that plague our country.

I was drawn to the story when I saw the title, “My father was a governor, but I’m dying of poverty.” [1] At first, I thought, Big Deal, why should your father who having been governor now have any bearing on your life today?

However, on reading the story, I was filled with revulsion, disdain and anger, emotions that could only be assuaged in the slightest by this blog.

A fatherhood of disgrace

This man’s father was Alhaji Barkin Zuwo, a Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria between 1979 and 1983, then Governor of Kano State in 1983. He was an ill-educated stark illiterate [2] who on seeing a number of For Sale signs thought the labelled goods belonged to Saleh.

He is the one of whom was said when asked about the mineral resources [3] in his state suggested the abundance of coke and fanta – minerals being a Nigerian euphemism for carbonated soft drinks. He also preferred to keep state funds in his house than in the bank.

In his lifetime, he had 4 wives and 18 children, a whole brood of incompetents and never-do-wells of which this Tijjani Sabo Barkin Zuwo is one.

Whilst certain religions allow for polygamous marriages, to sire a brood without attendant parental guidance that would allow them thrive and make something of their lives is the height of irresponsibility; it goes without saying that whilst people might not necessarily have large families no proper consideration is taken of what it takes to run a family properly before starting one.

Printing tales of woes

However, this apology of a character who finished secondary school around the time of Murtala Mohammed’s regime which puts it around 1975/76 went on a printing technology course in America sponsored by USAID and apparently made nothing of it.

I would suggest the reason why is because he thought since his father was a politician he could hang on the coat tails of patronage and influence peddling to get by, something many children and relations of people in power do in Nigeria.

Now that the father is dead, the friends who congregated in his harem with their noses to the trough have moved on to other sources of patronage leaving Tijjani and his siblings seeking ways to perfect mendicancy on the reputation of their father in whose home was found 3.4 million Naira cash [4] at a time when the Nigerian Naira was almost par with the British Pound.

That such men have been visited on Nigeria is beyond the pale but worse still is the legacy of beggar children who are all grown up, useless, shameless and without an iota of dignity.

Wasted opportunities for corruption too

If Tijanni with the little and almost inconsequential education he had with all the patronage he could have commanded had played his cards right, he might not have found himself in the sorry state he is in now.

But the sad tale is many children of influential people rest on the laurels of the parent’s achievements and bide their time for the inheritance that eventually gets shared amongst a multitude of leeches that they really do end up with nothing – as the story goes, Tijjani’s slide from riches to poverty started at time of the death of his father.

He suggests his family is not united and there is no love between them – well, why would there be love in a poorly constituted sham of a family of numbers rather than children where the women who think they are wives were just sexual pleasure units of the religiously-sanctioned libido of lustful and lasciviously reprobate men?

Take a breather – Akin!

Hit him on the head with his beggar bowl

Anyway, Tijjani believes if he can unite his family they can take their begging bowls to the current state government and find familial succour as a matter of right.

I can count a good 100 million Nigerians who are more deserving of succour from their government; the 70% who never had a life of privilege or an atrociously corrupt father, who live on less than $2 a day, working hard to make ends meet – Tijjani deserves nothing more from anyone except if he gets off his backside and gets a job, else he should starve like lazy sloths do and die.

It is breathtaking when he suggests that many of his age mates are permanent secretaries and top government functionaries – it is laughable that a cretin with a printing technology certification of sorts thinks he should be in a top government position, Nigeria does tolerate and celebrate mediocrity in excess though.

You lay your own bed, it is not communal

It however highlights a number of issues; the feeling that we should all keep within the average success range of our peers that we cannot countenance the idea of people of a lesser age being in ascendancy and above us – Get real, this is the real world – I had to endure and live through the situation where when I was in my first year, my junior in secondary school was finishing his 5-year course – I faced the situation with dignity and got on with it without regret or commiseration – such is life.

He believes that he has passed the age of applying for a fresh job, well, he must have passed the age for having food on his table too and consequently he is a useless parasitic organism in society breathing air that might be of use to those who are well over his age still working their backs out.

Do him for vagrancy

Tijjani by estimation should be about 50 years old, maybe tops in his mid-fifties, but I doubt he has ever done a decent job in his life and so has no experience or skills to offer the Nigerian marketplace.

