Coronavirus streets in Manchester - XLIX

Booked to rights

The first sign of recovery, I was already thinking of where to have brunch and I booked a table with Trove at Ancoats. Their booking principle reminds me of the principle that governs the computer networking facility to prevent Denial of Service (DoS) attacks.

You are free to book a table, but you have to submit your credit card details from which a fee is deducted for a no-show. There is also a time limit on your use of the table for an hour. That way, anyone who decides to book all tables may deprive the restaurant of custom, but not of revenue.

The Denial-of-Service attack principle takes up all resources to contact a website but is not committed, a commitment is demanded in mitigation which if not fulfilled is denied, freeing up the website from being overwhelmed.

A pandemic forgotten

I arrived masked up, not that I noticed any of the customers masking up at, the ones that came to buy bread or the some sat at tables. Though it was a bit disconcerting to see someone who until who opened her mouth ajar in a big yawn without bothering to shield or cover the cavernous depths of that cavity departing the epithet of lady to suddenly and shockingly too. The cough that came after was not disguised, expelling to the air everything and anything.

We seem to have forgotten there is still a pandemic out here and out there, even more importantly is the need for the consideration of others if one should expect some manners of a sort. I comforted myself with appreciating the distance between us and settled into my breakfast of eggs benedict with cavolo nero, better known as Italian kale.

From mobile to paper

Walking back through Arndale Shopping Centre, expectations were low for any pandemic precautions, I did what I needed to do and was on my way home. Then I passed two elderly men appearing lost and trying to find their bearings to some place.

We have long been using Google Maps they had a book I probably last used twenty-something years ago, an A-to-Z Street Atlas for Manchester. I did not know they were still in print, the latest version on Amazon was printed in 1999. Current, it won’t be, by a long stretch, except in old Manchester city and its environs.

Thought Picnic: Addressing irresponsible Facebook communication

Good manners still matter

I have at times had the misfortune of learning of the death of someone known to me on social media, however, I have hoped that the closest relations of the deceased did not suffer the indifference and insensitivity of being informed through the same medium.

It is just good manners to inform the bereaved on a more personal basis rather than have them collide with a wall of grief from a public and impersonal medium. Besides, I take cognisance of my cultural affinities that suggests news of deaths must never be conveyed with bluntness to the closest relations of the deceased either in informing them or in enquiring from them.

Wisdom and sensitivity applied

I remember a conversation I had with a close uncle over a decade ago, he did not know if I was aware that a cousin of mine had passed on, he did not blurt it out, rather he made a passing reference to my cousin that would have elicited a response or a question from me. The response would have indicated I knew, the question would have suggested I was oblivious to the death and then he would with wisdom settle me down before telling me.

I am writing this blog because after the episode yesterday, it is necessary to revisit the matter because I am quite incensed and annoyed. Another uncle of mine should have known better to be smart and wise about enquiring of me from my sister without putting them in unnecessary and preventable distress.

Blog - Please, confirm is it true that Akin Akintayo is no more ...?

Utterly inexcusable conduct

I appreciate social media provides such ease of communication, the ease is no license to dispense with discretion, manners, decorum, sensitivity and empathy, all of which in my view was lacking from the question asked yesterday that it is contemptible and should be excoriated in the sternest terms.

Nothing makes the act of that distant relation uncle forgivable in the slightest, it was utterly irresponsible and reprehensible conduct. I have elderly parents, I would not want to predecease them, even as I am aware of my vulnerabilities and mortality.

The excuse is not social media or Facebook, it is just plain uncouth behaviour and bad manners channelled through a medium of expression.

The ease that social media grants for communication is neither license nor permission to be indiscreet, inconsiderate or uncultured.

— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ (@forakin) April 17, 2018

Opinion: Why Donald Trump is no worthy example

What in a leader, I seek

With great difficulty but resignation to the reality, I have come to accept that Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America. However, my respect for the office of a head of state may not necessarily translate to the respect for the occupier of that office.

When I see a leader, I want to be inspired, I want to be encouraged, I want to be challenged to see a greater and better side of humanity exemplified in the words, the acts and the activities of people who lead. Now, Donald Trump is successful and wealthy, he has clout and access to places I probably would never visit, but an achievement is no sign or embodiment of character or virtue.

