Boy weakness when man strength is required

What am I to do?

It is probably one of those feelings of helpless abandon when one is overcome with some incapacity or infirmity, the inability to complete a task.

Earlier this evening I thought of putting together another concoction with my NutriBullet blender, I almost foresaw the end of my impending pleasure as I screwed on the blade assembly to the beaker, that last twist did it.

I had meticulously taken off the hard brown skin of the coconut pieces just to use the white solid of the coconut, poured in milk, then vanilla yoghurt, some garlic flakes, almond flakes and hulled sesame seeds.

I thought of adding some organic honey but forgot and screwed the assembly shut and set it on the NutriBullet blender for a few minutes. In the last week, I have had a few portions of this delicious food-drink for dinner and liked it.

For now, I can’t do it

However, my frustration is compounded by the fact that for the past 90 minutes I have been unable to unscrew the assembly and have my drink. I even tried putting the assembly in hot water without must success, it is all plastic.

Progressively, I have realised that my grip and twisting strength has been failing to be efficacious at the first few tries, but this has been the worst experience of realising I cannot do a simple domestic activity and yet it is no one to call in the emergency services.

I probably will get to open it eventually, though I have one had a lady in the house do what essentially we would expect a man to do without a fuss. I have my weaknesses and really, I am not afraid to ask for help, it gets difficult things done.

Postscript:

I thought of this over an hour ago, I finally donned my Roeckl leather gloves which are stowed away for the winter, this gave me the grip I needed for the twisting action I required. I will have the pleasure of the food-drink and have this in mind for the next time.

Nigeria: To a boy most things are forgiven, but to a man, more is expected

An education without history

As the Germans destroyed the assumed mythical status of Brazilian football with a 7 – 1 rout, we all took to Twitter, sharing wit, puns, jokes and memes, some funny, others not so, but the whole atmosphere was marred by a rather tasteless and ‘stupid’ tweet.

I do not intend to reproduce that tweet here because it reeks of odium unparalleled that words fail me.

Now, the perpetrator is a young and rising star in the Nigerian political system, many of us just between what might be the uncle to the parent age with reference to him have found reasons to commend and respect him for his achievements.

In many cases, we may not have been in agreement, but there has been no reason to be disagreeable, he has always held his official brief well and that is worthy of every recognition.

Looking for mitigating circumstances

Yet, having changed masters from a demur Sports and Youth Federal Minister to one who with the brief of Minister of State of Defence whose supposed education and political experience fails to reflect in his tactless and somewhat undiplomatic screeches on Twitter about terrorism in Nigeria, I fear that some of that doltishness has rubbed off on him.

In an unguarded moment, he tweeted what would not be heard in polite society in Europe for as far as the eye can see and this repugnant phrase has not been heralded in public settings since April 30^th 1945.

Ears are for listening

Immediately, those who cared called it out, and this is where you know a man; one with character, one with principle and dare I say, one with integrity. When a fault or wrong is pointed out, not as a voice of common antagonism, but one of clear reason and reasonableness, you reflect, review and gracefully regret error.

Sadly, he dug in, with obduracy, obstinacy and bewildering stupidity, flailing with bluster and braggadocio as a typical Nigerian politician blown adrift like a rainless cloud because it is not anchored in the realism of truth and facts.

Boy came out of the man

Maybe I am being overly harsh on the boy, because I as a boy, he can be excused many things, a lack of knowledge of history which in a man we would call ignorance, a lack of the ability to reflect, which in a man we would call arrogance, and the inability to say sorry, which in a boy would be a clear sign of immaturity.

Worst still, I would hate to extrapolate this event and suggest that many of the youth that I follow and engage with on many forums are prone to this absentmindedness of the powerful to realise that one does stoop to conquer, that one is wise to know that when in a hole you stop digging and that being regretful and sorry is hardly as sign of weakness, but one of strength, even if it is not obvious to the person involved.

One still hopes

Yet, one of the greater qualities of youthfulness is not one of aging but in the ability to learn, the presence of a teachable spirit and to know that one can change if a path to being better is found.

Yesterday, I tweeted extensively about A Man for All Seasons, the character analysis of Sir Thomas More contrasted with Richard Rich with the somewhat reactionary William Roper in the middle of some very insightful exchanges, the subject like one handed a rope to save himself has pulled towards Rich than towards More.

I close with one of the tweets I posted on the issue. “It is amazing what seemingly inconsequential things show the true integrity and character of a man and it can be so damaging.” It needn’t have needed much commentary; to a boy all is forgiven for out of him might grow a man of all seasons, but to a man, much more is expected lest he be judged a man of no season.

