Essential Snobbery 101: Between an escort and a chaperone

An industry getting worse

Much as I would hate to observe that recruitment agents have become lazier and more unprofessional, even with the benefits of AI they do not seem to care what they do. It is like they sling shit in every direction with the hope that something sticks somewhere and out of that comes the reward commission for placing a hapless recruit.

For instance, I have had more than a decade-long interaction with this major recruitment agency, they would at least have an old CV of mine that anyone would hope provides some background and history to inform of whether I should be contacted by anyone from the said agency about an opportunity.

That is if the recruitment agent concerned had done any research before using my email address for their scatter-gun activity. I am even surprised I was addressed by name; these emails are usually discourteously impersonal.

Subject: Escort Needed! Apply now [I was first shocked by the email header as the resolved email identity was unfamiliar, that was besides wondering why I would be contacted for any lewd activity as a sex worker which is work that I would hardly qualify for, at this age and not after my prostate gland had been zapped by radioactivity to rid it of cancer. On reading the detail of role, would chaperone have been a better word?]

The email I received yesterday afternoon

[The emphases in the email are as contained in the original with nowt taken out.]

Dear Akin,

Your new company

An exciting and challenging opportunity has become available to join HMP [His Majesty’s Prison nearby] as a contractor escort working as part of a third-party company. This company looks after all maintenance work within this prison.

Your new role

Your new role as a Contractor Escort at HMP [nearby] will consist of 39 hours working Monday – Friday and will involve escorting a variety of contractors and visitors around site, ensuring the strict policies in place are followed. You will be responsible for the protection of inmates, staff and visitors by ensuring these policies are adhered to. Other aspects of the job involve booking in contractor’s tools and supervising them once escorted to their designated working area. This is an ongoing temporary position.

What you'll need to succeed

In order to be successful in this role you will need to pass an enhanced background check conducted by the prison service. This is something we will facilitate upon registration. You will also need to be level-headed, well organised and hardworking person. A security background is beneficial but in not essential for the role.

What you'll get in return

For this job you will receive a competitive hourly rate of £13.68 with 33 days holiday a year. All uniform will be provided. There is a chance for permanent offer. [On the rate alone, I have resisted paying any attention to the derisory offer. The holidays seem generous for the role though.]

Kind regards,

[Recruitment agent name removed]

Recruitment expert in Construction & Property [Their expertise is questionable, at best.]

In all consideration

I could not get this out of my mind, the much I tried as I was both irritated and annoyed, it deserved some sort of response as I did not want my mailbox to be cluttered with such nonsense ever again.

I did consider a very curt reply with a clear rebuke expressing the depth of my indignation, but it probably would have been binned, and though I do not expect a response because such recruitment agents would never have been schooled in the kind of decorum that should make their communication a sign of their professionalism, I tried a different tack in my response, this morning.

With gratitude for the thought

Dear [Name withheld],

I am totally at a loss how any information you might have of me might have inspired my receipt of this job opportunity.

I have a 36-year career in IT, your explanation of how this role relates to my experience would be welcome and helpful.

Otherwise, it is better to first acquire some knowledge of a person's background before filling their mailboxes with irrelevant prospects. That would be the least professional course to take. 

However, thank you for having me in mind for this role, I regret it is unsuitable as I have no appreciation of how useful it is for me.

With kind regards,

[Signed]

The less said beyond this response, the better. However, if the agent does respond, I might update this blog.

Men's things - XVII

Satisfying a curiosity

Today, I began a new journey that started just over six months ago with my desire to find out why a blood reading presented suspicions of anaemia that I was determined to track down and resolve. As I was at the doctor’s surgery to get blood drawn, at my insistence, they added another vial to check my Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) reading, it came back borderline normal.

The next visit 7 weeks later to check if the anaemic condition had been addressed included a second PSA test and this time, it was above the normal range and this has set us on the course of the discovery and consequently, the treatment of prostate cancer.

A computer tomography experience

I attended the hospital for a radiotherapy planning Computer Tomography (CT) scan the night before encumbered with insomnia even though I never felt anxiety nor concern and then to a morning that presented no bowel movement, much as I tried and a bladder that barely yielded to the urge for emptying.