I look up to people for what I can learn of their humanity, their compassion, their empathy and their ability to relate in sincerity to others, taking due consideration of others even to their own disadvantage because they see a greater purpose than themselves.

Not this man

I am afraid that Donald Trump does not embody virtue, character, goodness, favour or attribute that persuades me of example or conduct that deserves followership even though many do believe in his agenda.

One of the greatest exchanges in the interaction between people is respect, respect for the person, respect for their views, respect for their space, respect for who they are regardless of position or achievement.

I see people who have worked for Donald Trump from Sally Yates, James Comey and Reince Priebus who were unceremoniously sacked and vilified in their sacking. A complete lack of courtesy and reflection in calling Sally Yates unpatriotic because she respected the law rather than the person. James Comey was on official duty thousands of miles away when you saw on television that he had been sacked and Reince Priebus who probably learnt via a Tweet today that he had been replaced. [Apparently, Reince Priebus resigned privately yesterday.]

Recently, Donald Trump has taken to undermining and attacking his Attorney General, Senator Jeff Sessions, who happens to be the very first major politician to back his bid for the White House and has remained staunchly loyal to the President. He publicly stated that he was disappointed with his Attorney General.

The measure of a man

My view of Donald Trump is summarised in this quote from J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter The Goblet of Fire, “If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” [GoodReads]

That is the measure of the man that Donald Trump is, a man unable to inspire and between his ego and himself, he conspires to exhibit the worst in manners, comportment or courtesy. That a man is rich and successful does not automatically confer class and decorum on the person. He, by terms, is caught in the personification of a Shakespearean insult, “Highly fed and lowly taught.” That in itself is almost a glowing compliment of Donald Trump.

Don’t stomach it

Personally, I think any person should know when to walk away from discourtesy, disrespect, humiliation, belittlement or indifference. It takes a great sense of self and self-esteem to walk away in the face of possible loss of status, means and opportunity, but if proximity to power saps you of free agency, independence and initiative, you have to decide whether it is worth keeping up appearances or giving respite to your sanity.

In my over 30-year career, I have worked with and for a broad spectrum of people, some amazing and others absolutely rotten. When I have had to walk, I have walked rather than suffer in silence. It is a tribute to my upbringing that I have been able to have the courage of my convictions even I am not always right, that is for my own conscience to deal with.

Revile bad example

My main concern with Donald Trump is how his behaviour sets no good examples and it can easily inspire the gullible, the malleable, the easily led and the mob to similar conduct. That bothers me more than anything else, when people are not respectful, when they are not considerate, when reasonableness gives way to the unreasonable and when being disagreeable is the default stance of communication, it does not augur well for the impressionable or anyone else, it brings an uncomfortable coarseness into our relationships.

We need to rescue ourselves from this crassness before it becomes second nature. I pray it never becomes common place. Maybe parents would start turning off the television in order not to subject their wards to the characteristics of the likes of Donald Trump. It can only be necessary for a better humanity.

Essential Snobbery 101: Simply respecting others

For all that is simply human

In this modern age, where technology has become such a distraction that certain elements of human interaction are lost to engagement with electronic devices, one could be forgiven for the sense of shock that overwhelms when strangers are encountered.

By this I mean, certain generational shifts have deprived people of the richness of communication in facial expression, the art of conversation, the use of language, and, if one were not to be too greedy, the finesse of politeness.

Already, I might be considered old-fashioned, for the simple reason that I put my electronic devices away when I am walking the streets, and I would definitely never be looking at a device when I am crossing the road. I never wear earphones in both ears to deprive me of the perception of my environment.

People are everything

When I meet people, I want to engage with them; my electronic device does not have to be a part of the crowd. We diminish our necessary heightened sense of perception and spatial awareness when we ignore our surroundings to concentrate on the world of our electronic devices, and we become oblivious and endangered.

People forget they are standing in the way because they have not developed the communal skill of consideration and presence, the concept of knowing that a public space is, in fact, public, requiring possession and allowance in equal measure, being aware of what is in front and around you, just in case you walk into someone, a ditch or a pole.

Sadly, some have walked into harm and fatality just because they had become unaware of the dangers around them, hoping they could pass that responsibility on to others, when each individual is responsible for how they access a public space.

