Opinion: Redeem your integrity not the auditorium

¹¹ And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, ¹² for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, ¹³ till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; Ephesians 4:11-13 (NKJV)

Religious chicanery

You get to a point where certain events in religious circles begin to create the impression that a particular portion of their holy scriptures has been misread or that the reading to our hearing and the actions that follow are completely opposite to that intended piece.

As the convention of a renowned and popular church with a following seeded around the earth in the millions drew to a close, the leader of the congregation launched into an appeal to extend the current auditorium where the people were gathered to a 3 kilometre square tent of proportions that will make the eyes water that those who have the misfortune of sitting at the back might well need at least high-powered binoculars or dare I say a telescope to see the pulpit.

Crowds are masks for trouble

Surely, there is a need to gather for fellowship but there comes a time when size becomes an unwieldy exercise in gargantuanism that other issues of health and safety are a foreboding for a dangerous experiment in crowd control and egress if an emergency occurs - this could spell disaster.

Even in religious settings, we are not given the licence to discard logic and reasoning for the sentimental belief that all is well when the intellect is given to perform a ready and needed function.

Evidence of the fact that things can go seriously wrong was revealed when a 5-year old was apparently abducted from the vicinity of that convention, called Redemption Camp.

It might well be a rarity, but for the parents and relations of that little girl, it is the closest thing to hell on earth at a place when heaven was supposed to meet with the congregants. If the girl does end up being found, and I hope she is promptly reunited with her family, the happiness that ensues should not overshadow the reality of the fact that crowds make it almost impossible to guarantee the safety and protection of little ones, as it also offers cover to those with ulterior motives to operate.

A public relations deficit

Now, this is not the first time that a child has disappeared from a gathering of believers. In another mega-church, the child was missing for two long years until it was returned to its family just recently.

These megachurches whilst majoring on selling the elixir of hope within grasp but out of reach also seem to be poorly equipped for dealing with these matters, as the news story suggests, “It was not the wish of the church that the news of the abduction be leaked to members of the public.”

It begs the question how you intent to find an abducted child without informing the public and engaging the public because, short of a miracle of sorts, it might well require sighting and eye-witnesses as far afield as possible to get that child back.

Poor social responsibility

This theatre which by its size will be larger than any sports stadium in the world might well be the size of some of the largest calderas of mainly dormant volcanos and dormant volcanos are not by any means extinct.

Besides this, the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway that services this camp and many others that line up that road does not have the capacity today to handle the traffic and movement of people and goods for these meetings with tailbacks that upset the already poor traffic conditions in the Lagos megalopolis.

To literally triple the crowds that throng that camp borders on the highest level of community social irresponsibility that has been witnessed in that country where religionists had attained an exculpatory status from being questioned about what they do – it is as appalling as it is atrocious that this idea was conceived, it would be like tripling the size of a body without consideration for the arteries necessary to keep that body alive and well.

He gave some opportunity for show

More galling is the way the appeal was made for funds to build this monstrosity whose idea will give the Tower of Babel a run for its money, in fact, I am now of the persuasion that they all be inflicted with a confusion of tongues so that this hare-brained and ill-thought out scheme is abandoned with the urgency with which it was announced.

From what was reported, no idea was given of the total cost of this project, but the words of the leader were transcribed as follows:

“We need N1 billion from ten people. If you are one of them, please see my personal Secretary after we finish today, we also need N100 million from those who can afford it, if you are in that category. Please see my personal Secretary as well.”

“Nonetheless, we need everyone’s involvement. If you can afford N50 million, N20 million, N5 million, N1 million to as low as N100, kindly make sure you participate.”

Money, just money

If by that token, 10 people each stepped forward to donate these sums, the total will come to NGN 11,760,001,000.00 or at today’s exchange rate $73,280,622.39 and that is if 70 people stepped forward for that challenge out of the thousands gathered there.

The real money and pledges could easily take that to multiples of a hundred, just because they all want to see one man talk, you wonder whether the concept of delegation is anathema, for someone opined recently on Twitter that the organisation has produced more pastors than Nigeria has produced doctors since independent, I presume that is just anecdotal, it could be researched to ascertain its veracity.

Subscribing to the basest of our human instincts, I would suspect the billionaires club will have all the accoutrements of privileged access, helipad to land their choppers, fast-track to their thrones ensconced in the altar – they all have their reward already.

What we heard

But back to the quote that sits atop this blog, what we heard from that reading was more like – And he required some to give 1 billion, some 100 million, some 50 million, and some 20 million and 5 million, for the competition of the saints for the work of his ministry, the building of a larger temple for Christ, till we all come to the unity of derision of the excess and wanton abuse of responsibility in the name of Christianity.

This is not what we should hear, but as they act and do, this is what is happening as one preacher said, it is the junk religion in the celebration of Mammon.

My view

Now, is nothing wrong in building a large auditorium but that should be with reference to more than just putting up the building. One would have thought the reason why private jets are acquired by the glitterati of the preachers world was to visit parishes and outposts rather than attempt to create a new Jerusalem place of pilgrimage in Nigeria which has no particular significance apart from what is beginning to look like catering for the cult of personality.