I recommend anyone entering politics or anyone and battling with issues of conscience, duty and allegiance consider watching A Man for All Seasons (Film), on Amazon (DVD) and (Streaming).

Thought Picnic: Using a putdown as a bridal bouquet

Starting with the alphabet

It is usually amusing to have to try and break down into fundamental parts the writings on my blog for the comprehension of people who do not bother to read and understand the points I am trying to convey.

I would be the first to admit that my writing hardly caters for the lowest common denominator of language or expression but I do take my time to clearly state my views and when controversial find a sense of balance.

There is no doubt that there are people who feel that the withdrawal of the Nigerian football teams from international competitions by the President is wrong – what has been missing from their clamour are clear reasons why they think he was wrong.

Scavengers are vermin

My blog on Questioning the FIFA Hegemony yesterday was written to offer exceptions to the FIFA rule of no political interference in national football associations with clearly documented examples of Togo, France and Nigeria.

A good blogging friend decided to highlight my blog as an excellent piece on Facebook and before you knew it, vultures descended on it, dismissed it out of hand and offered no objective counterpoint to the views raised.

That is what I find most irksome, seemingly intelligent people who yap and bark rather than foster an atmosphere for discourse with constructive input.

Distracted by a lack of comprehension

So, it was only right for me to suggest that certain readers might have been distracted by a lack of comprehension so evident from their comments to which one responded without first wondering if he really had missed the context of my blog by suggesting what I had written was stupidity beyond words, he had earlier said I was talking trash.

That left me with no other option but to state that the blog could not be recomposed on Facebook to accommodate intellect below par all by reason of the fact that the exchanges did not address with any sense of understanding of the matters raised in my blog.

In some ways, my less than courteous statements were flung out like a bridal bouquet and the over-exuberant bridesmaid made a lunge for it tripping over her shoes.

As a matter of principle, I never set out to patronise anyone nor do I enjoy the prospect of belittling people either, but when such persons make a blatant show of common breeding unworthy of gentlemen, it simply sets the stage for a gentle English putdown; the sad end of the tale is what once looked like a man is really a boy – and boys rarely ever understand when men speak.

Nigeria: Islam strongly discourages polygamy

On the trail to Imam-ship

It is a shame that a religious organisation failed to take the opportunity [1] to deal with a situation with objectivity, fairness and a sense of proportion.

Now, I find myself flipping through the pages of their own religious tome and ready to debunk accepted assertions which have been interpreted to suit the whims of men rather than the seeming divine purpose for which the verses were offered as inspiration.

On the matter of the Senator who took for a wife a 13-year old girl, I first argued that despite the moral outrage it garnered there were enough loopholes in the Nigerian constitution, the Marriage Act and the non-adoption of the Child Rights Act to allow for the marriage to be legal and not be subject to the Criminal Code.

A man’s lust over religious law

However, when the Senator decided to hide under the cloak of religion and the protection of Sharia Law, it brought on the fact that Sharia Law or any religious law was incompatible with civil society and took away from the state the ability to think for itself whilst it impacted unduly on the expressed freedom of the people.

In what that Senator said, there was scope for him to be sanctioned by any of the religious authorities of his faith for creating a situation that could bring the religion into disrepute (Something football associations would do without flinching to participants of the game) and for comparing himself to the Prophet Mohammed in trying to justify his now in modern times reprehensible action.

Unfortunately, the Supreme Council of Sharia in Nigeria (SCSN) Kaduna State chapter has advised the Senator not to honour invitations by the authorities to defend his marriage to a juvenile and put up the defence of a verse in the Qur’an that had me digging for truth.

Not what the Qur’an says

Apparently, as they say, “Islam encourages men to marry women of their choice as mentioned in Qur’an 4 verse 2 without any emphasis on age limit.”

Forgive me if I am petulant as to ask if a woman is a direct substitute for female, such that I can call a female baby a woman or a girl a woman – I sure would not call a female of 13 a woman, just as I would not call a male of 13 a man. Generally, that would be a girl or a boy, but we have been asked to stretch the limits of credulity.

The Qur’an 4 verse 2 [2] finds me bereft of the connection between the interpretation and what the verse says.