I am even more fascinated by all the non-intrusive methods of looking inside the human body before doing anything. I have had the full complement over years and decades of, X-rays of teeth and chest, ultrasound of liver and kidneys, Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) of the spine and the prostate, and now, a CT scan of the pelvis targeting the prostate.

The CT machine presented a hard flatbed to lie on and its activity was just beeps and whirls, with me being passed in and out of the doughnut ring several times before I was tattooed with ink on two sides and in the middle just a few inches below my navel.

Zap the cancer to oblivion

After this, I had some blood taken for testosterone levels and another PSA test, just over 5 months after the last one along with a scheduling form for the radiotherapy sessions to begin in two weeks for 20 days. The times for the first 5 days had been scheduled.

To put it all in a nutshell and deal with that nut of cancer in the shell of the prostate, we are at the point where it is simply:

• Where is the prostate?
• We are coming to zap the cancer to oblivion and there’s no playing games with you.

Apart from the usually comforting conversation with Brian on my way to the hospital and after my appointment, I had already surmised I could not rely on my friend who had offered to accompany me. I guess he has more issues than the Vogue magazine. It is well.

I have had enough lone encounters with the medical establishment receiving interesting news; I do not consider any of them bad even if for some, such news has not only been life-threatening but also led to their deaths. I am blessed and fortunate to still be here to have new experiences, new testimonies, and the continued joy of living. This will pass.

Helping with research

After I got home, a researcher from the hospital called, they had missed me when I attended my consultation to ask if I would participate in some cancer research which could go on for more than two years. I had no issue with that, I informed the researcher, that the course of treatment I chose was informed by others participating in earlier cancer research, showing outcomes and other resulting benefits. I would not have that compendium of knowledge to access if they all had refused to engage.

When it comes to cancer today, we all benefit from the body of knowledge acquired over centuries of progress and advancement, those who died and those who survived, are contributors to the human experience of cancer and the medical expertise that treats it, I am grateful for everything that has brought us this far and will eventually lead to better ways of treating or even totally avoiding cancer altogether.

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It's a focus group treadmill

Lend us your views

Within the last month, I have been invited to and attended a few focus groups and research study forums seeking to understand my usage and experience of healthcare and mental health services in the diverse community areas in which I find some belonging.

I guess recently, I have been both forward and willing to offer a perspective because whilst I am affected and impacted by many issues, I am not in a sponsored or activist role, I probably speak for an underrepresented demographic of people who usually keep to themselves and seeking no recognition.

Stuff your vouchers

Now, there is the perverse view of the organisers that we attend because we have been enticed or induced by some sort of incentive. It helps, but if every engagement was for the acquisition of vouchers, that would be unfortunate.

Yesterday, I agreed to attend one such focus group, I arrived on time, only to find that the session had started and there was apparently a restriction to the numbers that could attend. To add insult to injury, I was being offered an alternative engagement for the bounty prize of a voucher.

If the look disdain would could capture for posterity, I think the people in that room could not have been less convinced. You think I came for your voucher that I probably cannot find a place spend before its validity expired. Well, the first part was duly expressed as the latter part was absorbed in my thinking. I came for a focus group I was invited to attend, at the time stipulated, even though the convenor arrived much earlier and decided to start before the scheduled time.

Please, do not waste my time

Anyway, I was not going to waste my time if my time was not being valued and my person respected, as an apology came from many directions until the person coordinating the invitees decided to ask if others could join the focus group. Eventually, I was invited to join the activity that had barely got beyond the introductions and ground rules.

Whilst I commend many who work in the non-profit and community engagement sectors, the availability of people to help and volunteer themselves in activities and other research endeavours should not be taken for granted. I can only wonder if I would again be persuaded to engage with that agency after our first encounter.

It was unfortunate, but where I would not be treated with courtesy and respect is not a place or an environment I want to be. From a cynical perspective, I do wonder how any of these things I have participated in would improve the services we use. I guess it is a wait-and-see thing and then calling them to account further down the line. You can only attend so many focus groups before you begin to wonder whether it is merely for funding acquisition rather than service improvement.

A decade after the Lord Babington blog

The falsely crafted quotation from an address attributed to Lord Macaulay. It never happened.