And before anyone attempts to post a comment on this opinion, engage the reasonable side of your disposition before you script the objectionable side of your views, allow the latent Christian attributes to gain ascendancy over sentiment and emotion expressed with fanatical abandon.

A class struggle disguised as news

The facts lost to the story

Having advised the newsagents on my way to work to have a copy of the Daily Telegraph available, I am still surprised that the tillers, two ladies and a gentleman still do not know the cover price of the paper which is 3 Euros and conveniently down from 3.60 Euros when I was a more regular reader of the paper, years ago.

I do like the way the paper is edited and the writing style, and though it is a paper that leans quite to the right; if not the organ of the Conservative Party in some ways.

Sometimes, it does take on a rather sensationalist tone as it delves into the kind of muck that tabloids wallow in, and when it appears to take up a cause, be assured that it is probably for the privileged or some interesting publicity seeking people pretending to be up with the Jones'.

One typical example comes to mind, years ago when a developer in London's Mayfair - a rather exclusive real estate location - wanted to redevelop some old property. They had persuaded, enticed or threatened all the occupying tenants off the property but one who stubbornly refused to play ball.

The Telegraph launched into a sob story of a old-aged pensioner being turfed out of her residence having stayed there for almost 25 years, she was 71.

Reading further, we find that she was once a stock broker, she drove a red Ferrari and had been offered quite generous alternatives which she stubbornly refused.

Old-aged she was, pensioner quite probably, but not your common pensioner once you peer into the detail.

Big, bluff and full of fun

So, today, a news story appears with a young happy family - husband, wife, 14-year daughter and toddler - typical happy family in the English countryside. Ah! There is a land dispute; in fact, a boundary dispute covering the whole expanse of 6 feet by 2 feet - 12 square feet - that equates to a humongous 1.11483 square metres.

There are greater disputes in the world, but this little piece of England has had the police interviewing the father-in-law of the Leader of the Opposition - David Cameron - for attempted assault as he tried to get the neighbour off his property.

The principal in this matter is Sir Reginald, 8th Baronet Sheffield (61) who sports a bow-tie with a most eccentric appearance - one record says he is big, bluff and full of fun - the archetypical English country baronet [I think that says just about enough in a very nuanced way] - he has had his press, no doubt.

The neighbour however is Mr. Kilmartin a 45-year old man with who has a pacemaker and serious blood pressure problems. He had his blood pressure taken the day after the event and it was through the roof - he should know to take things a bit easy and not get too worked up.

Too inferior, so inferior

Sir Reginald in his first encounter with the Mr. Kilmartin had advised him to speak to the Estate Manager and walked away, then later returned probably a bit annoyed that he was still chatting to the secretary, grabbed Mr. Kilmartin by the shoulder demanded that he get off the property.

Mr. Kilmartin recalls that he was in a state of shock, that is understandable if you also have a ticker, and then one thing Sir Reginald would not get away with was the fact that he made Mr. Kilmartin feel like an inferior citizen - in his words - "He was so degrading, that's what hurts the most".

It would appear Mr. Kilmartin was not aware of the baronet's eccentricity or how to approach an old school baronet - part of the intemperate exchange involved a retort by Mr. Kilmartin - "What's your problem?" - Hardly toff talk.

Now tell me class is not ingrained in the English society, not to talk of the fact that the baronetcy was created for the illegitimate son of the John Sheffield, 1st Duke of Buckingham and Normanby in 1755 - such is the colourful, vibrant and interesting history of aristocracy - adultery, infidelity, illegitimate children and sometimes in-breeding - Shocking!

Even though Lady Diana Spencer was born into an aristocratic family, as HRH Princess of Wales she never really got into appreciating the aristocratic encumbrance of sharing your husband with courtesans - in this case, it was Camilla Parker-Bowles, then married and with children too, something Camilla's husband - Brigadier Andrew Parker-Bolwes handled with integrity (as an officer) and dignity (as a loyal subject) to the common saying - The man who gave life and wife to king and country.

Utter waste of resources and time

But how did the police get involved so much so that the Crown Prosecution Service had to expend taxpayers' money to come to the conclusion that no further action is required? Mr. Kilmartin must have felt all the more degraded that he had to make a public show of this; so a bit of an embarrassment is necessary to teach Sir Reginald a lesson - he is the father-in-law of the Leader of the Opposition who is busy having to wade through the storm of ditching the building of new grammar schools for the a more contemporary infrastructure spearheaded by Tony Blair's Labour Party.

Sneaky, surreptitious and unsportly

In fact, the Daily Telegraph has been giving so much oxygen to opponents of this new Conservative policy that this event in the English Countryside just presented another rotten opportunity to paint David Cameron and now his extended family in very bad light.

They might think it is newsworthy - come on - grown up men cannot resolve a dispute on a matter that is hardly half the size of my bed and this takes up over a quarter of a broadsheet newspaper page?

So, the Kilmartin family presents themselves for a photo opportunity to accompany a finely placed pique of a story that the Telegraph has surreptitiously exploited for ulterior purposes, even I cannot imagine rags like the Sun or the News of the World playing this kind of game. Suffice it to say; even the sophisticated can descend to the basest instincts.

One is definitely not impressed, no, not at all. Though this is not enough to ditch the Daily Telegraph, at least for now.