If he is anything like is father, he would be too much of a dunce to train for anything – I feel so disgusted to my guts writing these lines but Tijjani’s life probably parallels the lives of many other children of privilege in Nigeria who have done nothing useful in their lives and expect everything to come to them by reason of the hard work of others.

Tijjani apparently has written a bailout letter to the Deputy Governor of Kano State who I believe should dump the letter in his bin but send a reply that if he hears from any of the brood of Barkin Zuwo again they would be charged with vagrancy.

Tijjani “feels a nostalgia remembering the privileges he once had, but which are no more.” I almost find myself sympathetic but I refuse to be overwhelmed with that emotion.

In closing, Tijjani “is optimistic that help is not far away from coming his way.” Not if I could help it, get off your fat lazy arse and find some work, I say in utter exasperation.

Note: The Sun News On-line should use a spell checker and do some proofreading, it is the least to be expected of a newspaper – that is not to say I am perfect, I am always reviewing my blogs

Sources

[1] My father was a governor, but I’m dying of poverty – Barkin Zuwo’s son - The Sun News On-line

[2] Etteh: Language as physiognomy of the mind - The Sun News On-line

[3] The Varnishing tribe of glamorous politicians - The Sun News On-line

[4] Crippled giant: Eghosa E. Osaghae - Google Book Search: Book Preview Page 174

Nigeria: A dereliction dressed as an amnesty

Relearning the meaning of amnesty

I had to check the meaning of the word amnesty again because I was afraid its common usage was losing it primary context.

The Chambers 21^st Century Dictionary defines amnesty thus:

amnesty [1] noun (amnesties) 1 a general pardon, especially for people convicted or accused of political crimes. 2 a period of time when people can admit to crimes, hand in weapons, etc in the knowledge that they will not be prosecuted.

ETYMOLOGY: 16c: from Greek amnestia oblivion.

President offers amnesty

One should quote the Nigerian President verbatim [2] on this matter “We will grant amnesty to all those who are ready to lay down their arms. It will also include rehabilitating and integrating them into the system.” he said at a meeting of leaders of his political party.

The definition of amnesty suggests a number of considerations in the matter of militancy in the Niger Delta [3], the possibility that the brigands of lawlessness are also a political movement who are ready to admit to crimes and lay down their arms.

Well, it would appear the President has not read the situation well enough to appreciate what needs to be done.

The Genesis of the problem in the Niger Delta stems from the fact that the wealth of the nation derived from the lands, swamps and waters of that region has not benefited the indigenous people.

The leaders of an earlier political movement that included Ken Saro-Wiwa [4] agitated for recognition and compensation were murdered by the military regime of that time and since then the other groups that have supplanted that movement have menaced the region with militancy.

The problem still exists glaringly

The Federal Government has strong-armed and offered false hopes but failed to address the core issues either by engaging the oil companies constructively in corporate social responsibility or by taking away the premise that the militancy has of representing the people by offering the infrastructure and economic emancipation the people require.

The militants have a lucrative existence within that region, being able to trade arms, launch attacks that impact adversely on the oil producing infrastructure and engage in kidnapping for ransoms – the law enforcement and military authorities have ceded control writ large in the area.

Bereft of ideas and at the risk of one seeing every action of the government through the eyes of the inane rebranding Nigeria campaign the President is offering a well ensconced militancy an amnesty.

The idea of rehabilitating and integrating them into the system, whatever system means would have been plausible but there is no example of any of the indigenous people having been taken out of the quagmire of their suffering.

Offering pirates on the high seas paper boats in bowls of water is hardly a winning strategy, neither is compensating or appeasing militancy when the underlying grievances continue to exist, because other militants would rise to replace the ones that have been subsumed until the causative issues are properly tackled.

No confidence in the President

The main militant organisation has pooh-poohed the whole idea by first demanding the “demilitarisation of the delta, basic services for local communities, the release of jailed activists and compensation for oil pollution.”

Then in what shows as a complete lack of confidence or trust in what is supposed to be the legally constituted authority in Nigeria, they said that the context of amnesty, “will only be considered under a well co-ordinated peace arrangement, under the supervision of a respected international mediator.”

