The beauty of the dead cow

Sick-bagging fast food

I could only hold my head in my hands this morning as I listened to the Anderson Copper 360° programme on CNN.

Many of my friends note my utter disdain expressed with vehemence when the idea of ordering fast-food come up.

Ever since over 13 years ago I observed the odd-one out round on the BBC’s Have I Got News For You where three of the most dastardly sick-making and gut-wrenching things like a nematode worm, raw sewage and back legs of a mouse were allegedly found in fast food – I have been completely and utterly off that stuff.

Some episodes on television mark you – big time.

Besides that, I can cook, I like to cook and I do try as often as possible to cook for myself and also for friends.

In some cases, I have to tone down the spices for my European guests whose palate might be complete singed with hot pepper tastes that our African ladies might as well use as eye salve – Just kidding!

Tomato mummies

When I returned to Europe years ago, the first thing that struck me when I got a can of chopped tomatoes was the Best Before date which was about 3 years hence. I lost count of the E-numbers as it looked like the manufacturers were in cahoots with the mummifiers of Ancient Egypt.

Fine, everyone looked like they were going about their business kept and preserved as lively mummies, more excitable than zombies but less so natural.

So, imagine my amazement when I found that they had been tampering with the colour of egg yolks by giving chickens a particular kind of feed containing Lutien.

The farm in your local grocery

Somehow, customers prefer yellow skinned chicken to white skinned chicken – that is the problem; many of these customers probably think you pluck eggs from garden plants.

Aesthetic quality trumps natural quality every time as convenience, availability and cost no matter how unscrupulously provided, lure and entice customers who are so removed from nature that nothing is really what it seems anymore.

This is not a time to explore the amount of colour that goes into food stuff nowadays.

Beauty of the dead cow

However, back to my inspiration for this piece, red meat is just not what it seems anymore; the meat is treated with carbon monoxide to keep the redness that usually disappears in 5 days maximum for up to 40 days.

Basically, we lose one of the common indicators for observing if packaged meat is available or off.

Colour, smell, sliminess, taste and sell-by date as the commentary goes are the options you have to check the quality for edible consumption of beef.

The colouring also masks the workings of pathogenic bacteria - but that would be hidden in some study that gets reveals when the lawyers are ready for court.

As usual when the food agencies collude in this “Customer Irrelevant”-“Industry Fillip” activity, they offer us a lesson in semantics.

Carbon monoxide is considered a colour fixative not a colour additive – take me for an idiot and I’ll be a fool for anyone.

As for the harmfulness of carbon monoxide, which binds too easily with haemoglobin in the blood than oxygen can get access to keep you alive, especially if you work in a mine or have un-serviced gas heating – they say – we have nothing to fear.

Once again we move from the curse of the mad cow to the beauty of the dead cow – history is about to repeat itself – do not say, you’ve heard this before.

Batter yourself not your wife

Seeking kindred spirits

Having left Nigeria just over 15 years ago and now effectively spent more than half my life in total in Europe. I find that quite a few elements of my Nigerian heritage are coming to the fore.

Generally, I am not a person given to ethnic community gatherings or associations of common identity, but I find that I have been drawn to the Internet equivalents of these groupings.

Whilst I try to catch up on Nigerian events in the news, blogging is quite an interesting phenomenon because it takes primary opinion out of the hands of paid professionals and puts in arena of general public debate.

Debate however can be interesting as intelligence, common sense, knowledge, wisdom and commendable discourse sometimes contends violently with prejudice, ignorance, intolerance, bigotry and plain stupidity.

The Nigerian Blogs Aggregator does this job beautifully as Nigerians and lovers of Nigeria – home and abroad – congregate to dispense with their perspectives of ideas, events and people.

Vagina Monologues in Nigeria

One topic that got me surfing through links to other blogs and varied comments to an authoritative source was pertaining to the arrival of the Vagina Monologues in Nigeria.

This is a post-feminist analysis of issues developed on the experiences of over 200 women globally related to their sexuality and status in society as they deal with violence, rape, genital mutilation and other customs that border on savagery.

