Opinion: He was British, what changed him?

He was British

The Manchester bombing suspect has been named as a 22-year old British-born son of Libyan refugees. His parents were refugees from Muammar Gaddafi and they had recently returned to Libya.

Obviously, many questions arise and flags raised about how a person born in England, having attended local schools, was a Manchester United fan and was at one time a student at the University of Salford before he dropped out, became more religiously devout and outwardly hostile to his community before he took on a suicide terrorism quest against innocent people in Manchester.

In some of the news stories I have read, there are words and phrases that worry me, they show tectonic plates of acculturation that stand at the nexus of integration, assimilation, indifference or abnegation within the societies in which we exist.

How do we relate?

Wherever we were born, we have many roads to travel to some sort of self-ideation and completeness of personality and life within the communities and societies in which we live. I was born in England, I was exposed to significant culture norms of my parents but at the same time, I was raised in a culturally diverse community.

There are areas where certain animist activities of my father or the religious extremism of my mother could have impacted negatively on my outlook and worldview, for some reason, there was a part of my education and observation that meant that there was a more independent streak in me, as I have not so fully imbibed any culture, I am more of a world citizen with hopefully a healthy respect for our diverse humanity.

However, we cannot entirely ignore the influence of what the media terms ‘closely-knit’ communities, ethnic minority groups that cluster in areas for social, religious, cultural, economic and traditional validation and affirmation. To say I am suspicious of settings that attempt to create for offspring in host culture the semblance of home cultures long departed by forebears creates serious psychological problems for the children.

Dangers of little-stans

The tendency to create uprooted little-stans and ghettoes to ensure the children do not become alien to the culture of their parents, whilst laudable can be quite damaging too. Culture has become a fluid existence that is an amalgamation of many influences garnered from all the many places in which we interact, that to limit interaction to close-knit communities bereft of accommodation of the wider setting in which they exist is dangerous.

One such significant indication of this is where a cultural predilection to consanguineous marriages amongst certain communities in the UK is the leading cause of child mortality or congenital deformities in the newly born in the UK. The science is clear, but a deference to fatalism seems to reinforce the need to keep the traditional despite the avoidable heartache that comes with it.

The same goes for beliefs and teachings that appear to reject or criticise the norms and values of host communities. I remember whilst looking for a church to attend in the Netherlands walking into two services in different churches in two major cities one Sunday and thinking these were literally slum churches transplanted from Nigeria to the Netherlands.

The language was alien, the teaching was fundamentalist, the views were ultra-conservative that I left with the decision to seek out a church representative of the city in which I live, accepting of the broadest spectrum of humanity from all walks of life with an international and yet integrated cultural viewpoint. I found such in the Christian City Church which was consequently renamed to C3 Church. I felt I not only belonged but I could also contribute without the imposition of some Pharisaic authority over me.

We must attend to it

The process of acculturation is both slow and demanding, yet it is necessary for everyone who departs a home culture for a host culture to have discernment and make the best of every influence to be a net contributor to the fabric of society in which they exist. It means there is less stress on affirming who you are and reduces the necessity to adopt imported practices inimical to a proper and fulfilled life in host communities.

It should cut a swathe through demands of tradition that forbids intermarriage, that requires religious affinity or the person risks ostracism, that supports Female Genital Mutilation which is by terms an evil practice of butchering girls for some deluded idea of tempering sexual expression and worst of the lot, the murders termed honour-killing.

We must be careful what we project on our offspring as culture and traditions that they do not begin to rebel and revolt against sense, sensibility, reason, reasonableness and accommodations of diversity despite our innate beliefs.

What made the young man give up his life to such an atrocious terrorist cause? We may never know, but the signs were there and through the normal cause of minding our own businesses, he in plain sight became the mass murderer whose memory would attract eternal ignominy not only to himself, but maybe unremittingly and unfairly to his family and his close-knit community, when we should all gather together in our shared humanity to mourn the lost, comfort the wounded and strengthen the bonds that celebrate the best of who we are.

Opinion: The Challenge of Rearing Nigerian Children Abroad

An embarrassment of heritage

I was rather discomfited by the news of the conviction of 8 teenagers yesterday for the killing of another teenager in 2010.

There are issues with gang warfare and disputes in London but the brazenness with which these youngsters carried out their assault on another in plain public view leaves one wondering what our society has become.

One teenager stood in the middle of the road wielding a samurai sword and they ended up chasing the victim into a busy London Underground Station where they as many as 15 in number attacked, stabbed, kicked and punched the poor 15-year old Sofyen Belamouadden to death.

That is bad enough, but when I read the names of the perpetrators involved, I feel a sense of eerie familiarity as Junior Bayode, Obi Nwokeh, Christopher Omoregie, Samsom  Odegbune, Femi Oderinwale and Victoria Osoteku all appear to have Nigerian surnames.

They have some Nigerian connection

That is not to say that these people are Nigerian, but one can safely assume they have some connection with Nigeria by reason of parentage and possibly heritage.