Treat strangers politely

However, what irks me most is those who, without greeting, introduction, conversation, or acquaintance, arrogate to themselves an entitlement to ask personal and private questions, expecting answers.

I would be too stunned to react in any useful way to such rudeness. Much I have excused that behaviour from the highly fed and lowly taught of recent times, who probably know no better; it is completely inexcusable of those of my generation. Maybe I am being nostalgic for an era that only existed in my imagination, but I am tempted to believe there was an age of politeness, very middle-class and conforming in many ways.

The simple old ways

You covered your mouth when you coughed or yawned, and covered your nose too, hopefully with a handkerchief when you sneezed. In acknowledging those around you, even as you succumbed to the involuntary acts of nature, like belching, farting or bumping into someone, your minor social violations suggest you ask for forgiveness, expressing regret, and you will be acknowledged with respect.

Respect, that is, the due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others, has all become something of a rarity. We begin to wonder whether social graces were never taught, or people just feel too entitled to be bothered about others. It is not something I understand at all.

Yet, we must remind ourselves on occasion that we are social beings and hope that the better side of our humanity will not be lost to the passing of the times.

Essential Snobbery 101: David Cameron was being silly

In company of class

I arrived home yesterday to the conversation recorded between Her Majesty, The Queen, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Prime Minister, the Leader of the House of Commons and the Speaker of the House of Commons.

The Prime Minister, after being introduced by the Speaker to the Queen, decided to engage in small-talk (polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions) with the Queen, and this would have been separate from the formal weekly audience with the Queen, where the Prime Minister visits the Queen in camera to discuss matters of state.

Quite nasty talk

As the camera rolled, capturing this seemingly private banter, the microphones, hot and ready, picked up a declension into unguarded commentary by a Prime Minister who once had a life in public relations. Almost boastfully boisterous as if to show familiarity and ease before royalty, he declared, “We've got some leaders of some fantastically corrupt countries coming to Britain ... Nigeria and Afghanistan, possibly the two most corrupt countries in the world.” [BBC News]

Now, there is no doubt that Nigeria and Afghanistan have great and almost overwhelming problems with corruption. The Prime Minister had invited the leaders of these countries to his much vaunted anti-corruption summit, and it now appeared that he had in mind to ridicule them for the problems in their countries.

Reprehensible indiscretions

On the one hand, this kind of banter, which skirts the bounds of the typically politely rude English, also smacks of old colonial snobbery of the worst kind. The very kind where someone jocularly abuses, insults and offends you and then pats you on the back with the faux-sympathetic apology of not meaning to hurt you.

On the other hand, as we observed of George Osborne some years before, it is the kind of indiscretion that obtains from public school-educated toffs who fawn obsequiously in the presence of royalty or money, people who have a heightened sense of self but are immediately self-conscious in the presence of those whom, for one reason or another, they deem their betters.

Blog - Discretion still matters

Fishing for laughs

Now, the well-educated Englishman usually got away with utterly bad manners as a matter of status, class and privilege. Their misdemeanours happen behind closed doors with witnesses holding their peace in disgust and disapproval, but shine a public spotlight on any of this, and it stinks to the high heavens of odium most vile.

The Archbishop, given to circumspection, interjected, saying, “But this particular president is not corrupt... he's trying very hard” The Queen concurred, before the Speaker, hoping to make a joke of the slight and bring humour to obloquy, then asked, “They are coming at their own expense, one assumes?”

This would have been funny if it were not to add insult to injury, the Speaker aping the Prime Minister in an off-hand game of attempting to amuse the Queen.

Just a silly boy

The end result of this contemptuous activity was that it became the headline news of every media outlet and the papers the next day. Quite unbecoming, very uncouth and socially maladroit, one could almost subscribe to the conspiracy that this was deployed intentionally by the Prime Minister to take Brexit away from being the centre of cynosure for a day or more.

Yet, it can only be one thing, a silly boy trying to show off and slipping on a banana skin, a spectacle with a necessary sense of schadenfreude. Aside from all the offence caused, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that David Cameron has been a rather silly little boy. Even if you could get a good laugh, some thoughts are best left unspoken.

Essential Snobbery 101: To reach and to retch

Friends frightened

Sometimes, a good telling off will not eventually end up with smiles or friendship in the future, and this is what I meet each morning on the train: the stony-faced silence of people I have upbraided for bad behaviour in a public place.