That Lord Macauley quote

The longevity of my blog would as a matter of interest suggest a celebratory review of something I have written before, and none more signifies that than a blog I wrote exactly 10 years ago.

As usual, it was written as a simple opinion piece about erroneous quotations of antiquity attributed to someone which on closer scrutiny revealed that the quote was first fabricated and definitely not spoken by the person or at the location it was said to have been relayed.

Blog - Opinion: Lord Macauley did not address the British Parliament in 1835 (18-05-2013)

That did not stop people wanting something manifestly wrong in content, person, or place to be true and they gathered on my blog to both defend the indefensible and assert sentimentality over objectivity. At one time, it felt like a backstreet brawl in some Indian city where many were about to come to some serious harm. Heck! I was even threatened, on my own blog, just because I had an opinion.

Battles and ratings

I never took the blog down, because that would be wrong, but I did at certain times close the blog to comments when nationalistic elements decided my blog was a place to vent their historical grievances and those that did not align with my polite commentary guidelines, I removed for the simple reason that if you want to engage in conversation or debate, you do that with respect and courtesy.

However, in that decade besides the over 36,400 views of the blog and 42 comments that put it at the all-time high ranking of interactions with my blog, it is interesting to see how the relationship between the British Empire of the 19^th Century where India was the crown jewel has changed within the first quarter of the 21^st Century.

Fortunes and history

The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is of Indian heritage in Rishi Sunak and India surpassed the UK to become the fifth largest economy in the world, having been the 11^th just a decade ago.

If one can manage a dig at the Tories who have been in government since May 2010, they have superintended a managed decline of the UK economy how they even are thought the party of business escapes me. [World Economic Forum: India surpasses UK economy]

Maybe, and just maybe, the Indian nationalists that camped on my blog a decade ago can take some consolation from this change in fortunes, but one can think they would be insatiable in their quest to prove a point. Meanwhile, my blog can sometimes be a battlefield, I just inadvertently provided ammunition too.

Learning from the letters

Letters from the past

In the process of writing one’s story, much research still needs to be done, the many things you think you remember from things said and related, over time that should be reviewed and confirmed. The confusion of dates and events along with those involved.

I thought I was going type out the sketches of memory percolating in my mind over the last couple of weeks, but at the same time, I had been thinking of reading letters going back 30 years just to fill in some gaps.

Reaching for the trusty shoebox, I read the first lover’s letter from April 1992 and many subsequent letters afterwards with some dates confirmed and what feelings we had for each other then. My parents each with their entreaties about what should be doing in the UK, full of advice on how to approach things and the obligatory badgering about making introductions and getting married.

Letters with a blast

On the event side, it occurred to me that there were things I might not have noticed, marriages, births, and deaths placed in their perspectives of relationships, celebrations and there were quite a few, who was doing what and where, especially how they were getting on, I had not read these letters since when I received and read them the first time.

Other things that could wear you down from all quarters, as questions, requests, demands, and pleadings extending beyond relations to friends and passing acquaintances, many with the view that you are living large abroad with no responsibilities apart from that which regards them. If one were to put a cost to the tranche of requirements, you would be totally wiped out. For those of us with regular engagements, you had to ignore and withhold a response totally.

Yet, there were many more letters to read all of which read out in my head in the hearing of the voices of the authors, that itself brought a kind of mental strain even though none had the contemporaneous urgency that portended the time of writing, I had to give it a break and find another time to read a few more.

Letters written to last

Though, in one of the letters from my mother with some useful historical content that I jotted down from my notes, she also revealed that she once worked at Vono Tipton. Vono was also known in Nigeria for beds, bed frames, bedsteads, bedding, and furniture. What I did not know was that VONO is in fact an acronym for Vaughan Only, No Others. The company was founded in 1896 by Ernest Vaughan and at one time, the largest employer in Tipton. [The annals of Tipton industries]

As for the other pertinent pieces of information I gain, I would suppose those would be woven into the stories to be found in my book.

We can treat this

Commending medical advances

Confidence without a tinge of arrogance or boasting, just a good sense of understanding the situation and how to deal with it is one of the far-reaching lessons I learnt about the Dutch medical establishment, specifically related to my situation.

