Thought Picnic: Aborting peristalsis

A lunch-time malfunction

Suddenly caught within the travails of thought, taste, smell and food which was triggered at lunch this afternoon.

I had ordered beef stroganoff and rice, at the time of the service, it appeared the rice was hot, or maybe the plate was hot because I was getting uncomfortable as I stood at the till to pay as the till broke down.

I settled at the table and spooned the first and second mouthful at which point the mechanics of peristaltic movement seized to function, a massive paper-jam, in my throat.

Tearful choking

I took a few sips of my drink with the hope of eventually easing the blockage without much success; I could breathe but at the same time I was choking.

At which point, I had to run out unto the patio where all I could cough up was the drink, but the choke was still painfully there, I was already in great discomfort and in tears, my colleague that the table completely oblivious of what I had suffered.

Another drink of water did not help, as the time-out for regular peristalsis loomed, the process of ingestion could not be completed, I had to run out again and every that had gone in was seen again as the natural had been aborted for survival – Relief, but that was the end of lunch, I could not believe how much that experience had exhausted me, I was tempted to end the day at work.

Much, much later

Hungry as I was, the next intake I had was some tea about an hour after that, then two pygmy bananas before I returned to my hotel with the hope for supper.

The entrée of taramasalata and warm flat breads went down well but the main course after the second bite suddenly went off to my taste and with the collusion of my memory and my thinking exciting a feeling of nausea, I was in the gents the next minute and that was the end of dinner – I can only wonder what the whole problem was before I begin to worry.

Should I be bothered?

In the first instance, I could surmise that the rice was not really as hot as the plate felt and that could have the tendency of choking you but the event 8 hours after left me more concerned than it was comfortable to be.

One needs to see what tomorrow brings before panic sets in, puréed food or a liquid diet – let’s not go there yet.

Off and back on the pain patch

Managing the pain regulator

At my last meeting with the oncologist we decided I could begin to wean myself off pain regulation managed by the Fentanyl patch that trans-dermally seeped 25 micrograms of active agent through my skin every hour.

The week before, my treatment superintendent had suggested the best way to half the dosage was cut the patch in half before removing the seal, I had gotten used to having the patch work well beyond the 72 hour dosage time.

Or rather, I did not have any perceptible pain beyond the 72 hour patch wearing recommendation and probably that meant there were no indications of pain as I planned to discontinue the usage of the patch.

Coming off the patch

On Wednesday evening, I peeled off the patch and decided the pain management was over, some 36 hours after, I have had to reconsider that decision.

In addition to pain management, it would appear the patch with the attendant side effects was managing a few other things that gave me a lot of comfort that I think I have lost making me seriously uncomfortable.

It started with a chronic sickly salivation, I was producing so much saliva that I was spitting out quantities bordering on arrested nausea not manifesting as emesis.

The patch generally has a side effect of constipation whilst my general medication has dysentery to boot, at one time I had to take something to handle the constipation but my physiology had adjusted for normal bowel movement.

Without the patch, I suddenly had the runs accompanied with severe abdominal ache which last about 10 minutes allowing for bowel evacuation which seemed to dislodge the discomfort.

Back on the patch

In any case, I was very uncomfortable and sad to discover that the pain management probably masked other issues that would show up on discontinuance.

It would appear I have to be more gradual in withdrawing the pain medication to the point of the current half-dosage that I have for beyond the 72 hour range and then down to a quarter and hopefully with the adequate adjustment I can go off it completely.

I am not in any particular pain per se, but at the same time, I am willing to tolerate any pain like what I suffered for months even when dosed up on morphine and its derivatives, I also need to manage the discomfort because it helps to keep a fresh and comfortable state of mind.

So, the patch is back on the fatty but lean parts of my stomach wall and pain management is just a case of managing oneself off the need for medication much more gradually than a macho act of mind acting over matter and hoping for the best.

Nausea abates by suppository

Sickly night

The night ere the last was one that was, each second ticked along as hour long intervals of nauseating discomfort, not one for the memories but one to be forgotten.

I hate it; it is rotten, full of really sickly colours and gushes out against the force of gravity with a vengeance too compelling with involuntary spasms of soon to be expected relief.

So, four times overnight I regurgitated the exclusive hospital gourmet till my body was conditioned into realising you could only throw up content, the channelling remains in the body. It was horrible.

The mouth is no good at stopping nausea

The commonsense of medicine is sometimes amusing, since I had the intravenous system attached I was fed an anti-nausea drug, as one should expect, if you could not keep things down, then ingesting an anti-nausea drug was far from smart.

By then I had noticed that most of my medication was coming in pills and beginning to replace my tethered medicine bag.

Nursing so selfless

In the morning, the nurse removed the intravenous drip-deed system completely and this meant I could get around, well hardly, the pain that ran to my feet when I stepped off the bed for a shower was excruciating, I threw away all inhibitions and let the nurse bath me, she was gentle on my crown jewels.

I must recognise the unflinching selflessness of the nurses, kindly, comforting, helping and supportive, it is a calling of great responsibility which taps off character traits very rare in the streets – empathy, compassion and concern ooze out of every pore and what is sometimes a thankless job has not made them any less willing to give and give more.

I did wonder how the nausea problem would be resolved, well with suppositories which I now insert at least 30 minutes before meals – most amenable application of anti-nausea medication.

A dozed off day

The day however is as sleepy as Snow White’s 7 dwarves would have been, sleepy, droopy – I was drowsy all through, I could not multitask or finish the blog meant for yesterday and I was hardly online.

I had guests, my neighbour, unexpected but full of initiative with Newsweek and Time magazines under arm, then my ex-work colleagues all the way from the South of Holland – I am exceedingly grateful, it means a lot to me and their friendship is cherished exceedingly.

I hope today would be livelier and more eventful, but in any case, it is still the day the Lord made and waking up being glad and full of praise sets the tone for not dwelling on useless stuff.