A pain in the back

Of bones and pains

It is interesting to understand the vagaries of accumulating years whilst straining to retain a semblance of youth and fitness about yourself.

After many years of back pain that at times had my slender partner stand on my back to ease the pain and little medical remedy for the occasion stabs of pain in the ribs, one had found some accommodations to live with it.

In other places, it was shin splints, I could walk very fast, but that seemed to present somewhat unbearable pain that obviously prevented me from running as no matter how cushioned my feet were, the pounding with running or jogging presented a threshold of pain I was not ready to endure in any masochistic way. I stuck to walking.

Canes and pains

Then for a few years, I had an umbrella for support, literally as a walking cane, sometimes unsightly but necessary as I found that walking for a while, standing for too long, or sauntering in a queue left me socially inadequate for certain settings.

However, twenty years ago, in December I decided to get a proper and decent walking cane, it had an ivory screwball at the top, but I soon settled for a Derby cane as that had a hook, I could put over my arm. It suited me well as much as I never conceded any sense of disability despite needing a walking aid.

Just about 6 years later, I had skin cancer in my left foot, the appearances in my right foot were not as serious, but the unbearable pain of cancer that I have written about many times before meant I could not walk on my two feet for almost 6 months, I had to use crutches, though, living in Amsterdam, I could cycle anywhere and the result of that was I got a bit of respite for the back pain.

Soon, I realised with a good pair of trainers or sneakers, I could probably get around a bit without my cane, but that did not ease the occasional back pain if I was standing or sauntering, the support of a walking cane even one I can disassemble into parts to carry around in my bag remained necessary.

Walking through airport security in Manchester, I get presented with a standard cane as mine is checked through security scanners. Their canes are, however, not of the standard one would be inclined to steal away.

Scan the spine

Then in late August, I had a conversation with my consultant, and we decided to get to the bottom of why I have needed a walking cane, all this while. It was never a fashion accessory, I just thought, if you were to use a cane, get a distinctively nice one that gave the support needed and looked fashionable enough.

An MRI scan without contrast was booked for early October for a full scan of my spinal column and now at least there is a medical understanding of why I have had back pain for about 30 years whilst not thrilling news, there is a kind of justification for the use of a walking cane, as for the terms involved in explaining the conditions, they are new to me and I am still reading up on the causes and possible treatments.

I guess one good point determined from the diagnosis is that I have lost no height due to kyphoscoliosis or the two osteophytes in the vertebral column. This is up for discussion with my consultant as to what ameliorating or mitigating factors should be considered. I am generally fine and relieved that some knowledge is gained.

Hotstepping into a magnetic resonance experience

Walking with a cane

For 20 years in December, I have used a walking cane. This was to help with the pain that I felt in my lower back for about a decade and there were times I had my much lighter partner stand on my back just to ease the pain.

The pain was exacerbated by standing still in queues or sauntering, I needed to be moving well or sitting down not to experience the pain. At times I have spoken about the pain either in the chest on my ribcage or in my back to my GP, and they have tried to put me in the scheme of enduring it rather than treating it. The walking cane gave more than the support and comfort to reduce or avoid the pain, altogether.

Obviously, when I got my first walking cane, it was a long black rod with an ivory ball to hold onto, as from the beginning I had decided whilst the walking cane was not a fashion accessory if you were to use a walking cane, get a good and fashionable one. Eventually, after trying many kinds of canes I have settled for Derby canes that have a rounded hook that could be hung over the wrist or the arm, hands-free.

Let’s have a closer look

In a conversation with my consultant a few weeks ago, we talked about my use of the walking cane which in addition became even more pertinent when I had cancer in my right foot some 14 years ago that I could not walk using the leg for almost 6 months. She proposed we have a scan of my spine to determine why I was having the back pain and if anything could be determined from that review.

Today, I attended a radiology session for an MRI scan of my spine without contrast. The without contrast part suggested I would not have ink injected into my veins to provide contrast in observing other organs in my body. I read up on the notes and was sure no adverse effect was expected as I had no metallic enhancements or augmentations had been done to my body. At least nothing I have consented to except if one had been abducted by aliens.

