Essential Snobbery 101: Sensible shoes for suffering soles

The shoo of the shoes

In one of those chance conversations, you have with friends, I was informed anecdotally that South Africans look at 3 things in an appearance to rate who you are in class, means, and facility. Your shoes, your watch, and your belt. I would suppose this applies primarily to men, and probably women are assessed on different criteria.

In that same conversation, I learnt that someone had gone to attend an interview and on the basis of the shoes and belt worn by the interviewer, the interviewee decided their interviewer was not of the means or mettle to employ them, and so declined the job offer.

Forced into acculturation

Obviously, one might suggest or opine that those appearances can be deceptive, that to judge ability or character by apparel or appearance is not only superficial but silly. Then again, we are products of influences, cultures, communities, and societies in which we live, and by that, might be unconsciously biased by irrational value systems that define status, when they should never be in consideration.

However, by reason of this somewhat unwritten rule, people adapt and try to play the part not so much to deceive, but to elevate the assessment from apparel or appearance to something more nuanced and probably indicative of the person and personality being engaged.

Then there are times when the application of this rule might be deleterious to the objective of being acceptable, where apparent ostentation and gaudiness might exude means but not class, for the quality of being presentable and yet understated is one that demands a finer educational process that comes with being quite comfortable in your own skin.

Good presentation is rarely exorbitant

In terms, you can wear sensible shoes that are clean and polished without them calling out like neon lights, and if you are not on a catwalk, your shoes are probably not the first thing you want to be noticed for. Likewise, the watch, for what is the point of wearing an expensive timepiece if you cannot keep the time? Whilst I am not suggesting one should plumb for the cheap, there is nothing wrong with adorning yourself with the affordable.

Then on the topic of sensible shoes, and I probably know a bit about that because my feet grew 6 sizes from the age of 7 to 15 and getting the right size of shoes after that was one of a bother, for size 12 (UK)/46 (EU) is not in the typically available or fashionable percentile.

There were times my poor feet were shoehorned in too-tight footwear; I learnt to wince in silence until I could throw off the shoes and walk barefoot. I have better options now, and I avail myself of them in good formal shoes and well-cushioned trainers that allow me to walk long distances without the aid of my walking cane.

Looking good for worse

One sight I cannot put out of my mind was one I saw last weekend, this lady stepped out of the hotel with her husband and a crutch in her right arm, a crutch, not a cane, and she was in high-heeled shoes. I could not fathom the spectacle of someone who needed a crutch and then was traipsing our uneven pavement in those kinds of shoes. I had a cartoon playback in my mind of someone falling so badly that the crutch would be replaced with either a wheelchair or a Zimmer frame.

She might have looked presentable at first sight, and yet it was meretricious; we, for the sake of fashion, sacrifice health and well-being. On the spectrum of opinion, the rating was indelibly low; you live and let live. The case for suffering soles in sensible shoes is made, but not many would heed the sensible part.

Thought Picnic: Knowing where you are from where you imagine you are

Cool this thing down

I remember attending an interview decades ago for a role that honestly paid peanuts with the European Space Agency, it was nothing as promising as if I were invited to work or even do an internship at NASA, the two men in weather-worn suits probably blasted too many times by solar flares and moon dust posed questions to which I responded earnestly and knowledgeably, but I somehow did not impress them.

When the agency got back to me, the report was, I was too laid back, I think I saw that more as a compliment than a criticism, my thinking was, if I was involved in putting a rocket under someone to send them out to space, we need cool heads, not hotheads. In fact, I take pride in being professionally laid back and that does not mean being lazy.

Easy on the busy

I just do not like to be carried away by the clamour and the tumult that surrounds issues, problems, or emergencies at work. We need to be able to stand back to see what is going on, gather our thoughts and methodically approach the issue. After applying ourselves for a full day at work, I would rather we return early the next day after a good break with fresh heads and ideas, beavering away overnight is the stuff of diminishing returns. Lots of activity and no achievement.

It is probably a temperament thing, usually observed at work, but applicable to other areas of my life, I can anticipate, but I do not fret; I could be concerned, but refrain from worrying; when it seems, a situation is getting too much, I would go to bed instead and sleep it over. The things I can control I apply myself to, and the things I at the time am clueless about, I can accept as my contemporaneous incapacity or infirmity, if things change for the better, that is fine, otherwise, we move on.