I qualify this because whilst I had the onset of AIDS presenting as cancer, some other close friends who had been diagnosed with different kinds of cancer did not make it. It was September, Dick came to visit me at home after I returned from hospital in October, that was when I last saw him, we spoke sometime in January, and he was gone by the 2^nd of February.

Marcella, a very gregarious and generous Dutch-Indonesian, I had seen in August when she persuaded me against my inclinations to attend a party at her place. I was in pain that she shared some of her painkillers with me. She had had cancer which had gone into remission, but it returned aggressively in the New Year and by October, she was gone too.

It is against this backdrop that I appreciate everyone who has ever faced cancer, because whether we live or die, their medical experience redounds to the body of knowledge that helps to define outcomes for others. Hopefully, better outcomes too. To all who have had that human cancer experience, I am exceedingly grateful.

Life or just 5 weeks

For instance, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, the internationally renowned Nigerian musician died of an AIDS-defining disease presented as Kaposi sarcoma, 12 years before I had the same condition, and I cannot speak for the kind of medical opportunities he had then. Kaposi sarcoma lesions were for the while definitive of the onset of AIDS and it was a downward spiral from then on.

Blog - Remembering Fela (1938 - 1997) through our shared history of AIDS

However, when the professor visited my beside the day after I was put on ARVs and suggested the treatments offered theretofore were not producing the desired outcomes, he had a new plan of action and with confidence he said, “We can treat this …”, the only caveat was whether my body could tolerate the bombardment of chemotherapy, for if I could not tolerate the treatment, I only had 5 weeks at best.

Blog - Scuttling cancer with chemo

How I fared with chemotherapy

I was put on liposomal doxorubicin (Caelyx), all the basic information was given me some 4 days before my first session of chemotherapy, the only thing I was not told was about cytotoxicity, the fact that as the treatment killed living cells, anyone coming in contact with my bodily fluids, especially blood had to don biohazard clothing, and I was to be in an isolation cordon whilst in hospital.

I eventually had 7 sessions of chemotherapy on Mondays, 3 weeks apart, by the 3 session the cancer lesions had begun to disappear with the need to remove necrotised skin and allow fresh new pinkish skin to show. I tolerated it enough, though, by the fifth, I needed extra medication to deal with the emesis.

It was 12 years ago, when I was being informed of the decision to put me on chemotherapy that the consultant said, “We can treat this, it depends on how your body takes the treatment, if it takes, you’ll be fine, else you probably have five weeks to live.” That confidence added to my ability to see beyond the circumstances I was in.

On the milestones of health checks

A schedule ahead

The highlights of my year or rather the more obvious plans scheduled far ahead in each year for over six years now has been my appointments with consultants.

People with vast medical expertise who I face on many occasions to discuss the state of my health, what discoveries have been found, what diagnosis has been arrived at, what the prognosis is, what prophylactic or therapeutic course of treatment is available and eventually what decision has been made in the end.

The cosy conversation

Whilst it is literally impossible to affect the bedside manner of certain dour and boring doctors, and I have met a few, in the main, I have met quite outgoing, understanding, engaging and interesting consultants. This makes for a better environment to discuss issues and many times things in a broader context of life, livelihood, and living.

I get on well with consultants who despite their status, achievement and authority have a listening ear, a sympathetic mien, and a completely unprejudiced view, regardless of what the subject becomes in our conversation.

Many faces seen

It is a bit disconcerting that in England, I have rarely had the pleasure of meeting with consultants that have been assigned to me at the times I have booked my appointments, which is quite different from meeting consultants in The Netherlands or in Wales. Maybe a better scheduling system is required, however, I am told that is how the department is able to attend to a wider number of patients.

On Thursday, I was in hospital and again, I saw another consultant, I always do my research about consultants, see what they qualified in, what their research projects were, review academic, research and professional papers they have written and what conferences they’ve contributed to.

Be read up

At one point the consultant had to accede that I had done considerably more research on her, her background and on some of her personal life than she had on me with the little time she had to glean through my medical file. It has become common practice to elicit my medical history from me than wade through physical or computer files, I am comfortable with that.

