In a brotherhood we stand at !Audacious Church

In brotherhood we stand

Last weekend, I attended a men’s conference at !Audacious Church which goes by the title Brotherhood.

The theme of the conference was “Faith for …” and one can only say that the messages were enlightening, inspiring and exhilarating.

Yet again, from another perspective as I have seen in other men’s conferences in Pentecostal circles before, these gatherings are overtly muscular, an orgy of heterosexual celebration seeking an inlet to the vulnerability of full-grown men.

The view from the book

We were not disappointed and really I cannot take issue with situations that I willingly and wilfully let myself in for.

This conference taking place just as we celebrated the first gay marriage in the UK elicited comment from the Pastor about what the bible says and I guess we’ve heard it all before and again.

My concern stems from the fact that I do know what the bible says, we all, if religious, know most of what our religious tomes say and how sometimes we tend to hang on every word of the letter and leave out the humanity needing ministry.

Beyond the book to people

Now, this is not to attack anyone, but I have many times come to understand that what the bible says might mean a lot to me yet very little to others. The others whose impressions of religion have come from the experiences they have suffered from being put down as unworthy, unclean, common, hell-bound, hopeless, dirty and much else.

Their lives have been made miserable by people who portend to have some spirituality with the arrogance of ‘knowing’ that they are closer to God than others.

In that vein, it is difficult to see how to persuade and proselytise without bludgeoning the person into helpless submission, it is unhealthy.

My Good Samaritan view

I hope that when I encounter the broader diversity of our humanity, I am a light than a flame, that I have an embrace of warmth to offer than an accusative finger pointing out where they are wrong, bad, difficult, rotten or inferior.

For some people the spirituality I espouse would only become effective when I meet them where there is a need, an angel of compassion than hopes that the encounter would bring a thankfulness, a cheerfulness, some happiness and a hope. I believe that gets further than “the bible says.”

If the Samaritan who we now know as the Good Samaritan had followed spirituality over humanity as the priest and Levite had done before him as they walked past the man left for dead by the wayside, we would have had no such lesson of how our humanity matters more above spirituality. Neighbourliness transcends norms.

Left a spiritual Humpty Dumpty

Yet, in these conferences, we have ample space for conviction, though in some more vulnerable than others, they would be consumed with guilt and condemnation, broken and helpless, the showing of hands with a prayer supposed to transform the person almost in an instant. But some are left spiritual Humpty Dumptys with no king’s men to put them back together again.

Between denial and acceptance

As you wander between discernment and critique, it is important to know when you have become part of the mass hysteria as the crowd is worked up to a frenzy. It is at that time that so many things Anglican allow for a personal and private spiritual awakening within a public celebratory space.

Pentecostal circles are highly expressive, seeking a public declaration and almost at the same time bringing a sense of satisfaction to the protagonists who deign in acknowledgement, the power of persuasion.

The atmosphere is combative to the point of being aggressive, your response is required else you are almost condemned for being ashamed that it compels you to react – on whether it is right, I cannot say. But if God knows the heart of every man, does a man have to see the hand of every heart?

Choose where I go

I left the conference sat on a fence disputing between who I am and whether I should accept myself or reject myself. Under that kind of mental duress, much harm can be wrought, for a man who is not a husband or father, nor aspiring to be one, a lacking is exposed that only having been happy with yourself before and having learnt to love who you are can help dampen the supposed inadequacies.

At my age, I sometimes wonder if men’s conferences have much to offer me after from a stark realisation that I might well be too radically different from others who bare, seek or manage the responsibilities of husband, father, marriage and strongly conservative leanings.

I am well advised to choose the conferences I attend wisely.

Nigeria: Jonathan takes Aso Rock to vacate Presidency

Nigeria of promise

Nigeria is as eventful and exciting a place as ever, especially when it comes to power, money and politics.

The big surprise was however rooted in the expectations of 2015, about who would run and for the big prize, the Presidency.

With the National Conference in full play as delegates snooze themselves through serious deliberations that has Nigeria sleepwalking into an uncertain future, more certain things exist.

Safe in the knowledge

Aso Rock survived an incursion on by insurgents along with a successful defence of the armed forces against a jailbreak close to the seat of power.

This seems to have given the President great assurances for his future and that would be wonderful news to his beloved spouse, Dame Patience who some people uncharitably think her title is of similar provenance to the roadside procurer of abortions that labels himself a doctor and consultant gynaecologist.

