Saturday 22 March 2014

Thought Picnic: Let companionship make you blossom

They bolstered me
Sometimes I wonder about the power of relationships, companionship and love that helps people be more complete than they could ever be as individuals.
In the few significant relationships I have had, I realise that beyond the broadening of my perspective to things I would have never experienced before, I have been my most productive and creative by reason of their support, their love and their companionship.
Then again, when we broke up, I found that a part of me died, I lost focus, perspective and verve, the mourning period distracted me from a purposeful existence as I tried to gather what was left of a broken heart, broken communion and broken communication.
Eventually, I got beyond it, but in retrospect I have begun to respect, cherish and honour the significance of each of the partners in my life and for that I am both grateful and thankful.
Oneness to completeness
I once said to a friend when he was about to get married that the oneness of the union is more than the ceremony, the identity or the copulation. As he lamented his inadequacies, I challenged that perception of things with the argument that a partner is to augment and to make up for where one is lacking, the togetherness in thought and spirit would always produce an unbeatable team.
They are both coming to the 11th year of their relationship and in my view, I have never seen a better complementing couple in a long time.
Basically, we cannot afford to let conflicts simmer in relationships because that is what stifles the dynamic of supportiveness and augmentation that fuels the daring to extend beyond ourselves to do what we as individuals would have considered impossible. Companionship is more than essential, it is the life of creative expression to our partners first and then to the world.
They see more than we see of ourselves
Our partners recognise and inspire in us what we fail to see of ourselves, they accommodate and accept our imperfections in order to give the better parts of our humanity a life and purpose.
Yet, not all partnerships are perfect for all sorts of reasons, we sometime tire of each other, lose the ability to rejuvenate or rekindle that spark that brought us together, can drift apart even if we are in close proximity and end the friendship that for all honest reasons should not end.
When a person has shared of your life, they already have a part of it, the relationship might evolve but we are lesser of ourselves if we allow it to deteriorate to the point that we can no more stand each other. Yet, we unfortunately, lapse into such situations, dying a little more than we should in the process.
Love makes you excel
Watching the biopic about Yves Saint Laurent reawakened the joy and fulfilment one can find in love, what it does to eliminate peripheral turmoil to allow you to concentrate on what you know to do best, be it creative, productive or fulfilling.
Yves Saint Laurent celebrated as one of the most gifted couturiers of the 20th Century probably would have been recognised eventually, but he had the greatest support of all of his partner Pierre Bergé who pulled him through hard times and helped create his eponymous label when Christian Dior broke his contract.
What I saw in them was the power of relationship, the power of companionship and ultimately and most significantly, the power of love and how that gave Yves the impetus and drive to explore and create, despite the demons that haunted him.
Give love a chance
It also reinforces my belief that the union in any relationship between consenting adults irrespective of gender pairing is a dynamic of personalities and affinity, oblivious of what others might think.
Whether straight, gay, bisexual or other, if you can find love, love and love well, the pursuit of happiness is yours to grasp with all you can, we have just one life to live we all have the creative ability to find happiness and in that also have someone to share it with.
Yet, some of us will remain single, but we must not if love and companionship comes our way deny ourselves the joy of it, just because of our experiences before. Even I think I can love again. I guess I am a hapless romantic, deep down.
Give love a chance and watch it better your life.

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