The other two might well have Nigerian connections but that is not evident from their names. What bothers me is what the parents and guardians of these kids might have been up to that their wards have ended up on the extreme side of the law having congregated with impunity in the mob act of killing someone else in plain view.

I appreciate that these kids might never have visited Nigeria or experienced what many might call a traditional Nigerian upbringing that gives the parent licence to brutalise their wards in what we broadly call discipline but discipline in and of itself cannot just be corporal punishment – we need to adapt the tools of affirmation and chastisement to the societies we find ourselves in.

Adapting parenting influence

Whereas in Nigeria it is probably enough to dispatch parental responsibility by just being a provider of shelter, food, education and basic welfare, the differences in societal values and expectations mean that parents have to be more involved in attending to the emotional needs of their wards and this is something many might not have found examples of in their own upbringing.

I dare say, where ethnic minorities fail to integrate congregating in conurbations of ghettoised indifference, they shirk in the fundamental responsibility of understanding the pressures their wards face and the society in which they wards are growing – religion and social events amongst ourselves are not enough, we cannot recreate our local villages abroad and hope that it will suffice – it does not.

Just because we cannot bring our kids up the “Nigerian” way does not absolve us of our responsibility in society to bring our kids to respect the rule of law, the dignity of labour and the earning of respect through purposeful activity rather than menace – gangs are fundamentally antithetical to this thinking and one can say it arises because parents are absent from what they are supposed to be doing.

Misguided parental goals

Over the last few years, I have found too many instances where kids of Nigerian heritage have been victims or perpetrators of violent crime, if we must have children in foreign societies it behoves us to exert ourselves to bring them up in environments where they are first not under threat and then not influenced by negative role models.

The preoccupation with keeping up appearances and status in our marooned Diaspora communities when the greater task of separation and integration is of essence for the sake of our children is atrocious – children are better inspired and encouraged by aspirational guardians who provide positive role models that their wards can emulate.

A parenting challenge

It is all too easy to suggest children have become wayward and are the black sheep of the family but if their formative years were spent under a responsible adult’s care and hopefully guidance, then that is probably where things also went wrong – what children end up becoming does not occur in a vacuum.

Looking at those 6 Nigerian names, should be a warning shot across the bows of ethnic parenthood in foreign lands that your involvement is pertinent, that the game plan for child rearing cannot follow the script we once had or experienced back at home and that we cannot spend all hours in the pursuit of filthy lucre if we want the peace of children who will in future go on to live successful, independent lives away from unsavoury encounters with the law and the shame that it brings.

Nigeria: A place called Gege

Working the government we have

It started off as a seemingly innocuous but general posting on Twitter. “If you cannot have the government you want, use the one you have. They are there to work for you.”

It was a variation on Luther Vandross’ song which had the line, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

The nature of Nigerian politics is such that the winner takes it all and those in power have the ability to influence and change things for the better of the people.

Somehow, they are not naturally disposed to attending to their responsibilities and the duties we voted then into office for, it appears they need to be persuaded, goaded, coerced, forced, shamed, challenged by whatever means to be sensitive to the needs of the people and become engaged in the work of good governance.

The role of government

In my view, it is the government that creates the legal framework within which socio-economic development can thrive – civil society needs to know that they can explore, innovate, research, inform and develop enterprise and resource in the setting conducive to advancing their communities and ensuring progress.

However, if civil society hugs the side-lines and just engages in criticism and antagonism they will never engage the government enough to help them realise their aspirations and goals for progress in their communities and the country at large.

Constructive analysis matters

The involvement of the general voting populace the elections was a force to be reckoned with and it must not be allowed to fizzle out, that whole momentum needs to be channelled into demanding accountable and responsive government for everyday day until the next elections.

It was interesting to read the analysis of the first few days in office of the new governor of Imo State by Joachim MacEbong titled Is Rochas for Real? [1] It represents the kind of objective and genuine assessment and analysis we require of the so-called informed and one is hopeful that it will become the trend – it was this that inspired my original Twitter posting.

This lead to a Twitter discussion on the indifference of government to the plight of its citizens and this was exemplified in the comments of Adebiyi Adewale, a Mass Communications major who had seen problems in a suburban ghetto of the city of Ibadan in Nigeria.

A place called Gege

Gege – It was the first I had heard of Gege and there was not much information on Google about the place. As I had been informed, it has serious socio-economic problems of poverty, poor schools, high truancy rates, teenage pregnancy, drug-abuse and probably many other inner-city evils we get regaled with in the news or on television.

Gege calls for a radical intervention but it appears to be invisible to those who matter or the problems seem too intractable that the system will rather work against any agitation for progress than make to change and develop the place.

It might well initially fall on the shoulders of Adebiyi Adewale to give Gege a global profile, a location on Google Maps for starters, the publication of the pictures he has taken of the place, an objective and incisive analysis of the issues and the problems affecting the community and then growing the necessary critical mass to make government react.