In my view, it is incumbent on a patient to be versed with their condition so as to be able to give knowledgeable information and most importantly, you can ask better follow-up questions in relation to how the discussion develops. This helps ensure that any decision made with regards to medical expectations and outcomes takes into consideration your concerns, your anxieties and also your expectations too.

A glad finishing

Beyond the medical, we talked about professions, hobbies, travel and the general things before I was booked for some tests that included a visit to the phlebotomist and two future appointments to review my situation.

I do look forward to these hospital visits and the more prepared I am for the consultation, the better I feel afterwards. I always take notes and in particular the key indicators that come from the blood tests, which gives me a general indication of what my health condition is and so far, I am doing very well.

It is easier to take an Uber cab ride to the hospital than getting one back and I have on occasion ended up getting on a bus going in the completely wrong direction as I did on Thursday. It didn’t bother me, I just got back on the bus at the terminus and rode back until it got me to the ethnic minority superstore where I stocked up on ingredients for my local cuisine before getting back on the bus on the same route that got me back to my street.

Nigeria: Let us include the rite of the autopsy in the burying of the dead

Speculation was rife

The apparently sudden death of Prince Abubakar Audu who was more or less on the cusp of a gubernatorial victory has elicited much commentary on social media.

When the news of his death as we were awaiting the announcement of the electoral results first emerged, I was persuaded to overlook the breaking news and curb my curiosity for the frenzy to dissipate enough for the facts and the truth to emerge.

The only truth that has emerged from this tragic tale is that he is deceased and has been interred according to Islamic rites, everything else with regards to manner of death, cause of death and other extenuating factors has been a matter of accusation, supposition, speculation, conjecture, suggestion, rumour, innuendo and fable. This list is hardly exhaustive.

Nothing really was known

I cannot attribute anything, but in all the reports I have read, there has been mention of cardiac arrest, stroke, poisoning, paranormal activity, voodoo and all sorts of silliness. None of this helps the matter at all.

For all the enlightenment we have acquired, we tend to heighten our superstitious predilections at times of birth, at marriages and at death, even if our general lives are hardly lived in any recognised adherence to faith or religion and the tenets the books require us to espouse to be model examples of our belief systems to our common humanity.

Now, I have no medical training, but the most recent pictures of the man depicted an unhealthy pallor, very much like that of the late President Umaru Yar’Adua when he ailed with nephrological complications that led to his demise.

Besides looking overweight and other deleterious conditions that might evolve from that, it is very likely that there is a clear-cut medical condition that resulted in the man’s death.

Bound to ages gone

Yet, as we live in the 21^st Century, our lives and livelihoods are majorly trumped by belief systems, traditions and cultures that have not evolved for many quincentenaries, that we fail to benefit from the knowledge, logic, reason and developments that have brought humanity to the amazing modernity and comforts of the present times.

One such area we fail to deploy at death is medical examination and autopsies, the advances in modern medicine can in most cases determine the cause of death, not only to put beyond doubt the rife speculations that surround a sudden death, but such knowledge in either a minor or major way can also help the living.

Knowledge from deaths

In cases of cancer, it might cause survivors to check if they might be susceptible to the same  type of cancer especially if there is a genetic predisposition to it. It might aid medical science in know what to look for if anyone presents symptoms that might lead to complications. This is a valuable knowledge that goes beyond the individual and the present tragedy to the greater good of humanity.

Part of what has given medicine the tools to treat many ailments has come from the study of the dead and much as it has from observation of the living. It is sad that one only has to leaf through the pages of a Nigerian newspaper to read obituaries of many of died of a brief illness. The brief illness is a catch-all term that covers everything from a fatal asthma attack, through epileptic fits to cancer discovered so late that nothing could be done beyond providing palliative hospice care.

Bringing reason to belief

Whilst there is nothing wrong with being religious, we allow religiosity to becloud both judgement and reason. In the absence of a modicum of reasonableness compounded by grief and loss, we accentuate a fanatical tendency to fatalism, providence and destiny allowing the burning questions to remain unanswered in submission to the primordial where ignorance becomes the cradle of bliss and succour.