If President Yar 'Adua is able to rise this kind of challenge to both his authority and negotiating ability is left to be seen but I would contend that the issues in the Niger Delta would continue to hurt Nigeria until a visionary and pragmatic approach is adopted to alleviating the suffering of the people in whose name the militancy fights.

Honestly, I doubt the President has a clue and I would have to reluctantly concur with the militants, “MEND[5] will not lay down its arms because of a mere verbal statement from Mr Yar 'Adua.” It would appear Mr Yar 'Adua is not negotiating from a position of strength.

Sources

[1] Chambers Search Chambers

[2] Al Jazeera English - Africa - Nigeria offers delta rebels amnesty

[3] Conflict in the Niger Delta - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[4] Ken Saro-Wiwa - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[5] Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Do you need a miracle?

Untrammelled between trams

And I thought as I got on the tram as it wended its way towards a destination close to home, I could be on that other tram going for meal.

Indeed, I could as I was sitting; would I then end up in the other tram sat in a space nudging away whoever was occupying the seat or suddenly find myself standing erect in the aisle then search for a free seat?

It got me thinking about the need for powers and the consequences of having the power to upset the general course of nature.

Appearing to startle

With all the selfish ability to translate myself from one tram to another, I wondered if I had to scout for a place before I left the tram I was in for the other and what state I would be in as I negotiated the possibilities and the consequences.

Maybe, I could in fact be translated but there was the other issue of its effect on my community, the bystanders going about their business trying not to witness anything so stressful after a long day at work.

If I suddenly appeared, how would I have prepared the other passengers for my appearance without startling everyone and scaring them off the tram such that I would have drawn unnecessary attention to myself and ended up being a great sensation but never getting to where I had intended in the first place.

The miracle of contemplation

That thoughtfulness lead me to one conclusion, the need for miracles in most cases can be obviated with adequate contemplation and planning. If minutes before, I had already decided what I wanted to do, I could easily have boarded the other tram naturally without causing distress to either myself or anyone else.

In fact, I do not need a miracle for something I could have properly planned for and anticipated using my God-given intellect and abilities, I could achieve what needs to be achieved without upsetting the laws of nature and creating unnecessary commotion as I ingratiate myself with powers that could have been better utilised in the pursuit of more altruistic goals.

Do you need a miracle?

Suffice it to say that we mostly seek miracles for the trivial, to correct mistakes we have made and to absolve ourselves from the responsibilities we could have shouldered if we dared to be half the geniuses we were born to be.

Whereas, miracles are in essence supposed to be for the impossible, the insurmountable, the overwhelmed – not the difficult but manageable circumstances that at many times were under our control but we refused to assume the responsibility to take control until it became too late to manage in any way.

Would this account for many unanswered prayers? Seeking miracles where basic commonsense should have sufficed – I do wonder what I really would have done if I had the power to be translated from on tram to another or a one fast moving train to another moving in the opposite direction.

On reflection, I really do not need that power or rather the greatest power you can have equal or greater than the miracle you seek is to have contemplated, planned and executed to achieve what you aim for.

Thought Picnic: Parental Responsibility

The child of something

We really should latch on to the reality that the way children turn out cannot be entirely divorced from the upbringing offered by the parents, if those parents have had opportunity and purpose to rear that child.

In this Thought Picnic, allow me the levity of the simplistic analysis of parent-child relationships without the encumbrance of complex family units suffering all sorts of social pressures.

Many of us owe a great debt of gratitude to parents who have without training or instruction taken on that responsibility of parenting by offering support and encouragement whilst having the good sense not to offer supine excuses for wrongs and instilling the kind of discipline to make us worthwhile members of our communities.

Parental responsibility

Unfortunately, there are other parents who in allowing freedoms for their children to explore and learn have lost restraining authority by ingratiating their little angels regardless of how bad the behaviour of their ward becomes.

The child grows into thinking the world owes them nothing having been schooled in the concepts of boundless excess, unsupervised exploration, untrammelled desire and reckless behaviour without sanction.

At one time, one would think once the child has been allowed to stray into the realms of the unviable the parents would accept a modicum of culpability in how the child has turned out and if there can be no penance for their failings they would not defend the indefensible by breaking the law.