Some countries like Uganda, Malaysia and China have banned the performance of Vagina Monologues because it addresses difficult topics most especially that recurrent masculine pastime of wife battering.

Observation has given me opportunity to write about this for the first time, however, I give credence to those who have tackled this issue in the interview granted by the organizer of the event Hafsat Abiola-Costello and theNaijablog entry that develops the context further.

Personally, it is a raw subject since at one stage, one had to be involved in trying to placate a difficult and complex situation.

Where is the love?

Marriage continues to be a mystery to me, you really never can understand the machinations and intricacies of love and affection between two people who meet and decide to spend their lives together.

It is usually just between those two and what we observe as family and friends is the bond of love, concern and devotion which results in the celebration of marriage.

The world we live in today indicates that this power and quality of love is no more the exclusive preserve of heterosexual relationships, it is chemistry between the hearts of two human beings regardless of sex and pairing permutations.

For the many, the pairing beyond man and woman is a mountain to climb, but the facts are each person to their own chooses what represents the joy in their lives.

What baffles me is how that engine of love falters in the privacy of the environment of that couple leading to domestic violence and probably more.

Marriage should not be an end; it has to be nurtured through expressions of love and affection, sometimes frank talk and disagreement but with mutual respect for what incidentally was supposed to be “till death do us part”.

Total submission

So, an uncle wrote to me to address an issue with a protégé who had to be brought back on to the path of honour, dignity and total submission to her husband.

No, I was not angry, maybe, I was not incensed, but indeed, I was livid with rage, however, I had to temper my eventual response with reason and purpose in the context of the patriarchal setting of Nigerian society.

The matter could not have been more disturbing when it became apparent that the wife battering scoundrel was also a medical doctor. The things we condone in Nigeria.

My father had said years ago that I have always thought like a Westerner, indicating that I sometimes presented a range of views that normally never gets expressed for purposes of deference.

For instance, in Yoruba culture, you cannot accuse an elder of lying directly, rather, one has to be smart about the way the facts are presented for others to deduce and deal with it in closed company.

Basically, the structure of society is built on completely preventing the older generation from losing face or admitting their mistakes to anyone but their peers or an older generation.

The language is pervaded with proverbs which masquerade as frank talk to devastating effect.

I could afford myself the luxury of that political double-speak or basically not mince my words using the privilege of my Western heritage to good advantage.

The path to honour

In general, it appears that many husbands think that their only role in a marriage is provision; that could have been true in times past, there is now a lot more to the role of a husband than that.

I cannot count the number of times my parents quoted the Bible on the issue of my honouring my parents having left out their own responsibilities in achieving that symbiotic relationship. [1]

When the scripture talks of this, it offers the promise of long life to the child – first responsibility, the parent who does not want to bury their child would probably get involved in the process of ensuring the conditions conducive to having the child honour them.

I know, not all issues of the death of child are encompassed in this situation, but it is a sound warning to both child and parent. Further study indicates that the parent school the child in the ways of God and also not provoke the child unto wrath.

There is a fundamental and initial part of care and duty on the part of the parents that sows the seeds for the honouring they would eventually receive off their children.

The path to submission

The previous illustration shows how we select the choice cuts from Scripture to plant our views in domination of other parties.

It is interesting that Ephesians 5 in the Bible helps illustrate the subject of submission all too clearly by comparing the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church with the relationship between the husband and his wife. [2]

Beyond the fact of the headship of Christ and the husband the issue of the service and servant-hood of Christ looms large.

Whilst, this looks like a religious exercise, it is the context of the relationship that I want to extract for inference.

Christ gave his life in sacrifice for His Church, He teaches, nurtures, encourages, listens, admonishes, enthuses and builds His Church as His body, the full expression of Himself to the world.

Now, if a battered wife is a husband’s idea of sacrifice and the full expression of himself to this wife, the family, and his friends and to the world, we are the poorer for it.

Seen in that context, it appears that the selfless sacrifice and devotion of a man to his woman is the conducive environment for “required” submission.

Submission is then borne out of the respect, admiration and the husband’s humility in relating to his wife rather than the husband’s disrespect and humiliation of his wife. [3] It is a tall order.