Whether, there is a soul or not, once the force that animates and enlivens the body is gone, we have just a body in the process of decay and disintegration. We must respect the memory of the person departed and treat the body of the said departed with dignity, but there is no rule created in anticipation of the modern times that prevents gaining knowledge from an autopsy.

The rite of the autopsy

In times past, there were probably no means of preserving the dead, the Egyptians of old used mummification and embalmment for their pharaohs, other cultures found burial, cremation or some other means of disposing of their dead. Yet, we attach ourselves to age-old customs at our convenience when at other times we desperately avail ourselves of the benefits of medical science.

We need to rethink this clash of options and the time has come to include the autopsy in the burial rites and have civil law demand that where cause of death is inconclusive or death is sudden, internment will not proceed before medical examination, else the body will be exhumed for final determination.

Thought Picnic: To the letter for the better

Getting the letter too right

If I am to access customer services anywhere, I take the time to find out what is expected of me to easily obtain the assistance or service I need.

There is nothing like having too much information at hand to help determine what you really want and in the same vein; it prevents the situation where they could persuade you into going for something else that does not suit your purposes.

When I went shopping for my high specification laptop that came with 4GB of RAM but had a capacity for 16GB, I had obtained the information for the 16GB option, bought the default configuration and upgraded the laptop at home; saving me, about £200 if I went for a laptop fully configured to me desired specification.

I visited the shop with 16 pages of information, and each sales pitch fell flat as I flipped page after page of my research stressing why I had made my decision and emphatically making it clear that I would not be swayed.

Showing the letter to fight

Today, I walked into the 3Three mobile telephony shop to remove the adult content filter on my phone. This is not to entertain bawdry activity but to take of restrictions where somewhat overzealous censors might have blocked innocuous websites.

Besides, I should not be embarrassed to visit websites of an adult nature, and I do not want the establishment to determine what I can or cannot view even if I do not end up viewing sites the sententious might presume will corrupt my morals.

3Three provides one of the following three ways of removing the adult filter.

1. A refundable credit card charge.
2. By visiting a 3Store with identification to verify age.
3. Over the phone by calling customer services and still having a credit card.

I chose to visit the store because that meant I could have questions answered along with all the assistance I require if there are issues.

I approached the counter and asked to enable Adult Content and the customer service agent said I should call Customer Services because the adult filter cannot be lifted in-store.

Giving the letter to sight

Patiently, I attempted to access a possible adult site and the filter warning came up with the instructions, the letter of which was clear, it can be done in-store and so I expect it to be done in-store until such a time when the advice on the 3Three website is removed.

Seeing that I had won the argument, the agent himself called Customer Services and went through the process that involved reading disjointed numbers off my SIM card, reciting my phone number like a mantra and though I am a good many years over 18, I still had to prove I was over 18.

Having things done to the letter can be pernickety but I will not be fobbed off by recalcitrance in the face of compelling information.

Seeing the letter of blight

As I left the store and got to the City of London, not too far from a church, a little inhabitant scurried into a cranny defying to the letter the metaphor of being as poor as church mouse, this mouse was probably too well fed to be swift on its feet.

Perish the thought that besides the vermin of banksters that roam the skyscraper sewers of the City of London gambling away our futures for bonuses today, we have the compounded infestation of vermin in subterranean sewers too.

In no way, have I found to love these scenarios to the letter without a fight for the right in the sight of blight.

Where is Dick Whittington and his cat to make history again?

Opinion: Lord Macauley did not address the British Parliament in 1835

Comments are open again

I have decided not to allow the irritation of one person to spoil the open forum for interaction on my blog. I have removed all trace of his views and blacklisted him.

We are strangers here and the least that we can expect of each other regardless of our views, is respect, courtesy and dignified expression. You fall short; you fall out.

Closing Comments Update - 1^st November 2013: In view of certain recent developments in the comments section of this blog, I have decided to close this blog to any new comments.

A more comprehensive note appears below the text of the blog.

Update – 26^th July 2013: Having had so much traffic to this blog, it has become necessary to add more information and references about the quote, the context, the person and the somewhat ulterior motives that seem to govern the release of what I might refer to as "Internet Apocrypha".

