Burning Up The Rapist's Manual

This is my contribution to 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence Say No – Unite to end violence against women.

Loving rape

This topic always gets to me and it has become one of the ones I have returned to write about again and again.

The issue is rape but worse still, it is the justification of rape by reason of what some might call indecent, ungodly, improper or provocative dressing.

This school of thinking that included an Attorney General in Nigeria suggests that the rape victim is almost entirely responsible for their rape because their dressing provoked the rapist to act uncontrollably such that the rapist had to satisfy the jungle animal lust presented by sighting a provocatively dressed object of desire.

Animals, we are not

I could well agree if this happened amongst animals but out there in the jungle animals are not in clothes and essentially they are not human-beings.

In fact, even in communities where nudity exists as a matter of course, I doubt those societies violate the bodies of each other without consent, as human-beings we are civilised and one element of civilisation is self-restraint in the face of serious provocation.

We are equal

Another issue I want to address is that of relationships between men and women in society. From a moral standpoint there is a tendency to dehumanise and objectify our womenfolk with the idea that the male gender collectively and individually automatically have lien over all women to such an extent that men believe they should have control on all issues that affect women.

That is why we still have to content with issues of rights, rape, abortion, trafficking, abuse, harassment, dressing, mutilations and much else with the law almost giving perpetrators the licence of impunity without consequence.

Women have rights

I contend that beyond the primary sphere of influence if there be one that subscribes to the primitive view of the inequality of the sexes, the woman out in the street minding her own business in whatever state of dress she might be in is in her own right an individual, equal before the law and she should be able to make the decisions she deems fit for how she presents anywhere she have the right to be at.

We cannot because we are men attempt to control every woman as if we are husband, father, son, brother, nephew or relation to suit some preconceived notion of some play being honour and dishonour requiring violent sanction.

No licence to violate

Basically, no man by nature, by law or by divine instruction has acquired the right and licence to violate another person for whatever purposes they might want to use to justify that heinous act. This applies to rape, sexual abuse, physical violence or harassment and we need to address whatever allows us to condone any violation forthwith.

In a series of tweets that I have collated into a Storify titled The Rapist’s Manual, the total sum of my compelling argument is found in this tweet - Let me as categorical as I can ever be. There can NEVER EVER be any grounds or mitigating circumstances for rape.

If I were to leave my readers with one analogy framed in a question it would be this – If a woman is responsible for her rape because of her indecent dressing, are you responsible for an armed robber pointing a gun at you?

Further Reading

A Hard Look At Violence Against Women – The Resurgence

3 commissioners suspended for improper dressing in Ebonyi State, Nigeria

Violence Against Women Online Resources

Nigeria: Please Support Project Alert

The appeal

I am writing this blog to ask you to support the work and activities of Project Alert, an NGO that caters for incidences of violence against women in Nigeria.

I believe Nigeria is quite needful of agencies that challenge and address societal, cultural, traditional and religious attitudes that tolerate, condone or encourage the abuse of women and minors. There are too many victims suffering in silence, left in abominable hellish lives because of the stigma of acknowledging problems they have experienced and because the law places undue strain on them giving advantage to perpetrators to terrorise with impunity.

Support for agencies like Project Alert and Prevent Abuse of Children Today (PACT) that I wrote about a few months ago is necessary to ensure that victims of abuse are not permanently damaged without respite, succour or comfort; it is also important that we are able to refer victims to these organisations at the earliest opportunity to get help which might include treatment, counselling, material support or even legal advice – all of which are critical to the healing process.

What you can do

Project Alert requires your support in cash and kind as listed on their Donate page, I hope we can engage some expertise to facilitate an online donation kiosk as well as a courier service to help first as collection points of gifts and then to deliver the gifts to the agency.

• Pledge to support Project Alert
• Help create an online payment kiosk with minimal administrative costs (Pro-bono web gurus?)
• Make material donations to the women’s shelter
• Make cash donations to help run Project Alert
• Offer to ease administrative burdens of collecting and delivering gifts made to Project Alert
• Share information about the services Project Alert offers
• Support activities that promote the rights of women and minors (On blogs, Twitter, Facebook, media, etc. )

Josephine Effah Chukwumah, the Executive Director talks about the activities of Project Alert here and you can find references to Project Alert in the news here.

