Wednesday 9 June 2010

Thought Picnic: Such familial aggravation

Trying not to be angry
A period of disengagement is looming and the consequences might be dire for all concerned. The truth has been shared but no one was listening, they all have their views, their agenda, and their opinions besides mine which really should matter on issues that concern me.
A good deal of one life’s decisions has been made at 44 but one still gets admonished and advised as an adolescent all under the premise of love and being so seriously concerned for one.
And so he thought to himself and on the verge of screaming out loud, sorry, if I am not at where you have had expectations for me, maybe you are not at the point where I have had expectations of you too – not everyone would conform and some would be different – some facts are just what they are and that is what they would be.
This is where I am at
To even think that they can make the adjustments now for not having arrived at where they expected one to be is unfortunate at best, the adjustments – trying to jumpstart another person’s life into this picture they have created, a collage of celluloid happiness packaged as a take-away nuclear family – where I am, is where I am at – live with it or exit left and the door slammed.
The truth, they all probably know and the questions they probably cannot ask – no problems with that, we are saving ourselves from expressions too difficult to understand since that culture which is becoming more alien to one fails to see people as individuals; we are family units with the best and worst as part of that mix.
The choices made would not deviate from the choices made in terms of the life lived, the opportunities taken and the experiences had.
In closing
As he walked home the other night, he thought about friends gone to a place far away and wondered, if I can find no one to mourn me at my passing except for some non-existent wife and kids, well the dead cannot mourn themselves but maybe my blog would just be the lasting memory of me.
Does family have to create such aggravation? Help! I just don’t need the stress, not today and not ever in the future. If they don't know me by now, they would never ever know me - ever.

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