Some have been subjects of my Essential Snobbery 101 blogs, not only in the way I told them off for putting their fully shod feet on seats, but also for the way they responded and reacted to being told they were in the wrong.

The trains also have a way of bringing together a broad spectrum of society, from the well-groomed to the unsophisticated, all of whom one can find a means to engage and converse with; it is the downright dirty that leaves one literally weak and speechless.

Of the yuckiest sort

This morning, I sat across from such a person, as I was leafing through my issue of The Week magazine, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stick a finger in his nose, bring out a string of the yuckiest colour of mucus and deposit it in his mouth.

I can only wonder why I was destined to be a witness to this nauseating spectacle, but there was more to the problem than I had to resist the urge to look again. He had a sniffling, running nose and nothing with which to blow his nose, so he devised this means of rubbing his nose with the sides of his forefinger and discreetly licking it off, like a cat grooming itself with its paw.

The only thing was, it was neither discreet nor surreptitious, and it makes you wonder about where the age-old parenting and community moderation breeding fell off the rails. Things like covering your mouth when you cough or yawn, sneezing into a handkerchief and well, not picking your nose – at least not in public.

Some good old advice

I guess many do subconsciously pick their noses and do nasty unprintable things with the stuff, and I am not against people doing what they are wont to away from the public glare, as it will cause no revulsion in others who are unequipped for the ultimate reaction to the revolting, which is reaching for a sick bag and retching uncontrollably until emesis creates a total evacuation of food seen again after mastication.

It makes one suggest that every man and boy, just as the girls and the ladies do, must never leave home without a handy pack of tissues for the emergency of blowing their noses.

Much as this matter called for an intervention, as I was quite ready to throw my pack of tissues onto the paper he was reading rather than politely offer him a sheet or two to blow his nose. It would have been almost too aggressive, but I cannot end up making so many enemies on the train just because I am being old-fashioned. The times have indeed changed. Good manners in public are too much of a rarity today.

Essential Snobbery 101: On good manners and seats

Well brought up

I grew up in a different time, or rather, I was brought up differently, and I am constantly met with the shock of contemporary attitudes and behaviour that the worldview I inhabit finds quite grating.

The reason why the different time matters is almost irrelevant, because I see people of my age behave in ways that leave much to be desired, so it must be the different way that is more significant.

I do not believe that certain things should become old-fashioned, be consigned to conservativeness and passed off as traditional values. Self-awareness and consideration of others still matter a great deal; besides the fact that manners should never be negotiable, they must be acquired at all costs and deployed at every opportunity.

Give up your seat

Yet today, as I sat on the train, an elderly lady boarded the train at the next stop carrying some luggage; it did not appear she was helped on, and there was no place for her to sit.

Even though I use a cane, I could not watch her standing, holding on for dear life as the train began to move. The many able-bodied people around us remained decidedly oblivious of her out of ignorance, the absence of breeding or sheer selfishness.

I got up and gave her my seat, which is what any well-taught person is supposed to do, at least, in the different way I was brought up. It was another two stops, some 20 minutes later, before a seat became vacant for me to sit down.

Make all allowances

Meanwhile, further along the carriage, there was a heavily pregnant woman who, in another time, would have been ushered to take a seat somewhere in the carriage. Someone would have initiated the move and asked another to give up their seat. The person giving up their seat, seeing the condition of the woman, would have happily obliged.

However, this appears to belong to a bygone age, people rush for priority seats, literally tripping up less able people in their race to be comfortable at the expense of seemingly more deserving people, and they hardly ever care when reminded of the fact that the notices do state an incontrovertible fact.

On good manners

Ladies are surprised when I take off my hat to chat to them, some might even take offence if you open the door for them or if you ascribe to the chivalry of ‘Ladies first’. Other bad habits like coughing and yawning without covering your mouth, eating on the street, elbows on the table – the list is endless, make one think we have become a global village of the uncouth and uncultured with air, grace, comportment or finesse.

Rough on all edges that we rub people up the wrong way, quite an appalling reflection on society today. It is not like one wants to rewrite Debrett’s guide on manners, etiquette, protocol, address or dress, but some things are just so, so as to really separate us from the wildness and chaos of the animal kingdom.