Project Alert - Contact Details

Ultimately, people need to know they can get help and we all can support those who deploy resources to help. Thank you.

The Backstory

I write a lot and probably do not write enough. However, I have found that much of what I write revolves around human rights; the rights of children, the rights of women, the rights of the poor, injustices, sexual abuse, sexuality and other taboo subjects that need the clear light of day.

The difficult subjects I write about come from my experiences and observations, I may not be able to empathise but I hope that I can at least sympathise with victims of all sorts of abuse and neglect and in the process use my writing to stimulate honest debate and possibly the change that will ensure victims can get help, seek redress and receive justice.

Sharing my own personal experiences has helped me reach out to others who have encountered similar and sometimes more heinous violations of their persons that are beyond description but until we acknowledge the prevalence of these evils we will never be anywhere near being able to help and heal – sometimes, what the other person needs is just someone to believe their story first whilst our society would rather deny the existence of such evils.

Only a few weeks ago, I had someone challenge the notion that boys could be sexually abused, the import being it was more a pleasurable educational experience than a violation of their person and a loss of innocence – only one word could sum up that thinking – IGNORANCE!

My Sex Post

It was just over 5 years ago when some of my blogging friends were writing excited blogs about their first sexual experiences, most of them strove for and lost that innocence in their late teens having exercised curiosity and interest for many years before.

Then, it was customary for these blogs to be written with a template that comprised a series of questions that you had to answer after which you tagged 5 other friends and in the process you socially networked your intimate experiences with boasting and much else.

I was tagged and I did not have the kind of story my friends had to tell, in fact, I could only answer the first question about when I first had sex, the other questions would have been too difficult to answer for a 7-year old even if he had the luxury of putting almost 40 years between that experience and now. [My Sex Post]

We are many, not a few

What surprised me about that blog was the number of people who had had similar experiences as mine, male and female, in the apparent comfort and safety of their homes without anyone to talk to about the violations of their bodies and the loss of their innocence, many still bearing the scars until today.

We need to move on from the constant indifference and denial of the sexual abuse of minors and women in Nigeria and have to appreciate that victims need all the help they can get to deal with paedophiles, incest, rape, harassment, prostitution, battering, mutilation and other unmentionable evils.

If there are other agencies in Nigeria that you know of who address these issues, please do not hesitate to leave a comment.

Thank you.

Nigeria: What Rape Victims Face in Court

Caught my eye

The headline was what got me as it appeared on one of my Twitter lists - Ex-Corp Member Weeps in Court When Asked to Show Her Private Part [1] – it was irresistible to my curiosity I had to view the circumstances of such an outrageous request.

A prominent traditional ruler had been accused of the rape of a 23-year old lady who was in youth service within the domain of the ruler.

The lady must have been caught in circumstances beyond her control when the lecherous ruler first attempted to gain carnal knowledge of her through the belittlement of throwing money at her which she rejected before he allegedly forced himself on her raping her.

Seeking justice

When she made a case of it, he offered her money not to make a scandal of it and considering the high thresholds of credibility needed to bring rape cases to court against quite influential members of the public, it must have been an ordeal to have gotten this far.

The story does not say when she was raped and the time that had elapsed between the alleged incident and when the case was heard in court but that is beside the point.

Beyond belief

What is quite shocking and brazen in its effrontery and insensitivity as the news story portends is that it says the monarch himself asked the victim to show her allegedly bruised private parts to confirm to the court that she had been raped.

It goes on to say the counsel for the respondent did on cross-examination of the witness demand, NOT ask, but demand that she expose her privates for the scrutiny of the judge, the present counsel and prosecution to ascertain the veracity of her claim.

Now, even if the court doubled as a gynaecological unit and the all the learned purveyors of the ways and means of the law were certified consultant gynaecologists, this request would have been utterly improper at best.