Institutions and traditions

The framework of our society allows for marital conflict to be resolved within the extended family network of people we trust and respect. In the West, one might even seek professional advice through marriage counselling.

In some cases, these networks have failed such that the issue is best addressed by temporary or permanent separation; this gets complicated by the presence of offspring – I would not delve into that here.

The concern here is with the traditions which believe that the woman should pay the ultimate price for dishonouring the family.

Thankfully, governments are taking a more strident view of these activities; there is no justification whatsoever for murder, regardless of the event that so infuriates the family and their status in society. [4]

Whilst, I had no easy solution to help resolve my protégé’s circumstances, I had this much to say.

If nobody had a way of resolving this precipitous disagreement, the woman would best to separate from her husband, but I would not sacrifice my protégé on the institution of marriage.

Marriage was made for us, not humans for marriage. If I had to choose between tradition and the people, I would choose the people.

Vagina Monologues would have a good few people shifting in their seats; hopefully, it would get aired before the Nigerian Moral Police stymie issues that really need to be thrashed with the utmost ferocity.

A welcome development indeed.

References

[1] Honour your father and your mother

[2] What are the roles of a husband and wife in a family?

[3] A husband is to love his wife

[4] Honor killing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Less than 0.05% but still measurable

Slowly nabbing the scoundrels

Probably just 20 out of 100,000 UK troops who have been through the Iraqi cauldron are responsible for the kinds of acts we saw in those despicable video broadcasts and papers over the last few weeks.

So far, only three soldiers have been arrested out of the probably eight or so that had their kicks at those teenagers; the cameraman being the first of the lot.

Well, far be it from me to be “quick to condemn and slow to praise”, but if any structure were present in the expression of remorse for losing the high moral ground – a lot more should have been rounded up quicker and perceptions should be changing on the ground.

The problem is not just the participants; the other soldiers who walked by when that fracas developed with live commentary coming from the roof are intrinsically culpable for acquiescing to what is not the culture of our respected defenders of the realm.

Equal airing, good or bad

If there is a medal for gallantry it should immediately go to the man who gave us the opportunity to feel sick to the stomach at watching a “director’s cut” of what people get up to in our name.

If we want all our good deeds to be shouted from the mountain tops and ramparts, then we should concentrate on just doing good deeds.

I do not subscribe to the censorship of material that portrays us in bad light if we have indeed been bad boys and someone has taken time to record those events for posterity, entertainment or eventual redress.

Tough does not excuse rough

Iraq is a tough place; people are losing their lives faster than the Taliban could have replenished their “Coliseum” with human fodder – it still does no present the excuse to exhibit inhumane and barbaric activity on the people we went to liberate.

Supposedly, the base instinct of man; be they trained as our soldiers or schooled in the depravity of hopelessness is to enjoy the pleasure of pack activity like wolves gnaw at a carcass.

We do not have the luxury to be protector and oppressor at the same time just because we were victorious.

If the training of our armed forces does not include the ability to quickly if not instinctively gauge the consequences of their actions; then a good few should be on a 101 course on Military Conduct and then the Art of War back-to-back many times over.

Not good is bad

I sympathise with the Minister for Defence, but I remember reading somewhere – a little leaven (yeast) leavens the whole lump – Oh! That was prefixed with “your boasting is not good” – even if it was 0.0005% what is not good is bad, whichever way you look at it.

References

BBC NEWS | UK | Two more held over 'abuse' video

Reid to defend troops in Iraq | the Daily Mail

BBC NEWS | World | Middle East | Video fallout hits UK Iraq troops

Vera Drake fetes Dr Mengele in Rotterdam

Seeds of inspiration

Sometimes the most useful inspiration comes from the most unusual places. Our ministers probably gain inspiration from the outposts and outback of the country where certain practices might make Victorians look soft on discipline and moral rectitude.

One must indeed say that our politicians always always have our welfare and wellbeing at heart as they seed our thoughts with innocuous ideas which creepily make it into the mainstream.

At first hearing, it all seems like the reasonable common sense application of societal norms to make us all live at peace with each other.