Stillness and noisiness

Having filled out the consent forms, the nurse invited me to the waiting room before the radiographer called my name and ushered me towards the theatre. At first, I was assigned a locker to put in my valuables, watch, love bangle, wallet, and satchel bag. I only had to take off my jacket and leave my cane outside.

I sat on the MRI gurney and as I was about to lift my legs to lay on the bed, I was told it might take 30 minutes when I planned for 10 minutes tops, I had to remain still, and the device was a disturbingly noisy thing that you needed earplugs and headphones. I had heard much about the containment from others with claustrophobic tendencies, and I decided not to be regaled by any more of their sordid tales.

As I lay down and set myself for the experience, I decided to close my eyes as the headphones belted out Ini Kamoze’s Here Comes The Hotstepper, certainly not what you want to be hearing in a magnetic tube, but that was what was on offer rather than the calming strains of classical music that I suggested might be a better offer.

Slipped out of it and sleep

I drifted off as the three shrill sounds suggested my insides were being peered into without intrusion, the wonders of medical science for which a controversial Nobel Prize was awarded in 2003. [The Lancet: The Nobel prize for MRI: a wonderful discovery and a sad controversy]

There were times I opened an eye, but I never gave thought to the idea I was in an enclosed space. Then the gurney slid right out, and we were done with a commendation from the radiographer that I took the session really well.

I got fully dressed up, collected my things and returned home, an interesting experience and in a few weeks, I should get a review of what was seen.

Thought Picnic: These Legs Were Made For Walking

The passage of time

Sometimes, there is so much going on and so much to write about but one is not presented with the inspiration to commit the thoughts and happenings to the structure of a blog.

Milestones and dates have come and gone, some, one wants to remember, others, one will love to forget be those landmarks 31 years, 9 years, 2 years or even 10 months – we count the passage of time for blessing and thankfulness or for dread of a past that would be best part of the long distant past.

The pain and the cane

However, I have been interested in sharing some news about my health. For 8 years, I have used a cane for problems with back-pain initially and then the loss of muscle-mass as a result of the lack of use of my left leg which was most affected by the cancer lesions on my sole.

For over a year, I have struggled with the problems of a weak leg, the exhaustion of walking and a unbalanced gait that resulted from having weaker leg. The cane appeared to steady my walk and give me just that little extra for traction, albeit considerably slower than other pedestrians.

Strength returning

I discovered the fun of cycling about half a year ago and I have gone to places I have never ventured by bicycle unaware that I have to stamina to make such journeys. Maybe it was just the matter of means, opportunity, will and ability, but I have noticed some really good results.

It has now gone 4 weeks since I stopped using my cane, there were times I have packed my 3-piece bolt-up cane in my bag, I do that no more. I have given up the use of the cane and had not need to use even an umbrella for support when I was out the other day.

Not a fashion statement

There are people who have thought the cane was a throw-back to some genteel age of being dandy and proper, much as one did at times have that appearance, the purpose was hardly for fashion or airs.

I would not have thought a time will come when I will not need the cane again and for that I am thankful and grateful to God as well as happy that I am discovering a new age of youthfulness.

That is, I think, a good update to share.

Except exempted expectations

Arriving late for late work

Today was going to be different at work, we finally have the authority to make changes that have been held up by power-plays, anxiety and unmentionable attitudes – the day was going to be long.

So, a leisurely start of the day would be for 11:00AM, there is no point working all hours even though contractors might want to maximise their charges, one has to temper the needs for work with those of rest, recuperation and commonsense.

Vast changes on scales

I am constantly reminded by my body that it would not always respond in ways my mind expects though my weight seems to be going North at speeds that could become a cause for worry – in 6 weeks I have gained 5 kilograms and I can assure you it is not from food.

Somehow, the things the chemotherapy held in abeyance have begun to break free which also means my body should gain more of the ability to fight off opportunistic infection and amongst other things my taste is returning, I tried yoghurt the other day and it tasted better than I have known for 6 months – now, we have to try Greek yoghurt with honey.