Then the President having successfully apportioned blame where it is due, the world overblowing Nigerian corruption, the Northern leaders exacerbating Boko Haram terrorism and much else that it would appear he is responsible for nothing, it became evident to the man to concentrate on his future.

Aso Rock, going for a song

In a deal to make the eyes water, for not running in the Presidential elections of 2015, Goodluck Jonathan has apparently agreed to receive Aso Rock, the Presidential complex, with two jets of the Presidential fleet assigned for his private use, four assistants of cabinet rank, whilst retaining the respect and graces of an ex-President along with the emoluments of retirement generously doubled to assuage the loss of office.

In essence, the new elder statesman would suddenly be catapulted into the stratosphere of eminent world leader and consequently it would put him in the front running for the Mo Ibrahim Prize for Achievement in African Leadership.

A great man is born

To many of Dr Goodluck Jonathan’s detractors, this would be a most dramatic turnaround of status, standing and credibility giving Nigeria an ex-leader in the class of ex-US Presidents who have gone on to do greater things than when they were in office.

It is necessary that we have new Presidential quarters as we have over time replaced the accommodations of senior political officers with even gaudier expressions of kitsch architecture. Aso Rock needs a new Aso Villa with better isolation from the realities of Nigeria to allow new leaders concentrate on the job of leading their lives in oblivious awareness of little Nigerian lives.

It can only be said with this deal that President Jonathan has like a visionary that he always was put himself before Nigeria in a way that deserves commendation and praise we cannot find the words to express even if inebriated.

In the end, we can only say, long live Nigeria and the greatest good luck in Nigeria has surely without doubt gone to Goodluck Jonathan, the boy without shoes who has walked away without as much as a forced shoo.

Words describing an interesting week

Complicated, a simple thing made more complex for reasons you are yet to understand.

Clarity, a state of having an understanding about why.

Confidence, a state of being emboldened to do something right.

Confusion, the absence of clarity exacerbating a lack of confidence.

Chaos, when clarity, confidence and confusion are leaning in the opposite direction of everything you want to do, that is really complicated.

Calm, when you walk away.

Character, when you return to bring calm to the confusion and calm by seeking clarity and acting on that understanding with new confidence by simplifying the complicated.

Concise, writing about a long week in retrospect.

Alan Turing: Victim of Prejudice, Champion of Modern Expression

My country of acceptance

As I left a Starbucks Café on Sunday, I saw two men sat quite close together in a posturing that could only mean they were at a rendezvous and they were probably lovers.

I felt gratified to live in a country of liberty, tolerance, acceptance, accommodation and understanding. This was a country quite different from 60 years before.

A great and different man

To a man, we owe much and yet he was different, persecuted and prosecuted but a genius, a gift to our world lost because the establishment frowned on an expression of himself that in no way affected the abilities he brought to his vocation.

To him we owe much for his contribution to the war effort during World War II for which he was honoured and as one of the 100 Most Important People of the 20th century, the Time Magazine had this to say of him, “The fact remains that everyone who taps at a keyboard, opening a spreadsheet or a word-processing program, is working on an incarnation of a Turing machine.”

For Alan Turing is today, a man, pardoned, celebrated and appreciated as the father of Computer Science.

Celebrate humanity above all

We all have needs and in all of us is a sexual expression acted upon by reason of our sexuality which in essence does not deduct from our ability to perform with excellence in other spheres of life to benefit humanity as a whole.

And as I trekked back home, I stopped by at Sackville Park where I also paid my respects to Alan Mathison Turing, 1912 – 1954, who as a victim of prejudice with the knowledge and expertise he brought to this world gave us the democracy of expression.

Choose acceptance

I would not speculate as to what else Alan Turing would have done with his far-thinking genius and ability if he had lived for longer, but we now know that the world we had 60 years ago is far different from the world we have today.

For we have the capacity for understanding diversity to accept difference and the ability to exercise tolerance for the greater cause of our humanity, if we choose to be better than what age-old beliefs and traditions have constantly taught us to do.

We must happily or grudgingly come to a point where we are able to express gratitude for our shared humanity, where we would not prejudge before we understand or castigate before we embrace – we all have a duty to be examples regardless of our beliefs, of tolerance rather than bigotry, whether we would rise to that challenge is for each individual to decide.