This direction of questioning after being overruled should have had the counsel sanctioned with the risk of contempt by reason of deliberately outraging public decency.

If the monarch had also spoken out in initiating this line of questioning, he should have been sternly cautioned but the news story offers no such detail.

Bad handling of a sensitive situation

In my opinion, the purpose of that line of questioning was no doubt geared towards first embarrassing the victim, then humiliating her in her quest for justice before seriously upsetting her that she might lose all her composure to the advantage of the defence.

I am concerned that the judge appeared to be a tad lackadaisical in dealing firmly with this affront to polite proceedings where the counsel should have for bringing the legal profession into disrepute risked disbarment.

However, the sadder picture exemplified in this case is the lack of courtesy and sensitivity to victims of rape in open court and the effrontery and brazenness of patriarchy at the plight of victimised women.

What victims face

Men of power and influence behave as if they have right and authority to demand and obtain sexual favours whilst being unable handle rejection or negation of their desires.

They believe if they have the physical means to overpower the woman, then they can have their way without consequence.

They expect that the shock and shame of being raped presents a barrier to prosecution as the victim has to wade through hurdles of location, situation, opportunity, motive, circumstance, believability and influence to start off the process of justice.

As society will probably first find fault with the victim before it considers the egregious criminality of the perpetrator.

What to do

There is every need to have stronger support networks for rape victims regardless of the probable cause and the availability of evidence necessary to prosecute to the fullest extent of the law, all those accused of rape.

As another human-being and sadly of the male species, I have the fullest sympathy for the victim and I hope that those involved in this contemptible show of chauvinism too vile for expression are visited with opprobrium, shame, disgrace and obloquy as a deterrent to any other counsel who might think sailing close to the wind in rude discourse can be done with impunity and without dire consequences.

Source

[1] Ex-Corp Member Weeps in Court When Asked to Show Her Private Part - Nigeria DailyPost

Apes Obey! Instinct rather than moral virtue

Another scandal breaks

This could have easily been one of the feature stories in the Lagos Weekend [Source – The Daily Times of Nigeria – Lagos Weekend] which is said to be a light entertainment newspaper only the things I read in those papers then as a kid were well beyond my recommended reading matter.

Scandal and sex, most like titillating pornography in the hands of an 11 year old, what was one supposed to do?

In another of my Apes Obey! Series, I explore the issue of authority, how that is exercised without moral virtue and the tendency for animal instinct to get the better judgement of those in authority that see no abuse in sexual harassment.

Letters of intent and contempt

This does not get that far, but there is a case of sexual harassment in a Federal High Court in Abuja where a lowly nurse has tendered evidence of being harassed by the Chief Medical Director of the National Hospital in Abuja for what might be sexual favours. [Source – Nigerian Tribune - National Hospital sex scandal: CMD’s love letter tendered in court]

She also tendered another letter where one of her bosses, a female, tried to persuade her to yield to the advances of the chief to save her job.

I am not for one moment interested in the sensational aspects of this case and since it is still sub judice I cannot ascertain to any extent the quality and provenance of the evidence presented, however, there are other matters for analysis in this case.

The nurse has brought this case for harassment which would normally be dealt with by a tribunal in the West to save her job and career which was in danger of stagnating or termination if she did not succumb to the “sexual” advances of the Chief Medical Officer.

The abuse of authority

She no doubt took a serious risk of not compromising her principles to take on the might of authority in this quest. Typically, those in positions of authority assume themselves to be sources of patronage; potentates of whom all draw their breath and reason for existence.

They demand and expect their commands and desires to be met, though it is one thing to exercise professional authority within the bounds of ethically sound conduct and another which is taking the opportunity through rank and position to satisfy ones desires.

The issue here is how to deal with the endemic case of men in authority, who feel that all women in their sphere of influence are available to satisfy their sexual proclivities.

Those in power think that their positions were intrinsically virtuous without the need to have any moral virtues, integrity or principles thereby allowing animal instinct to rise to the fore as they roam and rove as rulers of the jungle – subduing and domineering with untrammelled remit over the lives of others.

