The way we are
A few weeks ago, I
wrote about the issue of choices we end up making by reason of our loss of
innocence, this topic is one I chose to write about because I felt a burden,
the need to give voice to a matter we rarely deal with.
We however do need
to appreciate that our experiences inform the way we interact within our social
circles both far and near, more importantly, we must know the things to share
from the things to keep secret.
It is unsettling to
realise that some people failing to see life from perspectives completely
different from theirs think everyone should follow the template of their
example in terms of how revealing and open they should be about their private
lives.
Off my turf, you militants
It is almost as if
they are suggesting others are not entitled to some privacy, secrecy or talk
less of confidentiality whilst defining their friendship on the basis of the
total revelation of self.
This thinking is
taking on a militancy where unpalatable words are bandied around to coerce and
bludgeon the non-pliant into a defensiveness with the hope that the affected
divest themselves of their self-esteem in the pursuit of the narrow focus of
acceptance satisfying the assailant rather than maintaining the status quo of
comfortable accommodation that embraces the many – this is an acceptable
compromise the majority resides in and it is not unhealthy.
Boxes and labels
People just want to
be accepted as human beings and active participants in the global village of
humanity without having to be identified by labels some feel others should have
by reason of race, gender, ability or sexuality much as it is trendy to
identify with all sorts of minority tags to appear hip.
Much as we
compartmentalise our lives in the hope that things we reveal and the other
things we conceal will retain a modicum of mystique about ourselves, it should always
be the prerogative of the individual and that person should not be under
pressure to expose themselves beyond what they are comfortable with.
The conceit
I do hope that
those who have successfully created boxes and labels for their lives should
realise that the perfection they have achieved is not a one-size-fits-all for
everyone else, it is utterly pompous to even hazard the thought that your
definitions automatically form the full assessment of a subject.
The hubris of those
who have not walked in the shoes of others reeks of conceit and in pushing back
it is necessary to make it clear to them that it is at first none of their
business and then not everyone really wants to be like them, however strongly
they feel labels give them the fulfilment they think it brings to them
Mind your own business
Frankly, besides
being livid with rage, one is not impressed – they should get on with whatever
they want to do with their lives and stories but stop being judgmental of those
with a greater sense of discretion and decency, it is no shame to have secrets
and fear is a healthy emotion for the assessment of risk.
Just think, the
reason why people might not be so open with you might not be because they do
not trust you but because you have not earned their confidence – it is a
process, it does not come by probing inquisitive intrusion into the inner
recesses of a person; that is utterly disrespectful.
