Saturday, 31 December 2022

In the eve of the year of the Lord 2023

What is a year?

Time is a construct of a frame of reference and for us earthlings, it represents how long it takes for the earth to revolve around the sun, our sun. Any day of 24 hours of the earth rotating once on its own axis can become that point from 365 days and a bit is measured to become a year and invariably, every day is a New Year.

It makes one wonder what ushering in the New Year is all about and whether one should put any more significance to any day than another, but in our humanity and depending on the culture and how we relate to the heavenly bodies we have broadly agreed on a concept of time measurement and milestones that makes today the last day of the calendar year of 2022 AD [anno Domini nostri Jesu Christi (in the year of our Lord Jesus Christ)].

It is grace upon me

The religious and Western significance of AD is not lost on me, for it allows me to reflect on the disappointments, misfortunes, sadness, failures, happiness, goodness, mercy, strength, comfort, successes, expectations, hopes, and good health that have defined this interesting year.

On a personal level, I know I am loved beyond what I could ever deserve, and I am grateful to my lover, Brian, my family, my friends, my neighbours, and even strangers that have held me up and buoyed me through situations I could hardly have traversed alone. Even more so, my faith has strengthened me constantly renewing and replenishing where exhaustion deigns to take hold.

Gearing to God

For those who drive, gears need to be engaged for a car to move with some determination, a car in neutral will remain stationary except if it is on an incline and the brakes were taken off, then it rolls and without control might well crash into something, causing damage.

It makes me think about how in religion faith and believing in God is also one of direct and practical engagement in prayer and supplication with desire and conviction for things to happen, God does not work in neutral, though accidents do happen.

The best comes

I am thankful for my health holding strong even after a scare that had me blue-lighted to the hospital a week ago, nothing to fear, just a strain that subsided after a couple of days without any intervention. The suddenly of anxiety soon gave way to the calm of assurance and a recovery of verve and swerve.

Daily, I have reason and cause to smile, even to laugh, to praise and to be filled with thankfulness, the privations of the present being swept away in the deluge of plentiful abundance of means, favour, opportunity, adventure, excitement, and dreams coming true. Let us reach out with the purpose to enter into the jubilee of the year of the Lord 2023.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year, the best is on its way.

Saturday, 24 December 2022

Taken hostage by the NHS

The sentiment applies

Our National Health Service (NHS) is a national treasure sacred cow, many of us owe our lives and health to the amazing professionals who in their qualifications and humanity go the extra mile to attend to ills and ailments that afflict us in life.

Personally, the NHS has served me well from the moment I took my first breath with the alacrity that impressed upon them to immediately find means for me to survive and thrive when I was born just around the end of the second trimester.

Besides, where I meet the NHS for acute health services from the annual influenza vaccinations to the biannual consultations for long-term care, the NHS is an efficiently run outfit with appointments made, patients promptly seen to, and activities executed with despatch.

Another place in time

Much as that selfless service remains, at Accident and Emergency (A&E), the accident of having to visit the hospital is not met with the emergency that one would somewhat expect. The NHS becomes a Never Hurried Situation (NHS) of the immediacy of triage but the interminable wait for consultation with a doctor.

We are kept in the waiting room suffering to varying degrees on seating that should never be used for more than a few minutes for hours on end, expectant and hoping for one’s name to be called to see the doctor just as the system works the clock to ensure that the statistical waiting time is at least 6 hours after arrival, though waiting for over 9 hours was the reality.

You are caught in a Necessitated Hostage Setting (NHS) because your need for the service provided by the A&E compels you to exercise patience as a patient, you cannot leave before you are seen to and if you leave you lose your place and are left unsure of the reason why you sought the service in the first place.

Invariably, you are a hostage of circumstances beyond your control as the medical review you require is not one acquired through self-help even if you were a medical practitioner.

Help is needed

Is there any wonder that when I looked at the board of operational efficiency figures of the said hospital, only one out of the 12 or so indicators met the required standard and yet, someone with a great sense of humour had posters put up in the waiting room asking for our feedback. How likely are you to recommend our services to friends and family if they needed similar care or treatment? Surely, you are kidding me.