You are where you are

I guess the way I view things is only to cross the bridge when I am at the bridge, if I am still on the journey to the bridge, there might be circumstances where, in encounter or in realisation, the bridge is just one option out of many to choose from, in which case, it might be easier to ford, to swim, or to ferry, you might even avoid having to cross any obstacle to your destination. You have to know where you are from where you imagine or fear you are.

We are given the moment with all the vicissitudes of life and uncertainty to already deal with, success and progress with that particular moment can determine how well the rest of your journey goes. Like in the game of chess, much as you can think 10 moves ahead, you cannot play the 10 moves in a go.

Be ready and able to change tack

You have to play your move and your opponent play theirs, their move might not have been accounted for in your analysis and then you have to recalibrate the whole strategy you have towards winning the game in which you might well get beaten, no matter how good your imagined 10 moves ahead were.

This applies to many things in life, for the preparation, anticipation, and orderliness in the things we have planned, we need to make allowances for sudden or progressive alterations that could be quite impactful and outside our control. This is not to say we are then helpless against fate, not by the kind of intellect, initiative, and intuitiveness that we have been gifted, we are adaptable, applying ourselves with a good understanding of when a scalpel, a blade, a knife, or a sword is needed.

That is a skill that comes from learning, experience, expertise, mentoring, or just sheer luck, it does not matter, we keep living because we are living and, in the process, write a better story of how we have lived. Selah!

Coronavirus streets in Manchester - LXIV

It is still out there

What we cannot ignore in these somewhat perilous times is that the pandemic is quite present with us. Whilst indeed there are mitigations for dealing with the Coronavirus, in that many have been vaccinated and boosted, the vaccine is not prophylactic per se, it simply helps against debilitating symptoms and severe illness.

That knowledge alone should have us all know that we still need to maintain some precautions with regard to the possibility of infection. The wearing of face coverings and masks is still important as is avoiding enclosed or poorly ventilated places, especially in crowds, then the washing and sanitising of hands.

Be careful of the carefree

The fact that there is no legal requirement to self-isolate again as it is a mere advisory means that we might quite likely encounter people who have the Coronavirus, who are aware that they are infectious, but for whatever reasons, they have not self-isolated. They are out amongst us, careless or carefree, and troublingly so.

There is also no telling where one might go and perchance pick up the infection, we just have to be wary. In my case, I had a neighbourly chat a few days ago and then the day before yesterday, I was informed that they were COVID-19 positive. I was quite concerned for them, wishing them a speedy recovery.

Waiting for half an hour

However, I was informed that our proximity might have made me vulnerable to infection meaning I needed to perform a self-test to be sure that I was not infected and a vector of infection. I got out my Rapid Antigen Test kit and performed the swab into the reagent and 3 drops on the lateral flow device. The Control line showed up and the sample was being processed by the device and 30 minutes later, only the Control line was showing and nothing for the Test line, indicating I was negative.

I registered the test result with the NHS website and performed another test today that read negative too. It is a relief as I am in the vulnerable cohort, and one cannot risk getting infected regardless of the number of times one has been vaccinated and boosted. I should be on for my 4th shot in May.

The truth is, we cannot be indifferent, we do have to live with this virus milling around us whilst exercising all the necessary caution and safety procedures, this should all become second nature and hopefully, there is still something happening in the pharmaceutical world that does more to avoid infection totally through eradication rather than just reducing the effects of the virus.

Thought Picnic: On the way of thoughts

Zooming along

From the slip road of contemplation, my thoughts ride into the freeway of life where other thoughts some slow and others at speed race on to destinations indeterminate, each oblivious of the other, yet aware of the presence of mind to be considerate and understanding that no one thought is uniquely so different as to gain undue pre-eminence over another.

For as we coexist in our goal for our different or similar destinations, to home, to work, or any other activity, the expectations of safety and security are predicated on every other thought being reasonable and probably lawful too.

Caringly aware

At a point, we might swerve, then at another, there is a diversion that limits our freedom to manoeuvre sometimes due to essential roadworks planned ahead of time and notified to many or by reason of an impromptu even, an accident borne of error, mishap, carelessness, or incomprehensibly outrageous thinking. In which casualty might happen and fatality could result.