Even so, when such ideas come from the person in charge of security or for translational context – public welfare – it has to be commendable.

Purity is of the essence

At first hearing, the ideas of Eugenics might sound so noble and pure that one would just subscribe to it. The question then becomes what and who determines purity and how that is scored.

It is unlikely, that we would democratically select those to sit at the head of the Eugenic food chain who can then dispense judgment from on high about what is worthy and what is worthless and should be expunged.

Rather, these self-appointed protectors of societal purity would move from consensus to tyranny as the initial appeal of the idea becomes a sinister human extermination agenda that can no more be sustained by reason.

Now, there is no doubt that certain members of society may not know their responsibilities in civility, virtues and parenthood; we have laws to deal with crime, hospitals to deal with illnesses, social welfare to deal with deprivation and abuse – these things help define the advanced civilisation of society, most especially in Western communities.

The state ensures within its resources that all these services are available equally at the point of need so that our comfortable normality does not descend into chaos.

So, it is with interest that I have read this translated piece of inspired logic that has come from one veritable source of social engineering genius – Leefbaar Rotterdam (Liveable Rotterdam).

Target! Aim! Abort!

“I want appoint three specific target groups of whom I find that obliged pregnancy discontinuance (in accordance with the legal failure period) and forced contraceptive from taboo environment must be obtained. This concerns children of addictive parents, (Antillean) teenager mothers and rationally disableds.” Translated from Dutch - electronically.

Basically, the proponent is suggesting forced abortions and compulsory contraception on a number of “undesirables” who make the society we live in dysfunctional.

The primary concern as the story develops is the prevention of child abuse promoted by the “No Kidding” campaign in the Netherlands.

Somehow, the proponent has data that suggests that these “appointed”, “specific”, “target” groups are more prone to systemic child abuse.

Indeed children should be protected from parental abuse and what way to prevent child abuse than to nip it in the embryonic stage. A child unborn is a child not abused. I fear for my mind on this matter.

Unfairness in choices

So, addictive parents who are hooked on drugs probably need more help to get them off drugs and the necessary mentoring to see the value of children and the joy of parenthood.

As for the rationally disabled; which in context could mean those who are seriously impaired in functional abilities; they might still be able to rear children within a support network that includes adaptation and rehabilitation for the onerous duties of parenthood. The same job is just as difficult for the fully able parent.

Teenage mothers of Netherlands Antilles origin (a different species?); supposedly are different from those of indigene Dutch descent – well, it just shows how equity in selection and assessment does not sit well with eugenics.

Perish the thought that this has anything to do with an extreme right agenda that flirts with xenophobia.

Some commentators have resurrected the spectre of a modern-day Dr Mengele, I would not deign to offer that flattering comparison.

Helping the unborn child?

Vera Drake in the 1950s helped women in difficulty by performing illegal abortions; the stigma of illegitimate children was unbearable in those times.

Our contemporary Vera Drake in Rotterdam would be helping the unborn child by forcefully aborting it before it draws its first breath.

Thankfully, she has not yet suggested sterilisation – Ah! That is for humans, I meant neutering, for undesirables.

There are no easy answers to the societal problems that allow for these target groups to exist, the welfare of parent and unborn child should have serious determination and careful consideration if this is to become common practice.

As this seed-thought just appeared in a blog where flippant comment might just take like wildfire; it would not be long till one of the ministers of the realm flies the kite to gauge popular opinion.

I do wonder why the chief proponent of Eugenics – Sir Francis Galton never had children – sometimes your ideas might just reveal what you should not be doing lest it turns out wrong.

I rest.

References

Source link which invited commentary – Thanks!

AbsoluteNow.com: Vera Drake long synopsis:

Abortion does not solve social problems – Evaluating the ethics of abortion

Babelfish translation at altavista.com

Judicial Backwaters - Guantanamo Countdown

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

The poor cannot be innocent

A saying once ascribed to a prominent law professor and defence lawyer in America suggested “everyone is innocent until declared broke”.

This opens the subject of the backwater of American justice where the privileged and the rich can get away with anything if they have the representation and resources that can bamboozle the judges, the jury and the legal system.