As I disembarked at my station, the elderly lady acknowledged me and mouthed a thank you. I tipped my head and smiled. We both knew there was a world we once knew that was fast disappearing from our present-day experiences.

I am saddened writing this, but we have attained, with the absence of certain aspects of social schooling, a level of inconsiderate selfishness where manners are the exception rather than the rule. A shame indeed.

Essential Snobbery 101: How not to seek advice

A sad reflection

The conversation I relayed below left me wondering about where things might have gone so horribly wrong in our society that we are bringing up such uncultured children.

I decided the blame lay first with the parents who are most probably my age mates and then with the educational system in the person in engaged in any at all, the society because it condones the proliferation of such attitudes and primarily with the person, due to circumstances I cannot begin to elicit.

I reproduce the conversation, properly punctuated, because that in itself is necessary for my blog; besides that, this is what transpired in a chat session that others have found to be useful and obtained quite useful advice from just by reason of noting my age and by extension, possibly my experience.

The exchange

Stranger: Can I have some advice?

[I first checked if this was the continuation of an old conversation, because it was almost too familiar; it was not, before I responded.]

Me: Hello. You accost strangers for advice without a greeting or an introduction? I don’t think so.

[Expressing incredulity and offering a typical street analogy in the hope that it might check something in his engagement.

Stranger: OK. I’m just a young lad who wanted help, but thanks.

[The thanks at the end here is not a substitute for good manners; in fact, it does not demonstrate any manners, but rather, it reads more like. Thanks, but no thanks.]

Me: Being young does not excuse bad manners.

Stranger: OK, Never mind. I just wanted help, because I was worried, but never mind, sorry to disturb you.

[Whilst he appears to have relapsed into the submissive, probably a cue and a hint for me to engage, I guess by now, we had literally lost each other. Opening the way for my final message.]

Me: You still don’t get it? Good night.

We both lost an opportunity

The conversation ended without me ever getting to help the young man, and I will probably never know what he contacted me for.

Much as it is probably evident from our short exchanges that the person probably needed help, there was nothing much I could do if we could not establish protocols of engagement, which, in my old-fashioned view of the world, are critical to communicating effectively.

Reading through, he was worried about something, which is why he wanted some help and so invariably sought my advice.

In my responses, I first tried to alert him to the fact that he was going about it the wrong way, then I reinforced that view with the use of the phrase ‘bad manners’ before I resigned, because there was nothing for me to build on.

What we tolerate

Maybe I could have been more patient and attempted to take the young man under my wing just to ensure he does not repeat the error elsewhere, but sadly, at the point in time, I left him as a lost cause. My inflexibility in terms of the need for good manners might have consigned me to a worse fate.

Yet, there is a possibility that I am the only one who noticed; others could have, in the spirit of the times, ignored the situation and gotten on with giving the advice, happy and honoured to be asked in the first place.

Then, before I get consumed in self-flagellation, just imagine what difference it would make to start a conversation in another way?

Stranger: Hello! Please, can I have some advice?

A lot of difference, I say, a world of difference, in fact. My attention undivided, my seriousness applied, my experience engaged, my humanity disposed to being every nice and good disposition I could muster, along with manners reciprocated with respect and consideration.

Allowances to the inflexible?

It bothers me that the quality of conversation and consideration that the ease of communication allows in text messages and social media allows us to dispense with the basic formalities, which still matter and are noticed if deployed.

In a short conversation with my dad using text messages yesterday, I noticed that I had lapsed in standards when, after my greeting and message, I forgot to sign off properly. It is something I immediately realised and was very ready to correct in my next message.

My father had initiated the conversation, and I responded. We both knew we were chatting to each other, yet I felt I had let myself down. At the same time, one must add tolerances and allowances to certain areas of inflexibility.

The accommodation of much beyond the narrow view of things, but at the end of the day, it will still bring us back to the second point I made. “Being young does not excuse bad manners.” No situation or circumstance, in need or in plenty, in pain or in peace, in youth or in elderliness, can excuse bad manners.

Cover your mouth

Yawning pits of death

One would have thought I took the wrong turn on safari around the Limpopo River and now I was looking into the presence of death, the yawning buccal cavity of a rampaging hippopotamus.