Poster in the A&E waiting room at Manchester Royal Infirmary 

Yet, we should be grateful for small and great mercies, we left assured that all is well. A few adjustments are required but nothing to fear, our NHS creaks, yet still delivers. It could be way better, it is the kind of experience you rarely ever want to relive, if you could help it.

Friday, 23 December 2022

My own All Saints' Day

The saints in my canon

It would appear strange that quite deep into the Advent season so close to Christmas, I am celebrating my own version of All Saint’s Day which in the traditional Christian Church calendar starts at the end of October with All Hallows’ Eve, then All Saints’ Day and ends on the 2nd of November with All Souls’ Day.

As it has come up in conversations that I have had recently, I find that there are men interesting and significant who are no more with us, such who have become canonised in my own life story, and this is not a list to supplant that of the church. In these men, usually not deliberate, but significant, I have found direction, insight, and light, even if for a transient and sometimes for longer, they are lauded.

This list is hardly exhaustive, but it is probably the beginning of recognising the influence, impact, and mentoring of people that have mattered in my life.

Unculu

Unculu, he was my uncle, my father’s younger brother, and as a child, he was a deflection from the personality that my dad exuded as a high-achieving and successful man with a home life that strict, stern, and terrifying in the way he disciplined his youngest sibling, my aunt, along with how he commanded an entire of relations that genuflected and regarded him with fear and adulation.

In Unculu, I found that adults can be approachable, you can engage in conversation with them and there were no limits to the expression of ideas or viewpoints that it was of him that I asked if he could wait at his own age for me to catch up. He smiled, as he explained how that age-gap is constant. It was also in him that I observed that being respectful of everyone does not in any way diminish your standing.

Tajudeen Oladipo Akintayo, became Unculu to me, and it was out of respect for him that the Ola part of my name Akinola was not used when I was addressed and I believe when his son who met an untimely death was addressed the Akin part of his name Akinyemi was not used, in consideration of me. Much as there could have been ways Unculu could have influenced me beyond my childhood, I became more of an observer than a follower when he left our household. He passed on in June 2019.

Blog - Thought Picnic: In the husbandry of futility

Uncle Jimoh

Uncle Jimoh, at first, was the son of a patriarch in the north, his father, Baba Bukuru ran a bicycle shop in Bukuru, a suburb of Jos. However, I began to notice that Uncle Jimoh was quite academically brilliant, the kind of person who would go places given the opportunity and whose potential was unlimited in terms of what he could achieve.

I could see the mutual respect that grew between my parents and their younger distant cousin, if there was a beacon of excellence, they desired any of us their children to aspire to, Uncle Jimoh would be a clear example. His success was shared with such unflinching generosity as I experienced in gifts and conversations, especially when he was completing his Quantity Surveying studies in the UK as I was leaving secondary school.

How he influenced me was at the time subtle because I was quite persuaded to consider the same career and it was through certain exchanges with him that I focused more on attending a polytechnic rather than a university. Eventually, I did start with Chemical Engineering but veered towards Electrical & Electronic Engineering which formed the foundations of my career.

For advice, he was present, sometimes commanding, other times adjuring, but mostly advising. He remained through his life someone to look up to and was a significant contributor at the point when I was ready to depart for the UK. Jimoh Ogunnaike, he left indelible footsteps in the sands of time. He passed on in November 2013.

Blog - A great man, we've lost

Uncle Cash

Our initial encounters were relayed to me for I do not have any recollection of an older man observing a precocious child of 5 that arrested the attention of everyone with his speech and his actions, I got told many times of that, it was impossible not to have it encoded in memory.

Around that same time, my father had promised him £10 if he passed the school examinations he had until then failed, a debt still left unpaid, a family canard or more besides, I was not a witness of that shaking of hands.

We had more engaging encounters after he returned from his studies in the UK and through his wife, my aunt, as my first job was also at the same place of work. Many family backstories followed.

He became my guardian in January 1986 by invitation of my aunt and it was from then that he became a purposeful and consequential influence on my life. Much of what I have become is a result of the example he was.

More significantly, he built up my confidence to be assertive, to think with clarity and work at being less encumbered by the emotional or the irrational, it is difficult to quantify or qualify how impactful that was in character building whilst allowing me the courage of my convictions and beliefs.