Now, one can understand that if the child has gotten into deep trouble the parent for their failings might offer some support, maybe to redeem their relationship with the wayward child – it should not be at any cost.

A crime so vile

In August 2007, a boy of 11 walking back home from a football match got shot in his neighbourhood – there was outrage and grief from the society in general that suddenly felt it had been robbed of an innocence, safety and sense of community.

Meanwhile, in that same community, the families of the perpetrators of that heinous crime clammed up and manufactured alibis and stories to exculpate and absolve their wards from guilt and blame.

It was the sterling work of the police that finally nabbed the teenage killer and his accomplice who with the help of their parents destroyed essential evidence that might have left murderers roaming the community with impunity.

Parental responsibility rewarded

The murderer and his accomplice were found guilty and jailed, but the arm of justice is not shortened as yesterday the mother of the killer and the parents of the accomplice were jailed for their part in protecting their little angels.

In what is the extreme of bad parenting and the parental absolution of their children for all they have done regardless of how bad and horrible, the children have now dragged their parents down with them giving life to the concept that a child might not necessarily be too different from its parent.

God forbid the thought but whilst a parent might not necessarily be overtly criminal, if the child turns out criminal, where the parents have had good involvement in bringing up the child – is the child the brood of criminals?

I ponder from my vantage point of not having been a parent and not planning on being one, I am however thankful for my parents, I do strive to make them proud rather than drag them down into ignominy, all because for all that they knew, they encouraged when necessary and restrained where appropriate.

Only till noon and no further

So rapid a folly

As we fulminate and castigate the rebranding Nigeria exercise the invisible website of the Nigeria: Good People, Great Nation campaign makes a disappearance worthy of the greatest magic trick and truly this day must it be found in our deepest imaginary thoughts as we are taken on a subliminal journey of no particular destination. Good dreams, Great fantasies.

Success has come, President Go-Slow has moved into the fast lane and the power crises has left people crying for joy as the turbines in Kainji roar into patriotic action and deliver power 25/8 non-stop to the oil lantern burning in my village in Ogun State. Good power, Great darkness.

O for a play, Sir

The militants have joined the campaign and rebranded themselves; Good militants, Great commotion the Delta in the region has now become mathematical, it is the difference between the haves and the have-nots, but the ex-military generals have been demoted to captains of oil boats, maybe it is a case of Good oil, Great slipperiness.

No doubt, we have to cut down the rate of maternal mortality, indeed we do, so the House of Assembly has diverted its gaze from the issue of gay marriage that sailed through the legislature unanimously that Bishop Akinola even blessed the first couple to be joined in unholy matrimony; their attention is on promulgating a law to ban pregnancies altogether, condoms should worn on the ring finger. Good marriage, Great barrenness.

Yaps fail drool

Meanwhile, in recognition of the hard times and contrition for their hedonism, the Redeemed Christian Church organization decided on the side of great charity to donate the services of their newly acquired aircraft to the services of airlift the asylum seekers who have many a time drowned in the Mediterranean Sea. It is just so unAfrican to travel by rickety boat, fly instead. Good plane, Great airs.

Since they have landing rights all around the world, they can also take the message of Nigeria’s great rebranding to the global village and proclaim the new rich Nigerian clergy; One would abide no gay and the other would levitate from clay. Good show, Great buffoonery.

Is a day for poll

Just as America is beginning to consider the lesser dominance of the Dollar, the Naira is becoming the reserve currency of Africa and Nigeria has just been invited to the G-21 meeting, you could have fooled me; I thought it was the G-20. Good G-20, Great G-21

The brand Nigeria is getting better than Aspirin for pain, the Hoover for cleaning, The Kelvinator for coolness and Google for a search of the right way to do things – I am almost impressed, but hey! Wasn’t the ex-President put on trial the other day on hard talk as he explored all the potentials that Nigeria had to be a rich country, a prosperous country, a leading country and a democratic country? Good country, Great potential.

Proofs lay laid

No mention is made of corruption because the EFCC has wiped it would with a few arrests and fines, elections count because the INEC produces the numbers, and 419 letters have gone one better, they are now 420 and you must finish reading the letters before 4:30.

Did I say the President has moved into the fast lane? Well, he now has 4 kidneys – read this all before noon. Anagrams are pain.