Board and preach
I was amused to find
an event on my Twitter timeline a few days ago, a 25-second clip of a man in
old-time religion garb waving a bible and preaching the gospel on an aeroplane.
From indications on the screens at the back of the seats, it would appear the
aircraft was just being boarded at that time.
Can he be deplaned at 35,000ft?— Akin Akíntáyọ̀ 🏳️🌈 #FBPE (@forakin) February 16, 2020
Angels shall bear him up in their hands lest he dash his head against a cloud. https://t.co/U1dqgxIlKQ
However, ignoring
that piece of evidence, in a fit of pique, I suggested with a twist in the scriptural phrase the following: “Can he be deplaned at 35,000ft? Angels
shall bear him up in their hands lest he dash his head against a cloud.” Some
did see the humorous side of it, but others took it literally and assumed my
comment was both intolerant and violent.
I now remember that I
did use a similar suggestion in a blog I wrote almost 13 years ago.
Preach the bus
In the interest of full
disclosure, I am a culprit too. In the 1980s, I felt compelled to preach the
gospel to all and sundry. With my clearly non-Nigerian accent, I would raise my
voice in commercial transport to deliver my perspective of the gospel without
scaring the listeners.
On the Lagos State
Transport Corporation (LSTC) buses, I could stand near the front and face
everyone to preach until a bylaw was promulgated to stop preaching on those
buses at the risk of arrest. Whilst the audience might have been irritated, no
one remonstrated probably out of fear of being thought anti-religious in a
rather hyper-religious society.
However, with
hindsight, regardless of how compelled I felt to preach the gospel and the
presumed onslaught of officialdom to curtail a ‘divine’ commandment, I was an
irritation and an encumbrance on the personal space and peace of other hapless passengers
who probably after a hectic day didn’t need a bible thumper to assault them. Yet,
preachers didn’t rise to sell salvation, purveyors of snake oil remedies had
goods to sell with humour and encouragement better than preachers succeeded in
their aims.
Outreach to each
Back to the preacher
on the plane, everything suggests this was the wrongest place in too many
respects to wave a bible around in too many respects. For when the plane is
boarding, the crew are probably a bit stressed trying to get everyone to their
seats, just as passengers are trying to get their carry-on luggage into the
overheads bin whilst trying to make way for others to pass on to their seats.
I travelled about 100,000
kilometres last year, some door-to-door journeys including stopovers lasted
about 28 hours. The last thing I need on the 2nd or 3rd
leg of my journey, one of which could last 11 hours, is someone flailing the
gospel with foreboding to my hearing.
Breach the peace
Besides, I would not
be surprised if certain passengers became uncomfortable to the point of
distress and insisted the preacher be taken off the plane out of fear that the
preacher is a religious extremist up to no good. They would be right to demand
it and the captain might have no other choice. We don’t take suspicious
behaviour for granted when flying anymore.
If this happened
after the flight had taken off, I would think the preacher would be advised to
sit down and fasten his seat belt out of consideration for safety for himself
and the other passengers. If that instruction were ignored, the plane could
return to the airport to have him taken off as a public disturbance and he will
be charged accordingly.
Yet, societies differ
in responses to this kind of behaviour. I was not sure if I was amused or
intrigued when I saw a preacher on the London Underground, I rationalised, if buskers
did get away with it, the preacher though he had licence too.
Impeach the speech
My use of “Angels
shall bear him up in their hands lest he dash his head against a cloud.” Could
be termed a modern variation of “In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest
you dash your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:12 (KJV)
According to the
narrative of the temptation of Jesus Christ, the Devil asked him to throw
himself down from a height and quoted Scripture to suggest God will command angels
to save him from harm. In my usage, the intention was as the preacher would be
a man of faith, if he were taken off the plane at any height, the angels bear
him up safer than a parachute to land safely on terra firma.
I had no doubt about this
even if there were some expected the worst to happen. All said and done, if you
are arrested by the urge to rise to preach the gospel on a plane, I most candid
advice would be – Don’t do it! Thank you.