Well, in fact, in this day of swine flu scares in faraway lands, the surgical masks keeping the germs from exhalation or inhalation – it was an unreconstructed animal, a being of my species, without manners, so uncouth and lacking in graces, yawning in my face on the tram.

Where is the breeding?

I cannot imagine where these people got brought up, we as kids were taught to cover our mouths with our palms when we yawn, over our mouths with a clenched fist in traverse with thumb facing the mouth when we cough and use a handkerchief when we sneeze with the obligatory excuses.

The sneezing is interesting because almost every language offers a variation of the “God bless you” greeting after a sneeze this is said to derive from one of the many myths of which the one pertaining to Pope Gregory I seems to be the most agreeable to me.

He ordered incessant prayers and chanters through the streets as the bubonic plaque approached Rome and sneezing was thought to be the early sign of infection.

A sneeze is a sign

Nobody, goes around with a pepper shaker and apart from an occasional irritation or reaction, a sneeze is almost as good as something going awry.

However, that is beside the point, these times and all times call for a bit of something that separates us from animals and if I once saw a dog raise its paw to its yawn, it is the least that can be expected of us.

The respiratory droplets are the vector and somehow face masks are helpful, just as covering your mouth is useful.

Always have a handkerchief or tissues in your pocket or handbag, cover your mouths when they are opened for other calls of nature apart from conversation and save everyone the fear of death from your germs just as if one were about to be mauled by the friendly hippo taking a leisurely stroll by the banks of the Limpopo River.

Enough mass hysteria is being created by the spread of swine flu do not instigate an unnecessary stampede as a result of your lack of basic manners.

Cover your gob.

Source

[1] Bless you - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Blogging for my own pleasure

I am the harbour master

I have a seventh floor apartment overlooking two old harbours with amazing views at sunrise, idyllic views at full moon and have once seen two rainbows side-by-side over the water.

People can visit and be wowed by the views, it gives me a sense of satisfaction that I employed real estate agent who took instructions and did her job with excellence and dispatch.

My castle, my rules

I control access to my apartment with a door which I can fling open to invited guests and a few times to strangers, that is my prerogative.

In my apartment, anyone who comes in with soiled shoes can be asked to leave, if I so desire, I can also insist that they take their shoes off expecting no truculence at that request.

I would in many ways offer to entertain, communicate, play games and socialise, such that my guests feel at home, at ease, at peace and in comfort – that is my pleasure.

Worst than armed robbers

If an argument ensues between my guests, I expect that they reckon that they are in my space and courtesy demands that they handle it with maturity that does not mire the atmosphere of friendship and comfort that others enjoy.

One would consider it utterly disrespectful if in they fail to realise that fact and refuse to respond to my entreaties – I can offer to politely walk them out of my apartment and return to apologise to other guests ensuing that that exchange does not become the highlight of their visit.

Basically, one should not be strong-armed in ones apartment, those who do are no better than armed robbers, if not worse if they are known to you.

My dirt don’t take dirt

There might be dust on my television and my windows might appear dirty, I have allowed that to happen for many reasons – I am lazy; I cannot be bothered; I have good intentions but have no time; my cleaner has not realised it should be done and probably more.

If that condition is observed, you are welcome to pick up a duster or cleaning rag to clean it up, I would be most grateful and appreciative – I would brook no criticism about the condition of my house – I might take some ribbing in jest, that might be good humour, but I would not be talked down to, regarding those matters.

When, I entertain guests, they are free in my house and if they are staying, they are welcome to my home – like they say, an Englishman’s home is his castle.

My blog – my Internet castle

So, are my blog and the blogs that anyone cares to visit – the way in which people use the commenting license to behave as uncultured, uncouth and misbehaving guests is becoming a matter of concern with blogs of friends.

Each person’s blog is their fiefdom, their open access to un-moderated commentary should not be used to behave like drunken, ill-mannered miscreants – knowledgeable and intelligent people comment and dispute on the ideas without abusing the personality.

I once commented somewhere that if the contributor cannot praise, they should attempt to damn with praise, else say nothing.

Use your own toilet

In the end, if the blog is not yours, it is the best of good manners to portray yourself with maturity, dignity and honour – virtues I hope exist in copious amounts in all mankind – if less, well, we should not begin to touch the manner of your breeding or upbringing – that would be getting too truthfully personal.