My pain patch has now been quartered and it lasts a week from a full dose that began to wear off within 72 hours, in two weeks I see my specialist and hopefully there would be good news all round about health, a possible change in drug regimes and much more.

Stretching the time in minutes

Anyway, the inspiration for this blog goes back to the beginning where I had planned to get to work by 11:00 and arrived 30 minutes later. Having taken a tram to save myself the 5-minute walk to the connection that goes to the Central Station or “Centraal” Station, the Dutch stretch their vowels as a “generaal” thing; the indicator informed that the tram should arrive in 2 minutes.

For a while, it seemed the minute had been recalibrated to mean 240 seconds, then the countdown to zero left us expecting the tram but it still did not arrive, by which time a few had run out of patience and sought alternatives.

We waited in hope and expectation as the indicator teased us with another 2 minute wait and lasted for another indeterminate number of seconds per minute, one look at my watch showed that I had been standing for about 25 minutes and then the tram arrived.

Back at an ache I want not

If only the indicator had said 25 minutes when I first got to the tram stop I would have sought other means of getting to the Central Station and not wasted my time pining, hoping, getting irritated and suffering from unnecessary backache.

You can imagine, this is supposed to be the least obstructed tram line in Amsterdam, hardly any jostling with traffic except at crossings where trams have priority and it all consists of no more than 10 stops – however, it is easily one of the most inefficient at times with little information about problems when they occur.

After all that, the tram was so overcrowded maybe only half of those waiting got on, there is a possibility that there would be so many more so soon after the one I boarded but few would chance that expectation as a lady gave me her seat on seeing I had a cane – I stood all the while waiting, when I should have sat down and a pain I had not felt in my back for ages seemed to be making an unwelcome visitation – not for me again, no, not that pain.

Back home

Getting back

Having spent 19 days on holiday, I still had to phone up the travel agency because my arrangement for a hotel-to-airport transfer had been left off the roster.

After a few phone calls, I was told a taxi would arrive to pick me up by 13:50 which gave me a few hours to have breakfast at Moby’s and an hour at the Internet café a few blocks down the road.

Getting to the airport was easy and once I got in line for check-in it was no more like I would be travelling Comfort Class, it was like waiting for dis-Comfort service as the queue for Economy Class moved at almost three times the speed of ours, one could only wonder what was so difficult about checking in the lot of price insensitive people like me who were travelling Comfort Class.

Why do I say price insensitive? I have been reading The Undercover Economist and the scales are falling off my eyes as to how I have been fleeced and cajoled into spending a lot more than I need to for anything I purchase, be it goods or services – a must read for anyone who is looking for a dummies guide economics.

Not back to doors

I was in this ‘shorter’ queue for 70 minutes, but which time I was trying every stretching, yoga or bending move I could think of to alleviate the pain in my back – my cane was definitely not helping here because it is useful for when I saunter or walk but not when one is standing still.

Through the pain, I was offered a window seat, I went through security checks remembering that I had bought a few pairs of shoes for my birthday and consciously decide they would not have fiddly laces but buckles or zippers.

One pair of shoes did have buckles and the other was a pair of boots with zippers down the inner sides – it shows how the encumbrance or rather the inconvenience of travelling through London Heathrow where the strip tease includes taking off your shoes can affect decisions further down the line.

These footwear would be easy to take off and put on, though at one time I wondered if it was not folly to take two new pairs of shoes on holiday without having worn them in.

Below sea level

When I finally got on the plane, I found my window seat was really the emergency exit, I could not see myself doing the doors at 35,000 feet, no, not even at 4 feet with a back like mine.

The air steward eventually persuaded a couple to take up my place and the one next to it as I was moved to a three-seater shared by two.

When we got to Amsterdam Schiphol, it was interesting to see the altimeter read as low as -15 feet below sea level – as it were, it was once a lake reclaimed in 1852 – is it any wonder that God created the world and the Dutch created Holland?