Saturday 4 September 2021

Gillette, my closest shaves and bloody nicks

Razors of choice

Gillette, “The best a man can get.” The tagline we all can remember even if it appears to have changed to something else we can’t be bothered to find memorable.

I get plenty of clean shaves of depilation but not much for the occasional disasters and mishaps. I switched from the Gillette Mach 3 razor when I took a nice length of fillet mignon off my scalp. I believed I could do no wrong with the Gillette Fusion 5 razor, 5 blades crafted for maximum protection, or so they intended.

Yet, no manufacturer can ever know what their customers might be up to with their products, for all the safety precautions they list to keep us all from harm. The Gillette Fusion 5 has enabled me lift gossamer-thin strips of skin so neatly off too many places to mention.

The cuts a man can get

A bit off my forehead the other day was where the razor would usually never visit, and I have hardly allowed it to heal and then this morning it was my ear. The tragus and the lower part of the lobule nicked in good, the best a man can get in getting cut.

The razor-edged revelations bleed almost profusely and scream to my nerves for attention that I cannot ignore for the stinging pain. For the ear, the only remedy was spray plaster generously sprayed on the wound as I gritted my teeth and the pain eased.

Whether I would let that heal before the night nurse in Bulawayo upbraids me, I don’t know. Now to check if my ear is still there.

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