Gillette, my closest shaves and bloody nicks

Razors of choice

Gillette, “The best a man can get.” The tagline we all can remember even if it appears to have changed to something else we can’t be bothered to find memorable.

I get plenty of clean shaves of depilation but not much for the occasional disasters and mishaps. I switched from the Gillette Mach 3 razor when I took a nice length of fillet mignon off my scalp. I believed I could do no wrong with the Gillette Fusion 5 razor, 5 blades crafted for maximum protection, or so they intended.

Yet, no manufacturer can ever know what their customers might be up to with their products, for all the safety precautions they list to keep us all from harm. The Gillette Fusion 5 has enabled me lift gossamer-thin strips of skin so neatly off too many places to mention.

The cuts a man can get

A bit off my forehead the other day was where the razor would usually never visit, and I have hardly allowed it to heal and then this morning it was my ear. The tragus and the lower part of the lobule nicked in good, the best a man can get in getting cut.

The razor-edged revelations bleed almost profusely and scream to my nerves for attention that I cannot ignore for the stinging pain. For the ear, the only remedy was spray plaster generously sprayed on the wound as I gritted my teeth and the pain eased.

Whether I would let that heal before the night nurse in Bulawayo upbraids me, I don’t know. Now to check if my ear is still there.

Hair between us

Chins in array

In our morning chat, I said it was time for me to shave my facial hair as any growth beyond 5 days becomes an irritation, partly itchy and partly sore, it is quite uncomfortable for me as he thinks it looks distinguished on me.

Now, at last count he thought there were 7 whiskers billowing on his chin, his desire for a beard and sideburns sometimes does drive me to distraction but he does not need it at all. To dissuade him I have suggested hair grafts that would not survive offering the detail of outside of our conversation, yet he persists.

Scalps on display

Whether a blessing or some accident of nature, he grows a noticeable moustache and then nothing below the line of the two ends of his upper lip. On our heads, there is a different story, he has a full carpet of hair with distinctive highlights of artistic quality, I have male pattern baldness that behoves I shave it all off to keep my dignity.

Hair is probably a veritable test of contentment, if you can’t have the hair you want, love the hair you’ve got, the hair you don’t have, buy what you need or take it all off. I think the hair he has is beautiful, but that alone is an argument strumming the strands of frustration. He is going to scream when he reads this blog.