Some women have under this relentless domination, persuasion, duress and threat to their well-being and livelihood succumbed; losing every sense of self-esteem and dignity in the process as the “men”, or rather, animals take their pleasures and move on to the next female on the block.

Made vulnerable for other needs

Ideally, women as supposed to be secure in their lives and jobs which they should have attained by genuine market competition, competence and merit, but people in power who are supposed to be mentors, coaches,  teachers or helpers take liberties and take advantage, painting alternative scenarios that leave the women too vulnerable to resist the abuse.

This is a hard enough situation to be in, it does not have to be complicated by some middle manager that she should have been able to confide in, whose inability to exercise good judgement allows for the abuse to be perpetuated without end.

Sadly, this kind of action is unfortunate, as it cheapens the worth of a substantial number of the talent pool in Nigeria for sexual pleasure; I would not be surprised if before she received the letter from the Matron others had told her that it was just only sex, go in, get it and get out and all your life is settled and sorted – what is the big deal? Compromise for gain or principle for loss.

In the words of the doctor, “I will provide you your heart desire”, he had the power to make or break her career and it appears the nurse is after nothing but to retain her job and probably obtain a safe haven for her life and well-being.

This is where we need men and women of courage who can help ensure that those in authority know their responsibilities and the fact that they cannot abuse their staff with impunity and gain exemption from legal scrutiny.

The menace of legal instruments

Interestingly, both the Chief Medical Director and the Matron are named as respondents, they have not denied or repudiated any of the claims, rather they believe that the weight of legal menace that they can exercise on the lowly nurse gives them the right to try and exclude the nurse from legal redress because she may not have the means to pay for damages if she lost her case.

Herein, in another issue that needs attention, the need for a robust legal aid system that allows the little man to seek the counsel of competent legal expertise and exercise their full rights to justice in our legal system.

This legal aid system should also include a properly managed and effective pro bono representation system where learned and eminent barristers and advocates offer their services to protect the rights of the vulnerable.

Enshrine the CEDAW Conventions

When one seeks the right not be harassed, oppressed, abused or denigrated for refusing to succumb to the desires of another in authority, they should not have to suffer the intimidation of authority, means, power and influence that allows for impunity to thrive without adequate redress.

Whatever way the case gets resolved, this is an ever-present gauntlet the professional Nigerian woman has to run – it is time for our legislators to have laws in place that protect the rights of women and it is time to have the CEDAW Conventions enshrined in our national laws.

As Lord Lugard did say again, there are many in authority, that have “the courage of the fighting animal [to get whatever they want], an instinct [harass for personal desire] rather than a moral virtue [of self-restraint and understanding their position of authority, trust and leadership]”. We’ll see how this pans out.

Nigeria: Sexual Neanderthals run amok in the National Hospital

More sources force a review

Having come across another source of information regarding the sexual harassment case [Source – Origin (LeadershipNigeria), referenced @ allafrica.com - Nigeria: Sexual Harassment - Nurse Tenders Exhibit Against National Hospital], I have to write an addendum.

The points I raised in my original blog remain valid even though the additional information sheds more light on some assertions I made there.

It is unfortunate, that when gathering sources of information from Nigerian newspapers, you notice clearly how journalists are not thorough in their investigations, verifications and analysis of the news they are reporting.

As I said once before, journalists probably reflect the society within which they conduct their reporting activities, I would not deign to draw any further conclusions.

Institutionalised sexual slavery

It would appear that the sexual harassment and abuse of female staff in the National Hospital in Abuja is rife and the norm.

It is sad to read excerpts of the letter purportedly written by the matron, Deborah Olorunmaiye, an Assistant Chief Nursing Officer (ACNO) in the hospital.

“I do not have any problem with you I was doing this in order to retain my job. I gave you motherly advice to stay with me in our club, which you call a cult. Have relationship with the (Chief Medical Director) CMD and save your job, come forward for deliverance, you refused.

