Thought Picnic: Squaring the wheel

Out and about

Earlier than usual, the day started that I only had time for a shower and dressing up before making out to work without breakfast.

As we prepared for our meeting and conference, the idea that we could have breakfast before this fell through as time caught up with us without even a second for a Starbucks latte.

We found a room, and we entered a conference that had the first 15 minutes doing introductions, we were that many and it appears we would be interacting with many of them over the next few weeks and months.

Tinker bells

Meanwhile, I got the rights to look into what had been crafted for the UK, there is a danger that the wheel is being reinvented and in the process a perfectly efficient wheel is being underutilised.

I appreciate that technical people can be insufferable tinkerers with the impression that they can always craft something better than what has taken year-man-hours of amazing minds with untrammelled exposure to environments and scenarios too diverse to fathom, but I say, you must always determine what the tool can do before you retool.

Yet, I am learning, listening, reading, assimilating and appreciating what has been done before, lessons abound.

Reflection on inflection

Starbucks lattes after the conference, after lunch where we indulged in tuck shop cakes which became the desserts to a better prepared Italian pasta meal. The chef should probably stop experimenting with other cuisine.

The verdict from the conference was, too many assumptions abound and we need to challenge all those assumptions until each issue is clearly defined, understood, agreed upon and signed off.

That was the end of another day apart from getting clarifications between our signed contracts and the scheduling – what a relief, to all concerned.

Thought Picnic: Indulge Incidence

Ingress into

All our focus is geared towards a three-hour conference call with our colleagues in South Africa tomorrow morning.

Much as we might have many questions to frame and scope what we have to do, my view is that we be more the listening party than the talking party.

In fact, even when we should seek clarification, it is somewhat important to allow with consideration and patience everything to be said whilst we take notes and contextualise issues.

Incubate indicate

The day started slowly as we reviewed the agenda over Starbucks lattes ensconced in high-backed privacy seats with cushions to either prop us up or give some support to our backs. Usually, these places are taken up that we sit around ready to pounce on a place that comes free.

We are in danger in getting bored as it is early days, I would say we savour the moment because when things start we might be squeezing 36-hour days into typically 8-hour working days offset by the two-hour time zone ahead where South Africa resides.

Our laptops arrived in the morning, all stops pulled and favours cashed in, ready for our mailboxes to be flooded with idea, indication, intention, invention and interjection as we respond with interest and inquiry hoping that our induction has adequately invested us with information.

Insight ingénue

This would probably all be down to introductions first and the much that would follow. The first design activity we embarked on was to craft our email signatures from the template provided by the boss, obviously with a personal touch.

Some observations mean that our minds would be active with suggestions to bring finesse to some wonderfully crafted solutions before I start squinting at logs to divine what has gone into the some products being tested at present.

Insipid ingestions

The apparently Chinese meal I had prepared at the restaurant was served in a dish best reserved for Italian pasta which meant using chopsticks was almost impossible, and after the rice was stirred into the black bean sauce, we were closer to risotto than oriental fare – this barely made a passing grade.

That is not to talk of the coleslaw yesterday which scored average for my colleague which in my view was almost too generous a compliment – you ask – how do you get coleslaw wrong? Apparently, you can, and to add insult to injury, we paid for it. That it did not presage a sick-bag moment must be credit to our incredibly robust constitution.

And so, tomorrow is another day with thanks.

Thought Picnic: Hands of favour

Bless my soul

The favours I have obtained I can only be so grateful for, from those who open their hands to those offered their time, it is like a time of blessing for which I must be very thankful.

For the end of the last day at my accommodation did start in darkness, darkness for work was being done on the pylons. In fact, that was twice experience for the morning had a cut-out too when a new generator was being installed.

There wasn’t much to do in the dark than to snuggle under the duvet until the lights returned just about an hour later.

Peaceful the night was as ensconced in the room one did nothing else but for the pill time. Sleep was restful for the day to come which started as early as just after six.

No small town

As I prepared, a message came offering a lift to work; not one I could refuse and one I gladly accepted as we met at the tail end of my breakfast.