I will advise anyone who is thinking of commenting on this opinion piece to first exhaustively go through the links provided within and below the article and appreciate the import of each submission, and then, if there is any desire to debunk any of the claims, please provide reference, attribution and accessible sources to support your views.

Thanks.

Akin Akintayo – 26^th July 2013

Shared on Facebook

A few hours ago, I came upon a picture taken of a supposed speech made to the British Parliament on Facebook and the healthy sceptic that I am had to review the content to determine if this was true or not.

A quick search, though inconclusive proved my doubts and though I left a comment on the feature, soon afterwards the posting was removed in its entirety along with all the opinions expressed about it.

My control

That is probably what I fear the most about participating in the many forums on the Internet outside my control, the sudden disappearance of an opinion, a view or a comment so succinctly made at a moment in time representing my contemporaneous thinking which I may never be able to reproduce if it is lost.

This informs the reason why I mainly stick to writing on my blog where my views cannot be tampered with by editors or syndicators – my cubicle serves its purpose well.

The speech

“I have travelled across the length and breadth of India and I have not seen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief. Such wealth I have seen in the country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that I do not think we would conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage, and therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self esteem, their native culture and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation.” [Wikipedia]

Intent unexpressed

Now, with regards to the picture above and the words transcribed there is probable cause to believe that there was intent by the British Empire as it spread its tentacles in the 19^th Century; I had my doubts that they were expressed as such, especially in Parliament.

Sensational and inflammatory as it definitely is, it can be used to whip up nationalist fervour and jingoism for the ways in which colonialism and imperialism raped the colonies but if we are historically incorrect in attempting to harness a sentiment for polemics and so political gain, eventually the truth of such manipulation will be revealed, but long after the mob has been excited to wreak havoc on our peace.

Quite improbable

Now, this speech was said to have been made by Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay on the 2^nd of February 1835 to the British Parliament. This would have been difficult, if he left for India in 1834 and returned in 1838 serving on the Supreme Council of India.

The fastest ships of that time managed 5 to 6 knots and this was before the time of the Clippers, Suez Canal did not open until 1869, so with a basic calculation of London to Bombay via Cape Town, a distance of 10,721 nautical miles with no days spent at port, an average one-way trip to India will take just over 74 days. [Using Sea Distances – Voyage Calculator]

This was not a journey to be taken lightly if you were based in India in the 19^th Century; it is quite unlikely that T. B. Macaulay made a speech to the British Parliament in 1935.

Minutes

Then one might ask how this got attributed to him. He did take minutes on the 2^nd of February 1835 on the issue of Indian Education but those minutes do not contain the said words, it is suggested that the words might well have been an embellished paraphrase of a number of opinions that the man might have expressed in different documents and letters.

Apparently, the East India Company had been given the monopoly to trade with India and was instructed by the British Parliament to spend 100,000 Rupees on promoting the education of Indian natives. [Source - Doc]

“The Company officials were divided on the kind of education to be promoted – will it be the indigenous system of education, or a new education system patterned along the British system of education.” The context of T. B. Macaulay’s minutes a subject of the English Education Act of 1835 were implemented in India in 1854 was advocating the promotion of European style education over the indigenous system.

The reprehensible thinking of those times

There are other words that are apparently attributed to Lord Macaulay and this follows the thinking of colonialists of that time; on page 325 in Essays, Critical and Miscellaneous, by Thomas Babington Macaulay, Baron Macaulay, we find the paragraph below as also corroborated in Callaloo Nation, by Aisha Khan.

“There never, perhaps, existed a people so thoroughly fitted by nature and by habit for a foreign yoke.”

This reads no different in context and understanding that Lord Lugard proffered of Africans in his book, The Dual Mandate in British Tropical Africa in 1922, where he said, “In character and temperament, the typical African of this race-type is a happy, thriftless, excitable person; lacking in self control, discipline, and foresight ...” I covered this in my Apes Obey Series.

Debunk the fallacies, always

I expect the picture to go viral as it gets shared and commented on by readers on Facebook, Twitter and other Social Media forums, it might even catch the eye of some newspapers on its way to becoming a meme, many not bothering to verify the information and ascertain its provenance, veracity and correctness with historical fact.