Here, I have Arabic and 4 different English translations of the verse and all pertain to the care of orphans

2	وَآتُواْ الْيَتَامَى أَمْوَالَهُمْ وَلاَ تَتَبَدَّلُواْ الْخَبِيثَ بِالطَّيِّبِ وَلاَ تَأْكُلُواْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ إِلَى أَمْوَالِكُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ حُوباً كَبِيراً

Shakir 4:2

And give to the orphans their property, and do not substitute worthless (things) for (their) good (ones), and do not devour their property (as an addition) to your own property; this is surely a great crime.

yusufali 4:2

To orphans restore their property (When they reach their age), nor substitute (your) worthless things for (their) good ones; and devour not their substance (by mixing it up) with your own. For this is indeed a great sin.

Pickthal 4:2

Give unto orphans their wealth. Exchange not the good for the bad (in your management thereof) nor absorb their wealth into your own wealth. Lo! that would be a great sin.

Al-Hilali 4:2

And give unto orphans their property and do not exchange (your) bad things for (their) good ones; and devour not their substance (by adding it) to your substance. Surely, this is a great sin.

But if the learned members of the Supreme Council of Sharia in Nigeria (SCSN) Kaduna State chapter are now saying by reason of the use of acquisitive words as property and substance a woman is of such material value – that would be unfortunate.

Polygamy is marrying the widowed mothers

The oft touted justification for polygamy comes in the next verse and it bears no similarity to the activities of those with many wives.

Still continuing on the subject of orphans it says [3]

[4:3] If you deem it best for the orphans, you may marry their mothers - you may marry two, three, or four. If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one, or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to avoid financial hardship.

A detailed commentary on that verse [4] asserts historical sources to say that the Prophet Mohammed only married the aged widows of friends who had many children to help offer a fatherly setting for the upbringing of the children, the other marriages were to establish specific ties or political alliances.

And now, the same verses [5] in Arabic and 4 English translations

3	وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ

Shakir 4:3

And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.

yusufali 4:3

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

Pickthal 4:3

And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.

Al-Hilali 4:3

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.

Still, one wife is best

The greater admonition is to avoid having more than one wife than to revel in polygamous abandon and at least this is for the care of orphans which by inference appears to mean those who have just lost their fathers as opposed to those who have lost all parents.

Marrying more than one wife is a costly venture but the subject of orphans continues on to verse 6 and it is clear that the orphans are children, they are immature, they cannot inherit their substance until a particular age and are definitely not to be taken as wives.

It would appear the juxtaposition of orphans, women and marriage really only pertains to polygamy in the marriage to widowed mothers and nothing else. Even I never expected the Qu’ran to be that prescriptive and then to find that it has been misused to satisfy the proclivities of sexually perverse men – unbelievable.

You can never be a successful polygamist

The whole of Sura (Chapter) 4 Al-Nesaa, appears to deal with the subject of women, orphans, marriage and matters of the family and down at verse 129, it says without equivocation, you can never be a successful polygamist no matter how much you try and it is better you do not create the situation where you fall foul of God’s law. But no, satisfying the lust first before the law has always been the way of man.

129	وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُواْ أَن تَعْدِلُواْ بَيْنَ النِّسَاء وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلاَ تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِن تُصْلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً

Shakir 4:129

And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish (it), but be not disinclined (from one) with total disinclination, so that you leave her as it were in suspense; and if you effect a reconciliation and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

yusufali 4:129

Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

Pickthal 4:129

Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.

Al-Hilali 4:129

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allâh by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allâh is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Sadly, it is the men, the leaders and representatives of the religion that are bringing their holy faiths into disrepute by their actions and where they should speak up for the truth they have succumbed to sentiment and deplorable conduct that finds no backing from the holy tomes they take their teaching from.

Surely, for such hypocrisy that can be no better reward than eternal damnation.

Sources

[1] Leadership Nigeria - For God and Country: Don’t Honour Invitations, Muslim Group Tells Yarima

[2] TheQuran.com - Read, إقرأ: 4:2

[3] The Authorized English Translation of the Quran,Qur'an, Koran- Sura - 4 , Women (Al-Nesaa'), translated from the original by Dr. Rashad Khalifa, Ph.D.  A most enlightening translation of the chapter.

[4] The Islamic Calendars and Others- Understanding, calculating Ramadan, Hajj and other Islamic events-Hilal-Crescent-new-Calendar-dates-Prophet Muhammed, Mohammed-Islam (Submission)-Hadith and Sunna in Islam (Submission)- Ahadith-Sunnah-Quran, Qur'an, Koran

[5] TheQuran.com - Read, إقرأ: 4:3

[6] TheQuran.com - Read, إقرأ: 4:129

Thought Picnic: Kids having kids

Break a bottle or two

Just consider a situation where a parent walked into a vintage wines shop where the average price of a bottle was for instance $2,000, just to satisfy their curiosity. Having in tow a toddler or even an adolescent child who then decides to try juggling bottles of Chateau Lafite 1954 as he saw on a cocktail demonstration on television.

