Nigeria: Abusing the Honours System

Honoured for service

A few years ago, my father was honoured with a chieftaincy title by the king of our hometown; when I heard of the news, I was certainly pleased for him knowing that he had been conferred this honour by reason of his work and commitment towards the development of our town.

Of his generation, he stood out as one who gathered the people, engaged his peers and encouraged the powerful to raise the profile of the town. Titles like these are primarily the means by which clans and tribes are able to honour leaders in their communities.

The electrification project, the building of the cathedral, the refurbishment of the primary school, the building of the secondary school, the mentoring of the younger generation – they were hallmarks of his service – work of over 40 years rewarded by a grateful people and their king.

The patriot that he is, I am definitely not and if he bore his traditional title in formal address, I would not begrudge him.

Dishonouring honour

However, I worry about the way titles and honours get dished out by whim or caprice by any traditional leader of the hut, hamlet, village, great city, tribal land or kingdom.

Everyone gets conferred with a chieftaincy title such that we are probably running out of people to give modernistic irrelevant but trendy titles that the pets might begin to feature in these ceremonies.

Ológìní of Gbókítí (Cat of Tumbler) or Ajáọba of Mẹ́ranyìí (King’s Dog of catch the goat) – The imaginary places could easily be your homestead.

People go out of their way to flatter and aggrandise themselves before traditional leaders who in turn are captivated and entranced by the show of wealth that could be used to buttress wanton excesses in the throne-room.

Honours by the basketful

This all for the sake of being addressed as chief with the most prized title being Otunba (Right-hand man of the king), though, I rarely see anyone interested in being the left-hand man of the king. You wonder if the king has lost a hand in battle.

I remember when Gbenga Daniel, the governor of my home state, Ogun State ran for election in 2003, he had already bagged about 50 chieftaincy titles from literally every named habitation in Ogun State and more from other states.

He is formally addressed as Otunba Gbenga Daniel; his wife currently holds the fanciful title of Yeye Aare Ajibosin of Owu kingdom and is addressed as Yeye Olufunke Daniel. Yeye being a synonym for mother in Yoruba.

Honours from anywhere

You then have people who seethe with religious addiction and superstitious stupidity whilst in the bondage of subjectivity that gives more credence to evil than good conferred with church or mosque titles.

Reverend, Canon, Venerable, Imam we know, but how would one handle titles which have become the formal style of introduction as Deacon, Senior Assistant Evangelist, Prophet, Apostle, Pastor, Senior Prophetess, Mother-in-Israel or Iya Adinni to mention a few?

This has become the raison d’être of the Nigerian elite, you are nothing if you are not titled, even if the title is conferred by some backwater king who has a wicker stool for a throne and nothing more than loincloth to retain his decency.

Bastardisation of Nigerian honours

A more recent development grates me, after the hairdresser hair-singe of Madam Etteh the erstwhile Speaker of the Nigerian House of Representatives, the new 38-year old Speaker was conferred with the national civic honour of Commander of the Federal Republic.

Members of the House have taken umbrage about the class of honour and remonstrated that as the fourth citizen of the country, she should have received a higher honour because of her status and especially where the Chief Justice of the Federation who is lower in the order of precedence (seventh) has received a higher honour.

I am afraid; this clearly shows that our representatives are clueless about how honours systems work. This is not some conferment that comes by reason of office; it should come by reason of having a track record; a history of service. News of those honoured.

Two Ts short of a citation

Mr Dimeji Bankole, the Speaker, who has not yet been subsumed into the chieftaincy morass of Yoruba culture happens to be the son of a high-chief in Egbaland who goes by the chieftaincy title of Seriki Jagunmolu of Egbaland so, some of those titles might be on the way. I would not be surprised if people are not already needling some backwater king to make him Chief Chatterbox of Backwaterland.

It would go without saying that Mr Bankole’s political base stems from the influence his father exercises and the failed political forays into seeking popular electoral office; it could well be that coming from the same city as the last President (Olusegun Obasanjo) is a coincidence.

I am not convinced that Mr Bankole has the track record or body of work in service of Nigeria to be conferred a national honour at all, we only have to see what the Chief Justice of the Federation brings to the table.

Justice Idris Legbo Kutigi, was called to the bar at The Honourable Society of Lincoln’s Inn on the 20^th of July 1965 and he enrolled at the Nigerian Law School on the 22^nd of July 1966 (I have records of all lawyers registered in Nigeria up until mid-1990 since I worked on publishing a Legal Desk Book for 1991), he became a High Court judge in 1976 and was appointed to the Supreme Court as an Associate Justice in 1992, then became Chief Justice in 2007.