The guide rail of thought will sometimes protect and prevent, especially from veering off the side into a ravine of lifechanging consequence. We must always journey, leisurely, decisively, confidently, and purposefully, even when aimless, it should still be in sobriety that we might arrive safe to the company, care, and comfort of those whose thoughts surround us, inspire us, and keep us living for something. Where are our thoughts leading us?

The Hillsong controversy and resignation

Conduct with consequence

I would hate to stand in judgement on the conduct or abilities of another person. Yet in the lives of others, there are lessons we learn by example or the absence of the same to become better people. A few weeks ago, the Global Senior Pastor of Hillsong Church resigned from the church hierarchy that the church alluded to be certain breaches of the pastoral code of conduct in the last decade.

The two issues investigated together from almost a decade ago and in 2019 were serious enough to require that the co-founder with his wife of Hillsong Church from 1983 resign his commission. Apparently, Pastor Brian Houston in the first instance sent inappropriate messages to a woman who was not his wife, in the second instance, he visited the room of another woman and spent some time in her company.

Medication taking the blame

One should not speculate on what might have happened, but it is obvious that there were lapses in the judgement and definitely questionable conduct on the part of a high-profile religious leader. However, what does not sit well with me are the reasons given for these lapses in judgement; a dependency on sleeping pills and apparent disorientation as a result of the consumption of antianxiety medication combined with alcohol.

Why a man of God cannot sleep or needs to be on anti-anxiety medication that he ingested beyond the prescribed dose along with alcohol during a major global church conference is one might have to ponder and is open to conjecture, much as it speaks to the inadequacies and frailty of our humanity, regardless of position or status.

Owning up to our actions

Yet, we should be honest and ready to own up to our indiscretions, mistakes, errors of judgement, or irresponsible actions, whether sober or inebriated. To absent ourselves from consequence for our actions by reason of diminished responsibility or mental incapacity brought on by what we have consciously done is at best cowardly, if not dishonest, but let us not jump to conclusions.

For a church leader in the evangelical and Pentecostal circles to vacillate and dissemble when much of their core teaching is on leadership is quite unfortunate. I have given up friendships for what ex-friends have said about or to me in their drunken state because that is how they felt about me all along, the alcohol removed their inhibitions and sense of judgement or restraint to reveal what was in their hearts. To separate the man from the bottle or their addictions to excuse and overlook their actions, is to suggest all agency is lost when under the influence.

Admitting to our own faults

We might well excuse drunk drivers who cause accidents by their carelessness, maybe even gun owners for shootings because it was the gun that killed rather than the person who pulled the trigger. No, we hold them responsible because as a society we expect people for face consequences for those actions.

Indeed, Pastor Brian Houston might well take the time to reflect on how his life’s work might court an ignominious exit and the far-reaching consequences of his actions. The loss of place or status is a great sanction, and there might be redemption with the passage of time, but a man, if he is to be called a man must stand up and face what they are responsible for whether under the influence or not.

The owning up to “I did this …” has not been fully admitted to, rather it is the sleeping pills, antianxiety medication, alcohol doing the heavy lifting, what we are hearing is a tendency to seek absolution by reason of rather than the clear admission of fault by the person. This is where we need to be, his actions might have been exacerbated by medication, but the real story is the action of the pastor, that is what he resigned for. It is a matter of character as much as it is of integrity.

References

Hillsong: An important message from the Hillsong Global Board

Blog: Hillsnog: How the scandals at Hillsong took root

Knowing not to be confident in your incompetence

So, you think you are good?

When you think about it and discretion prevents you from speaking the truth just to spare their blushes or a feeling of despondency, many people are not as good at what they think they are good at. Aspects of expression or demonstration that they deploy can be so bad that if you do not have the form of words of a gentle let down, you endure the spectacle and move on.

Talk about dancing and everyone has a way they believe they can move to the music and too many of us do think we are good dancers with dare I say, a sense of rhythm, but when observed by someone else that has an idea of what dancing is about, they probably would not shove you off the dancefloor, even if what they are observing might haunt them thereafter.