Too many examples exist as to how rich and famous Americans have walked free from murder, child abuse and fraud charges with just a dent to their egos.

If one were to commiserate, it would be for those who have no means of getting real justice in the land of liberty and freedom because the equality of man in America is only there when you are equal to the system by being able to pay your way out of the clutches of the law.

The equality of certain death

In fact, I would go on to say the only equality of opportunity in America of today is the equality of the certainty of death. Some might delay it by being of means, those who have not, arrive there quicker. It is a sad fact of life as exemplified by the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

One profession that brings home the bacon every time is that of the high-profile lawyer as they argue and settle marital, criminal or civil matters. In a quest to help healthcare organisation that crumble under the strain of class-action suits, Mr Bush has clipped the wings of Tort cases which really make lawyers so rich at the expense of the claimants.

Abyss of injustice

Spare a thought for the aberration, anomaly or abomination that is Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. It is amazing that this place has been leased in perpetuity from Cuba which has suffered decades of sanctions and bad blood with America. Sometimes international treaties and diplomacy make no sense but there we are with an aberration.

It is an anomaly because people are in detention created by the US government but outside the jurisdiction of American courts and justice; because we have allowed the bastion of human freedom and democracy to assign untrammelled powers to their president to protect the American people.

Protecting the American People however includes the ability to take America from the safety of the high moral ground to the moral valley illustrated by the despicable state of affairs that feeds our disgust from the pictures and videos of Abu Ghraib Prison.

The abomination of justice is where those who do not have a strong ally or country to defend them and demand their rights are kept as enemy combatants outside the reach of even the Geneva Convention.

No voice for the voiceless

It pains me that whilst Britain has successfully extracted their citizens from Guantanamo Bay, they have not spoken up for those who are kept outside justice, outside review, outside care, outside concern and outside reach of their people in that utterly forsaken place.

It is a luxury of American royalty that men who are going to live full and fulfilled lives having extricated themselves from the travesty of war and the defence of the realm and now hold the power to send others to their untimely deaths as martyrs to a cause that is defeating reason and purpose as days go by.

If any of them had attended one funeral of any of all those killed in the cauldron of terror call Iraq, I might even find one word of praise for them.

As well run as Abu Ghraib?

However, Mr Rumsfeld says Guantanamo Bay is a well run detention centre, I am wont to believe him, but can I really do that?

The detention centres in Iraq produced those stomach churning pictures and the British soldiers meting out “justice” to the teenagers, as the cameraman in seemingly sexual ecstasy urges them on – are situations open to public and press scrutiny.

One commentary contends that Guantanamo Bay served as the incubator for those activities.

We cannot have one standard for our convenience and exculpation then have another for those who are not like us.

Here lies the unjust

The unknown unknown of Guantanamo Bay requires that the people there know if they would get justice somewhere on earth, and if America cannot give it to them, then it is really time to close Guantanamo Bay and let the wild bunch lose.

Mr Rumsfeld is a smart man; he is probably a fair man too, but nay a just man.

We should call to notice that all in leadership who have the power to send men to war should ensure that their epitaphs include the phrase “he/she was a just man/woman”; God have mercy on your souls, if fortune obliterates that legacy.

"The defendant wants to hide the truth because he's generally guilty. The defense attorney's job is to make sure the jury does not arrive at that truth." Alan Dershowitz

Handbags at dawn

Political theatre

Our politicians in the Netherlands always seem to do something to amuse us that I find that I do not miss going to the cinema or the theatre.

I cannot remember when last I heard anything from the Minister-President who is supposedly the head of government but hardly a powerful figure.

The headlines and the moral gutter seems to be dominated by other politicians as my chauvinism allows for it all to be referred to as the washing of dirty lingerie.

The government council in Rotterdam seems to be the breeding ground for the politics of separation masquerading as a push for greater integration.

Agreed, the events on Rotterdam were birthed from the activities of certain Muslim leaders who questioned our national values as Dutch and challenged our history of tolerance by calling homosexuals pigs amongst other unmentionable tripe.