Or maybe just a crockery shop where the child just takes plates off the shelf without care or concern, I would assume the parent would exercise authority with a firm caution and possible reprimand knowing that the damage caused by the child would be exacted in penalties against them.

The proud father at 13

My Though Picnic revolves around parent, child, responsibility and consequences.

The news looked interesting enough, a 13-year old boy in the UK had just become a father, the picture that appeared in the papers had father looking not a day over 9 and mother who is 15 looking like his really big sister and daughter born after the bird and the bees moved off the trees into some serious reality.

Apparently, the girl fell pregnant after having sex with her boyfriend – but the pictures also showed how girls who mature earlier than boys made this look like a family photo of siblings rather than parents and child.

An ancestry almost vile

The grandparents of the new born baby who have no discernable income apart from that of the lowly paid paternal grandfather makes the story all the more saddening and visiting an indictment on what our society has become.

None of the grandparents are in a normal family setting, all divorced and separated; something was definitely missing in the early education of the new parents.

First of all is the matter of consequence – sex between kids barely adolescent can produce, wait for it – A PREGNANCY. Then the matter of responsibility, what do these kids know of fending for themselves before ending up with a child?

Then being from broken homes with jobless separated parents on welfare, this piece of news generates more odium than should be accorded the little bundle of joy that is the result of a complete breakdown of responsibility.

Responsibility and consequence

It is very much like a few broken bottles or plates in the shops visited by the parents with their child only that now in the case of a teenage pregnancy and baby the parents are not being held accountable to the point of exacting costs and penalties.

There is no telling that if I were to engage in a business transaction that needed financing the source of finance would enquire of my ability to maintain payments through all sorts verification and authentication.

With the news of the single mother of six children living in a 3-bedroom apartment with her parents now having octuplets through in-vitro fertilisation treatment the question of affordability following responsibility cannot be overlooked.

Affording your children

People should just not have children beyond their ability to offer a good environment for upbringing without relying on charity or welfare. For many, the birth of a child might be a divine gift but the fact is God did not engage in the act of copulation and it required the human-being to adopt a suitable kind of contraception.

There is a case for society creating a means-testing approach to having children just as people are not allowed to drink, drive or vote until they reach a certain age.

Where those societal checks cannot be implemented and enforced then there should be a case of age-related contraceptive neutering – not so much for removing the organs but making the potency of the usage of those organs ineffective until an age of responsibility has been reached.

Time-limited impotence vaccine

Perish the thought that this kind of sexual-organ docility can be introduced through an infant vaccine which wears off as the person approaches 18.

Beyond this, the matter of the 15 year old mother gives cause for concern where her mother allowed her boyfriends to spend the night with her at home – so much so that the 13 year old boy is now asking for a DNA test as proof of paternity because the girl had apparently been offering pleasures to many a man.

At which point I could have fainted with incredulity but this is no time for moralising the matter there is a lot at stack for them, for society and the media-feeding frenzy that now has the grandparents salivating with the thought of making money of the back of this seeming societal tragedy.

No abortion? Then pay up

My biggest wagging finger would however go to the good-intentioned organisations of religious atrocity whose dogmatic adherence to the cult of life abhorring abortion never goes beyond lip service.

Until those organisations really wade into the matter of their principled positions of non-abortion by offering viable and usable care and support through counselling, parental guidance and monetary commitment their noise is piffle and they are hypocrites of the highest order.

No good at all

There is nothing of societal good in having children who cannot fend for themselves having children of their own where even their parents are not effective and beneficial contributors in the society where they belong.

It all lends a lie to the whole moral debate on these matters which can be summarised as follows – parents should provide good sex education to their kids; kids should not be experimenting with sex; if they are then they should have easy access to contraception; kids having kids is just not on and where there is no clear evidence as to how the child would have a life of comfort better than that of those who brought it into the world – adoption is an option whilst abortion should not be ruled out.

Basically, this is serious business, no boy should be proud of being a father at 13, no girl of 15 should be proud of having slept around that the owner of the pregnancy is in dispute, no parent should be seen to be encouraging these kinds of liaisons and no new-born child should be assaulted with the irresponsibility that pervades this sorry tale.

The innocent party to this tale are the child and the octuplets – if only for all that is good in this world they be extricated from the madness into which they have been born which calls for a cold hard look and what is becoming rabid news material but a sad reflection on our sense of responsibility.