That relationship-building and cultivating work never stopped and this piece would never capture the essence of who he was to me. Christopher Ademola Soyinka, CASH! To all who knew him passed on in June 2022.

Blog - Uncle Cash!

D-Shash

When I walked into the calico white building at 203 Ikorodu Road, I was in my best shoes knocking on Information Technology company doors looking for work, I had finished my trek of Ikeja and was on my way to Lagos Island and Ikoyi when I caught a glimpse of IT Systems Ltd literally opposite the famous Baptist Academy. Even with that school, I have some old history.

I walked into IT Systems and asked for work, after a few questions and answers, I was offered a job to start the following Monday. Little did I know of what was happening upstairs apart from whispers about an unassuming larger-than-life lawyer with his team of researchers working on the Nigerian Supreme Court Cases and about to beat the renowned Gani Fawehinmi at the game of annotating, cataloguing, and expositing the cases of the supreme court from 1963.

My first encounter with Deji, D-Shash to everyone was when they asked for some help with their computers, I went upstairs, fixed the issue in minutes and for that, Deji dipped his hand in his pocket and offered me NGN 50; that was a quarter of my monthly salary, but I politely declined it, what I did to resolve the problem was just too trivial to charge for, I had sown a seed of some recognition in his mind.

Meanwhile, a classmate who was staying with me out of the generosity of my Uncle Cash because he had another job with an IT firm in Lagos shared some discs with me containing the desktop publishing application, Xerox Ventura Desktop Publisher which in my spare time, I learnt to use quite proficiently and that opened many doors. Another long story.

I fixed a number of problems happily for Deji upstairs and still refused any payment or gifts until I left IT Systems to go contracting. A month into my stint, word got to me that Deji wanted a meeting with me. He had a sporadic business relationship with an African American desktop publishing consultant1 where he needed additional commitments, and so he wanted me not as an employee, but as a consultant to support their desktop publishing projects and also train the staff on the basics. (1I have since learnt Rhonda Dabiri, passed on in April 2020)

The deal he offered was borne of a level of respectful courtesy rare in people of means and power, before I had thought of it, he said, whenever you are ready to leave for England, your ticket is paid for, apart from that, I will give you a monthly stipend, and you can come and go as you wish because I know you have many engagements. How that boosted my professional confidence was beyond belief, I was in a high-profile role with considerable visibility to clients seeking desktop publishing expertise.

It opened many doors including my first return to the UK as a business representative and technical directory of a fledgling desktop publishing company veering away from traditional printing methods. Deji Sasegbon SAN, was a towering influence that helped set the course of majorly contracting career with the seed of negotiating terms that best suited my kind of personality. He passed on in December 2016.

Blog - Adieu D-Shash! (Deji Sasegbon)

John

He had placed a job advertisement in the Pink Paper that I had no qualifications for, but I was seeking to break out of the public sector into the private sector without much success.

I sent my CV to John without expecting a response, but I did get a call, and the first thing he said was he liked my CV, but it was not saying enough about my knowledge and experience. He then offered to spend time with me on my CV to fix it and make it more marketable.

I visited his office and the next 4 hours that evening were spent shaping up my CV, the result of which was a job in the private sector in less than 2 months.

For an older man in the technology field, John had constantly reinvented himself, and engaged lots of young talent, giving them not just opportunities but opening them up to challenges that stood in good stead for the development of their careers. He even offered an engaging internship to one of my friends who need essential tutelage to prepare him for the UK IT market.

Then John was more than an encouraging voice of support, where I had doubts about my abilities or capabilities, John would say, “Akin, I know you can do it.” That was the impetus to believe in me.

Beyond that, John was generous with his time, a mentor with great insight, a supporter with a stern teacher’s background, yet empathetic to the core. His work on my CV is foundational to the way my CV looks today, and that skill has been transferred to me to help others realise value and recognition out of their CVs.

John Alexander Coll passed on 9 years ago today in December 2013.

Blog - John Coll: Friend, Mentor, Gentleman

Wednesday, 21 December 2022

57 encounters of blessings and thankfulness

I guess you already know there’s always a complementary birthday blog.