Traffic in this small town in the morning is close on horrendous whilst parking at the grounds of the stately home that represents the campus of offices was almost fraught, a sea of cars as far as the eye could see in the almost 15 car parks littering the place – it was hardly 5 minutes past 9.

Getting a scope

We met with our manager and then made for our new desks where we covered a number of agenda issues we would be discussing on a telephone conference with the antipodeans of Africa on Thursday.

The much it appears we have to do is obscured by the lack of clarity as to who, what and how the people we would service will be affected. So many bridges we would have to cross but we cannot cross those bridges until we reach those rivers.

Yet, as introductions go, we are getting the feel of how far technology would go but the bigger issue would be with people, process, procedure and politics.

The important thing is to know what to engage and when to escalate, striking a balance of compromise and coercion. In my view, this would be quite interesting and great fun.

Useful conversation

Over cups of Starbucks lattes we talked and considered, assumed and then debunked those assumptions, we should be weary of crystal balling the issues when we should ask direct questions and only be satisfied with clear answers.

My new place, smaller than the last was a comforting welcome and then the offer to take me to the shops to get things I might need, very generous and affable, you then realise that travel is the source of knowledge to share in making really wonderful conversation.

Pleasant, it was and yet, this is only the second day. With thanks I look forward to the next.

Thought Picnic: The Beginning Begins

Beyond access is action

Interest, inquiry, intention, invocation and intervention greeted the circumstances that presaged my arrival at my new project that began with an absence of any means but hope.

Difficult as it seemed the options one had were few and answers not forthcoming apart from some interest and some inquiry.

None of those took the issue forward and sometimes it made ones condition worse because it was fertile ground for worry that presaged stress where in fact its presence did not help matters than precipitate the apparent rut one was in.

So, for those, with as much courtesy as one could muster, one closed those lines down. Now, that is not to say one is not bothered, it is just that just productive came of it.

Beyond acquisition is acceleration

One decision however one had to avoid, in fact, it was never an option, the opportunity was to be taken and the nuclear option which could bring much hardship, the subject of many news stories by those caught in the need to do desperate things.

The seconds ticked away into hours and the time closed in, and then the help one desired came, just in the nick of time and before one set out on the journey that was a little under four hours.

We arrived to comment, comfort and compassion, composed and collected, the night passed restfully though with connections that failed.

Beyond acquaintance is acquisition

The day began refreshingly, well and expectantly, fed and helped we arrived to introductions and interactions, a long discussions of why and where framed the scope of what was expected of us.

This would be interesting and all thanks to what resulted from invocation, then one supposes part of what appears to irritate was to address the conscience and it could be uncomfortable.

The light and the night was the first day, with gratitude and more. Thank you.

Thought Picnic: Opportunity, Lack and Situation - Help!

Look up

You sometimes find yourself at a place where you literally have no answers to the problems you face that what is left to do is look up.

Looking up is important because it is the best response to preventing a situation where you are overwhelmed with the gravity of your circumstances.

At the same time you hope that a bit of detachment would present a light of inspiration and insight, maybe an idea or an indication of what path you should take.

That is where I find myself having exhausted the opportunities that I mentioned yesterday as I spoke with the social services who put up as many hurdles as they could so as not to help in my re-engagement.

Honestly!

After almost 3 hours of discussions and disputing, we agreed that they would defray transport costs but that is just one of the many scenarios I face.

I have no accommodation and no means of subsistence for the possibly first two weeks of work, and that presents a dangerously precarious situation that might impact on my ability to take up this new opportunity.

Much as I try not to think about it, I realise that there is little time left, it is crunch time, a case of the great warmth of sunshine in the daytime obscured by thunderstorm clouds raining cats and dogs with no shelter to run into.

The wind as boisterous as to lay waste the purpose of an umbrella, yet one can only hope because that provides the possibility of something and something good always happens to me.

That is how I find to smile to dress up my face even when turmoil swirls around me. This is one of those difficult personal blogs that you just realise must be written because it matters too.

Thought Picnic: From Welfare to Well Being

The system we have

Ahead lies opportunity when it appears that one’s hand is shortened to grasp it. I sometimes feel like I have exhausted the channels that I once readily appealed to for a fillip.