Note:

Thought Picnics are a series of random thoughts where thinking the unthinkable becomes part of the conversation to excite debate.

Page turning and sick making

Of children and young men

As the scandal of emails and instant messages threatens to engulf the Republican campaign to great detriment, I begin to wonder what the facts are and how they are being portrayed.

In a question directed to the Speaker of the House of Representatives, the interviewer starts with – “This 16-year old boy who is the young man affected …” the Speaker answers with – “The young man …”

Herein, is the confusion, is the person a child, a boy, a youth, a young man or a man? He is all of that and more.

My voice breaks

There is no doubt that he is an adolescent, which does not make him an adult, he is a teenager and definitely a child of someone – I think it all now depends on the way you look at it.

In terms of criminal responsibility, he is not a child, in terms of sexual development he can father a child, in the scheme of things, he is a boy, as a page, he is a youth, in terms of prospects, he is a young man and when grouped he is a teenager.

In terms of the relationship, he was abused by reason of the exchange between a man of authority and responsibility, had the messages been exchanged between peers, it would have been without event apart from a frank exchange of views involving the headmaster.

At 16, I would have taken offence if anyone had referred to me as a boy or a child, I was already out of secondary school and in polytechnic, though, I had to show my birth certificate because they did not believe I was that young, normally people finished secondary school at 18, my sister finished at 14.

Adults of shame

Anyway, the sad thing developing out of this sad saga of predatory acts against boys, children or young men is the squabble between National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) which has released an amended statement on Mark Foley’s resignation and the National Law Center for Children and Families (NLC) over which organisation is too tightly linked with Congress and who came up with the best ideas for finding missing children.

There is the quality of life of a boy at stake here and the adults of responsibility either in offence or defence are scoring political points against each other – that, I must say is childish. It is all becoming sick-making – I need to see all that food and drink again – Urrggh!

Back to the child, I just hope he is well and well left alone with the support he needs to get on with his life.

Mark Foley on Bill Clinton

Finally, is this the same Mark Foley who said 8 years ago of Bill Clinton during the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal “It's vile, it's more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction.”?

Glass houses and stones seem to have met with a resounding clatter and shatter – how are the mighty fallen. ‘Nuff said.

References

Report: Foley allegedly tried to meet page

Foley's Behaviour No Secret on Capitol Hill

11-year old Nigerian boy abandoned in Dhaka, Bangladesh

Aloysius Abacha in Bangladesh

Linkages and Coincidences

There has been some talk about Nigerians in Diaspora and it has excited a lot of commentary about safety and security – the whole topic makes an interesting read at Ayoke’s Exodus.

However, I now read that an 11-year old Nigerian who was purportedly traveling with an aunt called Rosemary was abandoned in Dhaka, Bangladesh en-route to London where the boy’s parents are supposedly resident.

It is uncanny, that the boy’s surname is Abacha which somehow relates to another topic on Ayoke’s Exodus about a tyrannical despotic dictator who ruled and ran Nigeria into the ground before his sudden death, apparently from sexual excess.

Obviously, we should assume, the young boy is in no way related to that rotten man; and even if he is, we should not visit the sins of his forebear on him.

How did he get there?

The mystery is how he ended up in the Dhaka International Airport terminal considering they cannot find video evidence of him arriving in the company of anyone.

If he were a stowaway, he would not have survived a long-haul flight at sub-zero high altitude from wherever he might have embarked to Dhaka, though that route does leave one suspicious of where he might have boarded if he was on his way to London.

A victim of trafficking?

On further analysis, one might wonder if the boy’s name is really Aloysius Abacha, and if it is and that name cannot be found on any of the flight records, under what assumed name was he traveling?

If he was registered under a presumed name, could he have potentially been a victim of child-trafficking, because, by now, the guardian should have notified authorities searching for him.

Conversely, an area which might draw brick-bats is, do the Bangladeshis have efficient and reliable records of passengers that pass through their international airports and do their recording devices record enough information to really ascertain who has been through the airport?

The boy arrived in Dhaka on Sunday and he is now in the care of Bangladesh National Women Lawyers Association, for his safety and being treated more like a victim of some unfortunate situation – many thanks, to the women.

At 11 years old, I would hope that he is articulate enough to give enough information leading to tracing his relations so that he can be re-united with his loved ones.

If known, contact please

If anyone recognizes this young man, I think it would be expedient and prudent to contact the BNWLA using the following information - Telephone: 88-02-8125866, 8123060, Fax : 88-02-8125866, bnwlaho@bnwla.org

Thanks!