I think this citation would read for minutes and would attract deserving applause without having to consider the fact that he has been elevated to the post of Chief Justice.

The embarrassing thing about Mr Speaker’s national honour would have been the way the citation would have been bloviated with verbosity and filled in to justify the act after just 4 months of becoming the Speaker for a term that should last 4 years, although he has been a representative since 2003 - the key fascinating fact would really be his age, for which many clapped; everything else is par for the course.

Honour should come after service

However, one only has to see examples in the United Kingdom where Tony Blair was Prime Minister for 10 years and quite visibly a world leader for most of that time – he was not conferred with honours during his term and having left office he might not be conferred with honours for another year or so.

This does not mean he does not deserve honouring; at least a knighthood, but the case in Nigeria might well be compared with giving a Nobel Prize in some science to someone we anticipate would come up with a ground-breaking idea because he is a scientist rather than because of the work that has been done that has served humanity.

In the end, if people are honoured long before they should be with honours way beyond what recognition they should get, the whole exercise is cheapened, and it is made it worthless in the face of many other Nigerians who have no political influence but are even worthier and more deserving of accolade and honour.

The honour should not have been conferred at all, at least not at this time; but until we have objective representatives who are not caught up in the tide of emotion, we can expect such idiocy to grab the headlines.

Microsoft: Give me English in the Netherlands

English still matters

I have endured this for quite a while that I have now decided it is enough. I live in the Netherlands but professionally my business language is English.

Now, I know that my grasp of Dutch is not that strong having spent a good few years here but that is beside the point – correspondence that I receive concerning my private life usually arrives in Dutch which I can read and sometimes get a friend to help with the context and interpretation.

However, as many companies have their European or Global Headquarters in the Netherlands, you can have the choice of either English or Dutch as the language of correspondence in mails or emails.

They speak English

The interesting thing is a majority of the local supply companies for energy or services have staff that are multi-lingual. I have perfected my second sentence after my “Hello” greeting.

Ik spreek maar een beetje Nederlands, kan ik met Engles spreken? The quality of my Dutch is bad, can I speak in English?

Most of the time, the people are quite obliging and the business gets done, where they have not been able to raise an English voice, I have sometimes muddle through if I have a request or closed the call especially if it was one of those cold calls.

Technical speak favours English

My crusade is now on a war-path with Microsoft, a company that has a global reach beyond any other that tries to localise its content based on the country of operation and tailors its services accordingly.

However, I have worked for a good few “Dutch” companies that have plumbed for English concerning all their software. Whilst Dutch might help people understand processes, most of the technical terms are in English that technical experts seem to prefer English.

With my Microsoft Hotmail account, I have found it impossible to switch the language of communication from Dutch to English; my emails have ended up in some communication black-hole in that behemoth.

Dutch privately, English professionally

This is considering the fact that I am probably one of the rare fee-paying users of Hotmail and I have been for many years for all sorts of reasons including being able to expect a level of customer support and service.

I have endured that, but after joining the technical forum called Microsoft TechNet, I was not going to keep receiving stuff in correspondence I barely understand, this considering the fact that after the façade of Dutch emails you ended up one websites that were in English.

So, I asked that I receive my correspondence in English and an email ping-pong ensued where first I was told it could not be done because the content was tailored for the Netherlands.

Let us say, if the content was tailored for Dutch-speakers that would be a valid point, but if it is for residents of the Netherlands, whilst Dutch is the predominant local language, it almost shares an equal footing with English in businesses that have an international focus.

It is a request not a complaint

I informed the responder that I would be publishing my concerns in a blog, interestingly; this request which should make business sense to any company doing business in the Netherlands has now been pushed to the complaints department within the behemoth.

Are they now going to send many other people like me who live in the Netherlands on Dutch courses or just translate the stuff and give us options on the Microsoft portal to receive correspondence in either the local language or English?

It makes you wonder how they handle Switzerland which is a country that has the option for 4 languages and where a German-speaker lives in a French-speaking area having only learnt German, Italian and English in school.

Basically, I am not impressed at all.

Who would be Lucky's friend?

Friends unliked by mum

Ever had a mother who judged your friend in the most polite terms by saying the friend is too good for her liking?

I probably have had a few friends that have received that assessment and consequently gotten me into trouble – in those times; if they were too good for mummy’s liking it was probably good for you to give them a wide berth.

Unlucky Lucky

The former Nigerian governor of Edo State “Thief” Lucky Igbinedion is having such an unlucky spell with friends who might have deserted him in a time of required liberty.