It is hard work but possible

Fela Durotoye started something similar for Mushin in Lagos called the Mushin Makeover [2], there is the fear that the initiative has run out of steam, it is no doubt hard work to first drum up support, garner momentum and then keep the interest for lasting goals [3] to be achieved – it is not a task for the faint of heart, celebrity is not enough as engagement has to be enduring and persistent.

Gege is probably symptomatic of many other places in Nigeria and probably typical of the communities show-cased in the Welcome to Lagos series shown by the BBC last year.

What I have learnt so far is there is a place called Gege and there is a Mass Communications expert who will bring his skills and expertise to bear and hopefully bring lasting change to that community, as for the details about the place, I am interested enough to read more about Gege and if you know something about Gege or communities like Gege in Nigeria, it is time to put them on the map and within the sights of those who have the responsibility to facilitate the change those communities need.

Sources

[1] JMac’s Blog – Is Rochas for Real?

[2] Fela Durotoye – Mushin Makeover: History is Made

[3] GemStone Nigeria – Mushin Makeover

Warsaw arising

A tourist itinerary

My first day in Warsaw was interesting as I spoke with the concierge about what interesting things to do and see in Warsaw.

My hotel room on the 7^th floor overlooks the Saxon Garden and work commencing on the restoration of the Saxon Palace, the excavations now showing the old foundations.

After a chat to the concierge, I decided on the Warsaw tour, the guide would pick us up at 13:45, so I had time to kill before that rendezvous.

A quick walk down to Tourist Office for the Warsaw Tourist Card which I might not use, but is useful if I do need to get into one of the museums listed along my way.

A tourist dilemma

As I got to the ramparts of the Old Town, a girl accosted me and requested I stop to talk, I remonstrated saying there was no reason to stop; these squares are full of people trying to con tourists, sometimes you have to be quite assertively uncooperative – the best way is to keep walking and they eventually would fall away.

She had a good story, a university rag day where they to make people smile and engage in some social interaction, the accosted party rates them between 1 to 10 eventually parting with cash for some nondescript children’s charity and signing a form recording this meeting. That is a smart confidence trick if I ever saw one and I got fleeced and ended up with a candle souvenir.

Hardly had I been done over by this lady a man who had been waiting in line came over to tell me a sorry tale about prison, unemployment, food and shelter.

I do not like hearing these tales, I am not the social services and really as a tourist, it is none of my business however hard these people try generate empathy for their circumstances, it is a complete put-off as it sometimes gets aggressive.

Give it me back

I gave him something only to be confronted with the effrontery of it not being enough – You must be kidding me – I doubt if anyone had ever given him as much before I did, but because I could be that generous I sometimes get taken for dork – that really angers me.

On some occasions I have asked to be given back my money and they should go bother someone else, that usually jolts them back to reality, but this time, the only thing I could muster with a loud voice in the crowded square was – I am just a tourist in Warsaw, your problem is not my problem; the last part became a chorus repeated three times as I walked away and he also fell away.

The next little kid who crossed my path with a mendicant’s countenance stiffened by parental guidance got menaced with my cane swinging in offensive poise; I was not going to suffer this stuff gladly anymore.

Getting back on tour

I made it back for the hotel in time to catch a nap and then meet up for the tour of Warsaw which started off as a tour of hotels where only the English and Germans kept time and others kept us waiting for up to 15 minutes and did not utter a greeting talk less of an apology as they boarded the bus.

In fact, I thought it would b a bus tour but it included a two hour walk in different places, so the first walk was through the Park Lazienkowski towards the Palace on the Water which we entered and strangely everyone but those with canes had to wear shoe protectors.

The heavens opened as we roamed the rooms and corridors, this weekend is not expected to exhibit the best of sunny weather even though it would get hot and very humid.

Polish angst weaved into a guided tour

Funny quips about shape of the parliament building looking like circus but the circus really being in the chamber or the some federal building with a yellow colour being a banana republic got us all laughing; the Poles can make fun of themselves.

We called at the monument to the Warsaw Ghetto heroes and heard about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising and the Warsaw Uprising and there have been quite a few in 1794, 1830 and lately 1944 - before we ended up at the Warsaw Old Town where we sought refuge for quiet contemplation in a reconstructed church from the elements before we returned to our hotels.

As interesting as the tour was, along with the very friendly people I met, much of what I gleaned from the tour guide was Polish angst, Polish suffering, the equating of their history to that of the Jews and their more consuming hatred of the Russians over the Germans.

At least the Germans have tried to apologise for the Nazi occupation and Jewish persecution, it would appear Russia is still too big to recognise that they had done Poland wrong, not to talk of the fact that Western Europe went to war with Germany over Poland and then sold them out to the Soviet influence at the Yalta Conference.

Today, I should do something cultural like a Frederic Chopin recital and something scientific about Marie Skłodowska-Curie, both Polish born who emigrated to Paris at some point in their lives.

So far so good.