I was asleep, I saw nothing

Motion-induced sleep

A crashing sound, a sudden jolt and I was woken up from slumber just like I was 27 years ago.

I am of the opinion that certain people never grow out of the sensation caused by rocking a child to sleep in a pram, put me in any moving vehicle and I would the king of the Land of Nod in minutes.

It was a weakness my father could not tolerate, a whack in the car and complaints that I am always falling asleep – no one considers that motion might be triggering a soporific effect – sometimes our parents never can try to understand why their children could be different.

The problem with this situation is that I have never been an eye witness to any accident in which I have been involved; I was always jolted awake to witness the effect.

The boss’ kid is a dunce

That day, I had been driven up to Agbara at the brewery for an interview as a laboratory assistant, well, it was not so much an interview, I already had the job, I was the son of the Chief Accountant, but all righteousness had to be fulfilled.

The joke was either going to be the son of the big boss was a dunce or the young boy is quite smart.

After answering questions like defining Boyle’s Law and Charles’ Law, saying a few things about pH and titration, I was introduced to the staff and asked to report for work on Monday.

Whack and bang

As we were returning home the driver ran into the back of a tow truck that was laden with a damaged car and our car was written off. It was our driver’s word against the other with the supposed witness as useless as not being there.

On returning from Las Palmas today, we went into the bus stop which has parking lots that the bus drives into and then has to reverse out before driving off.

I was already halfway into the Land of Nod when as the bus was reversing it ran into the side of another passing bus and broke two panes of glass showering some passengers with debris.

Thankfully, glass in vehicles disintegrate with some controlled order or respect, if that is the word to use; they were moved out of the bus to another, our driver had to file a report and soon we were on our way back to Playa del Inglés where I can say, I arrived safely and managed to keep awake through the whole journey – only just.

16 nights gone so soon

Passing for white in the sun

I could almost swear that when I arrived on holiday on the first of the month I was the only one with a tan a darker shade of brown, but hours before my return home today, there are many who were as white as snow when they arrived who could make me pass for a deeply tanned Caucasian.

Such is the way people come to these sunny climes for what is essentially a reptilian experience; crawl out of bed in the morning and congregate at the pool or beach worshipping the sun till it gets too hot and then they slither into the pool or water for a brief cooling down then return to bask in the sun till they are medium rare hash browns or bright red lobsters, the last part however, does not happen to crocodiles.

One thing missing from the work of the sun is that it does not burn off body-lard, the many relatives of Michelin man who exposed so much flesh to the sun and each once beautiful body over time succumbs to the abuse of food and the lack of exercise, people could be a bothersome eye sore.

I dread the thought of getting on my scales back home too, the food and wine has been sumptuous, I had better my cleaner to dump the scales in the bin before I return.

Get off the beach and explore

I have always found other things to do in Gran Canaria because it is quite an interesting island once one gets out of the overly touristy areas on the Southern Coast.

There is Las Palmas de Gran Canaria the capital to the North East where you find information leading to the discovery for Europe the continent of the Americas at the Museum House of Christopher Columbus, I also found the Museo Elder quite interesting which is a science museum.

The shop to go to is the El Corte Ingles department store which seems to have everything, I even got a hammock and suit from there once; it is bus 30 from Playa del Ingles.

Palmitos Park is a bird sanctuary which suffered some damage in the forest fires of mid 2007, I hear no animals suffered, but it would take some time to rebuild the place.

Puerto Rico to the West of Playa del Ingles and Puerto de Mogan are places to visit, at the first, we were persuaded to get on a catamaran for almost 3 hours as we ventured out 16 kilometres into open sea to see the schools Atlantic Spotted Dolphins, I almost lost my sea legs.

At Puerto de Mogan, you would be taken by the clarity of the water and did I get into a “Yellow Submarine” to view creatures in the depth of the sea hoping we did not have to call on the reserves of 3 days of oxygen, just in case we could not float again.

One can get to all these places by bus but make sure you travel part of the way by ferry which goes between Puerto de Mogan, through Puerto Rico to Arguineguín the nearest port to Playa del Inglés and Maspalomas.