Having been arrested and committed to detention for charges of corruption brought by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), his legal team has successfully argued for his bail which has now been granted.

We have a little problem, the conditions of bail require that Lucky have friends in high places ready to serve as surety – it appears no one wants to be tainted by association with his cause.

Almost impossible bail

The terms of bail are quite strict and exacting that anyone who steps up as surety would probably have the piercing eyes of the EFCC peering down their activities.

The court requires bail in the sum of NGN 10 million ($84,400) from the governor and another of NGN 10 million each from federal permanent secretaries who are not due for retirement for at least three years, this comes to over a quarter of a million dollars.

These permanent secretaries must be introduced to the court by the Head of Service of the Federation whilst showing evidence of payment of income tax in the last three years.

They must make themselves available when the court requires their presence.

Not wanting any of this

I would say that is one tall order that hits on people who would be more concerned about their integrity, honour and standing in society, if they had any, or who through self-preservation would prefer to keep under the radar.

I would opine, only a fool would get wrapped up in this saga which could lead to the loss of status, liberty and face or in a setting like Nigeria, lose of privileges of aggrandisement; if the principal decides to abscond or does things that contravene the conditions of bail.

No friend

If anyone were to put their money where their mouth is, they should probably keep out of this mess and let Lucky bang the prison cell table as much as he likes, scold his aide till the aide fills his pants and refuse to eat prison food as part of a fitness regime – the clear message where thieves have decided not to have honour amongst themselves is – He is on his own.

For a man fighting for his freedom but weighed down by charges that question his honesty and integrity in public office, too many would be aware of the other saying – Show me your friend and I can tell who you are.

The bail condition would inadvertently but help to implicitly notice the amount of influence peddling that works and attempts to circumvent due legal process or allows people with influence to break free from the machinations of delivering justice - somehow, the judge has struck one big blow against impunity and moneyed power-brokers.

The question is, who would like to be Lucky’s friend?

Meanwhile, we have a lot on our minds; let the rich scoundrel rot in jail.

Academic theologians creating Islamic disquiet

The Purview and the voice

The Archbishop of Canterbury and Pope Benedict XVI are superb intellectuals and formidable theologians – it would be far from me to suggest with my little learning and experience the ability advice on any matter that decides to offer an additional erudite perspective on their pronouncements.

However, I can recall that when the Pope gave an academic lecture at Regensburg University in September 2006 entitled Faith, Reason and the University: Memories and Reflections; he touched on a topic that should probably entertain the purview of the learned but not the voice of the powerful.

Debate and reason

There, he alluded to the seventh conversation between a Byzantine Emperor and a Persian scholar on the subject of the truth of Christianity and Islam.

Emperor Manuel II Paleologus said “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

This was a conversation recorded in the 14^th Century and I am sure the Persian scholar would have reasoned intelligently and probably answered with views and ideas that validate Islam and Muhammad positively whilst trying to broaden the view of the Emperor to an enlightened perspective of Islam.

Unfortunately, very few would have taken time to put this all in context of the 14^th Century conversation or the academic lecture of the 21^st Century.

Whilst that question or statement should have offered the opportunity for those most concerned to reflect and offer a “gospel” of Mohammedanism that makes that view insignificant, many rose to the gathering of the mob and gave credence to that contention.

Stirring troubled waters

The wisdom of the Pope in giving voice to a latent view of the violence of Islam is still a matter for debate and history; in the end, he was able to placate the offended and make peace with those who mattered.

Lessons should have been learnt from the fact that Christian leaders are better suited to commentary on their areas of specialisation than on their appreciation, understanding or even ignorance of other religions where they hold no offices.

For Sharia Law relevance

Whoever the advisors of the Archbishop of Canterbury are, they surely must be pensioned off because in an academic lecture - Civil and Religious Law in England: a religious perspective - delivered to lawyers in London preceded by an interview (BBC audio) on Radio 4’s World at One the archbishop did touch on viewing aspects of Islamic law in a favourable light but it has created another set of unintended consequences.

It is quite revealing not a squeak has been heard from any of the major Anglican Archbishops in England in support of Dr. Rowan Williams, he might just weather this storm with the voice of support from the Presbyterian Prime Minister .

Considering the furore this has created, this great knight of the Anglican faith might just fall on his sword.

Allowances of the law for conscience

One cannot dispute the fact that certain aspects of conscience or conscientious inclinations by reason of religious belief are given the benefit of exception from legal duress in civil law.

However, the primacy of civil law must remain when a conflict arises that either removes the premise of equality before the law or religious law allows for illegal or unlawful actions.

