Simplicity in the bric-a-brac house

Not exactly true

The cost of simplicity is sometimes not evident. You find yourself weighing options at the point of entry hoping that having others bear the cost would save you lots in the long run.

The lesson, hard as it might be is that one should be ready to face certain costs so as to avoid other incidental and unexpected costs.

It came fully furnished, at least that is what gave it the premium rate and the inventory looked like an easy task of view, count and note.

Things falling apart

Nothing could be further from the truth, first it was the scales that could not be reset to zero; it was broken. Bread out of the bag for toast and the toaster fell apart, the warning being don’t plug this in.

The dawn broke and the thirst for tea had Polly reaching out to put the kettle on, there was no point waiting for Sooty to put it off again, the screws holding the lid were out, the attachment broken and the handle far from handling the jug. Water in this would be the difference between the finesse of elocution and the suddenness of electrocution. Time for replacements.

Up the stairs, three steps in all, a rumpled shirt needed ironing. With the choice of one of four irons, you wondered which one was wired to blow the fuse, but before that, reach out for the ironing table and notice that it is a paraplegic, the legs broken off.

Suction lost

Looking down from that is the vacuum cleaner, parts everywhere and none fitting together, it might have gone to war, lost a limb and an eye, maybe more, but there was nothing to walk with this kit.

Welcome to the house of bric-a-brac, it has everything, yet nothing you can use and that list does not end there, but the quest for simplicity continues.

Their fault will cost you

What about a television? Let’s get one delivered in 1:45 hours, the offer says, and so an order goes in and money goes out. 12 hours later, you learn that you were on the unfortunate side of a computer error or technical problem.

No anger, no frustration, just perplexity as a new time is arranged for the delivery and an email lands in your inbox with all the details, only that it appears you are being changed an extra 60% for a service they did not deliver, in the first place.

The time for a torrent of expletives is nigh and no opprobrium should ensue, but calmly after 8 phone calls all before 10:30AM, everything seems to have been sorted out, or so it seems.

The cost of simplicity is simply the fact that many things are not as simple as they seem at first sight.

Thought Picnic: Composing elements of life and work

Counting down the sheep

I was up too early as I was trying to adjust my sleep patterns for the regularity of a work day. Getting to bed earlier and putting in more hours of sleep might mean I have to learn to count sheep better.

Some might say because I am in Wales, the matter of sheep is easy, but I will not subscribe to ridiculous stereotypes, I have not once seen a specimen of such since I arrived here.

Ironing smooth blogs

Between getting a blog up and the usual morning chores that had me ironing a shirt using a full-sized iron on a miniature ironing board, I could not help but wonder why irons do not have automatic sensors to determine the material being pressed and adjust the temperature accordingly.

Now, I know to turn the dial, but too many times the ironing surface needs high heat to attempt to rub off the material that had welded or should I say melted on the surface before you indelibly stain your cotton shirts.

Picture to see

My taxi to the office arrived 10 minutes early and by the time I was ready to leave, there wasn’t enough time for breakfast as I climbed in the cab for the 10 minute journey to work.

Greeted by soft rain, I arrived at reception and for my visitor’s pass I had to pose for a picture with no make-up on, then my hosts at the office had not yet arrived as I waited a while, catching up on my emails and other events on my tablet in the lobby.

Life comes up

Later the receptionist came to tell me that my host will soon be down to get me. Greetings, pleasantries and a visit to one of the offices presaged a meeting in the café for the mandatory morning coffee or was it a latte I had and it was nothing like Starbucks.

We had a general chat about things, where things were going and well about life, for whatever happens to us, either good or bad or somewhere in between comes under the broadest definition of life – that makes it easy to understand – questions get asked about my cane.

Then we went to meet other members of my team, 7 firm handshakes later, I began to make notes, read documentation and got my first access to the environment; the all-important wireless internet connectivity.

We are good to go, my first day has begun.

A triplicate is one not three

Double Hotel Jeopardy

Back to my hotel where the thought that I would checking out in four days is the comfort I have from what makes this place a real-life Fawlty Towers.

I know I would not be returning to this hotel and neither would it receive a word of recommendation from me.

This hotel is in fact two hotels combined in one, one side being an aparthotel – a hotel of apartments called Riu Flamingo and the other part is a hotel of rooms called Riu Papayas.

If you are on foot, you will have to go through the Riu Flamingo hotel to get to he Riu Papayas part, we share the restaurant, entertainment and recreational places such that if you are served you have to give your room number and hotel you are staying in.

It would have been easier to prefix the rooms on one side with a 1 and that way they automatically know which hotel you are in.

Sick bag breakfast

The breakfast is usually quite bland that I have taken to waking up late and going out for a full English breakfast where a real-life Barbara Windsor (Peggy Mitchell) figure and better, of German extraction but the most welcoming, friendly and engaging lady of the house serves with the comforting accent of a European polyglot.

Moby’s Restaurant is about a 20-minute walk from my hotel, but I have to go through the Yumbo Centre to pick my daily which is hardly a morning paper but a brunch one. The Daily Telegraph never arrives on time for all sorts of reasons, I have been sentenced to reading either the Daily Mail or The Guardian in the absence of my newspaper – I love reading my paper at breakfast which is usually straddling the noon hours.

Moby’s Restaurant is on Avenida de Tirajana just beneath the Tenesor Apartments and you would always be welcome there, good value, variety and a big screen for football if you are so inclined.

Triplicates are for a reason

So, this morning I needed to do some ironing and after so much sign language short of sticking up a finger we came to an understanding that I needed an iron which I have to take back to my room and then move the bed a good 1.5 metres to get the cord in the wall socket which is cleverly concealed behind the television – the room is a tortuous restriction, I might as well be in a prison cell and I would have a lot more wall sockets.

I also have some laundry to do which I have to put out on Monday before 9:00AM, I would set the alarm to get up that early. I did not find any laundry slips in my room, so I asked for one only to note that the slips which are supposed to be filled in triplicate had been split so each bag had a white, pink or yellow slip.

I explained to the concierge that these things should be done in triplicate such that the white copy goes to the laundry, the pink goes to hotel administration and I retain the yellow copy to ensure my goods are safe and make the right payments.

He would hear none of it, he said, it was no more necessary, the new system was just to have one slip of the triplicate and everything else is based on trust, I would suppose.

He could not however explain to me why the mini-bar had the “old” system of triplicate forms but the laundry had just one – it makes you wonder where they get such sub-standard staff from who believe in fudging the detail and dissimulation rather than be corrected and do the right thing.

Never without Palace

There is no doubt that this double-hotel is staffed with customer-facing cretins and intelligent house-keepers, there is a split when it comes to the night-duty personnel, the one on the Riu Papayas end seems to be a very amicable person, the other on the Riu Flamingo would lie to your face – I wanted to report the issue to the manager but decided the hierarchy must be as rotten as what I encounter.

Good managers hardly end up with rotten staff, I may be wrong. Never again for Riu Papayas, Riu Flamingo and any counterpart that does not include “Palace” in the name.

In Playa del Ingles, Riu Palace Maspalomas is very much the hotel with class, the Grand Palace variety is too way out of the town centre to get a look in.