All I want to let you know is that we mother do it. Me, I keep relationship with Abawede in order to keep my job. They told me you refused to give them again a term you agreed in giving you job.

Thank you for all your usual assistance and I want to assure you that any plan by the management to dismiss you or use me to tell lots of lies on you and implicate you will not work.”

Working as pimps

It appears female middle managers are being press-ganged into coercing junior members of staff to submit to the sexual advances of the male management of the hospital.

It also appears beyond the professional activities in health services the women had constituted themselves into some sort of religious harem at the beck and call of the male management who demanded and obtained sexual favours without reservation.

It is shocking to learn that mature women in a seemingly mentoring and motherly position are under such threat and duress to be sexual slaves to the management of the hospital, the matron confessed that she had to keep a relationship with one Abawede to keep her job.

Your pudenda availability seals the job offer

Most appalling of all is the revelation that offering sexual favours constituted part of the terms of getting a job at the hospital.

I had to read that again - They told me you refused to give them again a term you agreed in giving you job. – It would appear she had had enough of the abuse in order to reclaim her self-esteem maybe.

This is sick enough for any patient to have a miraculous transformation to get out of the hospital before the grubby hands of those rotten lechers who call themselves doctors and management get near them.

How can we have a National Hospital run by people who have no moral rectitude, who abuse their positions for personal sexual gain and run the institution like a whore house for unspeakable peccadilloes? Peccadillo? I am in error, these are grievous sins, the hospital cannot be a house of care if the people who run it have turned it into a den of iniquity.

The letter of a lecher

It is however heartening to note that the matron who advised the nurse to yield to the terms of her employment contract has also said she would refuse to be used as an instrument to force a dismissal on the nurse.

Meanwhile, the CMD has denied all the allegations and even suggested that the nurse was subjected to psychiatric examination for accusing principal officers of the hospitals of being members of a secret cult.

Whilst one cannot ascertain the veracity of the secret cult claim, one reads of joining a club where the nurse could get deliverance (a religious term for exorcism), and still save her job by succumbing to the sexual advances of the CMD who allegedly penned a letter he hand-delivered to the nurse’s home.

“Ihuoma Dear, I will come back to pass the night with you. For your info, say yes to my request and I will provide u your heart desire. Your love Ajuwon”. (Dr. Olusegun Ajuwon being the name of the CMD at the centre of this case.)

One wonders why the married head of a medical institution would want to spend the night with a nurse who is not his wife, try and strike a bargain for a Quid pro quo situation that offers her heart’s desire for acceding to his request and the sign off with his surname rather than his first name - these were not lovers and she was definitely not his mistress, rather she was just a pleasure unit to him.

Take down those sexual Neanderthals

That is the abuse of power at work, the big-man-mentality that demands and expects to get what he asks for – her love indeed or his lust leading him like a sex-starved rabid maniac.

In the light of this onslaught on the nurse - Ihuoma Chinasa Doris – a rather peculiar arrangement of names; one can only hope that she does get her day in court, represented by competent legal counsel, being free to exercise the right of access to a legal process without the fear of legal menace brought on by the lack of funds.

The matron did recognise that the nurse’s good work in thanking her for her assistance and there must have been something the character and demeanour of the nurse that made the matron promise not to allow herself to be used to defame or dismiss the nurse – that should count for something, especially if it is proven to be the letter the matron actually wrote.

For all and sundry, if any of the points in the letters and the analysis is true, then a purge needs to take place in that hospital, and if only we had decent laws to protect women’s rights in Nigeria, all the men implicated in demanding sexual favours because of their office should face the music and punitive sanctions.

The case of Ihuoma Chinasa Doris might just be the one to start to roll back the hold of the sexual Neanderthal that has stalked the corridors of power in Nigeria and made the female pudenda the key to success for many women who have aspired to make something of their lives.

If the female legislators had any gumption they would ditch the nudity elements of that damned bill and sue for stringent anti-harassment laws that would place more of the burden of proof on those men who until now thought they could get away with anything and everything whilst destroying the lives of the victims unconscionably along the way.