Sharia law might be used to settle disputes for adherents of that faith but in cases where the female sex does not have equal access, evidence and representation before those courts; it becomes incompatible to existence in broad Western democratic societies as the interviewer stated when chatting to the Archbishop.

The popular Sharia view is scary

Obviously, the concern that has drawn the greatest opprobrium has been the vision of the more dramatic Sharia law judgements that include floggings, amputations and beheadings – these definitely have no place in the Western criminal justice systems, they should for all intents and purposes of a modern civilised world be consigned to history.

Meting out those punishments are considered deterrents that instil fear in the general populace acting as an opiate of contrived civility though they are as cruel and as barbaric as anything dragged out of the darkest ages.

Failed to convey understanding

Dr. Williams whilst understanding these complexities in his interview failed to demonstrate those differences clearly enough for people to appreciate the facts and temper their reactions to the possible visitation of the presumed evils of Sharia on our liberal Western comforts.

As one commentator stated on one of the Daily Telegraph columns; it is amazing that a man whose job it is to be clearly understood failed to convey understanding that he has become so misunderstood and left many seriously displeased.

Like smart person knows well to stick to their own knitting; the leaders of the church should stick to matters that concern the church and stop peering over the wall into mosques with academic lectures that get delivered to select audiences but create an unedifying rumpus amongst the masses.

If he survives, the grace of God with the munificence of Allah does abound towards him, he might find mercy but he would need to do a lot for the forgiveness of men. I, for one can see their points but the wisdom in giving voice to issues that can be so easily hijacked, misinterpreted and manipulated for unintended ulterior ends leaves one rather suspect of their good judgement.

The Lounge

The Couple

As I sat in the lounge waiting for my train, I had made a cup of coffee when this person walked in with baggage and all hung a coat on the stand and sat to have a snack.

The concierge advised that food was not allowed in the lounge, which is a shame because airport lounges at least have free snacks; the ones in Germany have biscuits for the coffees.

Settling down, later on, another person walked in, they knew each other, they hugged and kissed as they shared the events of the day that just closed.

Their eyes radiant, they looked like very successful and busy people, the weekend away was probably time to spend quality time together.

They held hands, caressed each other – somewhere between preening and grooming, these were people into each other so much, any observer would see this was love.

They left hand-in-hand for the train soon afterwards, we all smiled – for those with partners they must have wished they had theirs to have and to hold – to those without, inaudible sighs about a life that could be.

Then to the strains of The Rose by Bette Midler, you realise that it is the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.

I learnt that the expression of love between people is theirs for each other; how they share it is nobody’s business if we concentrated on strengthening our own relationships rather than attacking others in the hope that ours might appear better.

The Archbishop of CounterBury

The Bishop's bad move

The furore over the Archbishop of Canterbury's comments about the inevitability of Sharia Law in the UK is gathering considerable moss and it might just roll over the man who started it off.

Now we have to deal with clarifications and re-interpretations of what the archbishop said so that we do not all get in a tizzy about the balance of conservative adherence to the role of the Church in the State and the development of liberal contemporary ideas from the headship of the church that questions the basis of our faith.

One only has to read the synopsis of the Bishop's Gambit episode of Yes, Prime Minister to realise that the appointment of the Archbishop of Canterbury is probably more a political than a spiritually lead anointing.

The Prime Minister of the day recommends names to the Queen who is the defender of the Faith on the advise of the Church of England and influenced by political and religious leaders.

Between adherents and atheists

It was interesting to note that Sir Humphrey Appleby argued that the government had to keep a balance of bishops in the Church between those who believed in God and those who were agnostic bordering on atheists.

The problem is, unlike the papacy, this position is only available to archbishops in England, and if any ethnic minority of the larger representation of the church in Africa were to assume that position, they would have to lead diocesan archbishoprics in England.

The greater risk is to find a heretic or an apostate leading the Church.

In a time when the Anglican Communion worldwide is undergoing the turmoil of schism regarding the ordination of woman bishops and the acceptance of homosexual clergy, it beggars belief that the Archbishop of Canterbury would suggest that the cradle of Anglican Christianity, flawed as its inception might be would suggest that Sharia law be juxtaposed with civil law in the UK.

This is England NOT Arabia

Indeed, The UK is now accommodating larger numbers of Islamic faith adherents, but they very well recognise that the UK is not an outpost of Arabia, we all have a clear equality before the law in terms of civil law.