Hope alive beyond today

57, that is like three lives of 19, a number or a milestone, but either way, it is a celebration that I am grateful to memorialise and journal, for of many that I know, I have been the most fortunate and blessed to have the stories I get to tell.

Indeed, I would have loved to celebrate today in the company and the arms of my partner Brian in the warmth of the summer of the southern hemisphere, but the best laid-out plans can so easily be disrupted, the present disappointment prepares us for greater adventurous prospects of fun and more beyond what we might ever desire, it is not a train smash, he would say.

Life-affirming faith and love

Besides, it has been an interesting year, tough at times and exciting at other times, but that is the stuff of life. When I think about my circumstances 13 years ago, I could not have imagined and I could not see as far as today as everything was just so absolutely dire, yet the intervening years have brought a storied existence of life reinvented, happiness reconsidered, joy reverberating, and love rejuvenating, I am highly favoured.

Friends and family have been an unerring source of support and providence, I have been lifted and kept aloft with kindness, goodness, generosity, and love. I sometimes pinch myself, all this for me? At 57, I am grateful to God and the providence that took that little child that needed an incubator rather than a manger that Tuesday morning into a journey of the life celebrated today.

Unspeakable gratitude with thanks

I am full of thanks for the encounters brief and longstanding that have given me meaning and reason to strive to be a better person in every way possible. I can imagine maybe things that could have been, but I am encouraged that this is the best existence, it has the best stories and the wildest adventures, along with the goodness and mercy that follows me every day.

Having decided it will be quiet and without drama, I will still make it a day to remember, every birthday is a day to reflect, celebrate, and appreciate the wondrous grace of the divine that showers blessings in abundance over me.

We live not just to survive, but to thrive, we speak not just to be heard, but to be impactful, we love not just for companionship but to be examples of assuring togetherness, we write our stories to contribute our small part to the concept of humanity, and that is my resolve daily for as long as I have breath. To my 57th birthday and the hope for many more to celebrate. Thank you.

Monday, 19 December 2022

Comments revealing a heart of darkness

Passing time on stories

Sweeping through new stories on my mobile phone as both a form of distraction and maybe disinterest until some usual clickbait headline catches your eye, you delve into it just to read what is being talked about.

Much as I am not into celebrity culture, there is always something to arouse your curiosity and once you have read the story, it never really ends with the story, as you are forming opinions of what you have read, you move on to the comments and that is where you get a feel of reactions to the story.

Comments in the heart of darkness

Reading one such story around a celebrity speaking candidly about their family situation, the first few comments that followed were dismissive, vitriolic, nasty, and horrible. They got me thinking about whether those comments were a reaction to what they had read or a projection of who they were.

The unnecessary nastiness towards people you do not know or will ever encounter in life never ceases to amaze me. How people just need to think ill of others, castigate and excoriate them and have the considered intention to reveal reprehensible views in these commenting sections is a mystery.

Saying nothing at all

I am of the disposition, if you have nothing good to say, say nothing, keep your counsel and let sleeping dogs lie. Where I have felt animosity toward others, I try to reflect on why I feel that way, consider why I have been unable to gain a better understanding and perspective of the person, rationalise the differences of circumstances and hope that it is not elements of the deadly sins seeking expression in my words and thoughts.

Obviously, there are other matters that would elicit comment which in my case would tack towards a generalisation in lessons for our humanity or if I may use football parlance, I got for the ball rather than the man. You might inadvertently foul the man, but it is rarely, if ever, intentional.

Finding light in the dark

Maybe, just maybe, it is a personality trait along with the excess of indolence that drives people to reveal much more of themselves by expressing views about others. It is that finger-pointing paradox, with one pointing out and your other fingers at yourself. If you should have to point with your four fingers and thumbs, it looks like an outstretched hand, one giving directions rather than an accusatory poise.

I sometimes wonder why I read some comment sections because they are majorly depressing and do not help the best of our nature. Yet in the mess of the unwholesome comments are gems of enlightenment and wisdom, they excite and encourage, hopefully, we catch them early before a pall of discouragement descends on our view of the other person.