!Audacious Church, Manchester

A wonderful life

One of the things I do when I move into a new city is look for a place for spiritual comfort, and since I am Christian, I look for a church.

My beliefs which are sometimes accompanied with serious doubts and the self-flagellation of not being what I hope I can be, have sustained me through many difficult times in my life, through cancer and other privations.

If I ever got to write my story properly, I guess I can safely say I have seen my share of amazing success and lamentable adversity all of which I would put down to an eventful life, whenever the end of it comes.

Audacious, it is

Over a month ago, I wrote to the pastor of my old church in Amsterdam, C3 Amsterdam, seeking a character reference and I informed him that I had been attending the sung Eucharist at Manchester Cathedral which sets services by Anglican Church standards.

In his response he informed me of !Audacious Church in Salford. It is evangelical with a Pentecostal leaning and I dare say, quite different from many churches of that genre that I have attended before.

The name of the church alone is audacious and it is audacious too to break English grammar rules and put the exclamation mark before the word rather than after it.

It might be a trend of sorts, but since 2001 I have attended evangelical churches that seem to have an Antipodean provenance. Christian City Church which became C3 Global in Amsterdam and London, Hillsong London and now !Audacious Church all seem to have Australian roots.

Rocking my comfort zones

I guess I am attracted to the broad global diversity of these churches wherever they have broken ground and the liberal embracing community spirit that the church leaders preach and act out. You cannot but feel welcome in the atmosphere of these places. My C3 family was ever so supportive in hard times, love, compassion and grace abounded.

Whilst in the Anglican Church I would have been comfortable with the solemnity of Rock of Ages cleft for me, !Audacious Church praise and worship time does challenge everything about my Englishness, the music is loud, the words uplifting – the lead singer is wild, by my standards, the lights are low – I must eat more carrots to see in the dark, and it is almost like I am in a rock concert.

In the 4 services I have attended already, my 48-year old bearing with a cane sometimes wonders if I have strayed off into a place where I should not be seen. The youthful liveliness of the church is both exuberant and enthusing, you are quite tempted to exert yourself with that daring of someone half your age until you think better of the idea and sway with dignified posturing.

I can stay here

It takes a while for me to commit to a church, I guess for me, I try to find a place. In smaller churches, this is quite obvious and as it grows you already know where you can extend yourself. However, when you walk into a much larger church, it is quite easy to be invisible and whilst we, the English, would easily make conversation with anyone, making acquaintances that then turn into friendships is a much involved process we have nowhere near mastered – I speak for myself in particular.

Most of my friends, I have known for at least 20 years, I’ve become like the Dutch I once castigated for not easily widening their circle of friends beyond those they have known since the year dot.

As questions arose in my mind, the message today seems to have been spoken to answer many of my questions about committing, belonging, engaging, supporting within the church.

I know it would not happen suddenly, but I think for as long as I am in Manchester, I can make !Audacious Church my church. I am getting comfortable, but like we were always advised at Hillsong London, “Just keep coming back.”

The other questions that linger would eventually find answers, and where the conflicts remain, the ability to adapt and have as much sense as an old cow is the way to go, I’ll eat the hay and leave the baling wire.

Thought Picnic: Giving up easy pleasures for lasting happiness

Confused into conflation

How we have lost the meaning of the pursuit of happiness by thinking concatenating a stream of pleasures constitutes happiness.

The pleasure is however just for a moment, in fulfilling a need, a desire, some greed providing some sort of sensual gratification.

We are pleased to see, to touch, to feel, to taste or to hear, each moment as momentary as it is fleeting, coming and going as a series of events that we react to or chase after, but are never fully satisfied because it cannot be sustained.

Pleasure cannot last

Pleasure is a lustful pursuit and lust needs not be overtly sensual, but it comes with temptations, it exercises the weakest parts of our will and feeds on the things we too easily succumb to as it accentuates and exaggerates places where we strive to gain control and have purpose or direction.

Some pleasure comes with excitement and then the novelty of it wears off leaving us seeking the next thrill. Immediacy and impatience usually gives pleasure scope to bedevil us. Essentially, pleasure is not happiness.

Happiness is what you decide to have

Happiness is a state of the mind, a state of well-being which can have some pleasure. The words can be synonymous but the reality is happiness is lasting.