In confidence, we perform

This kind of thinking comes with a sense of bravado or even confidence, but confidence is not expertise even as expertise might well exude confidence. Like when a colleague demonstrated a scenario to Microsoft to refocus our minds on what we were trying to resolve, I was more than impressed by the clarity of expression, the detail of the process, and the explanation of the issue that no one could be in any doubt about what we wanted doing. This man is good, I thought, he knows what he is doing, and he is doing it well.

Then I think of certain other situations like when someone was approached in a sauna by a quite self-assured masseuse, or so they thought, then whatever informed the person to take the offer I cannot tell, but from the first touch, as was narrated to me, there was nothing in the realm of all possible massage techniques in what they did, the hands were rough and might well have been attuned to masonry or at a smithery, but not on any human body, a polite and abrupt stop was called for.

If I were in that situation and that person could read my mind, and I am glad my mind is not such an open book when it should be, the person would have sought therapy at the ready excoriation that could have proceeded from my lips, and that would have been tempered with structure and consideration because my sobriety to a large extent bridles my tongue.

The conceit of stupid

It leads me to another aspect of confidence which is in fact, folly, and this is of people who use their phones whilst in control of a vehicle or when walking in a crowded area. Too many think they can concentrate on one thing while doing another.

Whether it is writing or reading messages on a phone, or listening to and participating in a conversation, these are serious distractions from driving and walking through a crowd that requires high levels of concentration and spatial awareness these other activities divide your concentration and might consequentially make you bad at all the activities, even if excellence could be demonstrated in your doing one activity at any one time.

I prefer to concentrate

Maybe people are good at multitasking, or they believe they are, I would rather time slice, apportioning time to one activity and then the next, frequently reviewing what I am doing and gauging the progress, keeping tabs on how much is accomplished for each of the things being done. I prefer to concentrate and that is why when I am out and about, I would only take calls on my phone if I have found a place to sit down.

On my walks too, I see a lot of people with their headphones or earbuds on, music going into their ears at volumes that exclude externalities they will encounter whilst jogging. As I have seen too many inconsiderate road users, drivers, cyclists, those on e-scooters and even plain pedestrians totally unaware of who is around them or what is happening around them, accidents happen.

I stopped wearing headphones and listening to music whilst out walking a long time ago, because I needed to know, see, and hear what was going on around me for my own safety and in consideration of others.

In a world of the world

Even when riding bicycles in The Netherlands, I only had an earpiece in one ear, for the same reason that I wanted to know what was happening around me. You cannot just feel you are in a world of your own when you are out in the world.

We all have mutual public space responsibilities to prevent walking into each other along with preventing other mishaps. I commend those who have amazing abilities, but I would err on the side of caution, when I see overconfidence, that person is probably prone to error and invariably puts us all at risk. 

We should get better at what we claim to be able to do, but also understand the limits of our abilities, however, more pertinently, seeking to impress when what you do is hardly impressive, neither helps you nor the others you are trying to impress. In jocular or informal and private settings, maybe, but otherwise, in public, formal, professional, or serious situations where lives and much else could be impacted, curtail and curb your enthusiasm.

Spitting words to blogs

Cursive and joined up

Working at writing is sometimes a chore, especially if after you have written something longhand you cannot find the wherewithal to type it out, then edit and post.

I have had that with a number of things that I have written, yet, I must say that being about to write on paper means you can do that anywhere without needing to have some device to hand.

Besides, every once in a while, it is nice to try out your handwriting, if only to keep a modicum of legibility on the scrawls you make having lost the finesse of calligraphic expression that at one time seemed a talent, if developed, within your grasp.

Unhelpful technologies

I guess what you need is a balance between the use of electronic devices and traditional methods of writing, varying their use and never discarding one for the other. Eventually, those pieces would be transcribed to blogs online.

The idea of speech-to-text recognition is not one I am particularly ready to attempt, even if the means are there, my voice seems to modulate, even if I have a distinctive voice print, easily recognised by friends on the phone.

Though, I was disappointed when I realised there was no handwriting conversion within Microsoft Word, which I use to type out and proofread my blogs; and this is after I had written a treatise for the computer to get an idea of how I write; if you need that Ink-to-Text feature, you have to do your scribbles in Microsoft OneNote.