Tuesday 9 March 2021

The art of taking a hint

The cues are always clear

Taking a hint is probably something we get to learn over time and understanding the situations and people we are with. What we probably do not want to exhaust in not realising the best way to react, is the patience and the tolerance of the people we care for.

There are times people just want to be left alone to be consumed in their thoughts, they do not want to talk, they do not want to be pitied, and most importantly, in their vulnerability, that is not what they want to be told of even if that is the truth.

That is the hint, to step away, to give way and to give time; do not make assumptions or place encumbrances of time or place on the person, for the crossover from concern to infuriating is thinner than a gossamer film.

Don’t flood the ears

In other cases, silence is more considerate than trying to find words to express anything that might suggest that you know how the other feels when you are entirely clueless. We can all have the completely same circumstances to relate to and yet find out that how it affects others will never ever be the same. It is a common mistake to even offer the idea that you know how they feel, even if you had cancer compared to the discomfort of their headache.

Space is a premium, people need lots of it at certain times and when that space is asked for, do not wait to asked again, make way, and patiently wait to be invited back into that space that you probably know by right you occupy but have to let go of, just to help the other manage their turmoil better.

It is respectful too

I guess there are no lessons on taking the hint, but if for whatever reason it is not learnt well, more than a breakdown is in store. Everything you notice does not need to be voiced, backing off serves more than stepping completely in.

Stop talking, start listening, there is no need to affirm or reiterate anything, let your silence become a better counsel. In it, you inadvertently show respect for the other person and ultimately, it will be more than appreciated. It is probably what helps any kind of relationship work too before anyone is forced to walk out slamming the doors behind themselves.

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