The birth of the Fortuyn phenomena

This gave rise to a movement championed by Pim Fortuyn who eventually became the leader of the Liveable Netherlands (Leefbaar Nederland - LN). Some of his utterances lead to his being expelled from LN.

This lead to his creating a party list in his name and all the other circumstances that lead to his being murdered just 9 days before the elections that his party excelled in.

Beyond that nutshell of history, a scion of the LN context dominates the council in Rotterdam as Leefbaar Rotterdam (Liveable Rotterdam).

Rotterdam happens to be the source of the citizens’ code which included the use of Dutch as a common language – this was digested by our Minister of Immigration and Integration (Ms Verdonk) and regurgitated as requiring that Dutch be spoken in public places.

Alas! That kite got caught in low-lying tram cables, the opprobrium it raised had her backtracking faster than a bullet leaves the muzzle of a gun.

Another immigrant saga

More recently, since it is immigration and integration that takes up all political capital; an immigrant girl who was just about to start her final examinations was seized by the immigration police, her family given a sum of money and they were thrown out to their land of origin – Kosovo.

The girl by sleight regained access to the Netherlands and returned to her school to take exams and finish her course. Immediately, she was apprehended again, called a fraud in a situation that might have the minister censored for abuse of process.

It so happens that this girl mastered the Dutch language (model immigrant), excels in her class (model student) [5] but is from Kosovo (model immigrant) and political victim.

Handbags at the cabinet

So, the Education Minister wades into the matter in her blogs indicating that allowing the young girl to complete her education before deportation is a common-sense approach to a bungled activity with the proviso that it was not her call.

I detest somersaulting ministers is the retort that comes from Ms Verdonk who agreed with the point that the issue is not the call of the Education Minister but questioned the logic of her commentary. [2]

Surely, it is not difficult to see the logic, however, just like Pim Fortuyn threatened to slam his handbag on the table; the next cabinet meeting might just draw blood as Gucci bags hit Louis Vuitton bags with the Minister-President ducking and diving.

Even in an elevated state of good conduct, I could easily give up on a show at the Royal Ballet Company to watch these matrons have it out at each other.

Maybe I am just human.

References

[1] Expatica's Dutch news in English: Verdonk's folly

[2] Expatica's Dutch news in English: Ministers in war of words over Taida

[3] Liberal Netherlands grows less so on immigration | csmonitor.com

[4] Dhimmi Watch: Holland: right-wing protest banned

[5] An example of why the Netherlands suck - The Net is Dead

Beware of dog - recruiter alert

What to do…

I am beginning to wonder if my temperament and demeanour is suited to certain interviewers, interview techniques or job prospects.

My CV is generally supposed to present me as an expert in a field of expertise where the simplicity of installation obfuscates the complexity of implementing useful solutions.

For instance, in my last project, the “Customer Solutions Architect” had spent the best part of 7 months installing a Microsoft Systems Management Server 2003 environment which worked but was completely unmanageable.

Any administrator would have cried in frustration with simple day-to-day activities. A person with my experience and expertise would consider all stake-holders affected by any solution offered.

This comprises of the business, their requirements, the users, the administrators and any prevailing political and organisational influence that impacts the effectiveness of the solution.

My pitch sits squarely in realising solutions for the enterprise with due consideration of all resources provided and expected benefits. It means that one has to be authoritative, candid, truthful, realistic, resourceful and always honest.

Illiterate pimps

Starting with the interviewers, these are sometimes recruitment consultants in recruitment firms who usually have one thing in mind; the mark-up they can earn off your contract fee.

In some cases, there has been close to a 50% mark-up; it hasn’t really bothered me, because what is not negotiable is my fee at the first time of asking.

That is beside the point; it is when they have not taken time to read my CV that irks me the most. I used to be a director of a company called NextStep Limited in Nigeria then I got a call asking if I could offer programming expertise in NeXTSTEP software.

Then after 12 years of IT experience (I now have 18) of which 7 then were at a senior technical specialist level, sometimes in management, I get a call asking if I am interested in a trainee position. I have no problem with being a trainee if I am working on the launch controls at NASA.

