What they see they see
What people’s
impressions of me vary to the extent that I mustn't allow
those viewpoints to influence or constitute my mode of expression. To be viewed
as truculent, easily annoyed, and quick to take offence can only be a failure
to invest in knowing me rather than one indicative of who I am.
I know the people I
have intentionally given the cold shoulder and I have more fingers to count on one hand
after I have accounted for them. I endured years of drunken opinions
of seething disdain he became one of whom it was expedient to ensure any
future dealings were terminated, after an unequal and trying
friendship of just over two decades.
A gardener weeding
engagements
I am not a difficult
person to get along with, I however actively curate liaisons, acquaintances,
friendships, and engagements, knowing what to cultivate and what to leave to lie fallow and allow to be reduced to insignificance. Frequently, it is not a
reflection on them but a realisation that nothing worthwhile is to be
gained from the continued relationship after inadequacy and frustration.
Maybe as an
individual, I am quirky and strange, probably funny in a certain way, the things
I allow to bother me are looking to be a better person and I am beginning
to understand I need grace more than discipline. I might even consider
counselling and therapy for some things, but those are personal journeys
that anyone else might well find some profitable development for themselves.
Mirrors of keen expression
What I find
insightful is and this might come as a surprise because, in this same blog post, I have suggested one aspect is not a reflection in terms of the choices of
engagement, but a clear reflection if reviewed with introspection is the way
people think about you might well be something about themselves too, their
needs, their interests, perish the thought about their neediness or their insecurities
which they then project on you as unfulfilling of a certain expectation.
How you maintain your
composure when confronted with such situations becomes part of the development
of character. It can be overlooked or ignored though there are times when a
frankness of opinion might be bruising but immensely helpful, daily, I seek
wisdom in knowing when either is right. One can argue that discernment may
not be present in the state of inebriation which I never indulge or when aroused
from a state of the soporific that is required in typical circadian rhythms.
Gun control of
tempers frayed
Invariably, I am usually
not annoyed when people think I am annoyed, I am usually annoyed because people
assume I am, out of some work in their relationship that they need to
work on, and then project that onto me as some inadequacy, I guess that is a trigger
as much as a gun needs one along with good gun keeping by ensuring the safety
is always on, just in case the gun falls into the hands of a two-year-old, of
whom you cannot easily demand they give you back the gun as you would a
harmless thing.
Why am I writing this
blog? Just a few thoughts about the fact that making some allowances for
everyone might help in understanding better rather than misunderstanding
leading to bizarre conclusions. This month marks 4 decades of many things
including a very cherished friendship if my memory serves me right. Anyway,
like Pontius Pilate did say, I have written that I have written.