As to the exact words spoken or written by Baron Macaulay, many of which might be in dispute, one can only end on the damning excoriation of taking things at face value exemplified in these words authored by someone who did not sign their contributions to this debate. “Available in the archives to genuine researchers. Not for followers of the ‘If it cannot be Googled it did not happen’ doctrine.” I hear you.

Other notes added 26^th July 2013

In response to a comment that was posted recently, this piece was attributed to Lord Macaulay in 1835, well, in 1835, he was Mr Thomas Macaulay, he did not become Lord Macaulay until August 1857, which would suggest this was an attribution as a reported event rather than diary event, else, the postscript would say Mr Thomas Macaulay who became Lord Macaulay.

There is no reference in the Hansard of any speech, address, opinion, bill or comment by Mr Thomas Macaulay in the years from 1834 to 1838 inclusive.

Mr Thomas Macaulay apparently took up an appointment on the Supreme Council of India between 1834 and 1838 for which he was paid £50,000 to help pay off debts his father had accrued. [Spartacus Educational Biography]

There is another view that the real documented quote made by Mr Thomas Macaulay, though again unproven is below - the research continues:

“I accept catholic beyond the across and across of India and I accept not apparent one getting who is a beggar, who is a thief. Such abundance I accept apparent in this country, such top moral values, humans of such caliber, that I do not anticipate we would anytime beat this country, unless we breach the actual courage of this nation, which is her airy and cultural heritage, and, therefore, I adduce that we alter her old and age-old apprenticeship system, her culture, for if the Indians anticipate that all that is adopted and English is acceptable and greater than their own, they will lose their self-esteem, their built-in self-culture and they will become what we ambition them, a absolutely bedeviled nation.” [WikiQuote]

Pertinent References

(These must be reviewed before posting a comment challenging the opinions stated here.)

Talk:Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay – The WikiQuote analysis of this purported speech.

Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay – The Wikipedia entry.

Biography of Thomas Babington Macaulay – From Spartacus Educational, here, it noted that he was ennobled in August 1857, that is when he became Lord Macaulay.

Minute by the Hon'ble T. B. Macaulay, dated the 2nd February 1835. – From Bureau of Education. Selections from Educational Records, Part I (1781-1839). Edited by H. Sharp.  Calcutta: Superintendent, Government Printing, 1920. Reprint. Delhi: National Archives of India, 1965, 107-117.

Macaulay's “Minute Upon Indian Education” In the English Education Act 1835. – Wikipedia.

Mr Thomas Macaulay – Hansard References

A dubious quotation, a controversial reputation: the merits of Lord Macaulay – An exhaustive study of Lord Macaulay by Koenraad Elst – This must be read.

Macaulay's Minute revisited - Ramachandra Guha – The Hindu

Lord MacAulay’s Speech to British Parliament 1835 – Robert Lindsay on whipping up nationalist sentiment with contrived and false quotes.

Finally to put this all in context - The Curse of the Internet: Fake Historical Quotes

Dear Reader,

After almost 6 months of having written this blog with over 6,000 reads and all together 39 comments, I have decided to close this blog to new comments.

I appreciate everyone who has found time to read what I have written and have left comments either in support of or against the views expressed here.

Many, times, I have reiterated that the purpose of this blog is to dispute the letter of quote attributed to Lord Macaulay; at no time, I have suggested that colonialists have not practiced the spirit of the forgery attributed to the man.

My basic premise has been, if we are to be beacons of truth and justice, our activism and agitation must be based on the truth and the facts, never on fabricated quotes to suit our sentiments and subjective views. See - The Curse of the Internet: Fake Historical Quotes

Recently, the comments have digressed from the purpose and context of this blog; they have become unhelpful and do nothing to further the debate. I did not write this blog to entertain idle retired trolls.

I have suffered his views for long enough that I have decided to close this blog to new comments.

Everyone has a forum in the greater, bigger world of the Internet to publish their concurrence or disagreement and link back to this blog, if they so wish.

Thank you for reading and visiting my blog, I am honoured if providence has led you here whether you have gain anything or not from reading my blog.

With the kindest regards,

Akin Akintayo - 1^st November 2013