One is however not encouraged when even in the Netherlands, a Calvinist/Catholic entity that it once was, not one person in my office challenged the view that Easter was 27 days after Ash Wednesday - maybe, it is indeed time to allow all these alien cultures and traditions to subsume our traditional identities.

The need for conservatism

This encroachment however, should never be encouraged by the leader of the Church, having veered into Pentecostalism; I still hold my High Church Anglican upbringing dear and would rather be at a traditional Christmas service than the raucous cacophony of a happy-clappy bazaar.

Before long, with this man at the helm, would allow the Anglican Book of Common Prayer to be infiltrated with references to Quranic Suras and worse. Gone are the days when the tower served its function, then it was believers in God would were executed, it is time for apostates, just as you have in Sharia Law to be decapitated forthwith.

In other words, maybe, it is time for Dr. Rowan Williams to vacate his office and seek the counsel that returns him to the core tenets of the Faith.

He is acknowledged as a formidable theologian but cannot continue to counter our beliefs and bury the faith, erudite and liberal as his thinking might be.

Nigeria sets no good examples for Africa

That Cliché about African Leadership

What is happening in Africa today bothers me a lot because it all concerns leadership – poor leadership, rotten leadership, leadership acquired by violence and corruption, leadership held onto without offering good governance, idiotic leadership and sprinklings of good leadership.

Very few countries in Africa can boast good leadership, there is hope, but what does surround us now is chaos.

For instance, today, Darfur in Sudan still represents an intractable problem of genocide that is quickly fading from urgent action; the completely botched elections in Kenya has caused so much unrest, violent displacement and killings that it might slip out of the control of the political leaders, Zimbabwe has registered an inflation rate (150,000%) that makes the mind boggle and rebels are trying to unseat a government in Chad.

Africans adrift in Africa

The result of this is Africans are refugees in their own Africa, displaced because of policies implemented by fellow Africans who want power and give no respite to their people – savagery, murder, hunger and displacement becomes the lot of the masses whilst the middle-classes and the rising prosperous classes are completely oblivious or indifferent of those problems in the slums, villages and the hinterland.

However, I only have to go back to my blogs in April 2007 where I lamented the issues around the Nigerian election to see why Africans are unlikely to have African solutions for African problems.

Africans silent to African suffering

The issue in Darfur never became a crisis until others outside the continent decided they could not stand for such large-scale suffering, Africans are still dragging their feet on the matter.

The elections in Kenya were most definitely flawed as the head of the electoral commission eventually said he was not sure of who won. African leaders then welcomed the imposed president who “stole” the elections whilst he left his country behind burning.

The entrenched eternal incumbency of Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe should have come to an end with the people of the country being able to choose who would lead their country out of the morass it is in, but for the appeasement of African leaders that continues to make a bad situation worse.

It would take the threat and actions of the French army in Chad to keep a democratic dictator, Idriss Deby who has done nothing for his country in all his years in power that others who think they can do the job better have to resort to arms to unseat him.

Where is the country?

The question is, where is the African country with the authority, clout, gravitas and respect that can speak up for the downtrodden masses and exert the kind of influence to ensure things are done right in the “Dark” continent, such we can all be seen in the light as enlightened, emancipated and in control, able to solve our problems with confidence?

Step forward – Nigeria? The Giant of Africa in size offers none of this ability, its institutions are still mired in corruption, its elections are flawed that it cannot condemn the ones in Kenya, its leadership skirts illegitimacy so it can say nothing to Sudan, Zimbabwe or Chad.

In all that has been happening in the last few weeks, we have heard not one squeak from the Heart of Africa because it has a bad heart.

The insignificance of the giant

We have the biggest sporting event going on in Africa and the grand populace of 130 million could not produce a team that could survive the first stage of eliminations.

This is result of our polity not realising the example we should be setting for Africa so that things can be done right and if done wrongly, we can be a model for correction.

Unfortunately, South Africa cannot step into the breach because they have not been able to raise the expectations of their people beyond subsistence; they would end up with a leader very much in the mould of the many that gives Africa a very bad name.

Africa can only begin to solve its own problems when we deal with each other honestly, truthfully, fairly, justly and with mutual respect based on leadership and governance that eschews corruption and nepotism, that embraces transparency and begins to tackle with vigour the problems that affect Africa and Africans.

There is hope for Africa, but in the meantime, it would require a lot more international intervention and scrutiny to ensure what we are doing is well beyond reproach and within globally acceptable standards before we are respectfully left to maturely seek African solutions to African problems.

PS: This was written to highlight the frustration of a fellow Nigerian about his country not being able to address African issues with boldness because we have set bad examples and lost the moral authority that could be projected with our greatness in Africa.