Friday, 16 December 2022

Thought Picnic: That warmth has caught a chill

A sealed witness to see

My closest friends have identified a character flaw that reflects my disposition to reclusiveness and clamming up when things are not the way they should be.

I cannot recall the number of times I have heard in the last couple of weeks, “It is me, Akin/love, you do not have to shy with me.” I do not know if I can call myself a veteran of adversity, but I have my own share of stories that I hope I would find the words in reflection looking back to talk about life and its experiences, the way my hopes and fears play in the daily toil to get to a better place.

It is probably a conditioning that regardless of how difficult and dire the situation is, you put a good face on it, and make the best appearance of things as you prevent the stress, the turmoil, and the uncertainties from eating you up from the inside out.

I feel the changes

Yet, I could sense in my voice as I was speaking to my best friend that it had lost a timbre of confidence and self-assurance, my usually trusty guard was down and he made inroads into the recesses of my psyche that is rarely available and out of that came respite and support, I sorely needed but never deigned to ask for.

On an intimate level with my partner, I am even more an obscurity, that he deploys his sixth sense to read my visage and my usage of words to elicit information out of me. At other times, he follows his gut feeling and acts with such prescience almost like a seer. I do not give him enough credit for how much he understands me.

Another thing I felt yesterday was when I went into our local office for some documents to be endorsed and notarised, in explaining how I was effectively on a ‘zero-hours contract’ situation to the senior manager who asked, I distinctly realised there was no colour in my face, I had a blank and pall expression that I did not need a mirror to observe, my humour was deserting me.

Blog - Hypothetically, a zero-hours contract, it is

If only I could talk better

You do not become an expert in suffering, rather, you find ways to cope and work through it. For all that you have to accommodate, you cannot afford for circumstances to steal your sleep whilst you seek the words or music of comfort that tells you that though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death at this time, you are on your way to new green pasture and still waters as the Psalmist says in Psalm 23.

One thing I still am not that good at is asking for help when I do need that help.

Tuesday, 13 December 2022

Asking ChatGPT to blog like me

AI not on my blogging mission

I decided to try the ChatGPT Artificial Intelligence Chatbot that apparently specialises in dialogue, as we are told. As a presumably blogging veteran of 19 years, you read so much about AI and how the developments, advances, and mechanics of it might eventually replace us and our sometimes-unappreciated creativity.

I had one question to ask the ChatGPT to answer and immediately it produced a blog that I have published below.

Somehow, I feel in this area of creative expression, much as ChatGPT was quick to run to the press, I doubt it gave heed to the most essential component of my request which is to write in my style with reference to my blog.

Maybe, just maybe, for now, I will not be replaced by an AI facility pretending to gather and express my thoughts in my somewhat unique way. God forfend, American spelling, I am quite truly offended.

I may at another time conduct a review of how and why I might or may not have written this blog this way.

The link to ChatGPT, registration with Captcha and Multifactor Authentication (MFA) will be requested.

Request to ChatGPT

Write a blog in the style of Akin Akintayo who blogs at https://akinblog.nl

ChatGPT output

[Edited only for formatting]

Hello everyone!

Today, I wanted to talk about the importance of self-reflection. As we go about our daily lives, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget to take a step back and reflect on ourselves and our actions.

But self-reflection is crucial for personal growth and development. By regularly taking the time to introspect, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves, our motivations, and our goals. We can also identify areas where we need to improve and make changes to become the best versions of ourselves.

One way to practice self-reflection is to set aside some time each day, perhaps in the evening before bed, to reflect on the events of the day. Ask yourself questions like:

·        What did I do well today?

·        What could I have done better?

·        What did I learn today?

Another way to practice self-reflection is to keep a journal. Writing down our thoughts and experiences can help us process them and gain insights that we might not have otherwise.

In addition to personal growth, self-reflection can also improve our relationships with others. By understanding ourselves better, we can communicate more effectively and empathize with others. We can also identify and address any negative patterns of behavior that might be damaging to our relationships.

So make sure to set aside some time for self-reflection. It might not always be easy, but it's an essential part of being a happy and fulfilled person.

Until next time, take care!

Akin Akintayo