However, apart from recruitment consultants, there are professional recruiters employed by organisations to sift prospective employees with bizarre questions and mind games.

Bouncers in the bank

The biggest bank in the Netherlands was recently on a recruitment drive which they co-sourced to an agency that was to weed out ineligible candidates along with agreeing certain terms of remuneration.

Having passed that hurdle, I met up with this male and female team of recruiters whose first onslaught was to refuse to interview till I had agreed to take a salary 15% below what had been agreed with the agency.

Evidently, this was on the paper sent to them by the agency well over a week before, and it could have been discussed with the agency who would have sought my consent or advice about going further or not.

In the circumstances, they blamed their lack of preparation on the agency where they should have paid more attention to the detail of the client to be interviewed.

Then the interview starts with “Give us an example of relationship building” – you must be kidding me.

Now, if I had only been working in IT 2 years, I would probably still be learning about how to get things done.

After 18 years, with the roles I have held and the beneficial things I have done in the organisations I have worked for … if my whole career has not been about building, maintaining and nurturing relationships, my career must have been a farce.

OK, maybe I am being a bit melodramatic, but after the salary haggling that would not have been worthy of a sub-continental marketplace or bazaar, I do not think I was in the mood for unimaginative recruiters.

They were like bouncers, you either have an invitation and we let you in, or you are going nowhere regardless of your relationship with the host.

They interview to an organisational mindset if there is one, or are just probably incompetent and answerable to no one especially when they can cover up their lapses.

At the poker table without chips

One other reason why I probably was not considered could be the fact that I decided to carry on the interview on the prospect of a better position, which they did not have to offer.

Interviewing with people who have no latitude on the one hand and then cannot recognise the skill you offer could as well be a dead-end.

So then, to another interview that is for the role of a specialist and I get the question “How do you set up a user?” – That is definitely taking the biscuit. Having worked in global enterprises, some sites have had well over 40,000 users along with their computers under my management.

They probably have not read my CV and if they had, maybe those questions are just to tug at my intellectual arrogance and the brooding “expertise complex” that beclouds the ability to deal with fundamental issues.

The truth be told

Aspects of a CV can sometimes look like they are too good to be true, then, ask for references; there is not reason to purvey falsehoods, the IT world is too small to get away with lies and sloppy work, you soon get found out.

Though it is gratifying when 10 years ago, was I walked into an interview they placed my in a room and I had to do a technical test. I then was hired within hours of that interview – I learnt that people doubted my abilities and I was baited with the test in which I attained the best ever score.

Beyond a good professional relationship with my manager which lasted 4 years including his taking over to another posting he had, we are still very good friends. Do I have to cry from the hilltops that I really am what my CV says I am? I am beyond exasperated.

At least, 80% of the work I have done in the last 10 years has been through networks formed off working with colleagues, managers or agencies – every now and then, I get a call asking about my availability for a project they have at hand.

I can fix that

All is not lost, I realise that I interview best when I am hired to fix something. At least the last few projects have involved my going in sort things out, mentor people and implement working solutions.

When people have questions, problems or appalling catastrophes requiring first a confident understanding of the issues and a good idea of how to chart from the rotten and bad through the acceptable towards the ideal coupled with availability in terms of both my expertise and time, I always get the job.

Probably, my wealth of expertise is also becoming a burden, I thrive in teams where I have something offer, something to share and something to learn. However, the mentoring aspect is gaining more significance when I embark on projects.

Projects are however, short-term, longer term contracts probably require that one be ensconced in management. This calls for a radical career re-alignment assessment; am I ready for that? 

Muzzle the dogs

Recently, it appears, I am not doing well with jobs that are mundane, routine and easy-going or barely anticipate problems, not because I am not qualified, but because I first have to outrun the dogs to get to the main door.

Sometimes the dogs make so much of a raucous the man of the house is forced to come out to calm the commotion and see who is trying to get in. Alternatively, I might just get Pedigree Chum laced with sedative, feed it to the dogs and walk right up to the door.

This is where; Mighty Mix and the dog food offer might be better appreciated than it has been in Kenya.

Once that happens, well, it is another notch to my CV.