The interior of the island is a wonder of windy roads through canyons on the Southern side and temperate green in the North, towns like Tejeda and Firgas reveal the traditional Gran Canarians, in fact, once we came upon a procession of floats drawn by super-salivating cows and bulls.

During one of our tours of the island in safari jeeps we got to highest approachable point by car and were able to seen Las Palmas through the clouds, we were basically above some of the lower laying clouds.

There is so much to do in Gran Canaria if we can abort the quest for getting cooked in readiness for long gone cannibals and in all, I have still not done the whole of the island in four visits.

Tired from not really retiring

The island however is full of many who have come to retire in the sun, opened shops, bars and other service operations only to find they are hardly in retirement as they eke out a living from carefree tourists.

I would return to Gran Canaria soon and I have learnt a few things as travel Comfort Class or better, means more leg-room and more baggage; stay at one of the Riu Hotels of 4-star class or better; do half-board, that is breakfast and dinner taken care of and sometimes the hotel entertainment is viewable.

There were many couples in my hotel, straight and gay, amazingly, quite a few young ones were there and I could not help but notice the two beautiful ladies where one was dressed the manly part and the other looking quite like a prom girl.

One last view of the sea from my room as I check-out and regrets that 16 nights are so soon gone.

The slideshow

The pictures of my holiday appear here, I would find some time to caption the whole lot.

Akin is away

Working like a dog

Gosh! I have been working like a dog, all hours of the day and especially the witching hours to get things done before I go off on holiday.

A holiday that has been postponed for 6 weeks because my dear partner would not imitate me in one specific respect, one does not run for the train, else in this case, a trip and crack – leg in plaster for 4 weeks – thankfully, at a time the planning was still tentative.

I threatened to book a trekking holiday to see the spectacle of a hobbling tourist but relented.

At the same time, I had postponed the commencement of my thesis to allow for my holiday only to now find myself looking for an internet café in Playa del Ingles to do submissions, my recommencement having started on Tuesday.

So, my last working day came and I was still in the office at 8:30PM, took a cab home only to find that my partner had packed the whole Summer collection, like I was about to chaperone Donatella Versace in a remake of the Airport (TV series) 63 suitcases bar one at Heathrow Airport – lighten that load – we dumped 6Kg of stuff to stay in limit.

Comfort ye by payments

OK! We were traveling Comfort Class, whatever that means – extra 5Kg baggage, 8cm leg room, then, I found I was traveling a souped-up EasyJet service, we were paying for cabin service on a flight that would last 4:30 hours and the joys of noisy babies to help one relax and sleep off the whole flight. Arkefly they call themselves – never again after this holiday – but I suppose package holidays with charter flights do have their surprises.

Then, we were picked up at the airport and we had a tour of all 4/5-star hotels and apartments in Playa del Ingles before we arrived at our hotel last and just ready for dinner.

I decided on half-board accommodation with all the trimmings, the thought of looking for restaurant for 17 nights did not appeal to me and the Riu Palace Hotels brand does dish out luxurious cuisine in themed restaurants apart from the fact that company has the stomach of a child, it whines for food to my utter distraction.

We took our seats at the restaurant and checked-in afterwards, I was a bit disappointed because I thought I had an apartment-type room, but it was OK, not very large but well decorated and a balcony to boot.

Beside the seaside

I did not request a sea-side view because I felt I would get a Fawlty Towers room with the quip, the sea is just over the dunes, so I thought our orientation was towards the town though I could not see a prominent feature at that time of the night.

Later on, I found that the hotel was patently for holiday-makers, poor Internet service, no newspapers delivered to the door, I really should learn to take a holiday properly, imagine, I travelled with my laptop, well, because, I do need to make some critical submissions for my thesis.

Anyway, I woke up in the morning and looked out on the balcony, I saw the sea, yes, I saw the sea and my holiday had just begun.

Strangely, no one reads newspapers at the breakfast table, I need to, “chill-out” as they say in street parlance, I should stop counting the days left and do what I came to do – I have worked really hard, I should play doubly hard.

Ole!