You can decide to be happy and with that might come some pleasure, however, how we please ourselves would necessarily mean we are happy.

It is when we confuse happiness and pleasure that we begin to depress ourselves, worry unnecessarily and vacillate between satisfaction and dissatisfaction that creeps ever so menacingly into every area of our lives.

The pleasure that ruins us

It gets to a point where we begin to abuse ourselves in the quest for pleasures that we think make us happy in ever increasing desperation to repeat the old pleasurable moment, yet we fail woefully at recreating the same feeling that draws us deeper into unhealthy choices and ruinous addictions. We become lascivious lacking all restraint and reserve.

When we learn to do without the props of ephemeral pleasures and still retain an outlook that is wholesome, positive, expectant and hopeful, we lay the foundations to the greater influence of happiness in our lives without being driven to either pleasure ourselves or please others in a downward spiral of despondent, depressing, dejected and damaging thoughts that fill us with misery.

Whilst you can be pleased, seek to be glad, be yourself rather than try to be something else, have your own voice and use it with confidence and watch how believing in yourself and what you can do brings you happiness that you can build upon and use to change your life for the better.

Thought Picnic: Let companionship make you blossom

They bolstered me

Sometimes I wonder about the power of relationships, companionship and love that helps people be more complete than they could ever be as individuals.

In the few significant relationships I have had, I realise that beyond the broadening of my perspective to things I would have never experienced before, I have been my most productive and creative by reason of their support, their love and their companionship.

Then again, when we broke up, I found that a part of me died, I lost focus, perspective and verve, the mourning period distracted me from a purposeful existence as I tried to gather what was left of a broken heart, broken communion and broken communication.

Eventually, I got beyond it, but in retrospect I have begun to respect, cherish and honour the significance of each of the partners in my life and for that I am both grateful and thankful.

Oneness to completeness

I once said to a friend when he was about to get married that the oneness of the union is more than the ceremony, the identity or the copulation. As he lamented his inadequacies, I challenged that perception of things with the argument that a partner is to augment and to make up for where one is lacking, the togetherness in thought and spirit would always produce an unbeatable team.

They are both coming to the 11^th year of their relationship and in my view, I have never seen a better complementing couple in a long time.

Basically, we cannot afford to let conflicts simmer in relationships because that is what stifles the dynamic of supportiveness and augmentation that fuels the daring to extend beyond ourselves to do what we as individuals would have considered impossible. Companionship is more than essential, it is the life of creative expression to our partners first and then to the world.

They see more than we see of ourselves

Our partners recognise and inspire in us what we fail to see of ourselves, they accommodate and accept our imperfections in order to give the better parts of our humanity a life and purpose.

Yet, not all partnerships are perfect for all sorts of reasons, we sometime tire of each other, lose the ability to rejuvenate or rekindle that spark that brought us together, can drift apart even if we are in close proximity and end the friendship that for all honest reasons should not end.

When a person has shared of your life, they already have a part of it, the relationship might evolve but we are lesser of ourselves if we allow it to deteriorate to the point that we can no more stand each other. Yet, we unfortunately, lapse into such situations, dying a little more than we should in the process.

Love makes you excel

Watching the biopic about Yves Saint Laurent reawakened the joy and fulfilment one can find in love, what it does to eliminate peripheral turmoil to allow you to concentrate on what you know to do best, be it creative, productive or fulfilling.

Yves Saint Laurent celebrated as one of the most gifted couturiers of the 20^th Century probably would have been recognised eventually, but he had the greatest support of all of his partner Pierre Bergé who pulled him through hard times and helped create his eponymous label when Christian Dior broke his contract.

What I saw in them was the power of relationship, the power of companionship and ultimately and most significantly, the power of love and how that gave Yves the impetus and drive to explore and create, despite the demons that haunted him.

Give love a chance

It also reinforces my belief that the union in any relationship between consenting adults irrespective of gender pairing is a dynamic of personalities and affinity, oblivious of what others might think.

Whether straight, gay, bisexual or other, if you can find love, love and love well, the pursuit of happiness is yours to grasp with all you can, we have just one life to live we all have the creative ability to find happiness and in that also have someone to share it with.

Yet, some of us will remain single, but we must not if love and companionship comes our way deny ourselves the joy of it, just because of our experiences before. Even I think I can love again. I guess I am a hapless romantic, deep down.

Give love a chance and watch it better your life.