The first few weeks of a new posting are not the easiest and when it is far away from home some things usually taken for granted are harder to manage from subsistence to accommodation and other essential things.

We have a system to tide us over during times of unemployment, it is the welfare state, hardly generous but useful. The system is primed to frustrate us off the queue with subtle tactics, like visiting our advisors weekly, filling in job search activity forms, attending courses that belittle you, but you persevere.

The system we work

In the process, you learn better job search skills in the hope that this help can become a thing of the past, and it does for some of us. They could not wait to get rid of us.

There are guidelines in terms of looking for work, I went further afield, looked at more options and presented myself for as many activities as I could.

I attended interviews until became routine, some stretched on, some gave feedback but most came back with disappointing news but one did not relent.

Now, I have an offer, one that took a month from the time of the interview to the signing of the contract to complete.

The system we leave

It is far away from home so I have to relocate but that is two weeks of scrimping and scraping before the first remuneration comes in.

You are then caught in the midst of a promise of opportunity and the lurking inability to do much about it.

One would think those who want us off the queue would open-handedly offer something to see the back of us. Fat chance!

The system we trust

Yes, we need to do the paperwork that we are coming off welfare but moving from welfare to wellbeing is like they are telling me, you’re on your own.

I go for a meeting now just to see whether much can be done, I get a loan or for the worst possible option, reject the offer because I cannot get there to start.

I am hopeful, the better would come of this.

Thought Picnic: Comfort and comforting

Where is it?

Making it out to the hospital for my quarterly check-ups was a bit fraught as I literally turned the room upside-down looking for my Oyster travel card.

I mentally know where I put it but having had some cleaning up done in the room by someone else, things might have been moved and hence the bit of an upheaval.

In the end, I had to use a spare Oyster travel card, but that meant a call to the hospital that I would be running a little later than the scheduled appointment.

Don’t cry

My doctor was duly informed as I arrived some 10 minutes late and waited in the waiting room to be called.

There sat a beautiful and quite tastefully dressed lady almost opposite me, and as she contemplated and collected her thoughts, her face contorted, and she began to cry, that was quite upsetting for me.

So, I approached her and asked if she was fine, she responded and composed herself for not even a minute before she started to cry again.

I went to sit beside her and tried to comfort her, holding her hand, she had received a diagnosis just two days before, and she was lost about the realisation that this was life-changing and possibly a life sentence.

She did not know if she could tell her parents and she was very scared, each concern she had very valid and understandable, so I started with my own story.

Care to share

I learnt of my own status over 11 years ago and before me lay difficult choices and decisions, some that I tackled and others I ignored until my health deteriorated precipitously in 2009 leading to a cancer diagnosis. With that came the possibility that I would be gone in 5 weeks, yet in December I celebrated my 5^th birthday after diagnosis.

Fear, is a natural response that we all can entertain, but we need to decide what to do with that emotion, be frozen in despair or gain new determination beyond it.

This situation calls for primary concerns, first to yourself, your well-being, your happiness and then your extended support circle which might or might not include your relations. However, it is left for your relations to decide if they would reaffirm their love and care or walk away but that should not occupy one’s mind.

Learn and accept

I advised her to keep to the regimen of drugs prescribed, ensure she understands all the intricacies of the tests, what they mean and how the outcomes impact other decisions she might have to make in the future.

Most importantly, I told her, we are where we are today and what she must begin to do is gain acceptance of her diagnosis, in doing so, she would have the opportunity to look beyond the present and commence the new pursuit of happiness, living her life to the full.

During this session, the nurse had arrived for her but did not disturb us until I finished. I do hope she would have gained the strength to face things beyond the tears she shed today. I believe she would.

Wow!

Soon afterwards, my doctor called me in and as we reviewed the tale of the bloods, one indicator that had stuck on a low reading for years finally exceeded a number I last saw in 2005.

All other indicators looked good too, what is there not be thankful and grateful for? To help, to comfort, to share and then to hear good news – that is the essence of life, even though we carry in ourselves the sentence of death, we do not live like we are dying, but live in the fullness of knowing that this one life we have is worth living well.